my weight has been staying pretty consistent but for some reason after i ate this bread i woke up and weighed nearly 2 pounds heavier than two days ago. is the nutritional info lying ?

There's many reasons, but simply this works. (I am fasting for weight loss. "you" comments are directed at myself.)
Fasting is the first diet where a) I trust the process - there's no tricks and sales b) it is sustainable for me as a permanent lifestyle c) it is working and it will work as hard as i do. (105kg to 100kg)
On a sunday I like to go to the pub and have a parmy with a beer. I still can do that (minus the beer, see stopdrinking.)
One afternnon this week I had to see a physio. Firstly, this man reminds me of me - He's about my age (40s), he's tried to lose weight but has a beer gut, and he has used a pre-made meal service in the past - but regained the weight. His BMI sitting around 34, and like myself he's been trying to lose weight in multiple ways. When I mentioned my fasting he ADVISED ME AGAINST IT as it was some 'new fad diet'. This whole interaction became Fuel For The Machine.
Weight loss rule number one is, don't take advice from fat people. Even if they are in medicine.
Other Dieting and weight loss - i've tried the premade meal service, hitting the gym 7 days a week, intermittent fasting (which i still respect and am doing it informally, see OMAD), and seeing a nutritionist - her advice was 3 meals a day with carbs included(!) each meal. I've done the low fat diet, low carb diet, eating frequently 6 times a day, keto, and so on. Only fasting has been effective immediately, leaving me energetic and awake before my 4am alarm each day. I no longer have to follow every goddamned trend that comes along. I am certain that in the next 12months we'll hear about some new superfood. I will carry on doing normal things.
***
What is the perfect way to stay hungry and not lose any weight? Eat often throughout the day with carbs on the plate while limiting calories.
Why will you stay hungry doing this? because it creates both the expectation of regular food into the body while not eating enough calories. Your insulin will spike at each meal, when it declines hunger will follow afterwards and you'll be thinking about food again. The carbs/plant based food are low nutrition so micronutrients are being missed as well, the satiety foods are fatty and high protein. Simply put, steak is on the menu, wheat is OUT.
Why won't you* lose weight doing this?
Because you don't have time to reach into ketosis, autophagy, fat burning.
The Insulin spike following any kind of food allows food to be stored in cells (making you fat) and prevents the feeling of fullness (making you hungry). Insulin deserves it's own diatribe.
***
YOUR BODY NEEDS FOOD.
Look down. Grab a chunk of belly fat. That is the food that you should eat, and that is going to be ignored while you keep chewing food - any food - and swallowing it. This is why your new diet didn't work, protein shakes, superfoods, and any other measures. That tub of protein powder with fit skinny people on the side of it - it still counts as food, it still generates an insulin spike when you consume it. It still prevents you sourcing nutrition from the calories around your middle. (I absolutely do use protein powder when it is needed for a specific reason.)
What's wrong with The CICO approach (why don't you just count calories?)

1. It's laborious. Different calories have different effects. Screw all that work. I've got better things to do, and I want to eat food without feeling guilty.
2. It doesn't work - do you want millions of examples of fat people who have all tried CICO?They are everywhere. 1/3 of people are medically obese. If it did work, people would pick their target weight and do CICO until it is achieved. This is not what we observe among obese people. "Yes but people don't follow nutritionists' advice" Really? The same people were told to cut out cholestorol, stop smoking and reduce fat - they did so and we see across the board, less smoking, fatty foods and cholesterol intake. CICO failed.
3. You can still get obesity and constant hunger with CICO because of regular sugar intake and regular insulin spikes.
4. It actually does work - when used logically to go into a fasted state at intervals.
5. CICO used logically equals fasting.

​
Other things i'm enjoying with fasting:
Clean body odour - less shopping - easy to resist fast food - Permanently clean kitchen - saving money. LOOKING FIT.
Conclusion:
This way of life is completely under my control. It frees me from slavery to 'new information' about health and weight loss. It is 100% sure to keep working. It prevents cancer. It does not need to be minutely tracked, although I use a fasting tracker for my own satisfaction. It has no drawbacks. I get to eat a big meal (feast) on days where there is no fast planned. I'm going to still be doing this in 12months, alleviating the mental drain of thinking about it all the time.
This is the diet that will carry me forward another 45 years in good health.
​
*(When I say "YOU" These results and observations are directed at myself, YMMV.)

Expedition report from RG-5
Area of recon: Shore of Meilume due east of Galdush
Report carried out by Lieutenant Eric Ross
Report states: RG-5 has encountered an elven outpost on its way to the shore. The purpose of these outposts is to act as checkpoints for the Imperial army as well as to maintain surveillance within an area. The outpost encountered by RG-5 had thirty soldiers guarding it. RG-5 attempted peaceful contact, however, the elves engaged and RG-5 retaliated. All enemies have been neutralized and RG-5 has suffered no casualties and the outpost has been searched. Upon reaching the shore, RG-5 made peaceful contact with a local fishing village. They helped in local affairs, such as hunting down several feral welfen and repairing their equipment. In return, the locals gave them information on the coast south of the North Alston river. There are seven villages between the river and the Alston kingdom border and three more north of the river, which make up the fishing community of the southeast coast of the empire. The southeast coast and shore are patrolled by the Imperial third fleet with its center in the port city of Cheemo. Further information is required.
Other news: The airstrip has been finalized and drones have been sent to various locations. New findings include the official location of the river city Kuruk to the north and Imperial fort Mundus to the west. A large cluster of Imperial soldiers has been seen gathering on the opposite side of the North Alston river. Numbers count between one hundred and one hundred and fifty thousand, including auxiliary troops. No signs of any movement south of the river. Will continue to observe. The CIA has been able to establish a network in the Meilume capital and the leading agent, Edward Garcia, has confirmed that the nobility is attempting to flee the area. RG-3 is advised to speed up. As for the city itself, the population is estimated to be roughly six hundred thousand with fortifications and a force of ten thousand soldiers. No elements of any Imperial spy network have been discovered.
28th day of late yellow season, 3000th cycle
Meilume capital, Empire of light
General Laeroth's words reached the nobility of Meilume and they heed its instructions. Lord Bellon Belus rushed his family and the guard commander followed. Servants carried bags and soldiers formed a formation to escort them to Una, where they will meet with the army that will bring them to the other side of the river and then to the city of Imslone. Bellon was always a father and husband first, and lord second. Nearly two hundred thousand soldiers were slaughtered in less than a moon cycle. That was proof enough that he needed to leave the capital and save his family. Abandoning his city in the face of the enemy was an act of cowardice, often severely punished, but he would take any punishment for those he loved. He would not be like his father.
Bellon walked through the halls and double-checked every room. "Hurry up! Leave anything not of use! Leave the valuables, they are only dead weight!"
"Bellon!", a woman called him.
"Nimriel.", he said.
"Must we leave? This has been our home for cycles. And our family's home for far longer. Leaving it is-"
"It is the only way. The only way for us to live. We must, Nimriel. If we do not, the enemy will take us."
"But Bellon-"
"Think of our daughter, Nimriel. Think of Taria. What if those barbarians breach the walls? After they're done with the peasants, do you believe they will spare us? I will not allow such a thing to happen."
And speaking of the devil, Taria appeared from the corner, wearing a battle uniform with a sword sheathed on her left hip and holding a helmet in her right hand. "I am ready father."
Bellon couldn't say he was shocked too much. Since she was little she used to sneak into the courtyard and train with the guard commander. He knew and let her do what she wanted. It made her happy. But this was uncalled for.
"Stop fooling around Taria.", Bellon said, "This is a serious matter."
"Then take me seriously!", Taria responded, "The enemy is coming and I must be ready."
"You are not staying. You are coming with us to Imslone."
"I am not. I will not commit an act of cowardice and leave my post."
"Your post is beside me. I am your father!"
"I am not a little girl anymore! I have trained with Aego for over a hundred cycles! I am ready!"
"This enemy destroyed two armies and bested two generals! We stand no chance! Our only choice is to flee as far as we can and let the armies deal with them. The best we can hope to do is slow them down."
"You dare doubt our guard like that, father! These soldiers are just as strong as those of the Imperial army and our walls have held off the Rosians and ferals! We can-"
"Do you not hear me you stupid girl!", Bellon's voice boomed through the walls and made the servants and guards stop in their tracks, "I do not care for your illusions! The enemy is real! Wars are bloody and repulsive and not a place for you! You are the daughter of a lord! You are the heir to Meilume and a member of the Belus family! You will cease this foolishness at once and act accordingly!"
This was the loudest Bellon ever had to shout. He could feel his throat hurting. Taria could only feel tears falling down her cheeks as she lowered her head in shame. In truth, she just wanted to prove she was as capable as she claimed. That despite being a girl she could live in the world of men. But her dreams would have to wait. Bellon groaned and shook his head as he kept walking down the hall. Nimriel hugged her daughter and tried to reassure her everything will be alright, but her words fell on deaf ears.
As Nimriel left, someone else walked over to Taria from behind. As he placed his hand on her shoulder, Taria turned around and saw a man she thought of as her second father. "Aego.", she said through tears.
"Do not be saddened, my lady.", he said as he wiped her tears, "Your father said what he said because he cares. You are his only daughter, more valuable to him than this entire world. He only wants what is best for you. And right now, the best for you is to go to Imslone."
"B-But the enemy. What will you do?"
"I am coming with you, my lady. I left my first captain in charge. He will make sure these otherworlders bleed for this city."
Taria hugged him, still shedding tears, "Thank you Aego. Thank you."
Aego hugged her back.
---
29th of June, 2070
Since the Rift Groups programs have been initiated, soldiers all around have been eager to join. Some more than others, some less. But none were as stocked as sergeant Emma Davis. The second youngest member of RG-1, she was nicknamed 'Trigger-finger' for a reason. Great results in the shooting range, but not much else. Still, when she heard the 'Prodigy' was joining she couldn't control herself. Ever since they left for Alston, she's been clinging to Logan like a leach.
"Sir, how many people have you killed?", she asked.
"I lost count.", Logan answered.
"Sir, why have you joined the army?"
"It's a family tradition."
"Sir, have you been shot?"
"Yes."
"Sir, may I see it?"
"No."
"Sir, why did you leave the special forces?"
Logan didn't answer that one.
"Sir-"
"Emma shut up already.", Jacob said.
"Yeah, I think you're getting on the captain's nerves.", Michael said.
Staff sergeant Jacob Brown and corporal Michael Hoilman, Emma's friends since high school and pretty much the only reason she's not in jail. They've stuck by her side, being her big brothers for years, and kind of grown attached to her. It was like having a little sister.
"No I'm not.", Emma said.
"Yes you are.", Jacob said.
"You hold your captain in quite a high regard.", said Krolm, the leanoid, "Why?"
"Are you kidding me?", Emma said, "He's Logan Connors. All of Fort Bragg and the rangers know about him."
"Are rangers perhaps elites in your army?", asked Kai, the welfen.
"We're rangers.", said veteran sniper sergeant Nick Harper aka 'Bullseye', "We're a strike fast group made for quick attacks and quick action. We're not like the rest of the army that fights on the front lines. We fight in forests, towns, cities, forts, you name it. We hit fast, hard, and take care of our mission."
"Hell yeah we do!", shouted corporal Lamar Jones, the 'Heavy gunner'.
"Interesting.", said Clara, the lepian, "So that's why you have us with you. It makes sense, you don't really need us on the front lines when you got your large cannons and these armored carriages."
RG-1 wasn't just a normal group. It was the only group with sixty-six soldiers, a captain, and twice as many vehicles. This made them quite a force and that was necessary since they were being deployed to the border of Alston. After prince Bodin agreed to assist REC he chose three people who would aid him. Gregor Bachwich, son of Herwin Bachwich, the baron of the border town of Afa. He will be important in establishing first contact with the Rosians. Lieutenant Pallius Blazewing, son of Lor Blazewing, a great military figure in the Opherin army. The Opherin kingdom prides itself on great military history, having fought more battles than any Rosian kingdom or duchy in history. And finally, a youngster named Matheo Calo. There was nothing special about him besides being prince Bodin's personal squire. He's been with Bodin for years and the two became more than just prince and servant. Furthermore, Bodin promised Matheo he would bring him back to his mother in Olinor. Prince Bodin himself didn't choose to come along. His reasoning was that he wants to present himself in front of all the kings and dukes when they all gathered together. One more person did come with them. Ambassador Eugene Anderson. Together, they will establish peace. Or war.
Right now they were on their way to Afa, only several more minutes. In the LAV where the tribals were, private first-class Ethan Williams sat, writing in his journal. He was the youngest and newest addition to the group. Fresh off the academy, he graduated to be a sniper and was eager to learn from both Logan and Nick. But something kept him from them. Next to him sat Carla, who kept eyeballing him and his weapon. Ethan was nervous, he wasn't used to girls sitting near him, or even looking at him, and Carla seemed interested.
"What is this weapon?", she asked.
"O-Oh Ummm, this?", he stuttered, "This is a modified and modernized Mk22 ASR sniper rifle. I know there are older models but my granddad taught me how to use this one. It can hit a target from about twenty-two hundred yards away. In your measurements, that's four leagues."
Carla's ears went up, "Amazing! I bet I could hunt a lot of meat with it."
"Well, um. It takes a lot of skill to use it. I could show you, sometime."
"Oh?", Carla raised an eyebrow and moved closer smiling, "I think I would like that.". She purred a little which made Ethan stutter and sweat. Across from them, Lin watched with her arms crossed.
"What?", Carla asked, "Envious?"
"Not at all.", Lin said as she grabbed Lamar's arm, "I prefer strong males.". Lamar opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He and Ethan just stared at each other.
"Before your boners brake your belts and that LAV becomes hotter than a pizza oven at Papa John's, I wanna let you know we're almost there.", said lieutenant James Wilson over the comms from the leading JLTV3, the most veteran among them, chosen to uphold discipline.
"Thank you.", said Logan.
"They seem to be getting along.", said ambassador Anderson.
"Indeed.", said Gregor, "I must say, you humans are more strange than you are frightening. The way you use words with one meaning for another. And your expressions as well. Definitely not the savages Canus described."
"I'm glad we could prove that to you. And it appears we are about to prove it to the rest of your kingdom.". They were nearly at Afa. This town serves as a fortified stronghold against the empire should they attack. Its walls were tall and thick, with bastion towers and a single entry gate. It would be difficult for the elves to take it.
"The town currently has a thousand soldiers protecting it. It's usually three thousand, but two thousand went with me through the rift. Most likely on the orders of the elves, my father would never allow it."
"Only three thousand?", James asked.
"Three thousand official soldiers, but should the need arise we can recruit militia fighters from the residents. The town itself has a population of eighty thousand."
"That's a lot of people.", Eugene said.
"Yes. Luckily, it is able to support them, even if barely. The elves aren't exactly sharing people."
"That will all change soon."
As the convoy approached the gate, a ballista javelin hit the road in front of them. The city defenders had assembled on the wall and aimed their weapons at them. While the vehicles are armored, the JLTVs have weak spots a javelin can pierce.
"Hold it!", shouted a man on the wall, presumably the commander, "Present yourselves immediately."
"I'll take care of this.", Logan said as he exited the JLTV with his hands raised, "I am Captain Logan Connors of the Rift Expeditionary Corps! We are from Galdush and have come to make peaceful relations with the kingdom of Alston!"
"Why should we listen to you!?"
"If not me, then how about someone more familiar!".
At that moment, Gregor stepped out of the JLTV3 and, to put it mildly, made the defenders' hearts skip a beat. "Commander Barion! It is good to see you!"
Barion couldn't even speak for moments. His young baron was alive. Against all odds, he made it back. "Y-Young baron!", he finally spoke, "You... You live! How!? And what are you doing with the enemy?!"
"I assure you, they are not the enemy! I will explain everything, but first, I need to ask you to open this gate and let these soldiers in!"
Barion hesitated for a moment, "B-But young ba-"
"Commander, do not make me order you!"
He immediately understood, "Open this gate immediately! Let them in! Someone inform the baron!"
The gate opened and the convoy made it in. Luckily, there was enough room to fit all of them in. Barion and his men, as well as the people, could only stare in awe at what was before them. Truly, people from another world. The commander stepped down and greeted them as well as Gregor.
"Young baron, you have a lot of explaining to do.", Barion said.
"All will be explained soon.", Gregor said.
"Gregor!", shouted a little girl as she ran towards him.
"Elora.", Gregor said as he hugged her, "My little sister. It is good to see you.". Behind her came his mother and father, who at first walked slowly with tears in their eyes, not believing it was him.
"My son.", Herwin said as he hugged Gregor, "By the heavens. You live."
"Mother. Father. I have returned. Let me introduce you to someone. This is Lord Ambassador Eugene Anderson from the land of America on the other side of the rift. He is here to represent his country and the humans."
Herwin immediately walked to him and bowed, "I am Baron Herwin Bachwich. Thank you for sparing my son's life. It is an honor to have you here, Lord Anderson."
"The honor is mine baron.", Eugene said, "I hope we will be able to discuss peace with you and your kingdom."
This confused Herwin, "Peace?"
"I have much to tell you father.", Gregor said, "The prince lives."
Completely frozen, Herwin took a few moments to process that before replying, "He lives?"
"Enemies!", shouted a soldier from the wall. Commander Barion and Logan rushed up the wall. Logan grabbed his binoculars and observed the enemy from a distance. They came from a treeline, their camp was behind it, otherwise, RG-1 would have spotted them.
"I count five hundred.", Logan said, "Various races. Elves, Rosians, ferals."
"How?", Barion asked.
"These are binoculars. They allow me to see things from a distance. Try it."
Logan handed the binoculars to Barion, who observed them for a few moments before putting them on his eyes and facing the enemy. "Incredible."
Barion handed them back but Logan refused, "Keep it, I have a spare. I get the elves, but why are your people attacking you?"
"Those bastards aren't our people. They are traitors and thieves who think the kingdom is done for. So they run to the empire and beg them for forgiveness.". He spat in disgust.
"And the elves. They don't look like the army."
"They most likely were. They call themselves rogues, those who stray from their so-called 'Path of light'. Both of these traitors sicken me."
"Then let us help you."
"Why would you help us?"
"If we're gonna be at peace with one another, we have to establish a certain level of trust, don't we?"
Barion pondered for a bit before answering, "Very well. I am eager to see the army that defeated the elves."
Nodding Logan walked to the edge of the wall and faced his men. "Jones, take your men and mount the machine guns! Davis, bring the ammo! Williams, Harper, get to higher ground and shoot anyone that looks important or a large threat! Wilson, take Green and set up the mortar! Move it, they'll be here in minutes!"
RG-1 immediately went to work. Jones and his men carried the machine guns from the trucks and mounted them on the walls, Williams and Harper climbed up the tallest tower they could find and got into position. Wilson set up the 60mm mortar in the town square.
"I think we should get to safety.", Eugene said.
"You are right.", Herwin said, "Follow me."
Logan got into position with his Mk4 SCAR chambered in 7.62mm. "Commander, I need a favor."
"What is it, captain?", Barion asked.
"If these guys fire arrows, we don't have shields to defend ourselves. You think your men can take of that?"
"Certainly. Get the shields ready! Protect their soldiers!". In moments, each ranger had a Rosian soldier behind him or her with a shield ready. It was time to fight.
The horde moved closer and closer. First, they walked and then picked up the pace as they put shields above their heads. Naturally, the ferals ran towards the wall like rabid animals. "Hold!", Logan said as he gripped his gun, "Wait for them to get closer!". There was one elf on a horse swinging his sword and giving commands. Not for long.
"It's all you kid.", Harper said as he watched Williams aim his shot.
Letting out a breath, Williams pulled the trigger and splattered the elf's brain all over the field. "Boom boom motherfucker."
"Weapons free! Light them up!", Logan shouted as the rangers opened fire on the ferals. The freaks fell by the dozens as bullets pierced their chest, heads, legs, and arms and turned them into cold, dead corpses. The mortar fired at the enemies behind them, who stopped in their tracks, clearly confused and terrified. The rangers aimed their weapons at them and started cutting them down.
"Get some, blueberries!", Davis shouted, "Come closer! I dare ya!"
The few dozen that survived retreated back to the trees. The rangers cheered, but the Rosians didn't cheer as much as they stared in awe. Now they see why the elves lost, these people are powerful.
Commander Barion walked to Logan, "Thank you for the assistance. But I doubt this is the last we have seen of them."
"I know.", Logan said, "That's why I'll have one of my guys scout those trees with a drone along with Lin and Clara.". Logan walked down to the two of them, "Scot! Get over here!"
"Coming!", Scot answered. Scot Green aka 'Mechanic', was the group's engineer. He was also their drone pilot. "Yes sir?"
"I need you to pilot the Fly into those tree lines and scout for the enemy.". The SPFD Fly was a small recon drone invented by DARPA to save both room and energy. Solar-powered and long-lasting battery, coupled with its long-range and small size made it a very useful tool to have in recon missions. "Lin, Carla, you two are also going. I need good eyes and ears over there."
"Sure thing, sir.", Lin said saluting the best she could.
"You two do know how to use a radio, right?"
"Of course we do.", Clara said, "We're not idiots."
"Good. Go.". Lin and Carla ran to the trees as Scott maneuvered the Fly.
The baron and his family, along with Ambassador Eugene walked over to the soldiers. The baron was first to speak, "That was... most impressive. But I must ask. Why peace? Surely you seem powerful enough to take the kingdoms by force."
"Because my people aren't barbarians, baron.", Anderson said, "If peace can be made, then we will do anything to make it a reality."
"I see. And the prince? What does he say about this?"
"You can ask him yourself.", Anderson said as he nodded to Logan who signaled his men to set up a desk and a large screen. "With this device, we can talk to the prince and even see him."
"Amazing.", said Herwin as he eagerly awaited to see his prince. After some preparations, the screen was ready and it turned on. The lights slightly startled the Rosians before the screen was clear and on it was prince Bodin himself. "My... My prince.", Herwin said as he knelt, "It is a miracle. You truly live."
"Baron Bachwich.", Bodin spoke, "Please, rise. I am not before you just yet. This is strange for me as well. Am I correct to assume the human soldiers have arrived?"
"Yes, my prince. They recently just helped us crush an attack from a bandit horde."
"Do you then see why I have chosen to make peace with these people?"
After a momentary pause, Herwin nodded, "I do, my prince. It is incredible to see that a nation so powerful is willing to make peace with its enemy and not subdue it."
"We are not their enemy, baron. The elves and their empire are. This is why they chose to make peace with us. They understand we are just vassals forced to fight. I suggest you hear Lord Anderson out."
As they were talking, Scot called for Logan, "Sir. I have a visual."
Logan nodded, "Alright. Commander Barion, would you like to see the enemy?"
"Yes.", Barion answered, "Show me."
Scot pulled up the video feed on his screen, "This is their camp. I count roughly three thousand. Lin and Carla confirm."
"Where are those two?", Logan asked.
"In the trees."
"Call them back and give me the radio.", Logan took the radio, "Galdush base. Come in Galdush base. This is Captain Logan Connors of Rift Group 1. Do you copy? Over."
After a few moments, the radio spoke, "Copy Rift Group 1. Sitrep. Over."
"Galdush, we have made contact with border town Afa. Upon entry, we engaged a third party, designated rogue elves, and bandit Rosians. Half a battalion attacked us but we drove them off. We confirm the enemy numbers in three thousand, various races. What's the status of our air forces? Over."
"Three air squadrons of Invictus ACs and a Boeing Stratofortress is currently being fueled and should be ready in half an hour."
"Galdush I request a tactical bombing run. The area will be marked via drone. How copy?"
The radio went silent for a few moments before speaking again, "Affirmative RG-1. Stratofortress will be up in the air as soon as possible. Make sure to mark the area. Galdush out."
"Copy that Galdush. RG-1 out."
"What was that?", Barion asked.
"You're gonna get another demonstration."
"Captain!", Carla shouted as she ran towards him. "I have eliminated an enemy scout.", she said as she extended a severed head toward Logan.
Logan smacked his lips before replying, "I see. Get rid of it."
"Yes sir.", Carla said as she tossed the head into a nearby pile of trash.
'At least she's helping', Logan thought.
---
(Two hours later)
The bandits and rogues were sitting in their tents, trying to plan an attack. The otherworlders were an unexpected problem, but hopefully a problem they could be dealt with.
"Alright, listen.", said an elf, "We'll strike at night. It didn't work last time because there were too many of them, but I reckon there can't be more than a few dozen of them."
"That doesn't matter.", said a Rosian, "I've seen what that few can do."
"You attacked with five hundred to scout their defenses. You were never supposed to win. Besides, we can use the tribals to deal with them. As we are attacking the front, they will go to the sides and strike."
"Are you sure this will work?"
"Yes. Soon, Afa will be ours."
At that moment, an elf rushed into the tent, "Sir, you must come and see this!"
They left the tent and came to the center of the tent. The one who called them pointed upwards into the sky. There they saw something flying. A wyvern? No, it was too big. Its wings didn't flap. What could it be? As it flew over them, something fell from it. Many egg-like things started falling and as they fell to the ground, they engulfed the camp in fire and shook the earth. In moments, the whole camp was on fire and everyone was either dead or dying. The ground was turned into a burning pile of scorched bodies.
If there were any doubts about the power of the otherwolders left, they were long gone now.
---
(Meanwhile)
Road to Una
The Belus family along with commander Aego and two hundred soldiers were on their way to Una. Taria did not wish to ride with her father and so she rode on a horse alongside Aego. Their hopes were that they would reach Una in several days and then cross the river.
"My lady.", Aego spoke, "Are you certain you should be riding alongside me and not in the carriage?"
"I do not wish to speak to my father.", Taria said, "At least not now."
"I assumed we cleared this matter."
"We have but... I still need time."
Aego sighed, "I understand. Still, you should not hate him for-", he stopped and halted the soldiers.
"What?"
"Something is not as it should be. This outpost is quiet.". The soldiers tensed up. They could also feel that something wasn't right. In a split second, Aego was shot by an arrow in the side.
"Ambush!", Taria yelled out. Suddenly, elves, welfen, and leanoids ran from the sides and the outpost. The soldiers prepared but found themselves overwhelmed by the enemies' numbers. Rogue elves fired arrows at them while welfen and leanoids exploited weaknesses and struck. Still, the soldiers fought hard, making sure the traitors and savages suffer. The enemy numbers were dropping, but not quickly enough. Taria used her training and cut down several rogues before crouching down to help Aego.
"Aego!", she yelled, "Aego hold on! You will live! Please!". She cried as he struggled to breathe. He grabbed her arm and pushed her to the side, just in time for her to dodge a spear from a leanoid. She watched as Aego spat blood before dying, his life leaving his body. In pure rage, she screamed and struck the leanoid in the side. Pulling out her sword she blocked a strike from a rogue, stepped closer, and headbutted him before slitting his throat.
Turning to her left she saw the rogues and tribals dragging her family. "Father!", she yelled, but couldn't help as a rogue hit her in the back of the head, knocking her down on the ground. Her blurred vision faded away as the rogue smiled down at her.
"Sweet dreams, little girl.", was what he said before she passed out completely.
End of chapter 9
​
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Expedition report from RG-5
Area of recon: Shore of Meilume due east of Galdush
Report carried out by Lieutenant Eric Ross
Report states: RG-5 has encountered an elven outpost on its way to the shore. The purpose of these outposts is to act as checkpoints for the Imperial army as well as to maintain surveillance within an area. The outpost encountered by RG-5 had thirty soldiers guarding it. RG-5 attempted peaceful contact, however, the elves engaged and RG-5 retaliated. All enemies have been neutralized and RG-5 has suffered no casualties and the outpost has been searched. Upon reaching the shore, RG-5 made peaceful contact with a local fishing village. They helped in local affairs, such as hunting down several feral welfen and repairing their equipment. In return, the locals gave them information on the coast south of the North Alston river. There are seven villages between the river and the Alston kingdom border and three more north of the river, which make up the fishing community of the southeast coast of the empire. The southeast coast and shore are patrolled by the Imperial third fleet with its center in the port city of Cheemo. Further information is required.
Other news: The airstrip has been finalized and drones have been sent to various locations. New findings include the official location of the river city Kuruk to the north and Imperial fort Mundus to the west. A large cluster of Imperial soldiers has been seen gathering on the opposite side of the North Alston river. Numbers count between one hundred and one hundred and fifty thousand, including auxiliary troops. No signs of any movement south of the river. Will continue to observe. The CIA has been able to establish a network in the Meilume capital and the leading agent, Edward Garcia, has confirmed that the nobility is attempting to flee the area. RG-3 is advised to speed up. As for the city itself, the population is estimated to be roughly six hundred thousand with fortifications and a force of ten thousand soldiers. No elements of any Imperial spy network have been discovered.
28th day of late yellow season, 3000th cycle
Meilume capital, Empire of light
General Laeroth's words reached the nobility of Meilume and they heed its instructions. Lord Bellon Belus rushed his family and the guard commander followed. Servants carried bags and soldiers formed a formation to escort them to Una, where they will meet with the army that will bring them to the other side of the river and then to the city of Imslone. Bellon was always a father and husband first, and lord second. Nearly two hundred thousand soldiers were slaughtered in less than a moon cycle. That was proof enough that he needed to leave the capital and save his family. Abandoning his city in the face of the enemy was an act of cowardice, often severely punished, but he would take any punishment for those he loved. He would not be like his father.
Bellon walked through the halls and double-checked every room. "Hurry up! Leave anything not of use! Leave the valuables, they are only dead weight!"
"Bellon!", a woman called him.
"Nimriel.", he said.
"Must we leave? This has been our home for cycles. And our family's home for far longer. Leaving it is-"
"It is the only way. The only way for us to live. We must, Nimriel. If we do not, the enemy will take us."
"But Bellon-"
"Think of our daughter, Nimriel. Think of Taria. What if those barbarians breach the walls? After they're done with the peasants, do you believe they will spare us? I will not allow such a thing to happen."
And speaking of the devil, Taria appeared from the corner, wearing a battle uniform with a sword sheathed on her left hip and holding a helmet in her right hand. "I am ready father."
Bellon couldn't say he was shocked too much. Since she was little she used to sneak into the courtyard and train with the guard commander. He knew and let her do what she wanted. It made her happy. But this was uncalled for.
"Stop fooling around Taria.", Bellon said, "This is a serious matter."
"Then take me seriously!", Taria responded, "The enemy is coming and I must be ready."
"You are not staying. You are coming with us to Imslone."
"I am not. I will not commit an act of cowardice and leave my post."
"Your post is beside me. I am your father!"
"I am not a little girl anymore! I have trained with Aego for over a hundred cycles! I am ready!"
"This enemy destroyed two armies and bested two generals! We stand no chance! Our only choice is to flee as far as we can and let the armies deal with them. The best we can hope to do is slow them down."
"You dare doubt our guard like that, father! These soldiers are just as strong as those of the Imperial army and our walls have held off the Rosians and ferals! We can-"
"Do you not hear me you stupid girl!", Bellon's voice boomed through the walls and made the servants and guards stop in their tracks, "I do not care for your illusions! The enemy is real! Wars are bloody and repulsive and not a place for you! You are the daughter of a lord! You are the heir to Meilume and a member of the Belus family! You will cease this foolishness at once and act accordingly!"
This was the loudest Bellon ever had to shout. He could feel his throat hurting. Taria could only feel tears falling down her cheeks as she lowered her head in shame. In truth, she just wanted to prove she was as capable as she claimed. That despite being a girl she could live in the world of men. But her dreams would have to wait. Bellon groaned and shook his head as he kept walking down the hall. Nimriel hugged her daughter and tried to reassure her everything will be alright, but her words fell on deaf ears.
As Nimriel left, someone else walked over to Taria from behind. As he placed his hand on her shoulder, Taria turned around and saw a man she thought of as her second father. "Aego.", she said through tears.
"Do not be saddened, my lady.", he said as he wiped her tears, "Your father said what he said because he cares. You are his only daughter, more valuable to him than this entire world. He only wants what is best for you. And right now, the best for you is to go to Imslone."
"B-But the enemy. What will you do?"
"I am coming with you, my lady. I left my first captain in charge. He will make sure these otherworlders bleed for this city."
Taria hugged him, still shedding tears, "Thank you Aego. Thank you."
Aego hugged her back.
---
29th of June, 2070
Since the Rift Groups programs have been initiated, soldiers all around have been eager to join. Some more than others, some less. But none were as stocked as sergeant Emma Davis. The second youngest member of RG-1, she was nicknamed 'Trigger-finger' for a reason. Great results in the shooting range, but not much else. Still, when she heard the 'Prodigy' was joining she couldn't control herself. Ever since they left for Alston, she's been clinging to Logan like a leach.
"Sir, how many people have you killed?", she asked.
"I lost count.", Logan answered.
"Sir, why have you joined the army?"
"It's a family tradition."
"Sir, have you been shot?"
"Yes."
"Sir, may I see it?"
"No."
"Sir, why did you leave the special forces?"
Logan didn't answer that one.
"Sir-"
"Emma shut up already.", Jacob said.
"Yeah, I think you're getting on the captain's nerves.", Michael said.
Staff sergeant Jacob Brown and corporal Michael Hoilman, Emma's friends since high school and pretty much the only reason she's not in jail. They've stuck by her side, being her big brothers for years, and kind of grown attached to her. It was like having a little sister.
"No I'm not.", Emma said.
"Yes you are.", Jacob said.
"You hold your captain in quite a high regard.", said Krolm, the leanoid, "Why?"
"Are you kidding me?", Emma said, "He's Logan Connors. All of Fort Bragg and the rangers know about him."
"Are rangers perhaps elites in your army?", asked Kai, the welfen.
"We're rangers.", said veteran sniper sergeant Nick Harper aka 'Bullseye', "We're a strike fast group made for quick attacks and quick action. We're not like the rest of the army that fights on the front lines. We fight in forests, towns, cities, forts, you name it. We hit fast, hard, and take care of our mission."
"Hell yeah we do!", shouted corporal Lamar Jones, the 'Heavy gunner'.
"Interesting.", said Clara, the lepian, "So that's why you have us with you. It makes sense, you don't really need us on the front lines when you got your large cannons and these armored carriages."
RG-1 wasn't just a normal group. It was the only group with sixty-six soldiers, a captain, and twice as many vehicles. This made them quite a force and that was necessary since they were being deployed to the border of Alston. After prince Bodin agreed to assist REC he chose three people who would aid him. Gregor Bachwich, son of Herwin Bachwich, the baron of the border town of Afa. He will be important in establishing first contact with the Rosians. Lieutenant Pallius Blazewing, son of Lor Blazewing, a great military figure in the Opherin army. The Opherin kingdom prides itself on great military history, having fought more battles than any Rosian kingdom or duchy in history. And finally, a youngster named Matheo Calo. There was nothing special about him besides being prince Bodin's personal squire. He's been with Bodin for years and the two became more than just prince and servant. Furthermore, Bodin promised Matheo he would bring him back to his mother in Olinor. Prince Bodin himself didn't choose to come along. His reasoning was that he wants to present himself in front of all the kings and dukes when they all gathered together. One more person did come with them. Ambassador Eugene Anderson. Together, they will establish peace. Or war.
Right now they were on their way to Afa, only several more minutes. In the LAV where the tribals were, private first-class Ethan Williams sat, writing in his journal. He was the youngest and newest addition to the group. Fresh off the academy, he graduated to be a sniper and was eager to learn from both Logan and Nick. But something kept him from them. Next to him sat Carla, who kept eyeballing him and his weapon. Ethan was nervous, he wasn't used to girls sitting near him, or even looking at him, and Carla seemed interested.
"What is this weapon?", she asked.
"O-Oh Ummm, this?", he stuttered, "This is a modified and modernized Mk22 ASR sniper rifle. I know there are older models but my granddad taught me how to use this one. It can hit a target from about twenty-two hundred yards away. In your measurements, that's four leagues."
Carla's ears went up, "Amazing! I bet I could hunt a lot of meat with it."
"Well, um. It takes a lot of skill to use it. I could show you, sometime."
"Oh?", Carla raised an eyebrow and moved closer smiling, "I think I would like that.". She purred a little which made Ethan stutter and sweat. Across from them, Lin watched with her arms crossed.
"What?", Carla asked, "Envious?"
"Not at all.", Lin said as she grabbed Lamar's arm, "I prefer strong males.". Lamar opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He and Ethan just stared at each other.
"Before your boners brake your belts and that LAV becomes hotter than a pizza oven at Papa John's, I wanna let you know we're almost there.", said lieutenant James Wilson over the comms from the leading JLTV3, the most veteran among them, chosen to uphold discipline.
"Thank you.", said Logan.
"They seem to be getting along.", said ambassador Anderson.
"Indeed.", said Gregor, "I must say, you humans are more strange than you are frightening. The way you use words with one meaning for another. And your expressions as well. Definitely not the savages Canus described."
"I'm glad we could prove that to you. And it appears we are about to prove it to the rest of your kingdom.". They were nearly at Afa. This town serves as a fortified stronghold against the empire should they attack. Its walls were tall and thick, with bastion towers and a single entry gate. It would be difficult for the elves to take it.
"The town currently has a thousand soldiers protecting it. It's usually three thousand, but two thousand went with me through the rift. Most likely on the orders of the elves, my father would never allow it."
"Only three thousand?", James asked.
"Three thousand official soldiers, but should the need arise we can recruit militia fighters from the residents. The town itself has a population of eighty thousand."
"That's a lot of people.", Eugene said.
"Yes. Luckily, it is able to support them, even if barely. The elves aren't exactly sharing people."
"That will all change soon."
As the convoy approached the gate, a ballista javelin hit the road in front of them. The city defenders had assembled on the wall and aimed their weapons at them. While the vehicles are armored, the JLTVs have weak spots a javelin can pierce.
"Hold it!", shouted a man on the wall, presumably the commander, "Present yourselves immediately."
"I'll take care of this.", Logan said as he exited the JLTV with his hands raised, "I am Captain Logan Connors of the Rift Expeditionary Corps! We are from Galdush and have come to make peaceful relations with the kingdom of Alston!"
"Why should we listen to you!?"
"If not me, then how about someone more familiar!".
At that moment, Gregor stepped out of the JLTV3 and, to put it mildly, made the defenders' hearts skip a beat. "Commander Barion! It is good to see you!"
Barion couldn't even speak for moments. His young baron was alive. Against all odds, he made it back. "Y-Young baron!", he finally spoke, "You... You live! How!? And what are you doing with the enemy?!"
"I assure you, they are not the enemy! I will explain everything, but first, I need to ask you to open this gate and let these soldiers in!"
Barion hesitated for a moment, "B-But young ba-"
"Commander, do not make me order you!"
He immediately understood, "Open this gate immediately! Let them in! Someone inform the baron!"
The gate opened and the convoy made it in. Luckily, there was enough room to fit all of them in. Barion and his men, as well as the people, could only stare in awe at what was before them. Truly, people from another world. The commander stepped down and greeted them as well as Gregor.
"Young baron, you have a lot of explaining to do.", Barion said.
"All will be explained soon.", Gregor said.
"Gregor!", shouted a little girl as she ran towards him.
"Elora.", Gregor said as he hugged her, "My little sister. It is good to see you.". Behind her came his mother and father, who at first walked slowly with tears in their eyes, not believing it was him.
"My son.", Herwin said as he hugged Gregor, "By the heavens. You live."
"Mother. Father. I have returned. Let me introduce you to someone. This is Lord Ambassador Eugene Anderson from the land of America on the other side of the rift. He is here to represent his country and the humans."
Herwin immediately walked to him and bowed, "I am Baron Herwin Bachwich. Thank you for sparing my son's life. It is an honor to have you here, Lord Anderson."
"The honor is mine baron.", Eugene said, "I hope we will be able to discuss peace with you and your kingdom."
This confused Herwin, "Peace?"
"I have much to tell you father.", Gregor said, "The prince lives."
Completely frozen, Herwin took a few moments to process that before replying, "He lives?"
"Enemies!", shouted a soldier from the wall. Commander Barion and Logan rushed up the wall. Logan grabbed his binoculars and observed the enemy from a distance. They came from a treeline, their camp was behind it, otherwise, RG-1 would have spotted them.
"I count five hundred.", Logan said, "Various races. Elves, Rosians, ferals."
"How?", Barion asked.
"These are binoculars. They allow me to see things from a distance. Try it."
Logan handed the binoculars to Barion, who observed them for a few moments before putting them on his eyes and facing the enemy. "Incredible."
Barion handed them back but Logan refused, "Keep it, I have a spare. I get the elves, but why are your people attacking you?"
"Those bastards aren't our people. They are traitors and thieves who think the kingdom is done for. So they run to the empire and beg them for forgiveness.". He spat in disgust.
"And the elves. They don't look like the army."
"They most likely were. They call themselves rogues, those who stray from their so-called 'Path of light'. Both of these traitors sicken me."
"Then let us help you."
"Why would you help us?"
"If we're gonna be at peace with one another, we have to establish a certain level of trust, don't we?"
Barion pondered for a bit before answering, "Very well. I am eager to see the army that defeated the elves."
Nodding Logan walked to the edge of the wall and faced his men. "Jones, take your men and mount the machine guns! Davis, bring the ammo! Williams, Harper, get to higher ground and shoot anyone that looks important or a large threat! Wilson, take Green and set up the mortar! Move it, they'll be here in minutes!"
RG-1 immediately went to work. Jones and his men carried the machine guns from the trucks and mounted them on the walls, Williams and Harper climbed up the tallest tower they could find and got into position. Wilson set up the 60mm mortar in the town square.
"I think we should get to safety.", Eugene said.
"You are right.", Herwin said, "Follow me."
Logan got into position with his Mk4 SCAR chambered in 7.62mm. "Commander, I need a favor."
"What is it, captain?", Barion asked.
"If these guys fire arrows, we don't have shields to defend ourselves. You think your men can take of that?"
"Certainly. Get the shields ready! Protect their soldiers!". In moments, each ranger had a Rosian soldier behind him or her with a shield ready. It was time to fight.
The horde moved closer and closer. First, they walked and then picked up the pace as they put shields above their heads. Naturally, the ferals ran towards the wall like rabid animals. "Hold!", Logan said as he gripped his gun, "Wait for them to get closer!". There was one elf on a horse swinging his sword and giving commands. Not for long.
"It's all you kid.", Harper said as he watched Williams aim his shot.
Letting out a breath, Williams pulled the trigger and splattered the elf's brain all over the field. "Boom boom motherfucker."
"Weapons free! Light them up!", Logan shouted as the rangers opened fire on the ferals. The freaks fell by the dozens as bullets pierced their chest, heads, legs, and arms and turned them into cold, dead corpses. The mortar fired at the enemies behind them, who stopped in their tracks, clearly confused and terrified. The rangers aimed their weapons at them and started cutting them down.
"Get some, blueberries!", Davis shouted, "Come closer! I dare ya!"
The few dozen that survived retreated back to the trees. The rangers cheered, but the Rosians didn't cheer as much as they stared in awe. Now they see why the elves lost, these people are powerful.
Commander Barion walked to Logan, "Thank you for the assistance. But I doubt this is the last we have seen of them."
"I know.", Logan said, "That's why I'll have one of my guys scout those trees with a drone along with Lin and Clara.". Logan walked down to the two of them, "Scot! Get over here!"
"Coming!", Scot answered. Scot Green aka 'Mechanic', was the group's engineer. He was also their drone pilot. "Yes sir?"
"I need you to pilot the Fly into those tree lines and scout for the enemy.". The SPFD Fly was a small recon drone invented by DARPA to save both room and energy. Solar-powered and long-lasting battery, coupled with its long-range and small size made it a very useful tool to have in recon missions. "Lin, Carla, you two are also going. I need good eyes and ears over there."
"Sure thing, sir.", Lin said saluting the best she could.
"You two do know how to use a radio, right?"
"Of course we do.", Clara said, "We're not idiots."
"Good. Go.". Lin and Carla ran to the trees as Scott maneuvered the Fly.
The baron and his family, along with Ambassador Eugene walked over to the soldiers. The baron was first to speak, "That was... most impressive. But I must ask. Why peace? Surely you seem powerful enough to take the kingdoms by force."
"Because my people aren't barbarians, baron.", Anderson said, "If peace can be made, then we will do anything to make it a reality."
"I see. And the prince? What does he say about this?"
"You can ask him yourself.", Anderson said as he nodded to Logan who signaled his men to set up a desk and a large screen. "With this device, we can talk to the prince and even see him."
"Amazing.", said Herwin as he eagerly awaited to see his prince. After some preparations, the screen was ready and it turned on. The lights slightly startled the Rosians before the screen was clear and on it was prince Bodin himself. "My... My prince.", Herwin said as he knelt, "It is a miracle. You truly live."
"Baron Bachwich.", Bodin spoke, "Please, rise. I am not before you just yet. This is strange for me as well. Am I correct to assume the human soldiers have arrived?"
"Yes, my prince. They recently just helped us crush an attack from a bandit horde."
"Do you then see why I have chosen to make peace with these people?"
After a momentary pause, Herwin nodded, "I do, my prince. It is incredible to see that a nation so powerful is willing to make peace with its enemy and not subdue it."
"We are not their enemy, baron. The elves and their empire are. This is why they chose to make peace with us. They understand we are just vassals forced to fight. I suggest you hear Lord Anderson out."
As they were talking, Scot called for Logan, "Sir. I have a visual."
Logan nodded, "Alright. Commander Barion, would you like to see the enemy?"
"Yes.", Barion answered, "Show me."
Scot pulled up the video feed on his screen, "This is their camp. I count roughly three thousand. Lin and Carla confirm."
"Where are those two?", Logan asked.
"In the trees."
"Call them back and give me the radio.", Logan took the radio, "Galdush base. Come in Galdush base. This is Captain Logan Connors of Rift Group 1. Do you copy? Over."
After a few moments, the radio spoke, "Copy Rift Group 1. Sitrep. Over."
"Galdush, we have made contact with border town Afa. Upon entry, we engaged a third party, designated rogue elves, and bandit Rosians. Half a battalion attacked us but we drove them off. We confirm the enemy numbers in three thousand, various races. What's the status of our air forces? Over."
"Three air squadrons of Invictus ACs and a Boeing Stratofortress is currently being fueled and should be ready in half an hour."
"Galdush I request a tactical bombing run. The area will be marked via drone. How copy?"
The radio went silent for a few moments before speaking again, "Affirmative RG-1. Stratofortress will be up in the air as soon as possible. Make sure to mark the area. Galdush out."
"Copy that Galdush. RG-1 out."
"What was that?", Barion asked.
"You're gonna get another demonstration."
"Captain!", Carla shouted as she ran towards him. "I have eliminated an enemy scout.", she said as she extended a severed head toward Logan.
Logan smacked his lips before replying, "I see. Get rid of it."
"Yes sir.", Carla said as she tossed the head into a nearby pile of trash.
'At least she's helping', Logan thought.
---
(Two hours later)
The bandits and rogues were sitting in their tents, trying to plan an attack. The otherworlders were an unexpected problem, but hopefully a problem they could be dealt with.
"Alright, listen.", said an elf, "We'll strike at night. It didn't work last time because there were too many of them, but I reckon there can't be more than a few dozen of them."
"That doesn't matter.", said a Rosian, "I've seen what that few can do."
"You attacked with five hundred to scout their defenses. You were never supposed to win. Besides, we can use the tribals to deal with them. As we are attacking the front, they will go to the sides and strike."
"Are you sure this will work?"
"Yes. Soon, Afa will be ours."
At that moment, an elf rushed into the tent, "Sir, you must come and see this!"
They left the tent and came to the center of the tent. The one who called them pointed upwards into the sky. There they saw something flying. A wyvern? No, it was too big. Its wings didn't flap. What could it be? As it flew over them, something fell from it. Many egg-like things started falling and as they fell to the ground, they engulfed the camp in fire and shook the earth. In moments, the whole camp was on fire and everyone was either dead or dying. The ground was turned into a burning pile of scorched bodies.
If there were any doubts about the power of the otherwolders left, they were long gone now.
---
(Meanwhile)
Road to Una
The Belus family along with commander Aego and two hundred soldiers were on their way to Una. Taria did not wish to ride with her father and so she rode on a horse alongside Aego. Their hopes were that they would reach Una in several days and then cross the river.
"My lady.", Aego spoke, "Are you certain you should be riding alongside me and not in the carriage?"
"I do not wish to speak to my father.", Taria said, "At least not now."
"I assumed we cleared this matter."
"We have but... I still need time."
Aego sighed, "I understand. Still, you should not hate him for-", he stopped and halted the soldiers.
"What?"
"Something is not as it should be. This outpost is quiet.". The soldiers tensed up. They could also feel that something wasn't right. In a split second, Aego was shot by an arrow in the side.
"Ambush!", Taria yelled out. Suddenly, elves, welfen, and leanoids ran from the sides and the outpost. The soldiers prepared but found themselves overwhelmed by the enemies' numbers. Rogue elves fired arrows at them while welfen and leanoids exploited weaknesses and struck. Still, the soldiers fought hard, making sure the traitors and savages suffer. The enemy numbers were dropping, but not quickly enough. Taria used her training and cut down several rogues before crouching down to help Aego.
"Aego!", she yelled, "Aego hold on! You will live! Please!". She cried as he struggled to breathe. He grabbed her arm and pushed her to the side, just in time for her to dodge a spear from a leanoid. She watched as Aego spat blood before dying, his life leaving his body. In pure rage, she screamed and struck the leanoid in the side. Pulling out her sword she blocked a strike from a rogue, stepped closer, and headbutted him before slitting his throat.
Turning to her left she saw the rogues and tribals dragging her family. "Father!", she yelled, but couldn't help as a rogue hit her in the back of the head, knocking her down on the ground. Her blurred vision faded away as the rogue smiled down at her.
"Sweet dreams, little girl.", was what he said before she passed out completely.
End of chapter 9
​
---
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# Today In Phishstory - April 1st Brought to you by tiph-bot. Beep.
All data extracted via The Phishnet API.

Phish

Phish, Thursday 04/01/1993 (30 years ago) Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Portland, OR, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Set 1 : Amazing Grace , I Didn't Know ¹
1 a cappella
Show Notes:
Ancient Forests Benefit On this afternoon, Phish appeared at a rally and benefit for Ancient Forests. Neil Young, David Crosby, Carole King, Ann and Nancy Wilson from Heart, and Kenny Loggins also performed.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Thursday 04/01/1993 (30 years ago) Roseland Theater, Portland, OR, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1993 WinteSpring Tour
Set 1 : Llama , Guelah Papyrus , Rift , Stash , The Squirming Coil , My Friend, My Friend ¹ , Paul and Silas > Fluffhead , Lawn Boy , Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Axilla > The Curtain > Possum , Fee > Ya Mar , Tweezer , Poor Heart , Big Ball Jam , Hold Your Head Up > Terrapin > Hold Your Head Up , Cavern
Encore : Carolina ² , Tweezer Reprise
1 Beginning featured Trey on acoustic guitar. 2 Without microphones.
Jamchart Notes:
Stash - Moves beyond "Stash" at about 7:00 for a good 2 minutes of exploration before returning.
Tweezer - Very CYHMK-like jam for several measures. Smokes!
Show Notes:
The beginning of My Friend featured Trey on acoustic guitar. Antelope included I Feel the Earth Move and Barracuda teases. The prevalent rumor among audience members (aided, to some extent, by the band and crew helping spread the rumor) was that Neil Young would make a guest appearance. Trey teased Heart of Gold before Llama and Sugar Mountain before The Squirming Coil and in Lawn Boy. Tweezer contained Fire (Ohio Players) teases. After Big Ball Jam, the crew set up a folding chair, Trey's acoustic guitar, and an extra microphone on stage. Trey introduced "Neil Young" to the roaring crowd, then went behind the drums and began playing the Hold Your Head Up intro with Fish appearing instead. Some friends sitting in the front row promptly hit Fish in the face with a pie. Fish sang a line of After the Gold Rush (with Page assisting on piano) before launching into Terrapin. After the second Hold Your Head Up, Trey joked that Bill Clinton would be helping out on saxophone for the next song prompting Page and Fish to tease Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1. Carolina was performed without microphones.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Wednesday 04/01/1992 (31 years ago) Liberty Hall, Lawrence, KS, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1992 Spring Tour
Set 1 : Golgi Apparatus , Foam , Bouncing Around the Room , Brother , All Things Reconsidered , Sparkle , It's Ice , Runaway Jim , I Didn't Know ¹ , The Landlady > David Bowie ² , Carolina ³
Set 2 : Llama , You Enjoy Myself , The Horse > Silent in the Morning , Uncle Pen , Tweezer > Horn , Chalk Dust Torture , Cold as Ice > Cracklin' Rosie > Cold as Ice , The Squirming Coil > Tweezer Reprise
Encore : Contact , Rocky Top
Encore 2 : Lawn Boy , Good Times Bad Times
1 Fish on trombone. 2 Oom Pa Pa, Will the Circle Be Unbroken?, Get Back, Aw Fuck!, and Random Note signals. 3 Without microphones.
Show Notes:
To commemorate April Fool's Day, Fish got decked out in a black dress with a feather boa around his neck. During I Didn't Know, Trey introduced him as "Tommy Dorsey's third cousin twice removed" prior to Fish taking a trombone solo. Bowie included Landlady teases as well as Oom Pa Pa, Will the Circle Be Unbroken?, Get Back, Aw Fuck!, and Random Note signals. Carolina was performed without microphones. Mike teased Heartbreaker in Good Times Bad Times.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, 1990-04-01 Unknown Venue, Minneapolis, MN, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/phish-april-01-1990-unknown-venue-minneapolis-mn-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: It's unknown whether this show occurred. The March/April 1990 Phish Update says “call hotline” and Trey’s notes said “off.” If a show occurred this day, the setlist is unknown. The source of this information is phish.com.
Phish, Saturday 04/01/1989 (34 years ago) Pearl Street Ballroom, Northampton, MA, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1989 Tour
Set 1 : La Grange
Show Notes:
This show took place in the basement of the Pearl Ballroom in a room called the U-Joint (short for Universal Joint).
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Tuesday 04/01/1986 (37 years ago) Hunt's, Burlington, VT, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1986 Tour
Set 1 : Quinn the Eskimo (The Mighty Quinn) > Have Mercy ¹ > Harry Hood , The Pendulum ² -> Dave's Energy Guide , Icculus ³ , You Enjoy Myself
Set 2 : Help on the Way ¹ > Slipknot! ¹ > AC/DC Bag ³ , McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters ⁴ > Alumni Blues > Letter to Jimmy Page > Alumni Blues > Dear Mrs. Reagan
Encore : Not Fade Away ⁵
1 First known Phish performance. 2 With Zenzile Madikinea. Madikinea recited revolutionary poetry. 3 First known performance. 4 Spoken in Dylan-esque fashion. 5 First known Phish performance; with The Joneses.
Jamchart Notes:
AC/DC Bag - Debut -> in from "Slipknot" and includes a short intro section that continued through 1988.
McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters - Trey speaks the lyrics in a "Dylan-esque" manner, while the jam portion features a soaring Trey guitar solo.
Show Notes:
This show was billed as Hunt's Festival of Fools. Phish and The Joneses switched off for 45-minute sets; the two bands performed the encore together. The Pendulum, which was a recital of revolutionary poetry, featured guest Zenzile Madikinea. This gig contained the first known versions of AC/DC Bag and Icculus, the first known Phish version of Have Mercy, and the only known Phish performances of Help on the Way, Slipknot and Not Fade Away. McGrupp was spoken in a Dylan-esque fashion, in keeping with Trey's jokes about Phish being the "Dylan Band." Free Bird was teased before Not Fade Away.
Listen now at Phish.in!

Trey Anastasio

Trey Anastasio Band, 2005-04-01 Higher Ground, South Burlington, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-01-2005-higher-ground-south-burlington-vt-usa.html
Tour: TAB - 70 Volt Parade Spring 2005 Tour
Show Notes: This gig featured the debuts of "Low," "What's Done," "Come As Melody" and "18 Steps" as well as the TAB debuts of "It's Ice" and "I Am the Walrus." "Love Is Freedom" featured Trey on acoustic guitar and did not include Les or Skeeto; Trey also performed on acoustic guitar for the intro to "Bar 17." "70 Volt Parade" was played over the P.A. as the band left the stage at the end of the second set.
Surrender to the Air, 1996-04-01 The Academy, New York, NY, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-april-01-1996-the-academy-new-york-ny-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes: Surrender to the Air was an effort of Trey Anastasio to bring contemporary musicians together to improvise in the free form style of the jazz musician Sun Ra and the Sun Ra Arkestra. This performance, and the following night were, in conjunction with the previous month's release of the Surrender to the Air album. The two sets featured entirely improvisational music.

John Fishman

Pork Tornado, 2000-04-01 The Met, Providence, RI, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-01-2000-the-met-providence-ri-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 2000
Show Notes:
Pork Tornado, 1999-04-01 Higher Ground, Winooski, VT, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-april-01-1999-higher-ground-winooski-vt-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Pork Tornado Spring 1999
Show Notes: Flan opened. Pork Tornado included a Voodoo Child tease. Before Trouble Every Day, Dan Archer did a brief spoof on If I Had A Hammer.

I'm essentially giving up, I'm tired as fuck as being told and sold this promise bullshit of the surgerys and the methods that I am trying that it's pointless and effortless and regardless of who I am, genes or anything else, I'm going to be shackled by my wieght and I'm definently going to die, no if, no buts, nothing. I'm going to share my experiences and why I am comming to this decision.
I am and I am well, fully well aware of my situation, my chances and the risks, however, I do not like being fear mongled, lied to, discouraged and used as a fucking lab rat or a permanent source of money. I am 30m, 509 as of today. I suffer from PTSD, Depression, anxiety, S.A.D. I'm using a different acc from my original but I am gonna explain a bit of my story. My highest weight was 576. During that time, this was about 5 to 6 yrs ago, I started to develop my ptsd, Depression when I ran out of my meds and my doctors refused to refill, I hit a massive crisis moment. I've lost 6 months staying inside, gaining, my mind went everywhere, demons resurfaced and I was alone. Essentially my best friend (bro) was there and helped me regained some sense and eventually, my Dr decided to refill my meds and things started to get back on track for me. I started on my weightloss journey from there and made alot a process
On a better tl:Dr for my journey, changing my meds, watching shows and learning about nutrition, calories, vitimans and portions. Cut down on alot of foods, frozen, takeout, junk, and implemented a routine that got me down to 487.
I was hitting a pleateu and decided and accepted that further help would be needed, now here's where the bullshit
BMC (Boston Medical Center)
Me and my brother went to a appointment for possible gastric sleeve that I've heard about soo much from my 600 lb life. I was interested because from what I was told by the doctored, it takes out the majority of the stomach and the big part that releases the hunger hormone that makes some eat. Did a weigh in, sat down with the surgeon assistant and things went down hill from there. We was discussing the three surgeries, bypass, sleeve and band. The pros, the cons, risk, success rates, etc. I explain how I'd like the gastric sleeve. He looked at me and strongly advise the gastric bypass because
it's more successful, long term, permanent and in his words, actually work
I've explain my concern and my feelings against the bypass and not even finishing my words, he cut me off and said that I only wanted the sleeve so that I can still eat whatever I want and what's it. He went on to saying how some woman came with concerns of nolonger eating rice and ice cream. Told me the hernia, dumping syndrome, gallbladder issues and the throwing up with daily sickness is a small price to pay for a overall successful weightloss and happiness and living. I won't lie, I tuned him out because by that point, he's not listening to me so everything else I say is pointless. They gave me a folder of their program which takes place for 3 months to just start the program. Classes mandatory to learn about the life change, culinary classes, other stuff that though was a good idea, they put in my FUCKING MEDICAL NOTES FOR A MANDATORY BYPASS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mt Aubern in Boston
Scheduled a appointment, filled out online paperwork and joined a online call from the head and eldest and one of the founders of that location from decades ago. He guides me asking simple and understandable questions, like do I smoke weed cause it induces hunger. He also told me that his practice, he believes in genes playing a major role in wieght gain.(HEAVELY IMPORTANT FOR LATER) he sent me a link to watch which is mandatory, but educate me about the three options, a touch of the history, the pros, the cons, the percents of success, fails, etc. Moving on, I on the phone meet up with a social worker who God forgive me, was unbearable. In short, she's the type that covers her assess throw paper work and it's her way or the high way. She tells me, condencendently that I have no choice but to go to her, everyone goes through her. She explains that while everything is being process, I'd need to wait 2 months til then. I waited two months aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnd nothing. I've called them and God only knows why, their phone lines were disconnected. I've asked my pcp to reach out, nothing. 6 months later, I get a call from the social worker telling me in order to continue the program, I'd have to sign a waiver to have my social worker to share everything we talk about and it now has to be all about my wieght. She Never mentioned anything about that prior and it caught me off guard. I've asked what happened to the office and she claims she has No idea what I'm talking about. I've shared my feelings about the sudden process and she was saying " that's not my problem, I have it RIGHT HERE, I have it Right here you agreed to the waiver of your social worker and the discussions. We've talked about it and I have it right here that you've agreed to the steps" sounding snug, forcefully and uptight. All I hear from that is My Ass is Covered af and my rules my rule, and when something inevitably happens, MY ASS IS SAAAAAFFFEEEE, oh and too bad 🤷‍♂️
After speaking to my social worker about my concerns, I've called the sw back and told her I'm no longer interested. She said, " I'll pass the message" click*
MT Auburn in Waltham MA ( all in MA btw)
I've made a appointment after not getting anywhere and started to gain, I've asked my Dr office and ask for a recommendation for a comfortable, pleasant experience, I was told this place is excellent and nice. They sent me to Mt Auburn in Waltham. Walked in, pleasant af receptionist, Godforbit you're ruining their lunch( I'll explain in a bit) weigh in, walked in office, explained bit of my story, she took notes and asked questions. She then told me that I should eat lentils, that her other clients complain about eating that and she really pushes them to eat that and lots of protien powder, this is one of the things I don't like being compared with others left and right. She also advised me that I stead of eating with a TV on, to eat while there's nothing on. Few more mins and that makes one appointment. My next appoint I was told, extragerated that I cannot be late, I HAVE TO BE HERE EARLY AND ON TIME. Got there with the seriousness and the demand of being on time, mf receptionist ARE AT LUNCH. I have nothing against them having their break, but don't fucking demand me come here early to an empty receptionist, empty waiting room and the same Dr who DEMANDED THAT I COME EARLY SAW ME FROM THE HALL WAY AND IGNORED ME AFTER MAKING EYE CONTACT. waited essentially 20 min after my appointment and got seen by her. She essentially told me that everything I've been doing is Wrong. I've told her I've been using chickpea pasta, she nodded her head and said "nice, you should try whole wheat pasta" I told her that I don't do well with wheat in general, she simply said that I need to eat wheat. She gave me an annaligy that destroyed me
The body is the bank and food is money
The more money the bank has, the happier the bank is. The bank loves to hav3 money in its account, however, when the bank starts loosing money ( body loosing weight) the bank starts to panic and is going to hold on to as much money (cal) as it can.
I've tried to tell her my methods and habits and I was told that it's all bad, seriously bad. She advise me to eat a tv dinner lean cuisine, and gave me a pamphlet of what I needed to do. To explain, some of the methods was
Chick pea pasta, eat it twice a month
A hand full of peanuts as a snack
Eating low fat foods
There was a rebuttle for Everything!!!
Cheakpea=Needs to be wheat
Hand ful of peanuts, once a day=TOO MUCH FAT
Low fat foods=Not consuming enough protien shakes
I was also shamed that my meds, the big one, Clonidine .4mg causes weight gain and try to con me into Not taking it. When I told my family and friends the story, they all get disgusted and angry for me. The place essentially shamed me by saying it's a cause as to no matter how much I try, it promotes weight gain. It scared me to the point of skipping and going through withdrawals
When we finished, she saw the sadness in my face and asked if I'm alright and after I said yes, she said remember, the bank
I've forgot to mentioned that the fear chats is saying I'm gonna have a heart attack
ALL my problems involve ny wieght, litterally nothing much. Hell, i had a phycologist demand that I don't drink soda, insinuate that all my issues are involve with my wieght, even though she had a soda right next to her. Btw I don't like soda or surgury drinks. My current PHY wants to check my vitals for a AH HAH type move, asking for cholesterol, blood sugar and thyroid. It's serverly harming me both physically and mentally. It's got me so defeated and loss, I've essentially said Fuck it. No Dr is gonna hear me, no one wants to deal with me unless they're getting a pay day from my insurance. I've been told also that I've for got to mentioned, the last clinic says that genes doesn't mean anything. HOW THE FUCK DOES SAME HOSPITALS, DIFFERENT CLINICS SAY AND DO DIFFERENT THINGS?????
I've been told basically that anything without weightloss is pointless, ppl that I know that got the gastric bypass, a "sister" who got it gets sickly monthly, hernia, gallbladder, literally, she goes the hospital every month for a serious issue. It happens so much, we've lost track on how much. On top of that, she gained all that back and more, aaaannd still going through alot physically because of it. Before that, she was abit big, yes, but she never had any health issues, it more was an image issue
Someone I was a neighbor had the bypass, died of a heart attack by the age of 36
Me personally, my bloodpressure is 125/90(was 141/100)
Blood glucose 5.7 (was 6.0)
Thyroids are normal
I know and we'll aware my weight is dangerously high, however idk Genetics is helping in ways, and the reason I say that because and sadly, my Godbrother who's 33, slim/fit, works out and whatnot has diabetes type 2. He wasn't born with it and was Never big, he prob weigh bout 170
Someone else I know who's less than half my weight has hbp that's in the 160s, even going for at times 170+, he moves around and eats accordingly.
Majority of Dr's saying that everything is temporary and im fucked once I get older, meanwhile I have family in their 50s, 80s and 90s that are heavy set and doing very well aside from just the scale.
I will say that None of us are immobile, moving around feels natural and aside from having asthma that can trigger from stress, everything else is great honestly. No knee pains, no joint pains, in ways, flexible, and no family health issues.
We do encourage each other from not eating junk food or eating out. We all talk about what's on the nutrition facts and try to stay away from high sat fat, carbs and sugar. It's helped us in many ways, however with what was told to me by the "professionals" I honest to God gave up.......I gave up, I'm sorry
I'm not giving up like I wanna eat like Its going out of style or eat all the wrong things, but weighing myself every 2 months, counting every cal in meals to the point I'm having panic attacks and high anxiety that shuts me down mentally and not feeling like I'm living for myself, it's draining and tiring some by alot. I'm tired of looking for medical help since I'm getting different answers, different experiences, but being told the same be slim, be happy. Sad thing is my current phycologist tried to sell me on that by saying, lying imho " I have a few patients that got the surgery and they feel more energized and happy*. The second I said that a few ppl that had that is 6 ft under he shut that shit down way quickly. Im not being heard, I'm not being listened to. Why fucking Bother???

I'm essentially giving up, I'm tired as fuck as being told and sold this promise bullshit of the surgerys and the methods that I am trying that it's pointless and effortless and regardless of who I am, genes or anything else, I'm going to be shackled by my wieght and I'm definently going to die, no if, no buts, nothing. I'm going to share my experiences and why I am comming to this decision.
I am and I am well, fully well aware of my situation, my chances and the risks, however, I do not like being fear mongled, lied to, discouraged and used as a fucking lab rat or a permanent source of money. I am 30m, 509 as of today. I suffer from PTSD, Depression, anxiety, S.A.D. I'm using a different acc from my original but I am gonna explain a bit of my story. My highest weight was 576. During that time, this was about 5 to 6 yrs ago, I started to develop my ptsd, Depression when I ran out of my meds and my doctors refused to refill, I hit a massive crisis moment. I've lost 6 months staying inside, gaining, my mind went everywhere, demons resurfaced and I was alone. Essentially my best friend (bro) was there and helped me regained some sense and eventually, my Dr decided to refill my meds and things started to get back on track for me. I started on my weightloss journey from there and made alot a process
On a better tl:Dr for my journey, changing my meds, watching shows and learning about nutrition, calories, vitimans and portions. Cut down on alot of foods, frozen, takeout, junk, and implemented a routine that got me down to 487.
I was hitting a pleateu and decided and accepted that further help would be needed, now here's where the bullshit
BMC (Boston Medical Center)
Me and my brother went to a appointment for possible gastric sleeve that I've heard about soo much from my 600 lb life. I was interested because from what I was told by the doctored, it takes out the majority of the stomach and the big part that releases the hunger hormone that makes some eat. Did a weigh in, sat down with the surgeon assistant and things went down hill from there. We was discussing the three surgeries, bypass, sleeve and band. The pros, the cons, risk, success rates, etc. I explain how I'd like the gastric sleeve. He looked at me and strongly advise the gastric bypass because
it's more successful, long term, permanent and in his words, actually work
I've explain my concern and my feelings against the bypass and not even finishing my words, he cut me off and said that I only wanted the sleeve so that I can still eat whatever I want and what's it. He went on to saying how some woman came with concerns of nolonger eating rice and ice cream. Told me the hernia, dumping syndrome, gallbladder issues and the throwing up with daily sickness is a small price to pay for a overall successful weightloss and happiness and living. I won't lie, I tuned him out because by that point, he's not listening to me so everything else I say is pointless. They gave me a folder of their program which takes place for 3 months to just start the program. Classes mandatory to learn about the life change, culinary classes, other stuff that though was a good idea, they put in my FUCKING MEDICAL NOTES FOR A MANDATORY BYPASS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mt Aubern in Boston
Scheduled a appointment, filled out online paperwork and joined a online call from the head and eldest and one of the founders of that location from decades ago. He guides me asking simple and understandable questions, like do I smoke weed cause it induces hunger. He also told me that his practice, he believes in genes playing a major role in wieght gain.(HEAVELY IMPORTANT FOR LATER) he sent me a link to watch which is mandatory, but educate me about the three options, a touch of the history, the pros, the cons, the percents of success, fails, etc. Moving on, I on the phone meet up with a social worker who God forgive me, was unbearable. In short, she's the type that covers her assess throw paper work and it's her way or the high way. She tells me, condencendently that I have no choice but to go to her, everyone goes through her. She explains that while everything is being process, I'd need to wait 2 months til then. I waited two months aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnd nothing. I've called them and God only knows why, their phone lines were disconnected. I've asked my pcp to reach out, nothing. 6 months later, I get a call from the social worker telling me in order to continue the program, I'd have to sign a waiver to have my social worker to share everything we talk about and it now has to be all about my wieght. She Never mentioned anything about that prior and it caught me off guard. I've asked what happened to the office and she claims she has No idea what I'm talking about. I've shared my feelings about the sudden process and she was saying " that's not my problem, I have it RIGHT HERE, I have it Right here you agreed to the waiver of your social worker and the discussions. We've talked about it and I have it right here that you've agreed to the steps" sounding snug, forcefully and uptight. All I hear from that is My Ass is Covered af and my rules my rule, and when something inevitably happens, MY ASS IS SAAAAAFFFEEEE, oh and too bad 🤷‍♂️
After speaking to my social worker about my concerns, I've called the sw back and told her I'm no longer interested. She said, " I'll pass the message" click*
MT Auburn in Waltham MA ( all in MA btw)
I've made a appointment after not getting anywhere and started to gain, I've asked my Dr office and ask for a recommendation for a comfortable, pleasant experience, I was told this place is excellent and nice. They sent me to Mt Auburn in Waltham. Walked in, pleasant af receptionist, Godforbit you're ruining their lunch( I'll explain in a bit) weigh in, walked in office, explained bit of my story, she took notes and asked questions. She then told me that I should eat lentils, that her other clients complain about eating that and she really pushes them to eat that and lots of protien powder, this is one of the things I don't like being compared with others left and right. She also advised me that I stead of eating with a TV on, to eat while there's nothing on. Few more mins and that makes one appointment. My next appoint I was told, extragerated that I cannot be late, I HAVE TO BE HERE EARLY AND ON TIME. Got there with the seriousness and the demand of being on time, mf receptionist ARE AT LUNCH. I have nothing against them having their break, but don't fucking demand me come here early to an empty receptionist, empty waiting room and the same Dr who DEMANDED THAT I COME EARLY SAW ME FROM THE HALL WAY AND IGNORED ME AFTER MAKING EYE CONTACT. waited essentially 20 min after my appointment and got seen by her. She essentially told me that everything I've been doing is Wrong. I've told her I've been using chickpea pasta, she nodded her head and said "nice, you should try whole wheat pasta" I told her that I don't do well with wheat in general, she simply said that I need to eat wheat. She gave me an annaligy that destroyed me
The body is the bank and food is money
The more money the bank has, the happier the bank is. The bank loves to hav3 money in its account, however, when the bank starts loosing money ( body loosing weight) the bank starts to panic and is going to hold on to as much money (cal) as it can.
I've tried to tell her my methods and habits and I was told that it's all bad, seriously bad. She advise me to eat a tv dinner lean cuisine, and gave me a pamphlet of what I needed to do. To explain, some of the methods was
Chick pea pasta, eat it twice a month
A hand full of peanuts as a snack
Eating low fat foods
There was a rebuttle for Everything!!!
Cheakpea=Needs to be wheat
Hand ful of peanuts, once a day=TOO MUCH FAT
Low fat foods=Not consuming enough protien shakes
I was also shamed that my meds, the big one, Clonidine .4mg causes weight gain and try to con me into Not taking it. When I told my family and friends the story, they all get disgusted and angry for me. The place essentially shamed me by saying it's a cause as to no matter how much I try, it promotes weight gain. It scared me to the point of skipping and going through withdrawals
When we finished, she saw the sadness in my face and asked if I'm alright and after I said yes, she said remember, the bank
I've forgot to mentioned that the fear chats is saying I'm gonna have a heart attack
ALL my problems involve ny wieght, litterally nothing much. Hell, i had a phycologist demand that I don't drink soda, insinuate that all my issues are involve with my wieght, even though she had a soda right next to her. Btw I don't like soda or surgury drinks. My current PHY wants to check my vitals for a AH HAH type move, asking for cholesterol, blood sugar and thyroid. It's serverly harming me both physically and mentally. It's got me so defeated and loss, I've essentially said Fuck it. No Dr is gonna hear me, no one wants to deal with me unless they're getting a pay day from my insurance. I've been told also that I've for got to mentioned, the last clinic says that genes doesn't mean anything. HOW THE FUCK DOES SAME HOSPITALS, DIFFERENT CLINICS SAY AND DO DIFFERENT THINGS?????
I've been told basically that anything without weightloss is pointless, ppl that I know that got the gastric bypass, a "sister" who got it gets sickly monthly, hernia, gallbladder, literally, she goes the hospital every month for a serious issue. It happens so much, we've lost track on how much. On top of that, she gained all that back and more, aaaannd still going through alot physically because of it. Before that, she was abit big, yes, but she never had any health issues, it more was an image issue
Someone I was a neighbor had the bypass, died of a heart attack by the age of 36
Me personally, my bloodpressure is 125/90(was 141/100)
Blood glucose 5.7 (was 6.0)
Thyroids are normal
I know and we'll aware my weight is dangerously high, however idk Genetics is helping in ways, and the reason I say that because and sadly, my Godbrother who's 33, slim/fit, works out and whatnot has diabetes type 2. He wasn't born with it and was Never big, he prob weigh bout 170
Someone else I know who's less than half my weight has hbp that's in the 160s, even going for at times 170+, he moves around and eats accordingly.
Majority of Dr's saying that everything is temporary and im fucked once I get older, meanwhile I have family in their 50s, 80s and 90s that are heavy set and doing very well aside from just the scale.
I will say that None of us are immobile, moving around feels natural and aside from having asthma that can trigger from stress, everything else is great honestly. No knee pains, no joint pains, in ways, flexible, and no family health issues.
We do encourage each other from not eating junk food or eating out. We all talk about what's on the nutrition facts and try to stay away from high sat fat, carbs and sugar. It's helped us in many ways, however with what was told to me by the "professionals" I honest to God gave up.......I gave up, I'm sorry
I'm not giving up like I wanna eat like Its going out of style or eat all the wrong things, but weighing myself every 2 months, counting every cal in meals to the point I'm having panic attacks and high anxiety that shuts me down mentally and not feeling like I'm living for myself, it's draining and tiring some by alot. I'm tired of looking for medical help since I'm getting different answers, different experiences, but being told the same be slim, be happy. Sad thing is my current phycologist tried to sell me on that by saying, lying imho " I have a few patients that got the surgery and they feel more energized and happy*. The second I said that a few ppl that had that is 6 ft under he shut that shit down way quickly. Im not being heard, I'm not being listened to. Why fucking Bother???

I'm essentially giving up, I'm tired as fuck as being told and sold this promise bullshit of the surgerys and the methods that I am trying that it's pointless and effortless and regardless of who I am, genes or anything else, I'm going to be shackled by my wieght and I'm definently going to die, no if, no buts, nothing. I'm going to share my experiences and why I am comming to this decision.
I am and I am well, fully well aware of my situation, my chances and the risks, however, I do not like being fear mongled, lied to, discouraged and used as a fucking lab rat or a permanent source of money. I am 30m, 509 as of today. I suffer from PTSD, Depression, anxiety, S.A.D. I'm using a different acc from my original but I am gonna explain a bit of my story. My highest weight was 576. During that time, this was about 5 to 6 yrs ago, I started to develop my ptsd, Depression when I ran out of my meds and my doctors refused to refill, I hit a massive crisis moment. I've lost 6 months staying inside, gaining, my mind went everywhere, demons resurfaced and I was alone. Essentially my best friend (bro) was there and helped me regained some sense and eventually, my Dr decided to refill my meds and things started to get back on track for me. I started on my weightloss journey from there and made alot a process
On a better tl:Dr for my journey, changing my meds, watching shows and learning about nutrition, calories, vitimans and portions. Cut down on alot of foods, frozen, takeout, junk, and implemented a routine that got me down to 487.
I was hitting a pleateu and decided and accepted that further help would be needed, now here's where the bullshit
BMC (Boston Medical Center)
Me and my brother went to a appointment for possible gastric sleeve that I've heard about soo much from my 600 lb life. I was interested because from what I was told by the doctored, it takes out the majority of the stomach and the big part that releases the hunger hormone that makes some eat. Did a weigh in, sat down with the surgeon assistant and things went down hill from there. We was discussing the three surgeries, bypass, sleeve and band. The pros, the cons, risk, success rates, etc. I explain how I'd like the gastric sleeve. He looked at me and strongly advise the gastric bypass because
it's more successful, long term, permanent and in his words, actually work
I've explain my concern and my feelings against the bypass and not even finishing my words, he cut me off and said that I only wanted the sleeve so that I can still eat whatever I want and what's it. He went on to saying how some woman came with concerns of nolonger eating rice and ice cream. Told me the hernia, dumping syndrome, gallbladder issues and the throwing up with daily sickness is a small price to pay for a overall successful weightloss and happiness and living. I won't lie, I tuned him out because by that point, he's not listening to me so everything else I say is pointless. They gave me a folder of their program which takes place for 3 months to just start the program. Classes mandatory to learn about the life change, culinary classes, other stuff that though was a good idea, they put in my FUCKING MEDICAL NOTES FOR A MANDATORY BYPASS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mt Aubern in Boston
Scheduled a appointment, filled out online paperwork and joined a online call from the head and eldest and one of the founders of that location from decades ago. He guides me asking simple and understandable questions, like do I smoke weed cause it induces hunger. He also told me that his practice, he believes in genes playing a major role in wieght gain.(HEAVELY IMPORTANT FOR LATER) he sent me a link to watch which is mandatory, but educate me about the three options, a touch of the history, the pros, the cons, the percents of success, fails, etc. Moving on, I on the phone meet up with a social worker who God forgive me, was unbearable. In short, she's the type that covers her assess throw paper work and it's her way or the high way. She tells me, condencendently that I have no choice but to go to her, everyone goes through her. She explains that while everything is being process, I'd need to wait 2 months til then. I waited two months aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnd nothing. I've called them and God only knows why, their phone lines were disconnected. I've asked my pcp to reach out, nothing. 6 months later, I get a call from the social worker telling me in order to continue the program, I'd have to sign a waiver to have my social worker to share everything we talk about and it now has to be all about my wieght. She Never mentioned anything about that prior and it caught me off guard. I've asked what happened to the office and she claims she has No idea what I'm talking about. I've shared my feelings about the sudden process and she was saying " that's not my problem, I have it RIGHT HERE, I have it Right here you agreed to the waiver of your social worker and the discussions. We've talked about it and I have it right here that you've agreed to the steps" sounding snug, forcefully and uptight. All I hear from that is My Ass is Covered af and my rules my rule, and when something inevitably happens, MY ASS IS SAAAAAFFFEEEE, oh and too bad 🤷‍♂️
After speaking to my social worker about my concerns, I've called the sw back and told her I'm no longer interested. She said, " I'll pass the message" click*
MT Auburn in Waltham MA ( all in MA btw)
I've made a appointment after not getting anywhere and started to gain, I've asked my Dr office and ask for a recommendation for a comfortable, pleasant experience, I was told this place is excellent and nice. They sent me to Mt Auburn in Waltham. Walked in, pleasant af receptionist, Godforbit you're ruining their lunch( I'll explain in a bit) weigh in, walked in office, explained bit of my story, she took notes and asked questions. She then told me that I should eat lentils, that her other clients complain about eating that and she really pushes them to eat that and lots of protien powder, this is one of the things I don't like being compared with others left and right. She also advised me that I stead of eating with a TV on, to eat while there's nothing on. Few more mins and that makes one appointment. My next appoint I was told, extragerated that I cannot be late, I HAVE TO BE HERE EARLY AND ON TIME. Got there with the seriousness and the demand of being on time, mf receptionist ARE AT LUNCH. I have nothing against them having their break, but don't fucking demand me come here early to an empty receptionist, empty waiting room and the same Dr who DEMANDED THAT I COME EARLY SAW ME FROM THE HALL WAY AND IGNORED ME AFTER MAKING EYE CONTACT. waited essentially 20 min after my appointment and got seen by her. She essentially told me that everything I've been doing is Wrong. I've told her I've been using chickpea pasta, she nodded her head and said "nice, you should try whole wheat pasta" I told her that I don't do well with wheat in general, she simply said that I need to eat wheat. She gave me an annaligy that destroyed me
The body is the bank and food is money
The more money the bank has, the happier the bank is. The bank loves to hav3 money in its account, however, when the bank starts loosing money ( body loosing weight) the bank starts to panic and is going to hold on to as much money (cal) as it can.
I've tried to tell her my methods and habits and I was told that it's all bad, seriously bad. She advise me to eat a tv dinner lean cuisine, and gave me a pamphlet of what I needed to do. To explain, some of the methods was
Chick pea pasta, eat it twice a month
A hand full of peanuts as a snack
Eating low fat foods
There was a rebuttle for Everything!!!
Cheakpea=Needs to be wheat
Hand ful of peanuts, once a day=TOO MUCH FAT
Low fat foods=Not consuming enough protien shakes
I was also shamed that my meds, the big one, Clonidine .4mg causes weight gain and try to con me into Not taking it. When I told my family and friends the story, they all get disgusted and angry for me. The place essentially shamed me by saying it's a cause as to no matter how much I try, it promotes weight gain. It scared me to the point of skipping and going through withdrawals
When we finished, she saw the sadness in my face and asked if I'm alright and after I said yes, she said remember, the bank
I've forgot to mentioned that the fear chats is saying I'm gonna have a heart attack
ALL my problems involve ny wieght, litterally nothing much. Hell, i had a phycologist demand that I don't drink soda, insinuate that all my issues are involve with my wieght, even though she had a soda right next to her. Btw I don't like soda or surgury drinks. My current PHY wants to check my vitals for a AH HAH type move, asking for cholesterol, blood sugar and thyroid. It's serverly harming me both physically and mentally. It's got me so defeated and loss, I've essentially said Fuck it. No Dr is gonna hear me, no one wants to deal with me unless they're getting a pay day from my insurance. I've been told also that I've for got to mentioned, the last clinic says that genes doesn't mean anything. HOW THE FUCK DOES SAME HOSPITALS, DIFFERENT CLINICS SAY AND DO DIFFERENT THINGS?????
I've been told basically that anything without weightloss is pointless, ppl that I know that got the gastric bypass, a "sister" who got it gets sickly monthly, hernia, gallbladder, literally, she goes the hospital every month for a serious issue. It happens so much, we've lost track on how much. On top of that, she gained all that back and more, aaaannd still going through alot physically because of it. Before that, she was abit big, yes, but she never had any health issues, it more was an image issue
Someone I was a neighbor had the bypass, died of a heart attack by the age of 36
Me personally, my bloodpressure is 125/90(was 141/100)
Blood glucose 5.7 (was 6.0)
Thyroids are normal
I know and we'll aware my weight is dangerously high, however idk Genetics is helping in ways, and the reason I say that because and sadly, my Godbrother who's 33, slim/fit, works out and whatnot has diabetes type 2. He wasn't born with it and was Never big, he prob weigh bout 170
Someone else I know who's less than half my weight has hbp that's in the 160s, even going for at times 170+, he moves around and eats accordingly.
Majority of Dr's saying that everything is temporary and im fucked once I get older, meanwhile I have family in their 50s, 80s and 90s that are heavy set and doing very well aside from just the scale.
I will say that None of us are immobile, moving around feels natural and aside from having asthma that can trigger from stress, everything else is great honestly. No knee pains, no joint pains, in ways, flexible, and no family health issues.
We do encourage each other from not eating junk food or eating out. We all talk about what's on the nutrition facts and try to stay away from high sat fat, carbs and sugar. It's helped us in many ways, however with what was told to me by the "professionals" I honest to God gave up.......I gave up, I'm sorry
I'm not giving up like I wanna eat like Its going out of style or eat all the wrong things, but weighing myself every 2 months, counting every cal in meals to the point I'm having panic attacks and high anxiety that shuts me down mentally and not feeling like I'm living for myself, it's draining and tiring some by alot. I'm tired of looking for medical help since I'm getting different answers, different experiences, but being told the same be slim, be happy. Sad thing is my current phycologist tried to sell me on that by saying, lying imho " I have a few patients that got the surgery and they feel more energized and happy*. The second I said that a few ppl that had that is 6 ft under he shut that shit down way quickly. Im not being heard, I'm not being listened to. Why fucking Bother???

I'm essentially giving up, I'm tired as fuck as being told and sold this promise bullshit of the surgerys and the methods that I am trying that it's pointless and effortless and regardless of who I am, genes or anything else, I'm going to be shackled by my wieght and I'm definently going to die, no if, no buts, nothing. I'm going to share my experiences and why I am comming to this decision.
I am and I am well, fully well aware of my situation, my chances and the risks, however, I do not like being fear mongled, lied to, discouraged and used as a fucking lab rat or a permanent source of money. I am 30m, 509 as of today. I suffer from PTSD, Depression, anxiety, S.A.D. I'm using a different acc from my original but I am gonna explain a bit of my story. My highest weight was 576. During that time, this was about 5 to 6 yrs ago, I started to develop my ptsd, Depression when I ran out of my meds and my doctors refused to refill, I hit a massive crisis moment. I've lost 6 months staying inside, gaining, my mind went everywhere, demons resurfaced and I was alone. Essentially my best friend (bro) was there and helped me regained some sense and eventually, my Dr decided to refill my meds and things started to get back on track for me. I started on my weightloss journey from there and made alot a process
On a better tl:Dr for my journey, changing my meds, watching shows and learning about nutrition, calories, vitimans and portions. Cut down on alot of foods, frozen, takeout, junk, and implemented a routine that got me down to 487.
I was hitting a pleateu and decided and accepted that further help would be needed, now here's where the bullshit
BMC (Boston Medical Center)
Me and my brother went to a appointment for possible gastric sleeve that I've heard about soo much from my 600 lb life. I was interested because from what I was told by the doctored, it takes out the majority of the stomach and the big part that releases the hunger hormone that makes some eat. Did a weigh in, sat down with the surgeon assistant and things went down hill from there. We was discussing the three surgeries, bypass, sleeve and band. The pros, the cons, risk, success rates, etc. I explain how I'd like the gastric sleeve. He looked at me and strongly advise the gastric bypass because
it's more successful, long term, permanent and in his words, actually work
I've explain my concern and my feelings against the bypass and not even finishing my words, he cut me off and said that I only wanted the sleeve so that I can still eat whatever I want and what's it. He went on to saying how some woman came with concerns of nolonger eating rice and ice cream. Told me the hernia, dumping syndrome, gallbladder issues and the throwing up with daily sickness is a small price to pay for a overall successful weightloss and happiness and living. I won't lie, I tuned him out because by that point, he's not listening to me so everything else I say is pointless. They gave me a folder of their program which takes place for 3 months to just start the program. Classes mandatory to learn about the life change, culinary classes, other stuff that though was a good idea, they put in my FUCKING MEDICAL NOTES FOR A MANDATORY BYPASS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mt Aubern in Boston
Scheduled a appointment, filled out online paperwork and joined a online call from the head and eldest and one of the founders of that location from decades ago. He guides me asking simple and understandable questions, like do I smoke weed cause it induces hunger. He also told me that his practice, he believes in genes playing a major role in wieght gain.(HEAVELY IMPORTANT FOR LATER) he sent me a link to watch which is mandatory, but educate me about the three options, a touch of the history, the pros, the cons, the percents of success, fails, etc. Moving on, I on the phone meet up with a social worker who God forgive me, was unbearable. In short, she's the type that covers her assess throw paper work and it's her way or the high way. She tells me, condencendently that I have no choice but to go to her, everyone goes through her. She explains that while everything is being process, I'd need to wait 2 months til then. I waited two months aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnd nothing. I've called them and God only knows why, their phone lines were disconnected. I've asked my pcp to reach out, nothing. 6 months later, I get a call from the social worker telling me in order to continue the program, I'd have to sign a waiver to have my social worker to share everything we talk about and it now has to be all about my wieght. She Never mentioned anything about that prior and it caught me off guard. I've asked what happened to the office and she claims she has No idea what I'm talking about. I've shared my feelings about the sudden process and she was saying " that's not my problem, I have it RIGHT HERE, I have it Right here you agreed to the waiver of your social worker and the discussions. We've talked about it and I have it right here that you've agreed to the steps" sounding snug, forcefully and uptight. All I hear from that is My Ass is Covered af and my rules my rule, and when something inevitably happens, MY ASS IS SAAAAAFFFEEEE, oh and too bad 🤷‍♂️
After speaking to my social worker about my concerns, I've called the sw back and told her I'm no longer interested. She said, " I'll pass the message" click*
MT Auburn in Waltham MA ( all in MA btw)
I've made a appointment after not getting anywhere and started to gain, I've asked my Dr office and ask for a recommendation for a comfortable, pleasant experience, I was told this place is excellent and nice. They sent me to Mt Auburn in Waltham. Walked in, pleasant af receptionist, Godforbit you're ruining their lunch( I'll explain in a bit) weigh in, walked in office, explained bit of my story, she took notes and asked questions. She then told me that I should eat lentils, that her other clients complain about eating that and she really pushes them to eat that and lots of protien powder, this is one of the things I don't like being compared with others left and right. She also advised me that I stead of eating with a TV on, to eat while there's nothing on. Few more mins and that makes one appointment. My next appoint I was told, extragerated that I cannot be late, I HAVE TO BE HERE EARLY AND ON TIME. Got there with the seriousness and the demand of being on time, mf receptionist ARE AT LUNCH. I have nothing against them having their break, but don't fucking demand me come here early to an empty receptionist, empty waiting room and the same Dr who DEMANDED THAT I COME EARLY SAW ME FROM THE HALL WAY AND IGNORED ME AFTER MAKING EYE CONTACT. waited essentially 20 min after my appointment and got seen by her. She essentially told me that everything I've been doing is Wrong. I've told her I've been using chickpea pasta, she nodded her head and said "nice, you should try whole wheat pasta" I told her that I don't do well with wheat in general, she simply said that I need to eat wheat. She gave me an annaligy that destroyed me
The body is the bank and food is money
The more money the bank has, the happier the bank is. The bank loves to hav3 money in its account, however, when the bank starts loosing money ( body loosing weight) the bank starts to panic and is going to hold on to as much money (cal) as it can.
I've tried to tell her my methods and habits and I was told that it's all bad, seriously bad. She advise me to eat a tv dinner lean cuisine, and gave me a pamphlet of what I needed to do. To explain, some of the methods was
Chick pea pasta, eat it twice a month
A hand full of peanuts as a snack
Eating low fat foods
There was a rebuttle for Everything!!!
Cheakpea=Needs to be wheat
Hand ful of peanuts, once a day=TOO MUCH FAT
Low fat foods=Not consuming enough protien shakes
I was also shamed that my meds, the big one, Clonidine .4mg causes weight gain and try to con me into Not taking it. When I told my family and friends the story, they all get disgusted and angry for me. The place essentially shamed me by saying it's a cause as to no matter how much I try, it promotes weight gain. It scared me to the point of skipping and going through withdrawals
When we finished, she saw the sadness in my face and asked if I'm alright and after I said yes, she said remember, the bank
I've forgot to mentioned that the fear chats is saying I'm gonna have a heart attack
ALL my problems involve ny wieght, litterally nothing much. Hell, i had a phycologist demand that I don't drink soda, insinuate that all my issues are involve with my wieght, even though she had a soda right next to her. Btw I don't like soda or surgury drinks. My current PHY wants to check my vitals for a AH HAH type move, asking for cholesterol, blood sugar and thyroid. It's serverly harming me both physically and mentally. It's got me so defeated and loss, I've essentially said Fuck it. No Dr is gonna hear me, no one wants to deal with me unless they're getting a pay day from my insurance. I've been told also that I've for got to mentioned, the last clinic says that genes doesn't mean anything. HOW THE FUCK DOES SAME HOSPITALS, DIFFERENT CLINICS SAY AND DO DIFFERENT THINGS?????
I've been told basically that anything without weightloss is pointless, ppl that I know that got the gastric bypass, a "sister" who got it gets sickly monthly, hernia, gallbladder, literally, she goes the hospital every month for a serious issue. It happens so much, we've lost track on how much. On top of that, she gained all that back and more, aaaannd still going through alot physically because of it. Before that, she was abit big, yes, but she never had any health issues, it more was an image issue
Someone I was a neighbor had the bypass, died of a heart attack by the age of 36
Me personally, my bloodpressure is 125/90(was 141/100)
Blood glucose 5.7 (was 6.0)
Thyroids are normal
I know and we'll aware my weight is dangerously high, however idk Genetics is helping in ways, and the reason I say that because and sadly, my Godbrother who's 33, slim/fit, works out and whatnot has diabetes type 2. He wasn't born with it and was Never big, he prob weigh bout 170
Someone else I know who's less than half my weight has hbp that's in the 160s, even going for at times 170+, he moves around and eats accordingly.
Majority of Dr's saying that everything is temporary and im fucked once I get older, meanwhile I have family in their 50s, 80s and 90s that are heavy set and doing very well aside from just the scale.
I will say that None of us are immobile, moving around feels natural and aside from having asthma that can trigger from stress, everything else is great honestly. No knee pains, no joint pains, in ways, flexible, and no family health issues.
We do encourage each other from not eating junk food or eating out. We all talk about what's on the nutrition facts and try to stay away from high sat fat, carbs and sugar. It's helped us in many ways, however with what was told to me by the "professionals" I honest to God gave up.......I gave up, I'm sorry
I'm not giving up like I wanna eat like Its going out of style or eat all the wrong things, but weighing myself every 2 months, counting every cal in meals to the point I'm having panic attacks and high anxiety that shuts me down mentally and not feeling like I'm living for myself, it's draining and tiring some by alot. I'm tired of looking for medical help since I'm getting different answers, different experiences, but being told the same be slim, be happy. Sad thing is my current phycologist tried to sell me on that by saying, lying imho " I have a few patients that got the surgery and they feel more energized and happy*. The second I said that a few ppl that had that is 6 ft under he shut that shit down way quickly. Im not being heard, I'm not being listened to. Why fucking Bother???

I'm essentially giving up, I'm tired as fuck as being told and sold this promise bullshit of the surgerys and the methods that I am trying that it's pointless and effortless and regardless of who I am, genes or anything else, I'm going to be shackled by my wieght and I'm definently going to die, no if, no buts, nothing. I'm going to share my experiences and why I am comming to this decision.
I am and I am well, fully well aware of my situation, my chances and the risks, however, I do not like being fear mongled, lied to, discouraged and used as a fucking lab rat or a permanent source of money. I am 30m, 509 as of today. I suffer from PTSD, Depression, anxiety, S.A.D. I'm using a different acc from my original but I am gonna explain a bit of my story. My highest weight was 576. During that time, this was about 5 to 6 yrs ago, I started to develop my ptsd, Depression when I ran out of my meds and my doctors refused to refill, I hit a massive crisis moment. I've lost 6 months staying inside, gaining, my mind went everywhere, demons resurfaced and I was alone. Essentially my best friend (bro) was there and helped me regained some sense and eventually, my Dr decided to refill my meds and things started to get back on track for me. I started on my weightloss journey from there and made alot a process
On a better tl:Dr for my journey, changing my meds, watching shows and learning about nutrition, calories, vitimans and portions. Cut down on alot of foods, frozen, takeout, junk, and implemented a routine that got me down to 487.
I was hitting a pleateu and decided and accepted that further help would be needed, now here's where the bullshit
BMC (Boston Medical Center)
Me and my brother went to a appointment for possible gastric sleeve that I've heard about soo much from my 600 lb life. I was interested because from what I was told by the doctored, it takes out the majority of the stomach and the big part that releases the hunger hormone that makes some eat. Did a weigh in, sat down with the surgeon assistant and things went down hill from there. We was discussing the three surgeries, bypass, sleeve and band. The pros, the cons, risk, success rates, etc. I explain how I'd like the gastric sleeve. He looked at me and strongly advise the gastric bypass because
it's more successful, long term, permanent and in his words, actually work
I've explain my concern and my feelings against the bypass and not even finishing my words, he cut me off and said that I only wanted the sleeve so that I can still eat whatever I want and what's it. He went on to saying how some woman came with concerns of nolonger eating rice and ice cream. Told me the hernia, dumping syndrome, gallbladder issues and the throwing up with daily sickness is a small price to pay for a overall successful weightloss and happiness and living. I won't lie, I tuned him out because by that point, he's not listening to me so everything else I say is pointless. They gave me a folder of their program which takes place for 3 months to just start the program. Classes mandatory to learn about the life change, culinary classes, other stuff that though was a good idea, they put in my FUCKING MEDICAL NOTES FOR A MANDATORY BYPASS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mt Aubern in Boston
Scheduled a appointment, filled out online paperwork and joined a online call from the head and eldest and one of the founders of that location from decades ago. He guides me asking simple and understandable questions, like do I smoke weed cause it induces hunger. He also told me that his practice, he believes in genes playing a major role in wieght gain.(HEAVELY IMPORTANT FOR LATER) he sent me a link to watch which is mandatory, but educate me about the three options, a touch of the history, the pros, the cons, the percents of success, fails, etc. Moving on, I on the phone meet up with a social worker who God forgive me, was unbearable. In short, she's the type that covers her assess throw paper work and it's her way or the high way. She tells me, condencendently that I have no choice but to go to her, everyone goes through her. She explains that while everything is being process, I'd need to wait 2 months til then. I waited two months aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnd nothing. I've called them and God only knows why, their phone lines were disconnected. I've asked my pcp to reach out, nothing. 6 months later, I get a call from the social worker telling me in order to continue the program, I'd have to sign a waiver to have my social worker to share everything we talk about and it now has to be all about my wieght. She Never mentioned anything about that prior and it caught me off guard. I've asked what happened to the office and she claims she has No idea what I'm talking about. I've shared my feelings about the sudden process and she was saying " that's not my problem, I have it RIGHT HERE, I have it Right here you agreed to the waiver of your social worker and the discussions. We've talked about it and I have it right here that you've agreed to the steps" sounding snug, forcefully and uptight. All I hear from that is My Ass is Covered af and my rules my rule, and when something inevitably happens, MY ASS IS SAAAAAFFFEEEE, oh and too bad 🤷‍♂️
After speaking to my social worker about my concerns, I've called the sw back and told her I'm no longer interested. She said, " I'll pass the message" click*
MT Auburn in Waltham MA ( all in MA btw)
I've made a appointment after not getting anywhere and started to gain, I've asked my Dr office and ask for a recommendation for a comfortable, pleasant experience, I was told this place is excellent and nice. They sent me to Mt Auburn in Waltham. Walked in, pleasant af receptionist, Godforbit you're ruining their lunch( I'll explain in a bit) weigh in, walked in office, explained bit of my story, she took notes and asked questions. She then told me that I should eat lentils, that her other clients complain about eating that and she really pushes them to eat that and lots of protien powder, this is one of the things I don't like being compared with others left and right. She also advised me that I stead of eating with a TV on, to eat while there's nothing on. Few more mins and that makes one appointment. My next appoint I was told, extragerated that I cannot be late, I HAVE TO BE HERE EARLY AND ON TIME. Got there with the seriousness and the demand of being on time, mf receptionist ARE AT LUNCH. I have nothing against them having their break, but don't fucking demand me come here early to an empty receptionist, empty waiting room and the same Dr who DEMANDED THAT I COME EARLY SAW ME FROM THE HALL WAY AND IGNORED ME AFTER MAKING EYE CONTACT. waited essentially 20 min after my appointment and got seen by her. She essentially told me that everything I've been doing is Wrong. I've told her I've been using chickpea pasta, she nodded her head and said "nice, you should try whole wheat pasta" I told her that I don't do well with wheat in general, she simply said that I need to eat wheat. She gave me an annaligy that destroyed me
The body is the bank and food is money
The more money the bank has, the happier the bank is. The bank loves to hav3 money in its account, however, when the bank starts loosing money ( body loosing weight) the bank starts to panic and is going to hold on to as much money (cal) as it can.
I've tried to tell her my methods and habits and I was told that it's all bad, seriously bad. She advise me to eat a tv dinner lean cuisine, and gave me a pamphlet of what I needed to do. To explain, some of the methods was
Chick pea pasta, eat it twice a month
A hand full of peanuts as a snack
Eating low fat foods
There was a rebuttle for Everything!!!
Cheakpea=Needs to be wheat
Hand ful of peanuts, once a day=TOO MUCH FAT
Low fat foods=Not consuming enough protien shakes
I was also shamed that my meds, the big one, Clonidine .4mg causes weight gain and try to con me into Not taking it. When I told my family and friends the story, they all get disgusted and angry for me. The place essentially shamed me by saying it's a cause as to no matter how much I try, it promotes weight gain. It scared me to the point of skipping and going through withdrawals
When we finished, she saw the sadness in my face and asked if I'm alright and after I said yes, she said remember, the bank
I've forgot to mentioned that the fear chats is saying I'm gonna have a heart attack
ALL my problems involve ny wieght, litterally nothing much. Hell, i had a phycologist demand that I don't drink soda, insinuate that all my issues are involve with my wieght, even though she had a soda right next to her. Btw I don't like soda or surgury drinks. My current PHY wants to check my vitals for a AH HAH type move, asking for cholesterol, blood sugar and thyroid. It's serverly harming me both physically and mentally. It's got me so defeated and loss, I've essentially said Fuck it. No Dr is gonna hear me, no one wants to deal with me unless they're getting a pay day from my insurance. I've been told also that I've for got to mentioned, the last clinic says that genes doesn't mean anything. HOW THE FUCK DOES SAME HOSPITALS, DIFFERENT CLINICS SAY AND DO DIFFERENT THINGS?????
I've been told basically that anything without weightloss is pointless, ppl that I know that got the gastric bypass, a "sister" who got it gets sickly monthly, hernia, gallbladder, literally, she goes the hospital every month for a serious issue. It happens so much, we've lost track on how much. On top of that, she gained all that back and more, aaaannd still going through alot physically because of it. Before that, she was abit big, yes, but she never had any health issues, it more was an image issue
Someone I was a neighbor had the bypass, died of a heart attack by the age of 36
Me personally, my bloodpressure is 125/90(was 141/100)
Blood glucose 5.7 (was 6.0)
Thyroids are normal
I know and we'll aware my weight is dangerously high, however idk Genetics is helping in ways, and the reason I say that because and sadly, my Godbrother who's 33, slim/fit, works out and whatnot has diabetes type 2. He wasn't born with it and was Never big, he prob weigh bout 170
Someone else I know who's less than half my weight has hbp that's in the 160s, even going for at times 170+, he moves around and eats accordingly.
Majority of Dr's saying that everything is temporary and im fucked once I get older, meanwhile I have family in their 50s, 80s and 90s that are heavy set and doing very well aside from just the scale.
I will say that None of us are immobile, moving around feels natural and aside from having asthma that can trigger from stress, everything else is great honestly. No knee pains, no joint pains, in ways, flexible, and no family health issues.
We do encourage each other from not eating junk food or eating out. We all talk about what's on the nutrition facts and try to stay away from high sat fat, carbs and sugar. It's helped us in many ways, however with what was told to me by the "professionals" I honest to God gave up.......I gave up, I'm sorry
I'm not giving up like I wanna eat like Its going out of style or eat all the wrong things, but weighing myself every 2 months, counting every cal in meals to the point I'm having panic attacks and high anxiety that shuts me down mentally and not feeling like I'm living for myself, it's draining and tiring some by alot. I'm tired of looking for medical help since I'm getting different answers, different experiences, but being told the same be slim, be happy. Sad thing is my current phycologist tried to sell me on that by saying, lying imho " I have a few patients that got the surgery and they feel more energized and happy*. The second I said that a few ppl that had that is 6 ft under he shut that shit down way quickly. Im not being heard, I'm not being listened to. Why fucking Bother???

I'm essentially giving up, I'm tired as fuck as being told and sold this promise bullshit of the surgerys and the methods that I am trying that it's pointless and effortless and regardless of who I am, genes or anything else, I'm going to be shackled by my wieght and I'm definently going to die, no if, no buts, nothing. I'm going to share my experiences and why I am comming to this decision.
I am and I am well, fully well aware of my situation, my chances and the risks, however, I do not like being fear mongled, lied to, discouraged and used as a fucking lab rat or a permanent source of money. I am 30m, 509 as of today. I suffer from PTSD, Depression, anxiety, S.A.D. I'm using a different acc from my original but I am gonna explain a bit of my story. My highest weight was 576. During that time, this was about 5 to 6 yrs ago, I started to develop my ptsd, Depression when I ran out of my meds and my doctors refused to refill, I hit a massive crisis moment. I've lost 6 months staying inside, gaining, my mind went everywhere, demons resurfaced and I was alone. Essentially my best friend (bro) was there and helped me regained some sense and eventually, my Dr decided to refill my meds and things started to get back on track for me. I started on my weightloss journey from there and made alot a process
On a better tl:Dr for my journey, changing my meds, watching shows and learning about nutrition, calories, vitimans and portions. Cut down on alot of foods, frozen, takeout, junk, and implemented a routine that got me down to 487.
I was hitting a pleateu and decided and accepted that further help would be needed, now here's where the bullshit
BMC (Boston Medical Center)
Me and my brother went to a appointment for possible gastric sleeve that I've heard about soo much from my 600 lb life. I was interested because from what I was told by the doctored, it takes out the majority of the stomach and the big part that releases the hunger hormone that makes some eat. Did a weigh in, sat down with the surgeon assistant and things went down hill from there. We was discussing the three surgeries, bypass, sleeve and band. The pros, the cons, risk, success rates, etc. I explain how I'd like the gastric sleeve. He looked at me and strongly advise the gastric bypass because
it's more successful, long term, permanent and in his words, actually work
I've explain my concern and my feelings against the bypass and not even finishing my words, he cut me off and said that I only wanted the sleeve so that I can still eat whatever I want and what's it. He went on to saying how some woman came with concerns of nolonger eating rice and ice cream. Told me the hernia, dumping syndrome, gallbladder issues and the throwing up with daily sickness is a small price to pay for a overall successful weightloss and happiness and living. I won't lie, I tuned him out because by that point, he's not listening to me so everything else I say is pointless. They gave me a folder of their program which takes place for 3 months to just start the program. Classes mandatory to learn about the life change, culinary classes, other stuff that though was a good idea, they put in my FUCKING MEDICAL NOTES FOR A MANDATORY BYPASS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mt Aubern in Boston
Scheduled a appointment, filled out online paperwork and joined a online call from the head and eldest and one of the founders of that location from decades ago. He guides me asking simple and understandable questions, like do I smoke weed cause it induces hunger. He also told me that his practice, he believes in genes playing a major role in wieght gain.(HEAVELY IMPORTANT FOR LATER) he sent me a link to watch which is mandatory, but educate me about the three options, a touch of the history, the pros, the cons, the percents of success, fails, etc. Moving on, I on the phone meet up with a social worker who God forgive me, was unbearable. In short, she's the type that covers her assess throw paper work and it's her way or the high way. She tells me, condencendently that I have no choice but to go to her, everyone goes through her. She explains that while everything is being process, I'd need to wait 2 months til then. I waited two months aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnd nothing. I've called them and God only knows why, their phone lines were disconnected. I've asked my pcp to reach out, nothing. 6 months later, I get a call from the social worker telling me in order to continue the program, I'd have to sign a waiver to have my social worker to share everything we talk about and it now has to be all about my wieght. She Never mentioned anything about that prior and it caught me off guard. I've asked what happened to the office and she claims she has No idea what I'm talking about. I've shared my feelings about the sudden process and she was saying " that's not my problem, I have it RIGHT HERE, I have it Right here you agreed to the waiver of your social worker and the discussions. We've talked about it and I have it right here that you've agreed to the steps" sounding snug, forcefully and uptight. All I hear from that is My Ass is Covered af and my rules my rule, and when something inevitably happens, MY ASS IS SAAAAAFFFEEEE, oh and too bad 🤷‍♂️
After speaking to my social worker about my concerns, I've called the sw back and told her I'm no longer interested. She said, " I'll pass the message" click*
MT Auburn in Waltham MA ( all in MA btw)
I've made a appointment after not getting anywhere and started to gain, I've asked my Dr office and ask for a recommendation for a comfortable, pleasant experience, I was told this place is excellent and nice. They sent me to Mt Auburn in Waltham. Walked in, pleasant af receptionist, Godforbit you're ruining their lunch( I'll explain in a bit) weigh in, walked in office, explained bit of my story, she took notes and asked questions. She then told me that I should eat lentils, that her other clients complain about eating that and she really pushes them to eat that and lots of protien powder, this is one of the things I don't like being compared with others left and right. She also advised me that I stead of eating with a TV on, to eat while there's nothing on. Few more mins and that makes one appointment. My next appoint I was told, extragerated that I cannot be late, I HAVE TO BE HERE EARLY AND ON TIME. Got there with the seriousness and the demand of being on time, mf receptionist ARE AT LUNCH. I have nothing against them having their break, but don't fucking demand me come here early to an empty receptionist, empty waiting room and the same Dr who DEMANDED THAT I COME EARLY SAW ME FROM THE HALL WAY AND IGNORED ME AFTER MAKING EYE CONTACT. waited essentially 20 min after my appointment and got seen by her. She essentially told me that everything I've been doing is Wrong. I've told her I've been using chickpea pasta, she nodded her head and said "nice, you should try whole wheat pasta" I told her that I don't do well with wheat in general, she simply said that I need to eat wheat. She gave me an annaligy that destroyed me
The body is the bank and food is money
The more money the bank has, the happier the bank is. The bank loves to hav3 money in its account, however, when the bank starts loosing money ( body loosing weight) the bank starts to panic and is going to hold on to as much money (cal) as it can.
I've tried to tell her my methods and habits and I was told that it's all bad, seriously bad. She advise me to eat a tv dinner lean cuisine, and gave me a pamphlet of what I needed to do. To explain, some of the methods was
Chick pea pasta, eat it twice a month
A hand full of peanuts as a snack
Eating low fat foods
There was a rebuttle for Everything!!!
Cheakpea=Needs to be wheat
Hand ful of peanuts, once a day=TOO MUCH FAT
Low fat foods=Not consuming enough protien shakes
I was also shamed that my meds, the big one, Clonidine .4mg causes weight gain and try to con me into Not taking it. When I told my family and friends the story, they all get disgusted and angry for me. The place essentially shamed me by saying it's a cause as to no matter how much I try, it promotes weight gain. It scared me to the point of skipping and going through withdrawals
When we finished, she saw the sadness in my face and asked if I'm alright and after I said yes, she said remember, the bank
I've forgot to mentioned that the fear chats is saying I'm gonna have a heart attack
ALL my problems involve ny wieght, litterally nothing much. Hell, i had a phycologist demand that I don't drink soda, insinuate that all my issues are involve with my wieght, even though she had a soda right next to her. Btw I don't like soda or surgury drinks. My current PHY wants to check my vitals for a AH HAH type move, asking for cholesterol, blood sugar and thyroid. It's serverly harming me both physically and mentally. It's got me so defeated and loss, I've essentially said Fuck it. No Dr is gonna hear me, no one wants to deal with me unless they're getting a pay day from my insurance. I've been told also that I've for got to mentioned, the last clinic says that genes doesn't mean anything. HOW THE FUCK DOES SAME HOSPITALS, DIFFERENT CLINICS SAY AND DO DIFFERENT THINGS?????
I've been told basically that anything without weightloss is pointless, ppl that I know that got the gastric bypass, a "sister" who got it gets sickly monthly, hernia, gallbladder, literally, she goes the hospital every month for a serious issue. It happens so much, we've lost track on how much. On top of that, she gained all that back and more, aaaannd still going through alot physically because of it. Before that, she was abit big, yes, but she never had any health issues, it more was an image issue
Someone I was a neighbor had the bypass, died of a heart attack by the age of 36
Me personally, my bloodpressure is 125/90(was 141/100)
Blood glucose 5.7 (was 6.0)
Thyroids are normal
I know and we'll aware my weight is dangerously high, however idk Genetics is helping in ways, and the reason I say that because and sadly, my Godbrother who's 33, slim/fit, works out and whatnot has diabetes type 2. He wasn't born with it and was Never big, he prob weigh bout 170
Someone else I know who's less than half my weight has hbp that's in the 160s, even going for at times 170+, he moves around and eats accordingly.
Majority of Dr's saying that everything is temporary and im fucked once I get older, meanwhile I have family in their 50s, 80s and 90s that are heavy set and doing very well aside from just the scale.
I will say that None of us are immobile, moving around feels natural and aside from having asthma that can trigger from stress, everything else is great honestly. No knee pains, no joint pains, in ways, flexible, and no family health issues.
We do encourage each other from not eating junk food or eating out. We all talk about what's on the nutrition facts and try to stay away from high sat fat, carbs and sugar. It's helped us in many ways, however with what was told to me by the "professionals" I honest to God gave up.......I gave up, I'm sorry
I'm not giving up like I wanna eat like Its going out of style or eat all the wrong things, but weighing myself every 2 months, counting every cal in meals to the point I'm having panic attacks and high anxiety that shuts me down mentally and not feeling like I'm living for myself, it's draining and tiring some by alot. I'm tired of looking for medical help since I'm getting different answers, different experiences, but being told the same be slim, be happy. Sad thing is my current phycologist tried to sell me on that by saying, lying imho " I have a few patients that got the surgery and they feel more energized and happy*. The second I said that a few ppl that had that is 6 ft under he shut that shit down way quickly. Im not being heard, I'm not being listened to. Why fucking Bother???

The food boredom can be a real mental struggle, especially for us foodies. I do love to be creative with food, so I wanted to share what's helping me so far. I'm just starting day 4 of recovery and yes, everything is painful to eat. But, I always start with ice chips or something cold to numb it a little, then cry and force it down because your body needs nutrition to heal faster and keep pain meds down. And yes, it takes 1 - 2 hours to eat a meal.
Also, I cook some of these meals because moving around helps me feel better but my husband also makes meals for me. You will need help.
Limits: nothing acidic or spicy, no dairy (other than butter) which causes excess mucus. Don't rely on only sweet foods, you will be more nauseous and bored. Start with cold, smooth, bland foods without even salt which can burn at first. Work your way up.
Method: Always start your meal with something icy to numb the area. Ice chips work well, but I also like a little oatmilk icecream or italian ice.
Organic Baby Food: get many varieties, but especially ones with veggies and proteins to round out your diet. Prune and sweet potato have been yummy. Chicken and veggie is a meh, but very healthy.
Favorite Snack: Iced Oatmilk, full fat, to provide fat, protein, and fiber. Oat is very soothing for the skin and inflammation, too. I use the oatmilk in as many recipes as I can. Nice and filling.
Smoothie: Frozen banana, full fat oatmilk, cocoa powder, and peanut butter.
Eggs: Very soft scrambled eggs (cook them on very low with oil and stir constantly so very few curds form but it's more like a pudding texture.)
Milk Toast: Slightly warm a wide bowl of oatmilk and butter (add salt and pepper if you are able, fresh ground nutmeg if you're really extra like me). Toast plain soft white bread and let it soak in the milk and enjoy. Sounds weird, but it's basically like biscuits and gravy if you are familiar with that.
Soup & Bread: Get a low sodium chicken noodle soup OR just boil low sodium bone broth with tiny pasta (I used stars). Before you add pasta, feel free to add and over boil minced veggies like onion, carrot, and celery. I also added bayleaf, again, because I'm extra). Let the soup cool to room temp and break up pieces of soft white bread into the broth and eat. You likely won't be able to eat the noodles at first. I'm still struggling with them, but the bread is easy and filling.
Cream of Wheat: This was included in my first several meals. Made it plain and very soupy with water, cooled to room temp. Not exciting but very filling. Now after cooking, I add sugar, a pinch of salt, cocoa powder, and thin it out with oatmilk.
Instant Mashed Potatoes: thin them out with lots of bone broth to make them soupy. You can also mix up a brown gravy pack and add for more flavor. Use plain potatoes, most flavors have added dairy.
Wishing you all the best. Feel free to drop your meal ideas here!

Finding this subreddit has been so therapeutic and validating for me. I’m 26, married to the love of my life (32M) with the most amazing 5yo stepdaughter.
Reading all of your stories has inspired me to sit down and type out my own. I must warn you, there are times when I am the villain. Buckle up. This is a small novel.
If we start at the very beginning, my DH began dating HCBM (33) when they were very young in their early 20s. Shortly into their relationship it became clear to DH that she was struggling with very severe alcoholism. I cannot even begin to write out all of the stories I have heard from DH about her alcoholism. He was very young, didn’t have a positive model for a healthy relationship as a child. He believed he could help HCBM. They were extremely on and off together for almost 7 years. Every time he’d try to break up with her she would weasel her way back in. She would go as far as showing up at his family events because she had his family wrapped around her finger (don’t worry, that changed. Read on.) She almost drank herself to death several times. The police in her town know her by name and recognize her car because her family has had to call in for welfare checks so many times. She’s had bits where she’s gone missing for several hours. Been listed as a missing person. Had the police ping her phone. I’ve read the police reports myself.
Where do I even begin with her family? Her parents are extremely proud. They own two businesses in their small town. They’re the kind of people who are very obsessed with image and making people think they’re wealthy. HCBM started drinking when she was 16. Her parents would deal with her problem by sweeping it under the rug and hiding it. They cared more about their pride than getting her the help she needed. When they were together, my DH was often the one who would drive her to AA meetings. HCBM didn’t like AA because she felt she was above the other people there. Her family now despises my DH, and weaves a narrative that she drank because of her toxic relationship with him. Though her drinking problems existed long before and after their relationship.
I’ll share a few stores in particular with the goal of establishing the absolute delusion that HCBM feeds to anyone who will listen about my DH.
There was one evening where they were at my DH’s uncle’s house in the city. The thing about HCBM is that you never saw her drink until she was drunk. She’d sneak in a bathroom or what have you to drink. DH and HCBM got into some kind of argument and she ran off into the city late at night. DH spent several hours driving around the city searching for her until he finally found her in a bar, making out with a random guy. He said “you can take her home tonight” and left. Several hours later in the wee hours of the morning, HCBM stumbled back to the uncle’s house, wasted and crying.
Another occasion, DH was at work and HCBM was at his apartment (she did not live there) and went to hang out with his upstairs neighbors who were girls. She got drunk with them. When DH got home, he tried to explain to his neighbors that she had a problem and shouldn’t be drinking…. They said “don’t control her! That’s manipulative”. DH went back downstairs, HCBM followed, and they fought. She ran back to the neighbors crying and the girls stormed down into his apartment saying “What did you do to her? What did you do to her?!”
A different time HCBM was drunk she had locked herself in DH’s roommate’s room. He was trying to explain to her that she needed to come out, that it wasn't his room and she couldn’t be in there. HCBM called DH’s mom (now my MIL) and began wailing “he’s doing it again, he’s being crazy again!” God knows what she was talking about. Eventually DH called HCBM’s dad who came to pick her up. HCBM’s dad dragged her by her arm down the stairs rather roughly, and DH got upset, like “hey I get that she is drunk and being a problem but you can’t manhandle her like that” so HCBM’s dad responded my shoving DH up against a wall and holding his arm to his throat.
Shall I go on? There are dozens more. The worst is yet to come.
Anyways, about four years into their relationship, after multiple incidents of infidelity on her part, DH started chatting with other women sporadically. He says he knew it was wrong, but he thought if he could show himself there were other women out there who could make him happy, other stable relationships he could be in, he might be able to get away from HCBM. It was about five years into their relationship that DH actually cheated. And so begins HCBM’s favorite narrative, that DH was an awful, unsupportive unfaithful partner who drove her to drinking because he was so shady. She will never, ever consider the fact that my DH to this day is traumatized from their relationship. He’s been in therapy several times and every single therapist identifies her as a narcissist.
Several years ago when DH and I met I was in college. We had an on and off fling for a while on the coattails of him trying to end it with HCBM once and for all after over six years stuck in a cycle. I think my DH made poor decisions, dumb even. But I sympathize with the trauma bond he was stuck in with this woman, and how difficult it was for him to cut ties with someone who would go to great lengths to insert herself in his life, and with the pressure of his family saying he should be with her. He cut things off with me and fell back in with HCBM. Lo and behold… HCBM gets pregnant. This may be shocking…. But it was not a good situation to be bringing a baby into. HCBM was 28 at the time. She was (and still is) working for her mom at the business she owns because she had gotten fired from every other job for showing up drunk. A side note, her mom owns a gymnastics center where she is a teacher. My DH has told me about several times her mother would text him to come pick her up because she’d shown up drunk. Her mom would get her out of there and just sub in another instructor to cover her ass. Anyways, DH was terrified. However, DH grew up without a father, so there was no way he wasn’t going to be involved in his child’s life. It is an impossible thing to talk about in hindsight because I love my SD so dearly, she turns mine and DH’s world. But DH told HCBM to terminate initially. And to be fair, he was right. It was not a stable situation to bring a child into. Would I reverse time and change anything? Never in a million years.
As you may have guessed, HCBM decided to keep the baby. She repeatedly told DH that if he left, he would not see his child. DH was stuck and miserable. During her pregnancy, while HDBM was parading about as if they were this cute happy couple, DH began to miss me. He realized he had real feelings for me, and he reached out. I loved him the moment I met him, so I was thrilled. I’ll keep this part concise; DH began cheating on HCBM with me, and I knew. It was an ugly decision on both of our parts. Despite how much I loathe HCBM, she is a person. She did not deserve that. DH and I are both pretty ashamed about our choices back then. I’ll go into detail later about how both DH and I have tried to atone for our actions.
When she was about 7 months pregnant, HCBM caught on and contacted me. Those conversations are forever burned in my mind. She said some of the most disconnected, ridiculous shit I’ve ever seen. She was obsessed with the image she was trying to portray to everyone about her life. I’ll never forget one conversation where we were discussing their daughter’s impending arrival… I had said something along the lines of “do you think it’s wise to bring a child into this situation,” and she said “I have lots of help. I’m old enough.”
“I’m old enough.”
Like she’s a kid trying to convince her parents to let her stay out past midnight.
DH and I broke things off before SD arrived. I was heartbroken, but let’s be real, that was a mess. An entire mess.
Still, HCBM thought it was just a brilliant idea for her and DH to move in together. So her parent’s rented them a house in their small town…. DH kept paying the rent on his apartment the city about 45 minutes away. DH has told me how miserable their relationship was, and HCBM knew all about his affair with me. But like I said, she was desperately trying to create this pretend life for herself.
SD arrives, a day I am so glad to celebrate each year. She is truly the joy of my life. DH cried more than she did. He was instantly in love with his baby girl.
About three weeks later, HCBM is back on the bottle.
DH told me about how he’d come home from work and find her drunk. She’d grab the baby and lock herself in a bedroom and cry. DH feared for his child’s safety.
HCBM was only able to breastfeed for a month or so because she stopped producing milk due to heinous dieting. She was obsessed with getting back to her pre-pregnancy weight. She would eat only miso soup for days on end. This poor relationship to food comes into play later. HCBM’s mother was always over at the house. Cleaning up, buying them things. Contributing to the facade.
DH was severely depressed. He continued to stay with HCBM to monitor her drinking and watch out for his daughter. They got to a point where DH would sleep on the couch. One night DH came home and HCBM was drunk again with SD in her care. DH called her parents who came rushing over to remedy the situation as they always do. Shortly after they arrived, HCBM had slumped over on the couch and became unresponsive. An ambulance was called. DH says it was one of his most traumatic memories holding his baby daughter watching the EMT’s resuscitate her mother wondering how he would raise this girl on his own.
After a hospital stay, HCBM returned home and her parents ordered pizza and put on a movie and pretended as if nothing had happened. That was the routine. When DH expressed his anger, his justifiable concern for what was going on, HCBM’s parents treated him as though he was the problem, he was an asshole for bringing it up and blaming her.
It wasn’t long after this, SD must’ve been around eight months old that HCBM was on a binge and DH returned home from work to find the house empty. He frantically began calling people to locate SD when HCBM’s parents informed him that she was with them, and that HCBM had crawled out a window and was missing. A missing person’s report was filed. HCBM’s father told police to check ditches and park benches, as she could often be found there. She turned out to be at some random man’s house, and was located about 36 hours later.
DH was at the end of his ropes. He took the police report and lawyered up secretly.
Here’s a fun new component to the story, remember how I said that DH had began sleeping on the couch? In said police report, it is documented that DH and HCBM were not in a relationship and were merely roommates. Because that was the situation. Behind the scenes, HCBM had met the man of her dreams. Let’s call him PF….. for psycho fiance. Yes, they’re engaged now. We’ll get to that part. PF randomly messaged HCBM on facebook and they began talking. PF was a recovering alcoholic in his 30s with no driver’s license due to a DUI.
Now, recall when HCBM was missing? Her parents searched through her facebook accounts to try and locate her and found her messages with PF, they explained their daughter’s drinking problem and asked PF if she may be with him. She was not. They had not even met yet. But PF thinks this woman who clearly has severe personal issues is just the cream of the crop. He decides to take her out to lunch. By the end of their lunch date, he is love-bombing the daylights out of her. Calling her his wife, his galaxy, all of this grandiose crap.
Two weeks after they met, PF got HCBM’s name tattooed on him. While DH was trying to sort out a plan of action with his lawyer…. HCBM informs him that he has to move out so that PF can move in because he will soon be without a place to live. She wants to invite this man she’s known for three weeks to live with her and her baby daughter. I’ve seen the message she sent to DH, it reads, “I know it seems fast but I know in my heart that he is so good.” HCBM’s parents are thrilled.
Less than a week after PF had moved in and DH was out, the ex parte motion was filed. DH was granted full emergency custody of SD until a hearing could be held. HCBM did not see SD for nine days… and of course, DH was the villain for this.
At the hearing. DH was awarded majority custody, with HCBM being allowed one overnight a week. PF was not permitted to be present when SD was there for overnights until CPS could investigate.
Now, HCBM’s parents funneled money for lawyers, rent, utilities, basically any adult expense HCBM needs is taken care of by her parents. DH did not have the same luxury. He was working himself to death as a single dad trying to pay for his lawyer while the court battle ensued. Almost two months later, DH contacted me. We hadn’t spoken in close to a year. I was off living my own life almost halfway through college. DH just needed someone to talk to about it, and still had very strong feelings for me. I was a shoulder for him to lean on.
We began hooking up, with no real intention to enter into a relationship. I met SD and would watch her while he was at work. There was an obvious deep love between DH and me, but the circumstances were just so insane. Plus, HCBM despised me, and was weaving stories to the court about how DH was an emotionally abusive partner, a narcissist and the reason for all her drinking.
DH and I did not want the drama of HCBM knowing I was around. Since we were operating under the guise that this was just an indulgence and would end at some point, we kept our interactions a secret.
Then, the universe must’ve thought we were owed some karma for what we did during HCBM’s pregnancy. I was diagnosed with ADHD at age five and have had a prescription for stimulants since a very young age.
One morning I awoke and heard what sounded like tiny wretching from the other room. My medication had spilled out in the bottom of my purse as the safety cap was screwed on crooked. SD was playing on the floor and digging around in my purse. DH noticed her putting something in her mouth, realized it was my medication and immediately ran into the bathroom and began making her puke.
I called poison control who instructed us to bring her to the hospital. She seemed relatively normal, a bit dazed maybe. We called the ER to let them know we’d be arriving. We got there and they stuck charcoal down her throat, drew blood, the whole ordeal.
I brought my medication bottle with me to give to the nurses so they knew what she had ingested and to prove it was a legally obtained prescription. I was frantic and bawling, a nurse comforted me and told me that ingestions are extremely common and we had done the right thing by bringing her in.
SD had an elevated heart rate, was fussy and stressed. She was administered medication to help lower her heart rate and as a result had to be admitted to be monitored. The blood tests came back with extremely minimal amounts of my meds in her system, but it was protocol that she be monitored after the medication was given to regulate her heart. If you’re feeling anxious, I’ll add that SD is perfectly healthy and happy, she fully recovered and did not suffer any seizures or damage to her brain/liver etc. which were the primary concerns with this ingestion.
Since she was being admitted, HD had to inform HCBM. I had told him he should tell her immediately, but he did not want to deal with her reaction or her family arriving. I think this was a poor decision on his part. As flawed a person as she is, I do know that HCBM loves SD very much, and I can sympathize with her wanting to be informed if her daughter was being seen at the hospital.
HCBM and her family arrived, I had left to avoid the fallout and gather some things for DH to drop off while he stayed at the hospital with SD. Naturally, HCBM was in a blind rage that she had not been contacted immediately. She demanded that the CPS worker who was mandated to check in because of the ingestion file a report of negligence. The CPS worker declined, saying that there was no negligence to report. That evening, security was called to remove HCBM from the hospital because she was screaming at DH in the pediatric wing. She was told she could return on her custody day.
I went to visit DH and SD the next day, she was back to her old self and able to go home. We were nowhere near prepared for what was about to ensue.
HCBM had weaved a story that I was addicted to drugs, and that whatever I was doing had to have been in a plastic bag in my purse or how else would SD have gotten into it? HCBM and her lawyer filed an ex parte motion. Now I’m sure most of you are familiar with the workings of family court, but for those of you who aren’t; and ex parte motion is an emergency motion. It is a piece of paper laid in front of a judge. The details can be as vague or exaggerated as the writer pleases them to be, and it is not until a hearing is scheduled can anything be disputed.
HCBM and her lawyer claimed that SD had ‘overdosed’ on stimulant drugs and conveniently failed to mention that they were a legal prescription. More than that, ‘overdose’ was a completely sensationalized description of what had occurred, and not a term used at all by any of the medical professionals nor was it included anywhere in her chart of the incident. SD never lost consciousness. There was never a point where doctors were in fear for her life. But the judge sees what is put before them and signs off with the limited information they are given.
When HD filed an ex parte motion against HCBM, the hearing was scheduled for nine days later. When HCBM filed an ex parte motion against DH, the hearing was scheduled over two months later.
This was the worst time period in DH’s life. He attempted suicide. He lost an insane amount of weight. He sold beloved possessions to pay his lawyer. He did not have custody of his daughter and HCBM allowed him rare visits in public places once or twice a week.
But ah, how the tables turn.
A month before the hearing on the ex parte motion, HCBM got a DUI with SD in the car. Her driving was so ballistic, someone had called in her car. She was arrested. I could go into detail about the bullshit-ery of her and her family I read in the police report from that, but there is still so much ground to cover.
CPS notified DH of the DUI. HCBM and her lawyer told DH’s lawyer they wanted to settle custody outside of court before the ex parte hearing.
DH was exhausted. He was broke. He just wanted his daughter back. He settled with HCBM on 50/50 custody. This is perhaps the greatest regret of his life. The GAL at the meeting even told DH he didn’t have to do this, that he could fight her and probably get more custody. But DH was a shell of a person at this point. He was in debt. He was exhausted.
Mere days after they settled he checked himself into an inpatient mental health facility for treatment. He and I were in touch every once in a while throughout that entire time, but had ended our romantic relations after the ex parte was filed. I was more of a confidant and friend, but he had drifted apart from everyone in his life and I was focused on school.
The day that DH left inpatient, PF messaged him to tell him that HCBM had slipped up and drank again. Saying, “she just has such a big heart, this is so difficult for her.” DH suspects that she had gotten herself into another nearly lethal situation or gone missing and PF was hoping to do damage control by contacting him rather than him finding out another way.
So 50/50 custody it was. Nine months later, HCBM gave birth to her and PF’s son. I’m not sure of any exact dates but judging by the date of that message and the birth of the baby there is a high change HCBM was drinking while unknowingly pregnant.
For the DUI, HCBM was sentenced to 40 days in jail while pregnant with her son. It was a work release program. Since she worked for her mom, she worked as many hours as she possibly could. Her mom would pick her up from prison with her phone and her makeup so she could hide what was going on from her coworkers and the community. DH would bring SD to the gymnastics center to visit her. She had an IED put into her car when she was released, meaning she had to blow into a breathalyzer to get her car to start.
DH and I would check in every once in a while over the course of the next year. We both dated other people. HCBM of course had issues with DH’s girlfriend he was with for a few months. But things had relatively settled save for the tension and resentment between HCBM and DH.
More than a year had passed since everything transpired and since DH and I were last romantically involved. We began talking more frequently during COVID lockdown and DH admitted he was hopelessly in love with me and wanted to be together. We had a major problem though.
When HCBM and DH were settling on their custody agreement, HCBM insisted I was not to be around SD. If you recall, HD was broke, exhausted, and severely struggling with his mental health. He and I hadn’t seen each other in person in several months, we talked but very infrequently and never of rekindling our relationship in any capacity. So he gave in. As long as he could be done with the nightmare and have his daughter back.
A single sentence in a five-page custody agreement meant that I couldn’t be around SD. I want to specify, this was not a restraining order. I was never served any papers, I would not be punished in any capacity were I to see SD, there was no court record of any kind indicating that I was restricted from seeing a child or was a dangerous individual. DH wouldn’t even lose custody or face any legal ramifications were he to violate that single sentence, it would just mean an official would have to intervene to investigate and ensure the stipulation be adhered to. Still, it would’ve prevented us from having any sort of real relationship. So we filed a motion to have the line removed. I had not seen SD in well over a year and we abided by the order which was exceedingly painful.
The first hearing was before a court commissioner. We came armed with letters of recommendation from friends and family, from the families I had nannied for during college. DH’s family had finally seen the light and turned against HCBM and attended the court hearing, filing the seats.
The court commissioner spent about ten minutes reviewing our plea, and decided this was not a matter of my character or whether I was a threat to SD, but that this was a communication issue between DH and HCBM, and since DH had agreed to this, they needed to work it out between the two of them.
Ha. Like that would ever happen. DH and HCBM began communicating through a court monitored app and attending co parenting counseling while our lawyer filed a motion to bring the issue before a judge and have a GAL and Family Court Worker appointed. As we all know with family court, things move slowly and this we had to wait months to make progress on our case.
Co parenting counseling was fruitless. HCBM is not capable of accountability. She insisted DH was a narcissist because she’d read about narcissism on the internet and she believed she deserved full custody of SD.
A judge appointed a GAL and Family Court Worker to our case. I’ll never forget the relief that day as the judge told HCBM that me being in SD’s life was inevitable at this point. There was no evidence that I was a dangerous person. At one point, our lawyer brought up the language used in HCBM’s ex parte motion all that time ago, pointing out the sensational language used, specifically the term “overdose”. I was shaking when HCBM’s lawyer admitted to the judge that “there was no overdose.” I’ll never forget the sheepish look on that lawyer’s face, or how HCBM’s jaw tightened as she refused to look even a millimeter in my direction.
Everyone met with the GAL and Family Court Worker. Of course HCBM got the earliest appointment possible so she could try to sell her story. When I sat down with the GAL he said “I don’t know why you’re here, to be honest.” But that’s the ridiculous thing about family court, people can just spew this insane shit and it has to be looked into.
Both the GAL and Family Court Worker recommended the line be removed entirely. We still had to wait another month for our hearing for these recommendations to be made to the judge. Over the course of these proceedings, DH and his lawyer (with my consent) had been urging HCBM to attend a co parenting counseling session with me to address her concerns. HCBM of course vehemently refused, actually speaking to me would destroy the picture she had painted and deluded herself into believing about me.
We continued to press the issue though. After the GAL and Family Court Worker’s recommendations were passed on to everyone’s lawyers, it was clear this was not going to go in HCBM’s favor. It could’ve easily been settled outside of court, saved everyone time and money. But that was never going to happen, HCBM was going to go down swinging. Less than two weeks from our final hearing before the judge, HCBM agreed to attend co parenting counseling with me. Both parties signed NDA’s before going into these sessions, they were meant to be mediation for parents to work out their issues and not dig up fodder to toss around in court. A safe place, if you will. DH and I suspected she’d want to attend a session with me so she could fabricate some story about me being awful, or make it seem like she was being reasonable since she’d refused any and all attempts to mediate this issue civilly.
We were correct, but her feeble attempts at control were fruitless and the line was removed. I could see my girl again. Since then, DH and I got married and have been in absolute bliss as a family of three. But of course, the mess with HCBM does not stop there.
DH and I have no idea it HCBM has been drinking or not. We have no proof. She claims she got sober, but she never received any professional help or rehab so that seems doubtful to me. There are a few red flags. She now shares a car with her mother, claiming her car has “been in the shop” for well over a year now. DH explained that when she would go on drinking binges, her parents would take her car away so they could control where she went and monitor her.
We’ve also had the issue of SD not wanting to go to her mom’s house. I have ring video footage of HCBM coming to pick up SD. SD was in hysterics, she ran back in our house several times while HCBM stands annoyed in the driveway. DH sits with her and consoles her, encouraging her and telling her she will have so much fun with her mom and brother. On this particular occasion, it took 45 minutes to get SD to go with her mom. This happened numerous times. DH eventually brought this up to HCBM, expressing his concerns and saying that he wished she would participate in co-parenting their daughter in these situations rather than hiding behind her car. HCBM dismissed him, saying she was a great parent and he was obviously making SD act this way. Give SD an oscar at this point. I can’t even fathom what DH would say to make a five year old act that way.
Eventually, HCBM stopped picking SD up and instead sent her mom to get her. SD has no issue going with her grandmother. A bit suspicious to me that it was specifically her mom that caused such an upset for her.
HCBM is very obsessed with image. She dresses SD in expensive outfits with intricate hairstyles. I should add, expensive outfits that are purchased for her by HCBM’s mother. She has told DH that she is not pleased with how he sends SD to school and has concerns about his ability to parent. He sends her… a 5 year old… to school in leggings and t-shirts like the rest of the 5 year olds in her class. Don’t get me wrong, I love to dress SD up when she’ll let me and I have indulged in Rylee and Cru outfits and what not, but the majority of the time SD wears normal kid clothes. She runs and jumps and plays and likes pink and sparkles and tops with her favorite characters on them. We let her pick her crazy mismatched outfits and throw her hair up in a quick bun or braid so it is out of her face. She bathes almost excessively because she loves the bath and is a very well looked after child.
Now, HCBM lost a significant amount of weight after she got together with PF. Her mother is also extremely thin. DH has told me about how they were always doing fad diets, they’d call themselves fat and critique their appearances constantly and clearly did not have a healthy relationship to their bodies or food.
At our home, SD is fed a balanced diet but I try to encourage a positive relationship to her body and food. No food is “good” or “bad,” they simply serve different purposes. For example, carbs give us energy, protein helps us grow, sugar makes us happy, etc. Creating guilt around eating certain types of food can lead to eating disorders, body image issues, I know because I had a poor relationship to food and my body for so long. SD loves fruits and veggies. She also loves chips and candy. She is allowed to indulge in sugar within reason and without guilt. I don’t think it's rocket science, and for us it has had fantastic results. We'll be at a gas station and ask SD if she wants a snack and the kid will want celery. I follow the instagram page “kids eat in color” very closely and when we prepare SD’s meals, the “treat” component is served together with the rest and not withheld until later. This is so SD doesn’t view certain foods as special or more desirable than others, and won’t associate treat foods with this rush of excitement and overwhelming positivity moreso than say chicken nuggets or carrots. When DH sets down her plate to eat, SD rarely if ever reaches for her treat food first. She eats everything on her plate until her body tells her she’s full.
HCBM constantly berates DH about SD eating “healthy.” She criticizes him for getting candy at the movies. Goes off about her having a cup of sugar-free pudding at 11 a.m. On Halloween, SD is allowed two pieces of candy from her trick or treat pile at her mom’s house.
Last Halloween at our house, we dumped all of our candy out in a huge pile and watched a movie. SD ate, I kid you not, four pieces of candy. She didn’t feel the need to binge on all this candy because she knew it wouldn’t be withheld if she asked for more in our home. There is still halloween candy in a bucket in our pantry and we weren’t even out trick or treating for an hour.
HCBM accuses us of “competing” with her. This. Is. Rich. SD loves visiting my parent’s and sometime last fall took a liking to playing my dad’s drumset. Later that week, HCBM bought her a kid-sized drumset. We adopted a kitten, HCBM adopted a kitten. We started playing barbies as a family, HCBM buys a barbie dreamhouse. We planned a weekend trip to a big city a few hours away, HCBM and PF take SD and their son to that city the week before we’re supposed to go. My husband is a Dungeons and Dragons fanatic, and recently he has been making kid friendly campaigns for the three of us to play as a family. SD loves playing dungeons and dragons with her daddy. It has become our family’s thing. The dungeons and dragons movie came out recently and DH and I got tickets for an early screening on a day we didn’t have SD. Who do you think we saw there while we were waiting in line to get popcorn? Their family does not play dungeons and dragons. You’ll be pleased to know that SD came down to sit with us for the last half hour of the movie, PF who had taken her had to give in because they were seated a row behind us and she kept leaning forward to excitedly whisper to DH about the movie.
I have suffered extreme emotional issues due to the abuse from HCBM. I’ve attended therapy specifically to address it. I developed severe social anxiety because HCBM will tell anyone who listens these fictions about me and DH. We live in a small community, one that HCBM and her family have been a part of for a long time and I am constantly afraid people I meet will know them and have these crazy ideas about who I am as a person. The flipside of this is that their family’s reputation is not as positive as they like to think it is, particularly to police in the area. In addition to HCBM’s drunk escapades involving police, her father has a court record pages long for tax fraud.
Thankfully, I work in the city 30 minutes from where we live and that has allowed me to build my own village and have a life untainted by HCBM and her crap. Through lots of work I have been able to establish firm boundaries. I’ve had to restrict HCBM and her friends from my social media accounts after being watched obsessively. HCBM’s mother even went as far as messaging my mother on Facebook to try and say DH is a narcissist and she should be concerned for me. DH and my mom are very close, and my mom was mainly worried about how far these people were going to go to untether my life.
HCBM doesn’t seem to understand the concept of equal guardianship. She views herself as the primary parent and believes she should have access to everything in our lives. This is legally not the case so luckily we’re just able to ignore those demands but it gets taxing.
HCBM’s parents pay for SD’s health insurance so HCBM makes all of her doctor and dentist appointments and acts as though that’s because DH is an uninvolved parent, despite the fact that he has asked to make appointments on his custody days so he could go. I have excellent benefits at my job and could take SD on as a dependent since she resides with us 50% of the time. We haven’t even proposed this idea to HCBM because god knows she would never agree despite the fact that this would probably save her parents a ton of money.
HCBM has SD involved in several activities on her custody days. A bit too many for a five year old in my opinion. Multiple gymnastics and dance classes and soccer. Since HCBM’s parents are always funneling her money and paying her bills they are constantly going out to do expensive activities, weekend trips, shows, you name it. HCBM thinks these things make her a good parent, but I personally don’t think that SD feels as emotionally attached to HCBM as she does DH. DH and I spend a ton of one on one time with SD. We play with her with her toys, we do crafts, we watch movies together. HCBM thinks dropping her off at some expensive activity makes her this stellar mom, but she doesn’t engage in the same level of connection with SD that DH does. HCBM’s parents of course bought them a trip to Disney World last year, and the day they came to pick up SD to leave for the airport she did not want to go. She began crying and insisting she wanted her dad to take her, and that she would miss him too much. What five year old objects to effing Disney World??
We have issues on the horizon with SD attending kindergarten next year. I know a battle will ensue about where she attends. The custody schedule does not give us any weekend time because when it was written, SD was one and DH was working weekends and the days they agreed on coincided with his schedule. This means that when SD attends school in the fall five days a week, we will not get a full day together as a family. DH and I are very nervous about addressing this. We don’t have any desire to change the 50/50 custody, just to adjust the days so that we can have some weekend time with SD. It is likely this issue will end up in court and cost us thousands.
I have had to come to the hard acceptance that this is just how our relationship with HCBM will be, likely forever. I hold on to selfish hope that she may screw up drinking again, but at the end of the day I want what is best for SD which is a healthy and stable mother and I will do whatever I can to encourage a positive relationship for them. At this point we have no proof of her drinking for the past few years. Either she miraculously stopped or her family’s response is just so calculated to protect her from getting into any shit and jeopardizing her custody. If that is the case, that can only go on for so long before SD is old enough to tell us what is happening.
I think that HCBM is deeply insecure and ashamed. I think she needs to make DH and I the villains so she feels better about herself. I think her upbringing has allowed her to shirk any and all accountability, she is surrounded by people who tell her she’s never wrong and she’s this great person and great parent.
I don’t know what the resolution is here. If you have read this far, thank you sincerely. Though I confide in my mom and friends about the situation with HCBM, I keep my venting to a minimum so as not to let her live rent free in my life. I am not going to spend all this energy being pissed at her and her immaturity. I’m not going to give her the satisfaction of getting on my nerves, being the subject of my conversations. I’m not even going to let her think I care enough to trash her to people. But it feels extremely therapeutic to get this all out to a group of people who understand.

Lothli woke up bright and early this Saturday, as always. Then, with a yawn, she checked her phone: April 1st.
Was there something important happening today? I don’t quite remember…
Her thoughts were quickly swept away by the mundanity of her morning routine. Pulling on clothes, brushing her teeth, doing her hair…
And so, she was entirely caught off guard when she arrived in the kitchen.
Her twin sister cackled like a madwoman, stirring a gigantic cauldron smelling burnt iron, cotton candy, and writer’s tears.
“Maishul, what exactly have you done?” Lothli sighed, ambling over to the bubbling cauldron.
“This? Oh, just a little April Fool’s prank!” the other twin giggled before pulling out a miniature figurine of a strange humanoid insect. With a snap of her fingers, the statuette grew to full size, glancing around warily.
“Oh goodness! What’s going on here?” the moth woman exclaimed, seeming more confused than frightened. “What kind of insect are you? I’ve never seen anyone with just four limbs like you two!”
Lothli turned to Maishul, a frown on her face. “Is this Minerva? Did you STEAL her? We’re going to get banned, you know.”
The other twin continued cackling, heedless of Lothli’s wrath. “No, no, I got permission! Look!”
Indeed, the paper Maishul pulled out did have the signatures of one, two… how many authors?!
“Maishul, what the heck have you done?” Lothli huffed. “This is— how do we—”
“Excuse me, but I believe I may be lost?” Minerva asked, her wings fluttering nervously. “While I would love to ask the two of you some questions, I need to return to my lab, if you could point me in the right direction?”
“Oh, I apologize, Dr. Minerva. You’re currently experiencing a dream. Please do forget about this,” Lothli sighed before snapping her fingers and reverting the insectoid woman to her figurine form.
“How exactly are we going to explain this to Polaris?” Lothli deadpanned with her gaze on her happy-go-lucky sibling.
“Oh, I have a good ‘ol industrial barrel of Remove-Yo-Memory. I’m sure it’ll turn out fine!” Maishul grinned back. “Look, look! Let me show you what wonderful scenes I’ve cooked up for everyone!”
Scene One: Art’s Very Bad, No Good Day
I was not having a good day. First, I was thrown into yet another random plane of existence. Dimension hopping was something I wanted to experience no more than one time in my life; thank you very much. And yet, here I was. In yet another random plane of existence with absolutely no say.
“Iklem.”
Second all, I found myself surrounded by these strange creatures. Four legs, shimmering black pelt, bizarre snake-like neck, flat head, creepy singular eye, and that weirdly human voice. Definitely not a fan.
“Iklem.”
The three Iklems crept—
Ahem. The plural of Iklem is Iklemli, Art.
And thirdly, that obnoxious voice ringing out in my head. Who was that? Why were they in my head? And why could they read my thoughts?
Fine. The three Iklemli crept closer and closer, predatory intent clear. I backed away slowly before my phone suddenly burst out with the cheery tune of Weird Al singing, “Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)...”
“I’m in the mother of all situations here, Demoness, and you choose a freaking parody song? Can you at least tell me what the hell is happening here?” I snarled into my phone’s mic, watching the approaching monsters closely.
“M’dear, I hate to say it, but I have no clue what’s happening.” The slight strain in the Demoness’s usually sultry voice gave me pause. That Demoness? Confused? I really was in some deep shit, wasn’t I?
“Could you at least tell me what an Iklem is?” I said, imitating those creatures as best I could.
“My love, how do I explain this? As best as I could tell, at least five foreign dimensions have been forced together into one singular mess. And whoever did it had no grace or finesse at all.”
Tell the Demoness that she has no grace or finesse, either! Hmph!
Rolling my eyes, I communicated the feelings of my new head neighbor to the Demoness.
“Well, dear, tell your new friend that they should consider undoing this fiasco,” the Demoness replied with a sigh. “Whatever the case is, those Iklemli you mentioned are from one of those other dimensions. I can’t tell you a thing about them.”
With that good news, I turned back to the advancing beasts. This was going to be a fun one…
“Maishul, you can’t just break the fourth wall and shove your thoughts into the scene,” Lothli huffed, shaking her head.
“Pfffft!” Maishul blew a raspberry before turning back to her abomination of a cauldron.
“Also, you can’t just swap to first-person narration. We’re in third-person narration.”
“Well, Matt writes in first-person. And I respect our fellow author’s intent; thank you very much!”
Lothli raised an eyebrow in response before pointing to the bubbling cauldron of doom. “You call THAT respecting our fellow authors’ intents?”
“They gave permission!” Maishul pouted before turning back to her inglorious creation. “And you won’t complain once you see my next glorious scene!”
Scene Two: Sloth Squared
Pride’s scowl only grew deeper as he dragged his erstwhile companion along. The swampland around them had warped into a blooming forest, with trees looming large overhead. The various fully intact buildings were most concerning, indicating that the pair had passed into a rift.
“Sloth, GET UP!” he hissed, shaking the lazy layabout.
“Huh? Wuzzit? I’m sleepin…” Sloth snored, already back asleep.
“We’ve got a MAJOR problem here. Pretty sure a rift opened around us, so stay on guard!”
Sloth blearily stumbled to his feet before glancing wide-eyed at his surroundings.
“Holy cow, you’re right! I didn’t even notice. But, man, Pride, I’m so tired… I…” Sloth stumbled a bit further before faceplanting directly into a bed of flowers.
“Dammit, Sloth. This is ridiculous, even for your standards.” Pride leaned down to pick Sloth back up, but something strange was afoot. As soon as he leaned down, an overwhelming surge of exhaustion passed through him as well, and he collapsed on top of his companion.
“Dude, you’re sleeping right on top of a good patch. Can you two move?” A voice lazily drifted into Pride’s mind before he rocketed up ramrod straight.
“Hwa— what!? Oh. A rifter.” Pride composed himself as he stared down at the man who awoke him. About five foot six, with short white hair and red eyes.
“Uh, I’m not a rifter or whatever you just called me. I’m Clear, prince of Sloth. And you?” Clear tilted his head.
“Prince… of me? Ehehe, there’s no prince of me…” Sloth murmured in his sleep.
“Typical rifter, spewing nonsense. Come on, you lazy bum. We’re gonna hide before this gets violent.” Pride turned to drag Sloth away but found his legs unwilling to move.
“Hey, man. C’mon now. You haven’t noticed you’re in a dream yet?” Clear said, his hand extended. “Let’s just talk, alright?”
Pride struggled for a few more moments, then back at Clear. “Alright, alright, never seen a rifter do that before. Calm down, yeah? I’ll chat until this rift collapses.”
“So please, introduce yourself properly this time,” Clear responded, freeing Pride with a flick of his hand.
“Right. I’m Pride, that’s Sloth.” Pride pointed at himself, then at his companion. “Can we go?” “No. Please explain what you are doing here and those wings on your back.” Clear yawned. “Also, don’t use our nation’s name as a moniker. It’s probably disrespectful… or something. Eh, we don’t actually care that much.”
“Huh? We’re here because your stupid rift pulled us in,” Pride hissed. “And these wings? We were born with ’em. No story here. Also, pretty sure we were the ones who had those names first.”
“Eh, the kingdom of Pride wouldn’t be very happy to hear about that,” Clear responded. “But whatever, man. Things have been rather chill ever since a random blob named Sparky fell on top of the Demon King and ate him or whatever. So enjoy the nap, I guess. Mind if I join in?”
Pride rolled his eyes before scooting over to allow Clear access to the flowers. Before long, Sloth and Clear were snuggled up together, much to the chagrin of Pride.
“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
“Aren’t they just the cutest?!” Maishul exclaimed. “We should make that our newest OTP. I bet Haru would approve.”
“Please don’t ship characters across two different SerSuns,” Lothli replied with a shake of her head. “Also what was that about Sparky eating the Demon King—”
“OKAYNEXTSCENE!!”
Scene Three: Machines, Demons, and The World Tree
There was a rather strange rash of oddly dressed folk in Lugavya lately. Or rather, just odd folk in general.
Rumors flew of a human with bird wings who passed over the town, carried through hurried whispers between the residents. A strange man with fierce red eyes insisting on making ‘deals,’ much to the annoyance of passersby trying to get through their day.
Lena and Veska had met to investigate, unable to keep themselves still while such strange events abounded. No sooner had the two exchanged greetings did two strange men approach, flagrantly discarding any sensibilities on their right to free speech.
“Hello!” the younger one called out before getting his head gently bonked by the older.
“W-what was it? Oh! The greeting we use should have been ‘well met,’ right?” the teenage boy puzzled himself, rubbing his head.
“No. Firstly, as foreign visitors, we do not use that greeting. Secondly, we do not greet them. They greet us,” the older whispered, turning his eyes to Lena and Veska. It seemed at least one of them remembered their manners.
“Peace, strangers. We will not begrudge you for your transgressions. Tell me, what business have you with us?” Lena began.
“We are looking for directions. We have lost our way. Please, would you tell us our current location? Latitude and longitude are preferred, but any notable landmarks will do.” The older man bowed slightly, with the younger following shortly after.
Latitude? Longitude? These words were unfamiliar to Lena and Veska.
“This is Lugavya. Home to Alvedos, the World Tree?” Veska explained, an eyebrow raised. Were these folks raised under a rock or something?
The two men conversed among themselves, their frowns deepening.
“Apologies, but I am unaware of Lugavya. Could you perhaps point us in the direction of the United States?” the older asked, tilting his head slightly.
“Oh, and if you know of any demons, could you put in a word for me? I can’t figure out the ritual to get home without one of them…” the younger added.
The United States? Demons? More unfamiliar terms. Lena and Veska knew these newcomers were oddballs, but this was a bit much.
“I’m sorry—really! But we simply don’t have the knowledge to help the two of you. Perhaps you could head to the Foresters? I’ll give you their location.” Lena rattled off directions to the nearby Foresters’ hall.
“Thank you very much.” The older man stalked off after a stiff bow, and the younger man quickly followed.
“Sticks and stones, what is the world coming to?”
“Was that Megan’s SerSun? All that intricately balanced worldbuilding, and you just shoved random crap in.” Lothli barely held back a sigh. “Also, you didn’t even introduce those two characters. How are our readers supposed to know who they are?”
“This is left as an exercise to the reader,” Maishul tittered into the camera before returning to the glorious mess in her cauldron.
“Next scene!”
Scene Four: The One With No Chill
There wasn’t much that could faze a Huntress.
It was often said that their wills were unshakable. Nothing could cause them to stop them from single-mindedly accomplishing their goal. And yet, Olivia stood dead in her tracks, staring at the abomination across the Dam square.
“I AM OLIVIA. DARK HUNTRESS. SMASHER OF SQUEAKERS. AND THE ONE WITH NO CHILL,” the awful creature that vaguely resembled Olivia boomed.
“That young lass a friend of yours?” Barlow remarked, barely holding back a chuckle.
“Nope.” Olivia chucked one of her daggers at the offending sight, but she deflected the blade with a ripple of its musculature.
“You are weak. You have no strength. Witness me, false Olivia.” The muscle monster took up a ridiculous pose, her muscles overtly flexing.
“I will destroy you. And after that, I will destroy your creator. And I’ll salt your entire bloodline, while I’m at it,” Olivia snarled.
“I would like to see you try, false Olivia. Last time, I was overcome by the power of the Deus Ex Machina. But this time, I will not be struck down.” The monster took a step forward, the cobblestones cracking under her feet.
Olivia flinched. A Huntress does not feel fear. A Huntress does not back down. Yet… in the face of this horrible being… Her mind recalled the near-death experience she had with the Beast. Did she really want to face that again?
She shook her head, clearing it. No. She would finish this. Olivia raced at the mocking facsimile of herself, her onyx daggers at the ready. As she drew closer, she summoned every ounce of strength and struck.
As Olivia flew through the air, the world seemed to slow down.
Ah… this feels… familiar…
“‘Admittedly, Huntress, you are quite the entertainer—”
“No!” Lothli slapped the figurines out of Maishul’s hands, sinking them into the dreadful mire of the cauldron below. “You can’t reuse that line for the third time!”
“But you used it, Lothli. That’s hypocritical!” Maishul harrumphed.
“Yes, because it was the first time we used it. You can’t just reuse jokes like that!” Lothli glared. “And don’t think I forgot about that comment Clear made about Sparky. What. Exactly. Did you do?”
“Uhm, uhh…” Maishul stuttered. “W-Well, I maybe kinda spilled some my Story-Breaking-Plot-Devices into the cauldron on accident…”
“Your WHATS?!” Lothli stared at her twin in disbelief.
“Uhh, it wasn’t a big deal or anything. Just, uh... Scarlet, the Demon King, Sparky, Wan, Pre-Geas Dread Lord Ardus, the plague from , the Deus Ex Machina, the Beast, and the entirety of the United States’ arsenal of nuclear weaponry.”
Lothli shook her head with a sigh. “I’m pretty sure you caused mass human extinction at least three times over.”
“Well! No time to worry about it! Next scene!”
Scene Five: Bea and Ophelia Discover The Wonders of Nuclear Physics
Bea and Ophelia stared at the booklet that had just materialized before them. “Maishul’s Simple Guide to Stealing and Utilizing the Entirety of the United States’ Arsenal of Nuclear Weaponry: For Dummies!” The booklet was decorated with garish stickers of rainbows and glitter, along with cartoonish mushroom clouds.
With a glance at Ophelia, Bea picked up the book. Immediately, her mind was flooded with images and knowledge. Where exactly every nuclear silo in the United States was located. The launch codes and how to bypass the two-key rule. The birth and loving families of each and every nuclear warhead…?
“Bea? Dear? Are you alright?” Ophelia shook Bea gently, concerned. Bea wordlessly handed over the booklet and watched the same information flow through her. The two shared a meaningful glance before turning the manual over. A bright red button sat there, glowing ominously amongst the childish stickers and drawings of shocked faces.
“This is absolutely too dangerous to be left just lying around,” Bea murmured, staring at the booklet intently. Maybe it was a prank some lesser fae put together to induce some concerning but ultimately harmless illusions. But deep down, the two knew this was far more sinister than a simple prank. Plus, there was no fae named “Maishul” that either of them knew of.
“I’m going to have to seal this thing away with the strongest magic I have,” Ophelia declared. With a wave of her hand, ethereal chains weaved around the book. Magical seals whirled through the air, all concentrated on the offending manual. The horrors of nuclear annihilation have been contained with a final clap of her hands.
For around five seconds. Immediately after the ritual was complete, as if to spite Ophelia’s work, a glowing sword descended from the heavens, slicing through the glowing chains and seals like butter. The two barely managed to glimpse the name written on the side: “The Deus Ex Machina,” before the blade landed squarely on the big red button with a satisfying click!
“Shit.”
“So what exactly were you saying about ‘not worrying about it’?” Lothli shook her head in dismay. “How are we going to explain this mess to their poor, poor writers? What are we going to say to Bay?”
“It’ll be fine! I’m not breaking any of the rules on shortstories, which means I totally can’t be banned!” Maishul quipped cheerily.
“That is 100% not how it works.” Lothli crossed her arms. “Don’t drag me down with you.”
“I dunno! You’ll bail me out, right?” Maishul shrugged before returning to her appalling project. “Next scene!”
Scene Six: Sanguia Loses a Fight
These were the end times. The world felt… sideways. The government was in shambles. A plague that turned people into fine, yellow dust had apparently appeared, sweeping the continent from east to west. Yet, there was nothing I could do. Right in front of me, I had my own foes to contend with on the roof of Holos Lucidium.
On my right was a shapeless mass, writhing and transforming, throwing vicious barbs my way. It never introduced itself, but I knew its name from within myself: the Beast.
On my left was a much more innocent figure, at least on the surface. He had slicked-back black hair, brown eyes simmering with self-assured pride, and an easy smirk. And to cap it off, he introduced himself promptly and with great gusto; he was Dread Lord Ardus.
I could attempt to flee, but what purpose would that serve? Even if I got away, which my gut told me was highly unlikely, I would be abandoning my guild to die to these two monsters. So no. I stood my ground here.
“Sanguia. Member of Holos Lucidium.” I balanced my stance between my two flanks, watching both. With a smirk from Ardus and a ripple from the Beast, the fight began.
I quickly discarded the idea of even fighting the rippling mass on my right. It had no blood I could control, and impacting it with my blade would make me stuck. But the Dread Lord was no slouch, either.
As I rushed at Ardus, a tingle in my spine screamed at me to duck. I tucked into a combat roll as a great blast of flame roared right where I used to be.
“Fiesty, aren’t you? Well, that’s what makes it fun,” the Dread Lord growled, licking his lips.
I had no time to respond as a raging, shimmering bull attempted to ram its gleaming horns directly through me. I sprung off the ground, landing just behind the writhing bull. There was no time to go on the offensive; it took all I could to stay alive.
“Stop struggling, Interloper,” the Beast snarled. “I have plans I have to attend to. Plans that do not involve you.”
I kept the undulating mass between myself and my second opponent. My only hope was to promote crossfire. The dagger I held in my right hand felt woefully inadequate for this task.
“You heard the fella. I’ll end this, here and now.” Ardus thrust his hand straight up into the air as if grasping something far above him.
“Dread Lord. May I take this as a sign of betrayal?” The Beast rumbled, a dangerous edge to its voice.
“Nah, I never said I was working with you. You’re too… icky for my tastes.” The Dread Lord tapped his chin thoughtfully. “It’s a good thing you’ll be obliterated in an instant. Ta ta!”
I looked up with a heavy heart, knowing how outclassed I was. There was barely time to say goodbye before a massive ball of light enveloped me in its all-consuming shine. The last thing I managed to think was:
That was an utterly unfair fight.
“Well, the protagonist of our SerSun just died. What now?” Lothli looked at the cauldron in dismay.
“Hey, it’s not so bad! Scarlet is still alive, right?” Maishul dug around in the cauldron before pulling out yet another distended scene. “Look! Here she is!”
“What… is that?” Lothli looked at the scene with equal parts awe and disgust.
“Oh! Well, I really liked Fye’s SerSun, so I made my own! Isn’t it great?”
“Maishul, I think you missed the entire point of his SerSun. Where’s the inter-character drama? Where’s the mystery? Where’s the actual HISTORY?” Lothli poked the off-kilter scene with distaste. “This version of the story is just <Murder.>.”
“Well too bad, dear ‘ol sis! Here! We! Go!”
Scene Seven: Murder Without the History
Hi, I’m Benedict Lushon, Ben for short. Somehow, I think I just unlocked the secret to teleportation. I stand in the middle of the mansion’s dining room, feeling my stomach turn violently. One moment, I was chained in front of a cackling Kyle, and the next thing I know, we’re back in this blasted room. I crane my head, checking who else is here.
Teddy, check. His monocle and top hat are still crooked as he looks around the room, just as confused as I.
Cornell, check. Unfortunately, he still seems to be out cold.
Kyle, check. Wait—
I stride up to Kyle and grab onto his lapels. “What exactly have you done?” I say, shaking him back and forth.
Unfortunately, he seems even more confused by the current events than I am, judging by the bulging eyes and frothing at the mouth.
“W-What exactly happened here!? We were just— and then—” my former coworker manages to sputter out before a booming feminine voice rings out from the walls.
“Heya! What’s up, characters! It’s me, ya girl Maishul, back at it again with another fun murdery twist!” The cheery voice that booms out from the walls contrasts with all the horrors we’ve seen thus far. Also, who talks like this? Did we get kidnapped by one of those Instagram influencers? Ugh, I hate those kinds of people.
“Who are you?! What have you done?!” Kyle screams, his voice cracking. “I have waited YEARS to take my revenge on these fools, and you—”
“Oh. You.” The voice seems displeased at the interruption. “Sorry, I didn’t think your Tuffy plotline was interesting, so I retconned it!”
Now, that was the mark of a bad writer. As a future multi-bestselling author, I know that one of the most sinful things a writer can do is randomly retcon the story. I’m confident this random influencer girl will never go anywhere in her writing career.
“YOU! We were known as the Tufforo family, and we—” Kyle rages before being cut off by the voice again.
“Sorry, don’t care.” A piece of duct tape manifests itself directly onto Kyle’s mouth. I would find it funny if it didn’t demonstrate how supernatural this influencer’s power seems.
“Anyways! Here’s the rules. I’m not really good at that being cryptic thing, so it’ll be easy!” the voice announces with glee. “Here’s my super special sparkly OC, do not steal, known as Scarlet, Scourge of the Americas. She’ll try and chase you down! She wins when you’re all dead. You all win when, I don’t know, she dies of old age or something. You can try to kill her; it won’t work!”
‘Super special sparkly OC, do not steal?’ So, what, did I find myself in some hellish parody of Earth? That must be it. This must all be a very terrible dream. I sincerely hope that none of my readers would ever consider making fanfiction like this of my stories.
“By jove, those rules seem downright unfair!” Teddy finally seems to have found his voice. “Please, good madam, could you let us go? We have already suffered at the hands of that accursed man—”
“Lalala, can’t hear you!” the girl’s voice sang out. “Here she comes! Give it up for… Scarlet!”
A hidden panel drops a… rather regular-looking young woman onto the floor. Why, if I were in charge, I would have ensured that my villain would have a spectacular appearance. Someone as fascinating and spellbinding as Jack the Ripper—
Scarlet dashes at Kyle and [REDACTED]
… … Technical Difficulties
“MAISHUL! What the hell was that?! Is that how you talk when I’m not around? And what the hell was that last section?” Lothli furiously slapped the tortured scene back into the accursed project bubbling menacingly below.
“Well, Scarlet’s kinda messy, so I tried to cover it up,” Maishul pouted. “Also, I was just trying to liven up the scene a bit! Kyle’s so BORING. He speaks in RIDDLES and they make my brain HURT.”
“That’s because you don’t have a single brain cell in that head of yours,” Lothli huffed. “Don’t make such sweeping changes to people’s stories!”
“Well… dear sis, could I trouble you for a favor, since I’m so head empty ‘n all?” Maishul smiled her widest, most brilliant smile.
“What.” The other twin glared back, unimpressed.
“Well, if you don’t want the two of us to get banned, can you help me separate these stories back out? Please?” With a fluttering of her eyelashes and a winsome wink, this would undoubtedly win her sister to her side—
“Deal with it yourself. I’m going to hand out apologies.” Lothli had no sympathy for her twin’s plight.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Maishul cried. For now, she was burdened with her least favorite task; actual work.
And thus, this tale comes to a close. Nevertheless, its name will ring true throughout the land as the legendary fable known only as “In the Shadow of Machines, Scarlet, and the In Between Geas and the Beginning of the Demon Murder History: Dissonance, also How Did We Get Here?”
Thank you very much for your time. And apologies for my sister.
Lothli, signing off.
Credits: Maishul, Lothli, FTF!Olivia, and the Deus Ex Machina, from u/Lothli’s FTF Serial, Minerva and the plague, from u/PolarisStorm’s Art, Demoness Virtua, Sparky, and Dread Lord Ardus from u/mattswritingaccount’s Iklemli, Lena, and Veska from u/MeganBessel’s Pride and Sloth from u/Helicopterdrifter’s Clear and Alex from u/Carrieka23’s Talix, Sanguia, and Scarlet from u/Lothli’s Olivia, Barlow, and the Beast from u/Not_theScrumPolice’s Wan, Bea, and Ophelia from u/ZachtheLitchKing’s Ben, Theodore, Cornell, and Kyle from u/FyeNite’s The Entirety of the United States Arsenal of Nuclear Weaponry from the United States.
Special thanks to u/OldBayJ, which this fantastic feature would be impossible without.

Alien-Nation Chapter 159: Rationale

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“Take a break, E. You’ve been working on wiring for over an hour straight, and your work’s getting sloppy.”
I sat up and examined my handiwork. With a quick look over to the person next to me for comparison just to make certain, I knew Larry was right. The ugly globs I’d laid down were far from the perfect little silver hershey kisses G-Man was somehow still mechanically pumping out with his soldering iron.
It wasn’t fair. He’d won the shop competition for the pinewood derby, apparently had gone to states for TSA, outdid my own bomb designs, and now this. I forced myself to not give a look of envy up at the attentive boy, and instead forced myself to let it go.
Standing from the stool and stretching over the workbench, I closed the panel on the mostly-complete railgun, observing the dozen or so completed latest models that leaned up against the interior walls of the old cabin. I picked up a practice knife from where it lay near the exit and stepped out, letting my eyes adjust to the bright daylight. Maybe getting a little exercise as a break would freshen me back up. At least I had this.
Larry followed me out and sat on a felled tree trunk that had been dragged over where the old stone fireplace had been, eating an apple. “You know, this place is getting reinforced pretty heavily. It already had sentry posts, some dugouts, even some trenches. But now I see poured concrete, earthen mounds, storage, ammo, and rations stockpiled, enough explosives in that shed to level the damn place, and outhouses with septic systems. Now it’s got a command outpost and construction going on? If this were the civil war, we’d be all set to repel Confederates. I was worried you were gonna start living out here, like, forever.”
“I considered it,” I admitted. “With what’s coming, though, I think I need to sleep elsewhere.”
The old veteran gave me a long stare. “What are you planning, boy?”
“Well, it’s not really that I have something I’m ‘planning to do’, so much as something I’m ‘planning for’. You know, contingencies. A couple resistance cells have gone dark.” I noted his body language shift as he started to rise straight, and I put a hand up so I could finish. “Just a couple so far, perhaps to be expected after a major mobilization and strike, and also given the rapid rate of our growth. They’re not the first to go dark, but…a few more have given warning signs that they’re potentially compromised. Some of them have members not turning up for meetings, so they’re shifting to new locations for future meetings and letting us know. Obviously, they are concerned. I’m working on both reassuring them, while planning on mitigating the consequences if they’re right.”
He gave a nod, and then waved a hand for me to go on.
“I think we may need to quietly collect and stash some of those concerned people here. Anyone that we do relocate to Camp Death up here will certainly be stressed, though, and maybe even blame me for having to flee for their lives. So, while there’s a plan for handling the situation, the downside is, I can’t be here, either. I also can’t exactly brush my teeth with my mask on, you know- and having people who are likely to end up captured seeing my face? Recipe for disaster.”
“Okay, you bring them up here. Then what? Are we manning this place full time? I’ve noticed we’ve got sentries almost around the clock now.”
“Not really staffing it. While we’ve got material and such, the place just plain isn’t built for a lot of people to live here full-time. They’ll probably put up with it for a few days, while we do all we can to speed up moving them over into another state. Make them our expeditionary force. Sam’s arranging passes and fake IDs with his contacts in Maryland.”
“That’s making the best of things, I suppose. But you seem nervous.”
“This is the first time I’ve been stuck on the defensive, and Vendetta thinks we should pre-empt whatever the Shil’vati are up to, and carry out yet another strike. I agree with the sentiment, but…we’ve got Operation Town Hall coming up fast, just before the primary. Can’t pre-empt that without rushing something, and God, if it goes badly, it would really wreck Town Hall’s momentum if we fall flat on our faces with everyone’s eyes on us.” I laughed nervously, because the alternative was to be wracked with fear of the unknown and start trembling.
“Then just sit tight until then. Shouldn’t be too hard- just a few days of waiting.” He seemed to take stock of me. “Then again, waiting when you’re young is…difficult.”
I swallowed, unable to meet the gaze of his mask. “I’d agree that it’s just waiting, except Verns says he’s hearing whispers. I’ve taken some precautions but they’re a band aid to prevent the worst case scenario, which could blow a hole in our side. That might even hinter Town Hall and take the initiative from us.”
“You know, you seem to be thinking about too many things at once. If you need to relax, let off a little steam, I’d understand.”
I flipped the practice knife over in my hand and caught it by the handle. Pure showmanship, but I wanted to get my coordination back and settle my nerves, and I took a couple practice jabs, then tried it again, this time catching the dummy knife in my off-hand, repeating the process. “We’re all hanging out this weekend, actually. George’s birthday. Trying to relax.”
“Relaxing with a certain set of twins?”
I fumbled the next toss, dropping the dummy knife, then bent down to scoop the rubber blade up to try again. I’d forgotten how Larry liked to try and break my ‘bearing,’ so that I’d learn to focus and ignore distractions, and I could see his grin as I came up. He’d gotten me good.
“I know you’re joking, but what I’m afraid of is my timing. I keep asking myself: What if something happens? There’s no one who’s going to step in and take over. I’ve got- we’ve got no choice but to knuckle-down and get through it. But I’ll try and relax.”
Larry stood, setting the apple down on the log-seat. “I’ve known him for almost thirty years. He’s a good man, a good father, and best of all, he’s always got one ear to the ground. If Verns says he’s heard whispers, then…” Larry trailed off and looked up at me, patiently waiting for me to continue. When I didn’t, or perhaps taking in the spike of anxiety the old mechanic’s words had provoked, he at last conceded: “Well, it could be nothing. Either way, you’ve done all you can to prepare,” he waved a hand at our surroundings. “Besides. You had school. You can’t drop out. What’ll you do when school starts again? This impromptu summer vacation won’t last forever. Eventually they’ll start expecting you to attend.” Great. He’d just given me something else to think about, and not exactly helped alleviate the strange guilt I felt over taking an afternoon to ‘be like a normal kid.’ Maybe there was a reason most successful revolutions weren’t led by teenagers.
“There’s so much going on. I thought with more time, I’d have the ability to run everything. Perhaps, if we win the election, if we start gaining concessions, I can start delegating more. Put Verns in charge of the politicians’ concession demands from the Shil’vati, for example. Get a local commander for the expeditionary forces- the last thing they need is someone barking orders from the other side of the border. There’s a few cells that have proven themselves loyal and capable. We can start tapping them for more leadership opportunities.”
“That sounds wise,” he said. “You’ve been doing a good job and all, but you need to sleep, after all, and the bigger it grows, the more you’ll need to start trusting other people on decisions again. How are the new cells looking? I hear we’ve got lots of new people: Are we training them with good OpSec? I can step in on that right away, if you think it would help.”
“That would be appreciated,” I agreed, a bit relieved already just to know the offer of help was even there. “Vendetta’s got the list, but he makes it sound like there are hundreds of them. He doesn’t have the mobility to see them all. There’s also the fact that if they’re sting operations, then he’s taking a risk just meeting with them. They might notice how he arrives, how he leaves, might assign a tail.”
We took a moment to both listen to a woodpecker deep in the forest, and our masks looked at one another, both of us sharing a moment’s appreciation for the world around us before he offered his response. “Those lawyers are doing great work getting people off their charges. If we lose him…” Larry seemed to weigh his next words carefully. “...well, I know he’s your friend, but there are others to delegate to, you know. Ones I’d consider to be less…contentious.”
“I trust Vendetta to do what has to be done,” I countered. “I understand he’s a loose cannon, but I don’t know if there’s anyone else who could have done what he’s done for us. I prefer to use him in high-risk situations like these.”
“Where losing him in an arrest would be less devastating to our operations?” He asked, dubiously, as if begging me to reconsider. “He’s, you know, in the inner circle. You may have consigned half your life to the dustbin, but…you shouldn’t. I hear that Myrrah lady bit the dust. And you aren’t sleeping here, you say, so…I take it there’s been a new lease on life as Elias. Don’t sign it away on his back.”
“I see your point,” I said slowly. “The problem is, though, if the Shil’vati make a big show out of the arrests and we start losing people to arrests and raids, then no one will trust that we can assure their safety if they join us. I know there’s an inherent danger to this kind of thing. And while I don’t want cowards and power-hungry opportunists in our ranks, if people think we can’t even protect our own from having their doors knocked on, then we’re finished. All those fence-sitters who might jump would never come over to our side. That will slow us down from our goals. It’ll take another string of big wins to win them back over into even considering joining.”
“I don’t like admitting it, but most of the recruits are new to being soldiers. I can’t throw a war for the survival of our culture and tell them hey, if you join us, this is what will happen to you, but here are the stakes. They’ll just be miserable and scared, especially if it looks like the Shil’vati can just find them at any time.”
“Do you remember how I told you in the van, when we got ice cream, that a revolution won’t succeed off a bunch of martyrs no one could associate with? With no incentive, we’ll just look like a bunch of dreamers. Which I appreciate, that kind of…” he trailed off, for once mincing his words, much to my chagrin. “...youthful idealism has its place, but I also understand that the temptation of ‘retire today, kidnap an unarmored marine at gunpoint’ has been a compelling factor in recruitment, especially after what we got paid for Myrrah’s release was made public.”
“I don’t mind a financial incentive structure, provided they know they get it by facing risks. What worries me are the people who just want to cozy up and will sell us out the moment things get tough.”
“With training and discipline, plus a few ‘easy’ first strikes, we can turn even the biggest coward into reliable soldiers. Just give them time and be patient, boy. A concern is- what is smart about having a bunch of stressed out people away from home, around a lot of guns and noble hostages?” He jerked his thumb over to the shed.
I didn’t bother to correct him about that. At least the latest ‘oddball prototypes’ for field testing were being stored over at the new Warehouse Base. Some of the pieces of tech were too advanced for us to manufacture for now, and far from subtle. But we apparently had the skill to assemble them, at least.
“Maybe we mix in people who do have a choice with those unfortunate enough to have been potentially compromised. Say, Grouper and a few others, split by numbers to keep them calm. After all, if they spark a panic, I’m sure the Shil’ would notice. And then what? I don’t want to kick off Plan C by accident.”
“Plan C?” He stared. “I’ve heard that tossed around a few times. What is it?”
“Contingency. It’s never meant to be ‘Plan A,’ let’s put it that way. It’s meant to hand the Shil’vati something they’ve never had before. I’m just not sure we can deliver.”
I found myself staring at the trees around the camp. There was something odd about them…
“Can I see the hatchet?” I asked.
“Why? Can’t light a fire in the woods without attracting attention. Very unwelcome attention.”
“Just testing something. I’ve got a feeling.” I strode down to the tree, careful to avoid the traps. The trunk was massive- thicker than even an oak. I couldn’t remember seeing one so large when first we’d come here.
“Son, the Vietnamese didn’t win many standing engagements. Nor did the Iraqi army. What made them so costly to occupy wasn’t anything to do with standing fights and uniforms or discipline. When they tried to take standing fights, it always ended badly for them. Just- have you seen what their ground-attack craft can do?”
“I’m familiar. About a mile over there-” I pointed over the bluff toward the city. “That’s where I nearly died with Vendetta, running from where we first tried bombing one of their armored vehicles. They’d called in an airstrike.”
Then I took a swing into the trunk- and the Hatchet didn’t even manage to break the bark well, which itself had a thickness to it, too. Strange. I swung that pretty hard. I examined the edge, then tested it against my thumbnail. Definitely sharp.
“No shit?” He asked, looking over to where I’d pointed.
“Yep. I genuinely don’t want to deal with those. I’ve got some plans, but I’m not sure they’d work, and certainly not if they’re a bunch of people prone to panicking.” I scratched at my scalp, and realized that aside from the distant sentries, it was just G-Man, Larry and I here. So I walked back until I was atop the innermost earthen wall, and I hopped over the trench to talk with Larry face-to-face.
“I’m trusting you’re not putting your faith in God they won’t just bomb this place flat upon discovery for no good reason.”
I shook my head, and walked back to the bomb-making cabin. It, too, was empty of people, though packed with explosives we had yet to distribute. I turned and took my mask off- and Larry hesitantly did the same, offering me a hesitant smile.
I did my best to return it. “Religion and I don’t seem to get on well.” Besides, as even the devout brothers I once knew had often told me: ‘He has never helped the lazy.’” I couldn’t skimp on contingencies. But I also couldn’t obsess over them without being consumed over the endless possibilities.
“Boy, I asked you about what we were up to. I’m in this ‘inner circle,’ and I think I deserve to know what Plan C is. If only to help you see it through. I hope you meant what you said about delegation. You know you can trust me,” he almost sounded hurt to not have been involved.
I took in a deep breath, and then let it out slowly, remembering how he’d talked me out of Operation Martyr. Perhaps he was right- and Vaughn as my principal co-planner and confidant for this wasn’t for the best.
“You’re right. It’s time I told you everything. The plan is simple enough. It’s my hope that a diplomatic resolution can be found for the current hostilities here, so we can focus on starting them elsewhere. And I know they’ll take my offer. We’ll force them to the bargaining table. They’ll be put in a double-bind, and I’m pretty sure I know which way they’ll come down on the matter, because they’re terrified of the truth.”
“Pretty sure?”
“I did say it’s Plan C. If you’re using Plan C, it means you ran out of good options.”
Alright, fine. But what’s this ‘truth’?” Larry sounded skeptical.
“That they are terrified of actually escalating us to the same level of importance as even their lowest Shil’vati citizen, Larry. That we are just as important as they are, and they fear admitting we are just as capable. They still aren’t admitting that we are their true equals. Sure, they’ll readily tell everyone we are, they’ll call us ‘Citizen,’ and they do all the little things for us, hand us scraps, but it’s ‘gratismut’ or ‘free courage.’ It costs them nothing to say these things. Yet, if they’ll admit killing us is a higher priority than saving their own kind, even their noblewomen, then that means they mean it, and we will have won a victory that will be felt throughout the galaxy. What would it mean, if they confess to seeing us that way?”
He looked me in the eyes, searching for something I hoped was there.
“It means that our failures on this planet were the same they might have made. It means that all our combined sins throughout history, whatever our culture’s blind spots or shortcomings, our species’, does not make us inferior to them in any way. It means we had no less a right to an existence and self-governorship than they did as they grew as a civilization. It means that we are dangerous, and what’s more, capable when self-led, which to their traditionally militarized society means functionally the same thing. So then in their eyes, this invasion becomes a war of conquest unmasked, rather than the impression they like to give, that of a caretaker’s kindly and merciful imposition. It stops them looking like they’ve been correcting the self-destructive behavior of a mentally infirm species on the brink. It means that when they slaughtered our kind in the invasion, that it was not ‘justified’ nor a ‘pruning,’ and that it was in fact a needless massacre. It means that they could have come in peace to us as equals, that we could have been dealt with fairly, and that we probably even could have led ourselves just fine, and that eventually we might’ve even caught up to them, if we had more time to develop technologically.” I could see him wrangling with it, so I put a hand on his shoulder, and looked the man I considered my dad in the eyes. “It means that your nephew was not a fool to oppose them, but a man who died for his right to be free, to not kneel before conquerors without a fight. People all around the galaxy will see this, and they will understand it, forever.”
I saw his eyes do something I’d never seen, and he wiped at them with a calloused finger bitten into by countless hours of labor.
“Boy… you don’t know what that means, I didn’t know-” he whispered, and trailed off, eyes distant. “That is… you do understand. Yes. Yes, Emperor. I am with you in this. All the way. If you want me here, to watch whoever you send up, then I’ll do it. You want me to train them, I’ll do that.”
“They will accept the bargain,” I said. “They must accept it. Or else their empire will die.”
“So, that’s the plan?”
“That’s the plan. For now. We still have to grow. We still have so much more to accomplish.”
“I’m with you.” He said resolutely. “All the way.”
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1. Fakhre, Danny & Christine: Danny Fakhre is the Chairman of Kochii Oil out of Australia. Christiane is his wife.
   
2. Falletans, Olivier de: Managing partner at Bryan, Olivier, & Co., a mid-market investment bank in Technology. Olivier comes from a family of nobility dating back to at least the 13th century.
   
3. Fanjul, Pepe: Jose “Pepe” Fanjul is a billionaire businessman involved in sugar and real estate. Vice Chairman and President of Flo-Sun. “Pepe” is a Republican. He was one of the largest contributors to George W. Bush’s campaign, is an ardent supporter of Marco Rubio, and co-hosted a large fundraiser for Donald Trump. His older brother, Alfonso Fanjul Jr., is a Democrat and was a co-chair of Bill Clinton’s Florida campaign,
   
4. Faulkner, Terence & Cornelia: Terence Faulkner is Chairman of Leathams PLC, a London-based food distributor. Cornelia is Terence’s wife. She is Director of Leathams and a specialist decorator.
   
5. Felix, Helena: Not much to be found on Helena. She was possibly the director of an investment firm called Edenhaven Limited. Her husband, Peter, was an oral surgeon. He passed away in 2011.
   
6. Ferragamo, Leonardo & Beatrice: Leonardo is the son of Salvatore Ferragamo, the creator of Salvatore Ferragamo, S.p.A., an Italian luxury goods company specializing in shoes, leather goods, and watches.
   
7. Flick Mook: Likely Friedrich Christian Flick, known as Mick Flick. The Flick family was a billionaire coal and steel conglomerate that was accused of war crimes during the Holocaust. Flick’s grandfather financially supported the Nazi Party and used 48,000 forced laborers from the concentration camps, many of whom died due to the conditions. Grandfather Flick was found guilty of war crimes at Nuremberg and served 3 years of his 7-year sentence. Mick (Mook) sold most of his holdings in the ‘80s and retired a billionaire.
   
8. Forbes, Chris (Kip) Astrid: Son of Malcolm Forbes (1919-1990), the former politician and sole owner of Forbes Magazine. Chris Forbes is Vice Chairman of Forbes Publishing Company and brother of former Republican Party primary candidate, Steve Forbes. His wife, Astrid (nee von Heyl), is a German baroness and a descendant of the House of Bismarck, a German noble family.
   
9. Forte, Rocco & Aliai: Rocco Forte owns the Rocco Forte Hotels group. They own fourteen upscale hotels throughout Europe and employee 2500 people. His wife, Aliai, is in fashion design.
   
10. Fraiser, Violet: Likely refers to Violet Fraser, a Communications and Marketing Manager that works with Moussaieff Jewellers through World Media Group. She has also worked for Dior and Bulgari.
    
11. Fraysse, Isabel: Isabelle Fraysse is a former Style Editor for Vogue. Founder of ISI Style Consulting.
    
12. Freud, Mathew: Matthew Freud is the head of Freud Communications, an international public relations firm. Matthew is also the great-grandson of Sigmund Freud. Freud’s first wife, Caroline Hutton, went on to marry the 9th Earl of Spencer (Princess Diana’s brother). Elisabeth Murdoch, his 2nd wife (now divorced), is the daughter of Rupert Murdoch.
    
13. Fry, Cosmo & Amanda: Cosmo is a chocolate heir and the son of well-known inventor Jeremy Fry. Jeremy had royal connections and was slated to be the best man at the wedding of Princess Margaret, Queen Elizabeth II’s younger sister, but was replaced after it had been found out that he approached a man for sex. Cosmo’s owns a company that specializes in making plate racks and bookshelves. Amanda eventually went on to marry rocker Daryl Hall of Hall & Oates fame in 2009 after her divorce from Cosmo.
    
14. Furstenberg, Alex, Alexandra V.: Alexander is an American businessman and the son of the famous fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg. He remains a partner in his mother’s company. Alexandra is a furniture designer and Alex’s ex-wife. They divorced in 2002 but have 2 children together.
    
15. Ganoza, Esteban Juan: A Peruvian businessman who said he met Maxwell in the 1980s when he lived in New York, but denied any ties to pedophilia when his contact information was revealed to be in Epstein’s ‘Black Book.’
    
16. Garland, Michael: Likely the Chairman of investment firm C5 Capital, located in London
    
17. Giussani, Luca: President, CEO of Dorial Telecom, Inc., a telecommunications company.
    
18. Goldsmith, Isabel: An art collector and owner of Hotel Las Alamandas in Mexico. Goldsmith is the daughter of Sir James Goldsmith, a French-British financier, tycoon, and member of the European Parliament.
    
19. Gomme, William & Emma: William Gomme is a former director of several furniture manufacturing companies in London. Emma is his wife.
    
20. Gordon, Jacobo: Spanish businessman who co-founded several real estate and gaming companies with Alejandro Agag. Agag is a former politician in Spain. He became Secretary General of the European People’s Party (EPP), a tremendous political faction in Europe. Agag played a huge role in getting former Italy PM Silvio Berlusconi’s party into the EPP. Berlusconi has been charged for underage prostitution in the past. Agag quit politics to pursue financial and sporting interests. He is married to the daughter of Jose Maria Aznar, the former PM of Spain and Ana Botella Serrano, the first female mayor of Madrid. Guests at Agag’s wedding included kings and queens. Berlusconi and Tony Blair served as witnesses.
    
21. Geary, Tim: Served in public relations and was Director of Membership at Soho House, a restaurant and private members club.
    
22. Gelardin, Jack (jacque)Jacques P. Gelardin currently Founding Partner of J P Gelardin & Co, LLC , Lehman Brothers Inc, Member of the Management Committee,Chairman & CEO, Lehman Brothers International.
    
23. Gertler, Eric: A venture capitalist who served as Chairman of U.S. News & World Report, a media company most known for publishing news, consumer advice, and rankings ranging from education (top universities, high schools, etc.) to job professions, healthcare, and too many others to mention. In 2019, Governor Andrew Cuomo nominated Gertler to serve as President and CEO of Empire State Development, New York’s chief economic agency. In Epstein’s ‘Black Book,’ Privista is listed under Gertler’s name. Privista is a company that protects against identity theft. Gertler was President and CEO.
    
24. Getty, Mark: Co-founder and Chairman of Getty Images, a photographic conglomerate. If you have ever surfed the Internet, you have seen several pictures/images belonging to Getty Images. From 2008-2016, Getty was the Chairman of the Trustees of the National Gallery in London. Grandson of Jean Paul Getty Sr., founder of Getty Oil Company, and one of the richest men in the world during his time. The Getty Family has a net worth north of $5 billion as of 2015.
    
25. Getty, Pia and Chris: Pia Getty is the daughter of billionaire Robert Warren Miller, an American-born British businessman and founder of Duty Free Shops. Pia’s sisters are Princess Alexandra von Furstenberg of designer fame and Maria-Chantal, Crown Princess of Greece, Princess of Denmark. Her ex-husband (1992-2005), Christopher, is Mark Getty’s first cousin. Christopher is also the grandson of Jean Paul Getty Sr. When they were married, Pia and Mark would hold A-list parties on the rooftop of their Manhattan townhouse. Their townhouse was located half a mile from Jeffrey Epstein’s mansion. Many people think that the Getty Museum in Los Angeles houses an underground base and city for the elites.
    
26. Goulandris, Dimitri: Founder of The Cycladic Group, which invests and creates businesses. Spent 8 years at Morgan Stanley in its private equity group. Goulandris is the Executive Director and a Board Member for Knightsbridge Schools, which has 3 schools (KSI Montenegro [a boarding school], KSI Bogota, and KSI Panama), all of which are primary/secondary schools for students aged 2-18.
    
27. Grabau, Lorenzo: Spent seventeen years at Goldman Sachs before becoming CEO of Investment AB Kinnevik, a Swedish investment firm. He was fired less than 3 years after taking the position.
    
28. Graff, Francois: CEO of family-owned Graff, one of the world’s most notable jewellery houses. The company is worth several billion dollars. Graff has been photographed with the likes of Wilbur Ross. In 2001, there was a party celebrating the opening of a new Graff’s store. Attendees included Ghislaine Maxwell, Ivana Trump, Joan Collins, and Denise Rich (source: https://www.nytimes.com/2001/06/05/style/IHT-laurence-graff-and-his-pockets-full-of-diamonds-the-buccaneer-of.html
    
29. Grant Jamie: Likely James Grant, owner of No2 Pound Street, an award-winning wine shop that specializes in British Cheese and cured meats. He and his wife previously worked at some leading hotels and restaurants.
    
30. Green, Jeremy: Likely the former Chief Executive of Quba Property Holdings in South Africa.
    
31. Guccioni, Tony: Son of Penthouse creator Bob Guccione.
    
32. Guest, Cornelia: Named Debutante of the Decade of the 1980s, Cornelia is a well-known New York socialite who comes from money. Her family made money in iron and steel and have served in British politics. In December 2015, Ghislaine Maxwell attended Cornelia’s holiday party.
    
33. Guggenheim, Barbara & Bert Flelds: Guggenheim (not part of the Guggenheim museum family) is a partner at the well-known art advisory firm, Guggenheim, Asher Associates, Inc. They have built collections for Coca Cola and Sony, as well as Tom Cruise and alleged pedophile Steven Spielberg. Epstein victim Maria Farmer once worked for Barbara at her home before meeting Epstein. Farmer got the job through Barbara’s sister, Eileen, who has been accused of being an Epstein enabler. A petition (https://www.change.org/p/david-kratz-eileen-guggenheim-must-be-removed-for-harm-she-caused-to-maria-farmer-by-jeffrey-epstein?recruiter=30424804 to have her removed as Chair of the Board of Trustees of the New York Academy of Art as a result of Maria Farmer’s allegations has over 10,000 signatures. Farmer says that Eileen Guggenheim forced her to sell a painting replicating Degas’s “The Rape” to Epstein. Two weeks after meeting Epstein and Maxwell, Guggenheim took Farmer and other art students to Epstein’s Zorro Ranch in New Mexico (source: https://news.artnet.com/art-world/epstein-ranch-art-students-1760265 Barbara’s husband, Bert Fields, is an entertainment lawyer who has represented the likes of Steven Spielberg, Bob and Harvey Weinstein, George Lucas, Michael Jackson, The Beatles, etc.
    
34. Halpern Jen: A British philanthropist, PR guru, and businesswoman. Her father was knighted by Margaret Thatcher.
    
35. Hammond, Dana: Socialite and heiress to the Annenberg Publishing fortune. Hammond is friends with Ghislaine Maxwell. They have been photographed together at various parties.
    
36. Hayworth Reggie: Heyworth runs the 160 acre Cotswold Wildlife Park, which attracts more than 400,000 people a year. He lives in the middle of the park at the Bradwell Grove estate. .
    
37. Hefner III, Bob: Founder and CEO of GHK Companies, which specializes in oil and natural gas. Founded the Robert and MeiLi Hefner Foundation which sponsors educational trips to China for outstanding high school students. His grandfather, Robert Hefner Sr., served as Mayor of Oklahoma City, was a Supreme Court Justice of Oklahoma, was a member of the executive council of the Boy Scouts of America, and was a thirty-second degree Freemason. This article makes a connection between Jeffrey Epstein, Bob Hefner III, and a winning Powerball lottery ticket that was purchased in Oklahoma in 2008 (source: https://www.thelostogle.com/2019/08/14/no-jeffrey-epstein-did-not-win-25-million-from-an-oklahoma-lottery-ticket-or-did-he/#comments
    
38. Heineken, Mr. Fredie: A Dutch businessman for the Heineken brewing company. Was chairman and CEO from 1971-1989.
    
39. Helen and Tim Shifter: Helen is a former Vogue Magazine staffer. Tim is former CEO of LeSportsac and serves as Senior Advisor at Blackstone Group, a private equity firm. The Schifters are personal friends of Ghislaine Maxwel
    
40. Hersov, Robert & Kim: Robert is a South African entrepreneur and mining heir who has worked for Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and News Corp. (owned by Murdoch).. Ex-wife Kim is a London-based fashion editor and designer.
    
41. Heseltine, Rupert: Businessman and heir to Haymarket Media Group. Son of Baron Michael Heseltine.
    
42. Jameel, Mohammed: Saudi Arabian businessman. CEO of Abdul Latif Jameel, a collective of family-owned businesses that specialize in transportation, investing, and real estate. Royal pervert Prince Andrew infamously partied on Jameel’s yacht during the 2011 London riots (source: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-andrew-frolicks-on-yacht-with-mystery-147496
    
43. James, Susie: Founder and owner of 123 Send Ltd, a company that provides payment terminals.
    
44. Katz, Anton & Robin Plant: Anton is CEO and co-founder of Talos Trading, which specializes in cryptocurrency. Anton and Robin are friends of and have been photographed with Ghislaine (source: https://www.patrickmcmullan.com/search/?person=5b3ef50c9f929066764df255
    
45. Kegan, Rory: A nightclub designer and creator. Co-founder of the exclusive, celebrity-filled London nightclub, Chinawhite. Prince Andrew (source: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9818190/prince-andrew-pictures-cast-doubt-epstein-sex-slave/ and Prince Albert of Monaco are regulars. Chelsea Clinton has been there, as well (source: https://www.standard.co.uk/news/bright-night-for-china-white-6299739.html). Other patrons include: Prince Andrew, Kate Middleton, George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and more.
    
46. Keidan, Amanda: Owner of Keidan Jewelry.
    
47. Kersner, Sol: South African accountant and hotel and casino magnate who died of cancer in 2020. Kerzner was a close friend of Donald Trump. They even worked together to create The Palm, a man-made island off the coast of Dubai (source: https://www.ft.com/content/46393280-d9f9-11da-b7de-0000779e2340. Kerzner was also close friends with Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York (https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/sarah-ferguson-the-duchess-of-york-sol-kerzner-chairman-and-news-photo/83768272), Naomi Campbell (https://www.gettyimages.ca/detail/news-photo/naomi-campbell-and-sol-kerzner-pose-backstage-during-the-news-photo/82869744), and Bill Clinton(https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8144647/As-Sol-Kerzner-dies-aged-84-RICHARD-KAY-looks-riotously-louche-life.html Kerzner was very good friends with Nelson Mandela and built his casino resorts with Gerard Inzerillo
    
48. Khayat, Antoine, Jana, & George: Jana is an heiress and businesswoman. Jana is the niece of Galen Weston, a close friend of Prince Charles. George is her brother and CEO of Associated British Foods. Jana’s husband, Antoine, is a former banker and currently runs their vineyard.
    
49. Klesch, Johnathan: Former Director of Klesch Trading, which specializes in industrial commodities. It has offices in Russia, Malta, Surrey, and in London, down the block from Buckingham Palace.
    
50. Koch, David: Co-founder of Koch Industries, a diversified manufacturing conglomerate. Koch Industries has stolen oil from Indian reservations, committed hundreds of polluting, labor, and workplace safety violations. When he ran on the Libertarian ticket as the vice presidential nominee in 1980, Koch aimed to abolish Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, welfare benefits, and minimum wage. Koch and Epstein were friends. Epstein even attended a party at Koch’s Southampton home (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7270735/Jeffrey-Epstein-Trumps-closest-advisers-Wilbur-Ross-Rudy-Giuliani-Steve-Mnunchin.html). Koch has also been photographed with Ghislaine Maxwell (https://www.reddit.com/KochWatch/comments/dcjth3/david_koch_ghislaine_maxwell_getty_images/
    
51. Kohl, Astrid: A businesswoman involved in pharmaceuticals. Married to Prince Alexander of Liechtenstein. Daughter-in-law of Prince Philipp of Liechtenstein. Niece of former German Chancellor, Helmut Kohl.
    
52. Kotic, Boby: CEO of Activision Blizzard, a video game holding company. Used to run several electronic companies. From 2003-2008, he was a director at Yahoo! In 2012, he became a non-executive director of Coca-Cola.
    
53. Lal, Dalamal: Director of Akron Corp. & Akron (Nig.) Ltd., a food and beverage import company based out of Nigeria.
    
54. Laurie, Jonathan: Founder and CEO of Cheyne Capital Management, an alternate investment fund firm.
    
55. Lavlada, Laura D.B. de: Laura Diez Barroso is a Mexican businesswoman. She sold her stock in Televisa for $726 million in 1993. Since then, she has been the head of several other companies.
    
56. Le Fur, Jean-Yves: French businessman and magazine creator. He was once Princess Stephanie of Monaco’s ex-fiance. More notably, Le Fur was the one who discovered supermodel Karen Mulder (his girlfriend at the time) on the floor after she attempted suciide. Mulder blew the lid off the rampant rape and sexual abuse that she and her modeling colleagues had suffered at the hands of businessmen, royalty, celebrities, and government officials. She was even the protege of Epstein collaborator (allegedly), Jean Luc Brunel (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/article238351108.html
    
57. Lea, Piers: CEO of Learning Technologies Group, a workplace digital learning company.
    
58. Lester, Dominick: Founder and owner of MortgageFlex Systems, a mortgage lending company.
    
59. Lindemann, Adam & Elizabeth: Adam is a billionaire investor and art gallery owner. Brother of Sloan. Elizabeth is his ex-wife. She is often photographed with many other people mentioned in Epstein’s ‘Black Book.’
    
60. Lindemann, George(Sr.) & Freida: Now-deceased billionaire father of Sloan and Adam. George was the CEO and Chairman of Southern Union, a pipeline company and served as Vice President of the Metropolitan Opera Association of NYC. His wife, Frayda, is the President and CEO of the Metropolitan Opera.
    
61. Lister, Paul: Likely the director of legal services and company secretary for Associated British Foods
    
62. Lorimer, John & Lottie: John works as a private investor and as a realtor. His wife, Lottie, is an interior designer.
    
63. Macmillan, Dave & Bella: David is a publisher and the grandson of Harold Macmillan, former British Prime Minister (1957-1963). Bella is a British socialite and author. She also designed dresses for Princess Diana. They are now divorced. David and Bella made news in 2015 when it was revealed that Michael Lynton, the CEO of Sony Pictures, jokingly mentioned firing the UK culture minister so that David can take over (https://www.theregister.com/2015/04/18/sony_emails_lynton_vaizey/). David and Bella were voted a top 50 power couple over the age 50 back in 2013.
    
64. Mahler, Giovanni: Businessman in the gas industry. He co-founded Navigator Gas shipping company. The most interesting story revolving around Mahler can be read here (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/millionaires-wife-is-killed-by-speedboat-in-sardinia-305350.html). Mahler was on a motorboat on the way to his yacht in Sardinia where close friend Flavio Briatore (Briatore is Naomi Campbell’s ex-boyfriend and was photographed with Epstein victim Virginia Roberts several times - https://www.the-sun.com/news/265368/prince-andrew-epstein-scandal-accuser-virginia-roberts-posts-chilling-message-aimed-at-naomi-campbell-and-ghislaine/) waited. On the way to the yacht, Mahler and the others on board struck and killed Alex Ciardi, wife of investment banker Giuseppe Ciardi. Turns out that Alex Ciardi worked with the NSPCC, a children’s charity that several others in Epstein’s ‘black book’ (Jemma Kidd, Tim Jeffries, Mary Glanville, Clare Hazell-Ivaegh, Ben Holland-Martin) and Princess Margaret have served. The accident occurred close to Silvio Berlusconi’s villa. Berlusconi is a billionaire businessman and four-time former Prime Minister of Italy who throws infamously raunchy Bunga Bunga parties. He was convicted of paying an underage prostitute for sex, but those charges were later overturned.
    
65. Malenga (Mandela) Machel: A managing director at Whatana Investments Group in Mozambique. His father, Samora Machel, was the first president of Mozambique. He died in an airplane crash in 1986 under mysterious circumstances. His mother, Graca Machel, runs the company. After her husband Samora died, she married Nelson Mandela, who died in 2013.
    
66. Malina, Marjorie: Wife of Frank Malina who co-founded Aerojet, an American rocket and missile propulsion manufacturer. Frank went on to become head of scientific research at UNESCO before creating Leonardo**, a peer-reviewed research journal. Frank was inducted into the International Space Hall of Fame in 1990. Marjorie is the mother of Ghislaine’s brother-in-law, Roger Malina.*\*
    
67. Malkin, Shelly & Tony: Shelly comes from major oil money. Her grandfather founded Belco Petroleum, which was bought out by Enron in the ‘80s. Tony is the chairman, president, and CEO of Empire State Realty Trust, the real estate investment company that owns the Empire State Building, and other properties around New York.
    
68. Manconi, John: Businessman who hosts super exclusive charity polo events attended by Prince Charles, Harry, and Andrew (https://variety.com/2002/scene/vpage/royals-have-splendid-time-1117868882/).
    
69. Manzano, Jose Luis & Alejandra: Jose Luis is an Argentine businessman and former politician. He is a partner in Grupo America, the second largest multimedia group in the country. He has given money to the Clinton Foundation and The Climate Reality Project ran by Al Gore.
    
70. Marks, Stephen & Alisa: Stephen is the founder and chairman of French Connection clothing brand. Alisa is his gold digging ex-wife.
    
71. Marsh, Jeremy: Has served as a managing director and president of Warner Bros. Records, Virgin, Telstar, and RCA.
    
72. Massimo, Parisi: Founder of Baltic Model Management.
    
73. Mattsson, Carolina: Owns a consulting company in Sweden.
    
74. Mavroleon, Basil & Carina: Basil is still involved in shipping, working at Genco as an Independent Director.
    
75. Mavroleon, Manoli: From the same Greek shipping magnate family. His name was listed in the Panama Papers (https://offshoreleaks.icij.org/nodes/11000305 for using offshore tax havens.
    
76. Mavroleon, Nicholas & Barbara: Nicholas works in the family business. His ex-wife, Barbara Carrera, is a model and actress.
    
77. Mayhew, Mr John: Owner of the famous Rules restaurant in Covent Garden. Inherited the Lartington Estate.
    
78. McDonald, John: NYC-based restaurateur.
    
79. Mcleod Jock & Pru: Alasdair ‘Jock’ MacLeod is a long-time executive at Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation. His wife, Prudence, is Rupert Murdoch’s daughter. Coincidentally, Prudence attended The Dalton School while Epstein taught there in the ‘70s (https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/12/nyregion/jeffrey-epstein-dalton-teacher.html). Rupert Murdoch is listed later on in Epstein’s contacts. Murdoch also goes back a long way with Ghislaine. Murdoch and Ghislaine’s father, Robert, were rivals since they both owned competing newspapers in the U.S. and abroad (https://c8.alamy.com/comp/B502J2/rupert-murdoch-media-baron-in-conversation-with-fellow-newspaper-owners-B502J2.jpg
    
80. Merison, Guy & Caroline: Guy is co-founder of Hartees, a commodities firm specializing in energy.
    
81. Merivale-Austen, Bruce: Managing Partner of DM Partners Asia, a private wealth management firm. Plays polo every summer with Prince William and Prince Harry (https://www.thailandtatler.com/people/brouce-merivale-austin
    
82. Mermagon, Mr Jonathan: Businessman and close friend of Pakistani Prime Minister Imran Khan, whose name keeps popping up. Memagden even served as Chairman of the UK PTI Secretariat (https://news.cision.com/curzon-pimran-khan-shares-vision-for-building-a-stronger-pakistan-through-trade,c9336910). PTI is the current ruling political party in Pakistan.
    
83. Minot, Carie & Bell, George: Caroline is a jewelry designer. George has been responsible for several Silicon Valley startup companies. Before that, he was a senior editor of Outdoor Life magazine and has won Emmys for directing and writing conservation documentaries. He also founded Outdoor Life Network (now NBC Sports).
    
84. Montemayor, Cesar: Founder and President of InverCap, a large investment firm
    
85. Monti Riccardo: Managing Director and Senior Partner at BCG (Milan), one of the largest management consulting firms in the world.
    
86. Morton, Peter: Co-founder of the Hard Rock Cafe.
    
87. Murray, Jean Pierre: Founder of Surf Channel and co-founder of TransCash, a prepaid Visa debit card firm.
    
88. Nadler, Emanuel: Businessman involved in mortgage companies.
    
89. Nagel, Adam: Works at W Nagel, broker and advisor to premier diamond manufacturers, such as De Beers.
    
90. Nagel, William: Chairman of W Nagel. Diamond merchant.
    
91. Newman, Mr & Mrs John: John is Hetty’s father. He achieved the rank of Lieutenant in the Royal Horse Guards. He later became a businessman and was director of several companies.
    
92. Niarchos, Constantine: Billionaire son of shipping magnate Stavros Niarchos. Was once married to Alessandra Borghese of Italian papal lineage (and black nobility). He was also romantically linked to Koo Stark, Trinny Woodhall, and Kerry Kennedy (daughter of Bobby Kennedy), all of whom are in Epstein’s ‘black book’. Constantine died of an overdose with enough cocaine in his system to kill 25 men (https://www.theguardian.com/theobserve1999/oct/17/life1.lifemagazine7
    
93. Noel, Vanessa: Luxury shoe designer, hotelier, and gallery owner. Many celebrities are clients of hers.
    
94. Ojora, Yinka: CEO and/or Director of a number of investing groups in Nigeria
    
95. Ong BS & Chritina: Christina is a Singaporean hoteliebusinesswoman who is heavily involved with Club 21 (a luxury fashion brand) and COMO Hotels and Resorts. She runs all of the Armani outlets in Britain, as well as the franchises for Donna Karan, Prada, and Bvlgari. Christina and her husband, Beng Seng, are worth $1.9 billion.
    
96. Ong, Melissa: Christina and BS’s daughter
    
97. Orlando, Fabrice: CEO of Cocoon Events Management Group, a luxury event planning company based out of Morocco.
    
98. Osbourne Rachel: British businesswoman who has served as director for several companies. Otto, Beo & Edwige Edwige manages 2 companies (2 mandates), his main mandate is Administrator within the company 18 MONTAIGNE . Edwige OTTO works in the Real Estate business sector. Julian PORTHAULT is part of Edwige OTTO's network, he is Chairman and CEO of 18 MONTAIGNE .
    
99. Parker, Jackie: Management consultant who sits on the board of several companies. Also the head of global philanthropy for General Motors.
    
100. Paulson, John: Billionaire hedge fund manager
     
101. Pedrini Tito: Jeweller
     
102. Pekeler, Marcus: Communications consultant in Switzerland.
     
103. Picciotto, Michael: Vice-Chairman at Engels & Volkers AG, a real estate firm. Former head of global financial activities for UBP, a Swiss private bank owned by Picciotto’s family.
     
104. Plouvier, Diane & Denis: Denis is the owner of Trousseau linen company (https://www.denisplouvier.fblank
     
105. Polii, Edoardo: Powerboat champion and textile entrepreneur.
     
106. Polu, Clary: “Marketing director of Lycos and Meetic, wife of the "startup" Christophe Schaming, co-shareholder of Winamax, the online betting company co-founded by the mysterious passenger of the Lolita Express Nicole Junkermann” (http://faitsetdocuments.com/articles.html
     
107. Porthault, Mr & Mrs: Marc Porthault runs the family linen business, D Porthault. Marc’s parents founded the company. Clients include Bill Gates, Woody Allen, the Mellons, and the Kennedys. Marc’s wife, Isabelle, is the head of human resources of Chanel in Europe.
     
108. Porthault, Remi & Isabel: Remi is the marketing director and president of the U.S. subsidiary of D Porthault linens.
     
109. Potter, Muffie: Socialite and former executive at Van Cleef & Arpels, a watch company. Married to famed plastic surgeon, Sherrell Aston. She has been photographed with Ghislaine and Peggy Siegal at various events.
     
110. Prestin, Electra: Former vice president of merchandising for Ralph Lauren and co-founder of Adam & Eve clothing company. Her father, Lewis T. Preston, was chairman of J.P. Morgan and president of the World Bank (appointed by George H.W. Bush). Her great-grandfather was newspaper publisher Joseph Pulitzer, whom the Pulitzer Prize is named after. Another great-grandfather of hers was a partner in the Standard Oil Company of John D. Rockefeller.
     
111. Price, Judy: Founder of Avenue, a magazine about New York City.
     
112. Puig Marc: Chief executive and president of Puig, a fragrance and fashion company.
     
113. Quartucci, Alan: Founder of North Shore Bloodstock and North Shore Insurance, thoroughbred bloodstock companies that provide equine insurance, consulting services, racehorse management, and more.
     

I've been on low carb since 2012 (Primal, some Keto) and dropped 35-45lbs. I started slow carb 7 weeks ago and have seen little to no results. The rules are pretty easy to follow as I'm mostly adding in legumes and beans, plus 30g protein when waking up, etc... I find the diet easy and even pleasurable to follow.
I'm wondering if the slow carb losses are basically the same as no carb losses - I've already reaped the benefits of cutting starch, sugar, etc..?
I've also been doing PAGG, and CQ on cheat days.
I have more energy with the addition of legumes, and I like that.
I have not done body fat %, but I have been measuring key areas weekly, and the variance is slight week to week - low enough to be a measuring error (How tight did I pull the tape last time?) sometimes up, sometimes down.
Anyone else out there seeing these kinds of results?
I'm not gaining weight, and I love the cheat day - but wondering if I need a new avenue.

​
"yes sir. yes sir. but sir... uhh yeah... I mean... understood sir."
It was always a pleasure seeing Ezekiel interact with the founders, Ezekiel has both respect and disdain for them. There are times when he praises their assistance and times when he expresses his hate for them. overall I'm sure he's aware that the bottom line is they are in charge. I don't really think about the power dynamic much, I'm a grunt soldier that's just my trade. Unlike Ezekiel, I met a founder and he seemed like a normal down-to-earth young man I don't have reason to disrespect them. Besides myself only Agony and Lose have met a founder, they try to stay mysterious with the position they're holding. I'm assuming Ezekiel isn't the only agent who talks badly about them.
"Well, there's no getting out of this one, if they were right here id throw them into that cursed prison, 900,000 units? what are we? bottom tier chumps ."
"That's fine with me, did they activate my gear ?" I said stretching my limbs
"Yeah, they sent it." Ezekiel said putting his mechanical wristbands on and taking out his long-range "hybrid" brand rifle.
We made our way to the door. "hey stop right where you are" a voice from behind us announced. a guard with brass-rimmed goggles ran over. 'you can't enter the prison without a brief." she said lifting her goggles and squinting at us.
"uh sorry to play this card but we're AKA 2 and 4 I'm pretty sure that's below our security clearance chief. so just go back to the break room we have orders to go in" said Ezekiel glaring at her
"Well don't mean to play this card but the prison doesn't officially recognize your clearance at the top-secret-chasm level"
"We don't have time for this," said Ezekiel reaching for her uniform. she grasped his arm with insane speed and pushed him up against the wall holding his arm back. Ezekiel clocks her with his free arm with an elbow to the jaw and wrestles out of the hold and placing his rifle on her head.
"Everyone just relax, just give us the summary I'm sure that will work fine right ?" I said trying to defuse the situation.
"fine," she says the main three rules you should follow are:

1. don't get in a warden's way
2. prioritize the structural integrity of the prison and the cells
3. don't trust the prisoners

"That's it?" said Ezekiel annoyed.
"That's not all, I don't trust you so... Quincy!" another guard rushing by stopped to meet her gaze. "Quincy you're in charge of these two don't let me down kid, i can't have them slowing me down so just keep an eye on them. Quincy is in my unit he'll answer your questions and keep you from fucking shit up."
"dude I hate her," said Ezekiel as Quincy kept his eyes down and nervously put in the code
The lights flashed on and off as the door opened. My adrenaline pumped furiously. I placed a patch on my wrist with the label "focus". My body reacted to the patch intensely I could feel my dilating pupils and everything slowed down very slightly but I noticed. Ezekiel walks through the gate behind me pulling his mask onto his face.
"come to help me keep the peace? fine just try and keep up" said Jesus in a serious voice. he reached for his halo and split it. the halo shards formed into glowing golden twin daggers with runic etchings. He smirked at us both before taking off so fast the wind made me stagger. right behind him, the female guard from before took off in a different direction stopping only to stick her tongue out mockingly and sped up furiously.
"what a couple of assholes," said Ezekiel. We made our way down to level three, Quincy leading the way. we boarded the trans on level 1 and it floated down to level 2 and straight through the hall leading into level 3. Along the way, a few levels 2 APEs tried to reach out and grab us but they were quickly knocked out. it was pretty pathetic. For some reason, my eyes kept drifting to Quincy up ahead. I had never seen anything like it. A small almost toddler size human with a big wizard hat with runes etched on the sides. He had noticeably big soulless eyes and He was levitating up and down brandishing a small arm canon for a weapon that looked like if he shot it would send his little form flying. "we're here, don't let your guard down" he said in a soft but booming voice and it's like 3 people were talking at the same time.
Right as the trans came to a landing a body came flying at us shaking the pod*SHOOOO BOOM* slamming into the window and making it land sideways skidding to a screeching halt. Ezekiel blasted at the doors with his right wristband. It didn't break. I jumped up wedging my short sword in the crack and tried to pry it open and still it wouldn't budge. I noticed Quincy staring at me unimpressed as he pushed the open button and I fell off the top and back down onto the ground. Ezekiel laughed jumping onto the outside and pulling me up. "alright what's going on here." I said.
suddenly the ship was swept from underneath us. "Is that a golden bull?" I said staring at the creature who rammed into our ride as if it were made of foam. Ezekiel fired a shot at its chest. The bull began to blast steam out of its nose. unfazed by the shot. The bullet fell off him flattened into a disk and shot off small spikes that again did not faze the bull either but bounced off and back at Ezekiel. Who swatted them away stumbling back.
"It's brazen," said the little guard aiming his shaking canon at the bull. He was now carrying his fellow guard who was in bad shape after colliding with pod. "brazen the bull. he usually remains docile until he senses a male presence in the area when he will pursue them till he tramples them." he said in a fearful voice. "so he's a machine or something?" asked Ezekiel "presumably" responded the guard.
The steam had completely surrounded him. I squinted my eyes and my pupils searched frantically Suddenly loud thunderous clops sounded off from my left, the beast barreling towards us. Quincy fired off three blasts. The first exploded blue electricity missing the Brazen. the second hit, lighting him up red and clearing some steam, and the last one missed hitting the ground and burning green. Brazen didn't even falter blowing out more steam. "Ezekiel slow him down," I said taking off toward him. Ezekiel fired off a shot at his back right leg and another at his left. Cement-like foam gushed out of the right solidifying almost instantly and the left grew out thick black vines rooting into the ground. Brazen broke the cement almost instantly and fell over seemingly surprised at the strength of the vines. I approached touching my armband activating its kinetic energy absorber. I looked up at bull trying to find the right spot to attach the AI Scrambler. Brazen then did something that made me slow down to a stop. Its jaw unhinged mechanically and a white light glowed. He aimed at the vines and blasted pure light at the roots. His beady gold mechanical eyes noticed me and he swept his head across with the beam "fuck" I muttered as I dove to my right and sprinted narrowly avoiding the beam of destruction. The light flickered and suddenly cut off. "I did not expect that but seems you're all tuckered out," I said catching my breath. Suddenly brazen stood up, on two legs. He was a hulking mass, around 11 feet in height. his front hooves turned into three-finger hands and his head shifted into a proper position, he was now more like a brazen minotaur. How do you fight something twice your size twice your strength? There's always a way I thought to myself. still in awe but reacting he kicked me up surprisingly quickly breaking the impact absorber in my chest plate and overloading the kinetic energy reflector in my arm and blasting me up further. He swung a fist in my direction, I braced myself for impact until I noticed Ezekiel firing off another round. A shot flew into the cracks of that arm and out sprouted branches. I reacted quickly ducking the hit and reaching for the branches holding on tightly. Brazen shook furiously to get me off but I just climbed up further up for a better grip. More shots landed in his arm joints they grew fast, faster than he could rip them off. He charged at Ezekiel booming down the area. I struggled to hold on and activated the AI scrambler inside the cracks of his head which I guessed was where his brain was. He was fighting to stay conscious of tanking blasts from Quincy to the face still missing but ultimately brazen fell defeated. I fished around in his head for my AI scrambler and pocketed it. "handy as always" I muttered. “So this is level 3” I said observing the rubble of doors being blown off their hinges and locks. A corridor leading further down colored the signature blue.
We continued down the hall running into corpses here and there. Quincy was quiet. I could tell he was thinking about the deaths. His fellow guard passed away shortly after the encounter with brazen yet he clung on to her lying to himself that she was still ok. It was clear this was his first battle. I probably should have comforted him but I don't like to get attached to anyone at work, they all die so fast. "Hey, Quincy what's up with the body you're dragging around," asked Ezekiel. "come on man" I muttered to him. "I'm just asking, no big deal, no big deal right quince," he said smiling at me and Quincy. "This is my friend if I can get her to the warden I can heal her. he brought me back once after I got cut up real bad bled out even," said Quincy. "Your girlfriend?" said Ezekiel kicking the head off a PE. "no way, just a friend. I've abandoned finding a partner in this life. My true purpose is my service. I was born alone and a monster and ill die a lonely monster. At least if I can save her ill have a friend along the way" said Quincy. "jeez man that's kind of sad. You just have to start a cult or infiltrate a cult and kill its leader. I've seen a couple of people find happiness that way" responded Ezekiel. "not really my thing, I was raised in the prison. I've lived in level 1 my whole life. the only thing I ever did that I'm proud of is making a couple of friends and joining the guard, this is my life" said Quincy. "What is your deal? Monster or experiment?" asked Ezekiel. "I'm not sure, it's actually classified. my own birth is classified to me. I know that my body is about as frail as a child and my mind emits waves. I use magic so I guess I'm a mage. " said Quincy "damn that sucks maaaan... holy shiii-" Ezekiel was interrupted by the roof and floor around him and Quincy collapsing.
I turned around reaching for his hand and missing. Two others fell from the roof down right after them, not guards or prisoners. I took out my radio and radioed down to Ezekiel. "Zeke you ok man?" I waited for a few minutes. "yeah we're good. The roof sealed above us." he said and I heard him fire a few shots at the roof.*ping* *crash* "AKA Judas head to the end of the hall. You can meet up with us if you can phone the warden to open the gate to level 4 for you. Or if you can find the leader of the level 3 unit." said that soft booming voice of Quincy. "Roger that," I said collecting myself and continuing down the hall.
I heard voices up ahead. I hid behind some rubble and looked over. A thin-looking person about 5'4" ish clad in black scarves and holding a smoking black dagger stood across from a funny-looking man with a plain white shirt, black shorts, and a top knot around 5'10" with a bastard sword. "have at the foolish ninja. you've crossed paths with Adrian master of swords and weapons drop your weapons and avoid execution" the one in the black jumped into the shadows. "spineless coward, not to say I blame him" he said lowering his sword. Then suddenly swiping unbelievably fast stopping the person in black midair. Failed to block the second knife cutting his arm. " I only take orders from the blazing empire, the 1st special ops company does not acknowledge your authority," said the person before being launched back into the shadows by the swordsman's sword. The bandit jumped from shadow to shadow clashing with the swordsman over and over. *cling, clang*, the metal clashed over and over messing with the swordsman's footing. "ENOUGH," said the swordsman slamming his sword into the ground while the bandit was sent back into the shadows by the blast of air given off by the blade. He pulled out his sword in the shape of a katana now. "I have prayed to the blade for the weapon to defeat you. This is the form it chose." he cut the air which the bandit narrowly dodged. Something fell to the ground. A bloody ear. A flurry of swipes ensued cutting the walls into rubble. The bandit did their best to land attacks on the swordsman. Despite the average look of the man he was surprisingly elusive and athletic. The bandit, however, was not looking good covered in bloody cuts all over, and even their scarves began to fall off. They darted in my direction and I readied myself. Right as I saw the black figure pass over my head I grabbed its leg and pulled them down. As they looked back in surprise their head came clean off. I let go in surprise. Briefly, I studied my surroundings, my figure was highly visible against the blue walls of the halls of the prison, and the swordsman landed in front of me. I quickly hid in another room, without my gear I wouldn't stand a chance against a PE like that.
The swordsman stared in shock at the bandit. "no, a woman? You're so beautiful had I known I would not have judged you so harshly. your all exposed I mustn't look. "what a freakin weirdo man" I thought letting out a chuckle." who goes there" he said forgetting about the bandit for a moment. he took off his shirt and laid it over the woman and walked in my direction.
I was preparing my handgun when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't move and saw a bird fly off my shoulder into the corridor. A blue macaw I think. I stopped moving for a moment. I know this one, the macaw was a nearly extinct species of bird, and from what I remember this was the last of its kind. The story claimed a witch has cursed this bird and from then on anyone it perceived as a threat would die a painful death at its hands, or should I say talons. I remember when I caught it. I just walked up and picked it up gently but on the ride here it freaked out in the lobby and it took hundreds of tranquilizers to take him down. The swordsman stared at the bird. "oh, just a crow." he said dumbly. I Palmed my face. The swordsman somehow picked up the sound and unsheathe his katana. The bird began its transformation. The swordsman jumped back but not expecting the arm that grabbed him and threw him into the metal wall. An ear-piercing screech fest erupted as the macaw transformed fully into the beast-like form. The macaw's serrated beak latched onto his arm and flailed him around bursting through the wall. The swordsman screamed in agony hitting his beak unsuccessfully with his blade *dink dink*. Then the swordsman got an idea and plunged his blade into the macaw's shoulder "one. two THREE" he said stabbing at his attacker. The beast screeched opening his maw and smacking the swordsman away. the swordsman crashed into the ground letting out some tears of pain as he tried to stop the bleeding on his arm. he plunged his sword into the ground and suddenly his muscles tightened around the wound and the bleeding stopped. "I will slay you," he said taking out a giant breaker blade from the ground. He stopped. the macaw screeched louder and louder and then he didn't. The swordsman stared at the sight of a woman with a scalpel removing the macaw's organs "fascinating just fascinating" the bird beast was splayed and pinned to the ground with a giant syringe inserted into his head. standing atop the beast was the guard from the lobby.
I stepped out keeping my gun trained on the swordsman and backing toward the guard. "oh hey it's you again, the AKA from the lobby." she said pulling her goggles up off her eyes. "what's your name again". "AKA Judas I’m trying to find my group, I need to get to level 4 but the floor reinforced itself after two unknown individuals broke into level 4." I said "that complicates things," she said stomping the ground "AKA Judas, I’m platoon leader of the level 3 guard Dr. Meredith Insano Ph.D. nice to meet you. don't worry about him, he's with me. we're actually on our way to level 4 you can tag along.". "wait you said don't trust the prisoners, how can we trust him," I said confused "hey dummy was I talking to me or was I talking to you? besides Adrian is harmless, to me anyway," she said nonchalantly. Adrian waved at me smiling and said "sup dude". I stared at them in disbelief tucking away my gun and shrugging following suit.
The Dr. input the code and scanned her hand into the pad then the doors opened slowly. "finally, we've been waiting on our ticket out of here." a towheaded blue and red lizardman wearing a crown stepped out from behind a pillar." we need that one." he said pointing at the Doctor. "not happening" I said firing at his head he parried the bullet with a large sword made of crudely melted down blades he must have found. He crawled up the wall flinging sharp objects like needles and knives. He threw himself in the elevator as the door closed on his tail and legs. I fired at him but he became invisible. “Camouflage,” I said annoyed. The space in the elevator was pretty big about 15 feet in height and 50 feet of space. Adrian traced the room dragging his sword along every space of the wall. I didn't have my gear so I was at a loss. The Dr. was completely unbothered by our straggler pulling needles out of her face. “It doesn't matter, he dropped his sword and is regrowing his legs he's not a threat right now. I painted a line around me and a line on the roof above me. If he crossed that circle in either direction he would give himself up. Not full proof but just for my peace of mind.
I sat down and wondered what we might meet in level 4.