Hi -- to forewarn, this a long story that contains... a LOT. There is also a lot of background. Sorry for that.
To give some background, my (27F) father (65M) is very possibly dying from metastatic lung cancer. We found out less than three weeks ago. It has been very stressful for the family and emotions are not exactly level at the moment. I acknowledge that we are all very stressed. It is probably a large contributor to what went down.
So... Given that this is a three-day weekend and we are trying to do more as a family with whatever time we have left, we planned for a small family gathering. Me, my (ex?) fiance (27M), my dad, my mom (68F), my sister (29F), my cousin (38M), and my 2nd cousin (a minor).
Now, this is very important -- Everyone is the household has a dog. My parents have two dogs, one large (2-ishM) and one small (10-ishM). There is also my dog (7M). All of these dogs have met and get a long great and never had issues.
My cousin's dog (2-ishF) and the other dogs have never met. We planned to introduce them in the front yard of leashes and hope for the best. My sister's dog (2-ishF) cannot be around my parent's small dog because of aggressive issues from sister's dog. My sister's dog has undergone "training" to calm her anxiety and behavioral issues, but it has had minor success. The first introduction between my dog and my sister's dog was botched because of a planning issue caused by all sides. My dog holds grudges, so the next controlled introduction was also a failed attempt, and we have avoided having them near each other ever since.
We introduce the dogs. There's teeth and barking, but eventually everything calms down. Once inside the activity picks up. The little dogs start to retreat. It is extremely over stimulating for everyone. My dog retreats to a corner and settles for barking. There is some baring of teeth and lunging involved, too. After the third time of my dog displaying aggression for the cousin's dog, we removed him from the situation.
Eventually, after everything had quieted down a little bit, the dog bones picked up, the dog food removed, and everyone had gotten most of their ya-ya's out, we introduced my dog back to the situation. It was fine, for the most part. We tried to let them figure out the "pecking order" and sometimes that means things getting a little ugly and toothy, but the scuffles were brief.
Now, it is important to mention that my cousin is not staying in my parent's house. Me and (ex?) are, my 2nd cousin is, but my cousin has a bus he uses as a primary residence (go bus/ van life) and so he is staying in there with his dog.
Me and (ex?) run out to go to the gym, the store, and then my sister asks us to go to her house to help with something, which we do. At the point of us leaving that AM, everyone besides my parents were asleep. We get back about two-hours later. At the point when we return, my cousins are awake, the four dogs are all together, and I ask how everyone is getting along. I'm told everyone is fine with each other and that there have been no altercations. The dogs were even laying together for a moment. Me and (ex?) are told to hurry up and get showered and come back down, because we were late for breakfast, and it was getting cold.
We go, shower, get dressed.
(Ex?) goes down first, and comes back a few minutes later saying our dog is bleeding.
Apparently everyone downstairs is saying he banged his head into a table, and it must have happened from that. (Ex?) brings our dog upstairs, and it is very apparent that the bleeding is NOT from running into a table. There are at least four visible puncture wounds from a dog bite on his face. One gusher above his eye (1/2 inch), two superficial bites next to the big one around his eye, and one next to his mouth. My cousin's dog is bigger than our dog. His dog's mouth could absolutely fit most of my dog's head in it.
It is also relevant that my cousin made numerous comments the previous night about his dog being an alpha. He said that she has been known to, "put other dogs in their place" while at the dog park. He did not say any of these ended badly or bloody.
I will also mention here that I know my dog probably antagonized the situation by being a little shit. I know I should have just trusted my gut and removed him from the situation entirely. These are things I am aware of and things I regret.
At this point, we hear my sister come into the house with her dog, and it is pretty apparent that this arrangement is not going to work.
This only adds stress, but it’s not pressing. What is pressing is the fact that the puncture above my dog's eye is still bleeding, that it is larger than a superficial wound, and that I don't want it getting infected and it is a holiday weekend. I text my boss pictures of the bite and ask her to ask her vet if she would advise an emergency trip to the vet, and her vet responds that the bite would probably form an abscess before the weekend was over. So, that was our answer.
We take our dog to the emergency vet. All in all, it takes nearly seven hours. Our dog ended up having to have a sedative and five sutures over all (including two in his ear, which we hadn't previously noticed). We kept being told by the vet that it shouldn't take more than an hour, so we waited. Traffic in that area is BAD. I mean, it took thirty-minutes to go two miles, so we figure it best to wait for him instead of getting into traffic twice to go to my parents' house (20 mins away) and back. During this time, my sister is calling me asking me to run errands delegated to her, my mom is texting and calling asking for status, me and (ex?) had been holding it together pretty well, for the most part. That is until the wait started to get to us, and the constant pings from our phones, and my anxiety and stress about my dad, and my (ex?)’s anxiety and stress about the dogs (he was saying it was he thought it best to take our dog home, which means he would go home, and I know that would upset my dad, so I tell my mom ahead of time)...
Anyway....
After the seven hour wait, we finally get to go back to the house.
Now -- here's the real story now that the brief (HA!!) background has been established.
I call my mom on the way and ask what the current dog situation is, and what the plan is to avoid any more confrontations. Now, me and the (ex?) already discussed that we need to alternate my cousin's dog being in the house and my dog being downstairs. My cousin's dog lives in his bus, so we think that she needs to be in the bus half the day to let our dog be with everyone inside, and then the other half we would put our dog upstairs and let his dog be with everyone. As always, we think my sister's dog just shouldn't be there at all.
My mother pleasantly informs me that "all the big dogs are getting along GREAT!" She says that the plan is to keep all the big dogs outside together, and the little dogs sequestered together inside upstirs. I inform her that it will be raining, and therefore the big dogs cannot stay outside all day, and there is no way that I am OK with my dog being isolated while the other dogs are there barking and playing. She repeats her previous plan, and this is where I kind of lose it, because I'm not here to manage doggy daycare. I'm here for my dying father, and I have seen him for maybe a few hours total and the other time has been spent stressed about dogs.
All the rage and frustration boils to the top, and I go off. I tell my mother that if this was her plan then (ex?) would just take the dog home. She eventually concedes and says that we can do the alternating, but at this point I do NOT trust that this will actually happen. There is a lot of yelling going on, and there is still the variable of my sister's dog (who is still at parents' house). It is too much. I have had enough. I tell my mom that we will just go home if her plan is to keep ALL FIVE dogs on the same property. She explodes on me saying that was my plan from the beginning (mind you, I have been trying for a solid week to help coordinate everyone being there together and brought enough supplies and clothes to last me more than a week. I had planned activities to keep 2nd cousin busy, and there were meals planned as a family -- I, in NO way shape or form, had ANY intentions of dipping on this get together. I am pissed.)
Once I get back to their house, (ex?) stays in the car with our dog, and I run in to get our stuff. I am met with a barrage of blame and accusations as soon as I'm through the door. I am told that this dog bite situation was my fault for leaving my dog downstairs while I took a shower, that my dog was "under-socialized and aggressive." Mind you, my parents both love my dog and frequently have commented on what a good boy he is for the last SEVEN years. Never once mentioning that he was UNDERSOCIALIZED or aggressive. He's a prima donna, sure. He has had moments where he'll lash out when uncomfortable or feeling threatened by another dog, but he has, not ONCE, bitten anything or anyone, or even come close to it. He gets along with my (ex's) families dogs. All of them. And there's a lot.
He has only had two aggressive interactions. With my sister's dog through the fence, which everyone should share blame in, and now my cousin's.
There is a lot thrown around. My sister is smiling and mocking me about wanting everyone together.
My sister fuels the fight, smiling the whole while, and my mother regurgitates sentences that I know aren't coming from her.
It is obvious that there had been discussions that I was not privy too (because I have been stuck in an emergency vet for seven hours), and that everyone (barring the minor cousin and idk about my dad) has come to the conclusion that I am the villain in this scenario and that everything is my fault.
I am in a blind rage at this point. I feel like I am a dog backed into a corner, and everyone is yelling. I am probably yelling the loudest, because I just feel like I have not been heard since getting there. I wanted to keep the dogs separated from the first indication of trouble, and then was told I was overreacting. I specifically said that this would turn very ugly, and was then mocked by my cousin and mom as being overprotective and like a Karen in a dog park, who would jump in between fighting dogs to pull their dog out.
I feel sick at this point. I feel like my back is about to crumble and my head is going to explode. At one point, as I am putting my stuff outside so I can grab my shoes, I come back in to them saying something I can't put together, but I hear my sister say, "Shush! She's coming back" -- and that damn smile is still on her face. I tell my dad I'm sorry, that I would come back to pick him up and bring him to my house, I tell my 2nd cousin the same thing, and then I leave. There is a moment in-between there where I do slam the front door back open, and I admit to putting a hole through the closet door with the doorknob. That's my bad.
I am still fuming while in the car. I tell my (ex?) that when he went back inside to retrieve something he should have defended me, at least a little. Said that the fight was unnecessary on both sides. Something. Especially since I had spent the majority of the afternoon trying to calm him down (he doesn't rage like I do, his is quieter and filled with more anxiety that clouds his ability to think). I called my mom on his urging to begin with. I was just going to go inside and put the other dogs away, smuggle our dog inside and upstairs, and deal with the planning part afterwards. But (ex?) has diagnosed OCD, so sometimes going with the flow is the best option. So I did. I tried, at least.
During the ride back, my (ex?) boyfriend decides out of the blue and without saying anything to me to call my mom, tell her that he doesn't want to associate with them anymore, and that he doesn't plan to see them every again. Yes. We can all agree how childish that is. He would agree too. My terminally ill father is yelling and cussing him out in the background, and my (ex?) clarifies that he would have liked to see my father, but if he doesn't want to see him that that's what it is. My family is complicated. There is a lot of past trauma to unpack, but to put it simply my dad is the most unreasonable person sometimes, but also the one that I get along with the best. My (ex?) also agrees with that.
The call ends. I comment (because I just can't help myself) and tell him how stupid that was. I am in that rage-mode where everything I say is super calm and super condescending. (Ex?) says that I wanted him to defend me, so that's what he was doing.
My (ex?) then decides to take this as a very opportune moment to tell me that he had spent the previous week contemplating breaking up with me. Mind you, that Friday, the Friday that we went to my parents' house, was our eight year-anniversary.
I am mind-boggled.
I continue to drive and the hate in me grows a little more with every mile we go.
Eventually, I hear my (ex?) talking, but I know it's not meant for me. He has called my mom to apologize for everything, for the things that he said. He is the one crying now. Balling. He is so emotional with the things he's saying that I am forced to pull off the highway and into a gas station because the tone makes me uncomfortable to be in a moving vehicle. That was me projecting, but still...
He continues the conversation, continues the apologies, and then says, "I was in a no-win position and being told I didn't defend her (me) and so I called and made the worst mistake of my life."
Naturally, I am beside myself. I feel betrayed. I feel crazy. I feel so outside my body.
To be clear, I never once told him to call her. I just wanted him to defend me, because we both were in agreement about the situation and that their plan on how to handle to dogs was wrong. He was the one pushing the idea that my family was in the wrong.
There is a lot said afterwards. Nothing matters, at this point. He ends up calling my mom again (this time on my urging) to say he was apologizing for what he said on the phone, not the situation as a whole. He says he wasn't taking sides. He stops his conversation more times than I can count to ask me if that was what he was supposed to say. I am livid. I feel disgusting. I tell him repeatedly that I am NOT putting words into his mouth and that he is an adult and can speak for himself. He then proceeds to basically have a conversation with my mother in which he outlines the reasons why me and him may not be together anymore, and how we want to different things, etc...
I'm disassociating out of my body while going 70mph down the interstate in the rain, forced to listen to this conversation coming from the back.
We argue. I drive. He asks me to make permeant decisions about us and that he's going to quit his job and go back home to live with his parents if we aren't together. I tell him I am not continuing this discussion while under duress. He continues to ask. I continue to drive. I scream. It gets quiet.
We don't talk the rest of the drive. We only talk about the dog while we get him situated at the house. My (ex?) starts crying. I don't have the energy to cry..
We have spent the day isolated and away from each other. I have not spoke with my family. I don't know if I will ever again. My sister sent me a text of the door with the hole and a smiley face.
I feel like my entire world just crumbled at once.
I don't know where or who to turn to in this scenario. I feel the lowest and loneliest I have ever felt in my life.

I have a bizarre starting problem with my 1998 toyota 4runner. 315 000 miles
The problem goes something like this, and its been going on for 2 years now. Between WFH and having a second vehicle I dont drive it much but I have experienced the following problems.
First, this only occurs when the ambient temperature is below 60 degrees F and the vehicle is cold.
I start the vehicle, and the vehicle starts normally. I drive for a short cycle, example, to the gas station near my house.
I turn off the vehicle. The vehicle now refuses to start for anywhere between 15 minutes to an hour but typically around 15 minutes. By no start I mean, the starter does not fire and the engine does not crank.
After it sits, it starts normally. If I drive long enough for the engine to reach operating temperature, again, normal behavior. When the ambient temperature is above 75 degrees F, it does not occur either.
This winter, it refused to start at all during a period of cold weather. I replaced the starter with a remanufactured DENSO starter. The issue appeared solved. The starter contacts were worn. Ok, no problem.
Issue returns. I replace the battery and starter relay last month (battery tested bad, however, I have been through three batteries now with this problem, relay contacts were very worn). Issue appears solved. Now, it has returned on my camping trip where the weather is cold at higher elevation. I cant replicate it at home because the weather is too hot now.
Im at a loss. It's clearly an intermittent connection somewhere. The starter relay is clicking when I turn the key, but the starter does not crank. I dont know where to look at this point short of shotgun replacing parts. Im suspecting its a bad ground/battery cable.
There is an aftermarket alarm system installed by the previous owner in the vehicle. Im not sure if that could cause the problem or not. I need this vehicle to be reliable, I take it into the backwoods pretty regularly.
Where do I start? I ruled out anything in the circuits for the ignition switch because it appears that the relay is firing during the no crank periods.
Thanks.

Hi, I was together with my gf for a little bit over a year. there is 2 years difference between us, I'm 20 and she's 18. We truley loved eachother. We had better and worse times in our relationship but we had very healthy relationship (at least I think). Last two weeks have been rough for me. I realised in how much trouble I am on my studies and my psychic health was very low. I got very dissapointed in myself after overthingking everything bad that is currently happening to me. It all started whem my gf went to bigger city for a students whole week party. She has older sister and brother in that city so she wasn't alone. When she got there I of course felt a little bit jealous because i knew most of the students there want just to hook up and that's all. I always trusted her and I know she would never cheat on me so it was calming me down. Problem was when she was there we didn't talk much. Of course as everyday I wrote her a goodmorning message and a few goodnight messages. During the first day we didn't even talk much but i get it, she was partying hard and at the end she apologized to me but she was exhausted and told me we will talk the other day. What made me very sad and started my mental breakdown was that in the next couple of days she was responding even less than in the first day. I hate when she is online doesn't read my message and then answears it after few hours but when i answear immediatley she still responds after few hours. I stopped texting her first so we nearly didn't talk at all. One day all our messages were my messages saying goodmorning and then goodnight. After she came back I already felt bad with myself and we talked a bit but she had to rest so another day passed. After she rested she told me she has to cry after what happened on her trip and that she doesn't want to talk about it with me. Of course I felt very sad that there was something which she was not telling me but as I always do I did not ask her about what she was crying. Thing that made me even more sad is that after coming home we barely talked but she immediatley met with her best friend (who is a guy that I was and still am a little bit jealous). In the couple next days we were talking a bit more but it was clear that i felt bad and she realised that she tried to help me. The problem was that i didn't know if i want her help because i don't remember the last time i felt that bad and in my entire life i was always dealing with my mental problems by myself. However after we talked for a bit i felt better. Next day. We were still talking about how i feel, she was trying to make me feel better. While talking she sent me by accident message to someone else that was saying if they can meet some other day to clear something out. I obviousley didn't know who was that message to and what was it about but it made me nervous as for the first time in my life i was afraid she actually betrayed me. After talking about this she told me she met a guy there. A 5 years older guy that she liked by his looks. She told me that when she looked at him she felt something she didn't feel for a long time. I got heartbroken. She still didn't want to talk about it until we meet. When we finally met she already told me that she wants a break. After talking she told me that she liked that guy, that he tried to frenchkiss with her but she didn't want to and that they were sleeping in one bed because there was no other place to sleep. She also told me she gave him a small kiss during some drinking game. I got very jealous as I would never kiss anybody else while we are together. It doesn't matter they were playing some stupid game, she coul've just said that she has a boyfriend and doesn't want to do that but she told me that for her it's not a cheating. She told me that she needs break from us being boyfriend and girlfriend but she still wants to have contact and meet but just like normal friends. It was yesterday. Tonight it suddenly came to me that we are no longer together because even to we agreed we have a break we still acted like a couple( we kissed and a little bit more but not too much). Now I think about all that and I have no idea if she will want to be with me again. I spoke with my bestfreind nad she opened my eyes about how she treats me. Of course noone is perfect but I was willing to do anything for her. I did all I could to make her happy but now I realised I was being treated not in the way i wanted. I told her multiple times that on her instagram )or any other social media) there were no pictures of us together. She told me that she doesn't add pictures with other half because she doesn't like to. I understood that but she adds pictures with other guys that are her friends or like in this case she added a picture with a bunch of guys she met that are mostly her sister's freinds i feel less important than them. I got rly hurt after she uploaded pictures from her 18th birthday party. There were pictures of every single person that was on this party except me. I even took one or two pictures that she added. We don't hold hands together while in public or don't show we love eachouther in public in any other way. I dont like seeing couples kissing on the streets so i get why we dont do that but holding hands is something we were doing at the beggining of our relationship, now we dont do that. She changed her wallpaper from picture of us to some random picture which is also weird because she was the first one to set picture of us on her wallpaper and seeing how happy it made her i did the same and only changed it with different photos of us. There are things like going for a bicycle that she is afraid to do with me but loves to go with her male bestfreind. She is also afraid to go anywhere where we will be alone ( like somewhere on holidays or any other free time we have). She doesn't want to visit me on my studies. We also never had sex. It's not hurting me that much because she told me that she wants to wait to be sure and so that she wont regreat anything but its been more than a year and i was sure i wanted to make love to her. Not only because I love her looks but i love entire her and being so close to the person you actually love must be amazing. Now we have break and we are supposed to act like friends but I am starting to think if this was truley healthy relationship. I told her about some issues multiple times and she didn't change a thing. I want a random person to look at this and tell me what do they think about it all. I just can't see clearly because I still love her and I don't want to abandon her but I don't know if it has sense or if she won't abandon me.
Sorry for bad english btw
oh and also i forgot and now i dont know where should i put this. I always pay for ewerything. It does hurt because i don't have time to work myself and i hate when my parents give me money but if not that money i know we wolnd't spend a lot because she is not the richest person i know and she thinks everything is a waste of money. So when i have to chose between spending money and making her eat or drink something or not it's obvious I want best for her, even if it means I have to spend money everytime we see. I also pay for gas to my car because to meet i have to drivearounf 45 km in one way.
Now i see that even asking total strangers on the internet what they think about it made me feel a bit better

I'm a 22-year-old accounting associate currently working for a real estate company. Initially, I had a strong dislike for accounting and tax courses, and I vowed to steer clear of them. However, a few months before completing my four-year finance degree, I realized that I had only taken online courses and lacked practical experience through internships. Despite this, I did have some work experience in financial reporting thanks to management roles at a gas station and Amazon.
To be honest, I was disappointed with my education as it didn't seem very useful at all. At the time, I was working as a front desk staff for the same company. I noticed that there was an opening for an accounting associate position, so I applied and, after four interviews, I was fortunate enough to secure the role. After six months of working in this position, I found myself enjoying accounting and seriously considering it as a long-term career option—an uncertainty I struggled with in the past.
As I continue to explore various accounting paths, one aspect that caught my attention is the requirements for different roles. I sit next to a senior property accountant who earns $100,000 without holding a master's degree or CPA certification. I assist him frequently and feel confident in my ability to perform similar tasks. He mentioned that he previously worked at IBM as a property manager and took Bulma accounting courses offered by the company.
My question to you all is this: considering my current position as an accounting associate in a real estate company with $2 million in assets under management, would you recommend pursuing further education by obtaining a master's degree in accounting and becoming a CPA in order to advance my career? I figure that if im around good worker I can learn from the enviroment and build my skills instead of having to go to school and pay a lot more money. Alternatively, should I explore opportunities at higher-level positions in different organizations, or should I consider staying in my current role while acquiring more education? Is the investment of time and money truly worth it, especially since similar results may be achievable without these qualifications? I'm aware that there are debates regarding the average salaries for those with a master's degree in accounting or a position at a Big 4 firm, ranging from $40,000 to $65,000. Where were you when you were in your early 20s in the accounting industry and how did you manage to effectivtly be more valuable to these companies?

So, I, 17M, have been looking for a new place to work after I quit my old job. I live in a pretty out-of-the-way place, so finding somewhere local is pretty difficult. That's why I was very happy when I found an opening at a nearby gas station (20 min drive- very nice considering the nearest city is over an hour away).
I got the owners phone number though one of the employees, then sent her a message- as you do. I listed prior job experience, when I'll be available, some of my skills and stuff like that. Things you usually do when applying for a job. After that, I had a therapy session-- Towards the end of the session, she said she'd send me a message to schedule the next meeting, as the receptionist was sick that day.
Okay, fair enough.
​
I received a message not long afterwards- unnamed number, asking if we could meet up a week or so later. I, having forgotten that I'd sent the owner of the gas station a message, assumed it was my therapist. I'm usually very informal when messaging, and since i saw no need to be formal with my therapist, i asked if she was available later- since i had a 'dumbass fucking exam to take care of'.
She says she'll be gone for a week or so, but she will reach out to me again later.
​
..I get an appointment time from the receptionist. I assume she just picked a day that worked for her, and showed up.
A few weeks later, i realized the lady from the gas station never got back to me. I looked for her number- but couldn't find it anywhere in my recent messages. ...Okay, odd, but whatever. I clicked the number i got from the gas station employee, and see that its saved in my phone as 'therapist homegirl'.
...Okay. Phone must be glitching, i assume.
​
I click on it, then scroll up, wanting to see what was going on; were they the same person or something? Then, i see it. My credentials, then her asking if we can meet.
ME BRUSHING HER OFF WITH CURSE WORDS.
​
i am cringing right now. no wonder she never reached back out.
​
TL;DR: I apply for a job, then mistake the potential employer for my therapist. I proceed to say things that are not very work-friendly.

History: Scapegoat of dysfunctional family; alcoholic dad, abusive mom, vile manipulative sister; parents now divorced. I’m married w/kids, better relations w/parents, mom bonded w/my kids. She is ill, made me EOE & power of atty; sister furious, trying to change her mind, ruin our relationship; she recruited our toxic, rich alcoholic aunt to help her, tactics include verbal abuse, alienation, exclusion from holidays, family events.
2 mos ago sister proposed we visit Graceland w/mom. I agreed for mom’s sake. Sister commandeered planning of entire trip. I had no say. She booked Airbnb, not hotel we discussed, she decided we would rent a gas hog, drive the 8 hr trip instead of flying. She gave me an itinerary full of activities & dining all chosen by her. Said we were splitting all costs 3-ways & that she needed my share in advance. I sent the money.
Last week mom & sister sprung on me that toxic aunt was coming on the trip. I asked, “How long have you been keeping this from me?” After an extended pause mom said, “All along. She was always coming on the trip we just didn’t want to tell you.” I looked at my smirking sister & said, “Do you think you should have mentioned this to me BEFORE I gave you $900 that you claim is 1/3rd of the total cost?” “Do you think you should have mentioned this to me so I could decide for myself if I wanted to travel with her?” No response.
Later she said let’s bring stuff to make fajitas the last night in the Airbnb instead of going out. I said, “No, I don’t want to drive 8 hours with raw chicken & beef & then cook it 3 days later. Also, mom can’t eat anything spicy.”
Next day she texted mom & me, “We’re going ahead w/fajitas on the last night. You each need to bring 3 or 4 items from the ingredient list.” I looked at the list, saw my aunt had already chosen to bring salsa which meant they already planned to do it whether I agreed or not. I responded, “I’m opting out of the fajitas. I’ll do my own meal that night.”
Mom was texting at the same time asking what kind of cheese to bring.
My sister replied, “Mom. Your other daughter does not want to participate in this. Please text me about this privately.”
That was the last straw. I texted back, “Your other daughter does not want to participate in the trip either.” “I was lied to for 2 mos & only told the “truth” AFTER I had paid in full.”
Her reply: “I think because you lie constantly and always have, you assume that everybody else does, too. We don’t.”
I said, “That’s an odd response, given you are the one who lied.”
She let loose w/the line she had likely been prepping for weeks, “Given your shit attitude, it is best that you don’t go and not ruin the trip for everyone else.”
My final reply, “Ah, yes. Classic narcissist move. You were deliberately deceptive, yet I’m to blame for having a poor attitude that will ruin the trip for others.”
During this mom texts me, “DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME?”
I turned off my phone.

My wife (31f) and I (29f) are due with our baby in early November. I’m carrying the baby if that matters.
Being due around the holidays, it’s already been decided we will not travel out of state to see our families, so they will be coming to us this year. My family (mom, dad, sister, BIL and nephew) will come for thanksgiving. They live within driving distance, so I’m my mind they’re less likely to be exposed to an illness on their travel. They’ll be in their car, maybe a quick gas station stop to use the restroom and back to the car.
My wife’s family live further and typically fly to see us. They will be coming for Christmas (MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL and 2 nephews). I can’t shake the feeling that them flying and then meeting my 6ish week old baby is going to get my baby sick. Flying seems so germy, your in an airport with a ton of strangers and then trapped on a tiny plane with who knows how many sick people.
Every time I bring this up to my wife, she just assumes I’m saying this because I have a bit of strained relationship with her parents. I do want them to be able to meet their grandchild but I’m just so nervous about exposing our child to germs, especially during cold/flu season.
Am I being unreasonable? I’ve told her we will be asking them to wear masks, which she seemed okay with, but our 2 nephews are too young to wear masks.
I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or validation of my feelings but it turns into a fight anytime we bring up the holidays.

Hi everyone! I’m visiting a friend from McGill in Montreal due to the US long weekend and was wondering if anyone was driving down to New York City/Manhattan on Tuesday or Wednesday? I will split or cover gas and bring snacks as well.
I have joined multiple Facebook rideshare groups but they seem to be populated by bots and a couple of the people I’ve messaged through them are a bit suspicious.
I have also researched taking a train or the trailways bus, as I wanted to take a more scenic route back. But I have heard mixed reviews on the train and am familiar with the unpleasantness of the Albany bus station. However, if anyone on the subreddit could provide a ride, as it may be faster than going through customs on a bus or train.

So I ran throneofsalt micro scenario #1 this weekend for two of my players since our third player is sick and our 4th player is out. Since he said nobody had run one yet, here's my breakdown of how it went + what we added / removed to make it work! Also this was the soundtrack blasting during the entire session.
This is a long write up. Read it if you're bored at work.
https://throneofsalt.blogspot.com/2021/09/minimalism.html - The scenario
So with one of my players out and one sick, we had to reduce the number of people in the car down to two, the driver still high as fuck, and the passenger, wounded and bleeding amber liquid. Our sick player wanted to participate so he was "the guy on the phone" they could call to get SIGINT type stuff done. The game was done with new characters that they wanted to introduce to Iconoclasts, so I told them if they survived we could roll them into that upcoming campaign. Since it begins with a bang, we ran it as a very action heavy game with very little breathing room, as befits the original text.
So some changes / additions to make it work. Since we needed something chasing them, and a reason that one of the players is high as fuck, we had them playing as undercover FBI types that DG sent to investigate a sort of neo-nazi germanic inspired biker gang (Czernobog's Chosen) in Albuquerque NM. It fits with the chanting head idea, and also why one of them is super high (forced to take drugs to prove they totally aren't a fed), and why one is injured (shot as they tried to escape with the head). This also gives us a great set of threats to chase the players as they try and bomb down the highway at 120+ mph to get to Truth or Consequences NM, where DG has told them a greenbox awaits that will definitely have something to solve this problem.
So our two players are Agent DRACO (CIA Special Operations) and Agent URSA (US Army Medic), with Agent POLARIS (NSA) on the phone.
What followed was an awesome high speed chase down the highway, fighting off a biker gang armed with shotguns and pistols. The players made numerous navigation checks / drive checks, stealth attempts to throw off their pursuers. To keep action up and to keep the session short since it was a filler action game between our main sessions, I had the bikers all be sort of linked to the unnatural chanting head that was in the trunk and drawn to it so the players could avoid them, but not totally escape them. I also incorporated the blue white lights in the distance to be an unnatural storm also associated with the chanting head that approached and then centered over them to make their checks harder and keep things moving.
They swapped cars twice, once after a crit fail driving check lost their first ride at a big gas station, stealing the first car they could find and losing a tiny amount of SAN from helplessness. Agent URSA decided to try and deal with the chanting head thing and failed a SAN check while dealing with it and we decided he started seeing hallucinations that reinterpreted events around him as Norse / Germanic Myth. I've used this style of hallucinations in another game before and folks always enjoy having their characters seeing weird stuff and trying to deal with it.
The second car they actually had the great idea to call Agent POLARIS and have them search DMV records for a "fast car" and "one that has registered firearms would be great". They found a guy with a decently fast muscle car they could use to hopefully push around bikers and also the guy owned guns so they figure "lets rob him real fast". Queue our high on amphetamines Agent breaking into the place, successfully stealthing the keys and then deciding "lets push our luck". Massive fumble on stealth check leads to a shootout with an armed civilian defending his house, killing that guy and leaving tons of evidence behind for future problems. They definitely lost SAN for that one.
Agent POLARIS helps them avoid some ambush attempts by the bikers, and also helps coordinate highway patrol to take a few of them down. For the most part the players are doing pretty well. I wanted to throw just a little wrench in their plans though and when they drove through the national park right before the end of their journey I just had a plain old deer jump infront of the car. Failed driving check, failed luck roll, passed driving check, and then a 99 rolled for "hey did you put your seatbelt on earlier?" ended up launching the medic out of the car. The car survived, and our main driver only got shook up a bit, but the medic dies on impact with a rock. Bit tragic. But I was thinking about how the scenario wrote that one of the characters tried to commit suicide and failed earlier, and also that weird amber liquid instead of blood sooooooooo....
We decided Agent URSA now has a weird creeping amber "infection" that repairs his injuries, but calcifies that part of his body with amber. So basically, he's got no HP anymore, but is slowly being Amber-ified(?) and thats taking a toll on his SAN and overall just not a great thing to tell your bosses that kill Unnatural things. This let us keep the character, and have some interesting RP stuff to play out with the players that were missing this week.
Final part of the adventure and the climax of our chase ends up at a little shack outside Truth or Consequences, and of course our gang of unnatural bikers has to roll up for a dramatic showdown. Agent DRACO defends the house with their weapons they acquired from the place they robbed + what Agent POLARIS could stash. Agent URSA searches the green box and I used the greenbox generator to make a ton of weird stuff and shoved the item they needed into that and just let them start searching through it. Agent DRACO's extremely high shooting skill pays off and helps keep people at bay, though she ends the adventure with 2hp left (the rainstorm really helped keep the bikers shooting skill low so she didnt just get blown away). Agent URSA eventually located a Trepanning kit with weird germanic looking writing carved into it and Agent POLARIS assists in Trepanning our weird chanting skull, right about the time the Highway patrol respond to the shootout and help deal with the remaining bikers. One massive thunderclap later after a successful medieval surgical procedure and the players can breath easy.
They are able to HUMINT their way out of being instantly arrested using their cover story, but are unable to prevent the highway patrol from interviewing and capturing the wounded, amber-leaking bikers. DG has to send a cleanup crew a day or two later and the poor paramedics / patrolmen that responded to the scene met unfortunate ends. Agent URSA and Agent DRACO leave the country after leaving a fuckload of evidence behind that they probably shouldn't have. Caught on blurry cameras, probably some fingerprints, etc. It will bite them in the ass at some point. URSA lost enough san to gain the Delusion condition. POLARIS got away just fine. Czernobog's Chosen might show up in the future as well.
All in all, a really great 2 hour session for players that just wanted some quick action and gunplay since our normal party couldn't get together this week. Thanks for writing such a scenario with such cool vibes.
Also here's the Greenbox they left behind if anyone is ever running a mission in New Mexico and wants a Green Box.

• 1x Mossberg 870 with 24 buckshot shells
• 1x "Elephant Gun", 1 round
• 1x Trepanning Kit (Runic Carvings)
• 1x Flare Gun (2 flares)
• 1x Set of Nunchucks (?)
• 3x Authentic looking FBI Badges
• 1x Vial of unknown amber liquid (Do not Drink! written on the side) - Would probably infect player with same infection as above.
• 1x Ziploc Bag filled with white crystals labeled (JUST METH)

It’s no secret that lots of fans, in fact I believe the majority, think that GW removing the FTL for the Tau sometime after the 3rd edition was a dumb move, since, to be simple, you aint making a multi system empire without FTL travel, as well it makes things like the Damocles Crusade have a huge plot hole in that the Tau somehow win through reinforcements coming from their entire empire, despite lacking FTL.
The user Connor McLeod on Spacebattles made a detailed analysis on how the Tau FTL worked through editions, this is a simplified version, for the quotes he used are too big for a single reddit post.

The original theory (what may or may not be the ether drive, or also known as 'warp dives') came from Battelfleet Gothic - originally in BFG Magazines (I took mine from bFG Magazine 19) but got reiterated in BFG Armada:
BFG magazine 19 said:
The Tau were able to duplicate the warp drive of the alien ship but the initial test flights were disastrous. Achieving transition to the Warp required more than technology, it required psychically attuned minds and the Tau race boasted no psykers. Without them to guide the transition no amount of power could breach the dimensional barriers. The best the Tau could do was make a partial translation, forcing themselves into the void that separated Warpspace and realspace before they were hurled out again like a ball held under water then released.
..
The Water caste scientists made the observation that the boundary between real space and warp space was not a neat line. It was closer to being a turbulent ocean fomented by the tempestuous warp tides below. By carefully angling their descent toward the Warp and extending the field generated by the gravitic drive into a wing shaped to hold the vessel down, a Tau vessel could extend the duration of the dive considerably. The speeds achieved in the ascent back to real space were staggering and coupled with the effect of the Warp on time and space ensured that the real distance covered by the dive was immense. Early tests lost several drone ships because they inadvertently passed far beyond the sensor range of the recovery vessels.
...
There was still a major constraint, only the most powerful (and bulky) drives could sustain the gravitic wing throughout the dive and the power drain meant that considerable recharge time was needed between dives. Also by comparison to actually navigating the warp the pace was still very slow. Taking typical Imperial Warp speeds the Tau drive was slower by a factor of five. The speed was consistent though, did not expose the Tau to the perils of the Warp and enabled the Tau to expand beyond their home star for the first time.
This should be well established by know, and it's pretty self explanatory. But its worth revisiting for tying everything together because in many ways the FTL system incorporates multiple parts. One part was the Tau gravity drive. Another part was the ability to 'partially' enter the warp for the dive and maintaining that dive as long as possible. And its a process they kept improving on. On the surface of this the implication is that around or even before First Sphere they had FTL, whereas the earliest you could plausibly argue they MIGHT achieve warp diving in current fluff is by third sphere. At least, in widespread usage. You could certainly have the Tau experimenting with FTL (they experimented with Imperium warp drives in Crisis of Faith after all) and that goes back to previous spheres. We could in that respect view Tau propulsion advances to be incremental steps along that path to achieving true Warp drive (or something close to it - which may be what Fourth Sphere's slipstream is/was.) I'll touch more on that 'incremental' development' later.
BFG Magazine 19 said:
Waystations are distributed throughout the Tau Empire. They mark out the main routes between Tau septs and are used to speed communications between outposts.
This has nothing directly to do with FTL travel, except to mark/identify routes they use (and maybe facilitate those routes somehow) but it does mention that they have a role in communication. I'll touch on that after the FTL stuff, although it centers almost entirely around the Shadowsun novella.
BFG Magazine 19 said:
Unlike the Tau the Kroot are capable of true Warp travel but the exact method has been kept secret from their employers. To the Kroot, warp travel is almost migratory and they seem incapable of navigating anywhere other than systems with habitable worlds. It appears they are drawn to functioning ecosystems.
In alot of ways its belief-shaped (mass belief) and not unlike Orks and the way space hulks operated. It might explain why the Tau never found the Kroot's use of warp travel all that useful, since it seems like it would be potentially erratic or less precise than warp dives. Still, it makes no fucking sense for Kroot, Demiurg or other warp sensitive allies of the Tau to have FTL but the Tau don't, especially since many factions (including Kroot and Demiurg) contribute ships to Tau fleets!
Other later sources like Deathwatch Achius Assault carried that FTL over, and even suggested it was route based (or may have had an even longer rnaged, route based variation on the 'warp dive' that allowed Vellk'han sept to reach Jericho Reach:
Deathwatch Achilus Assault said:
The humans are not the only ones to explore the Black Reef and the Tau too have been sending scouts into its gravity ravaged depths. Less willing to needlessly sacrifice their warriors, the Tau have employed those aliens from their empire with an affinity for the void and a skill at space faring, such as the ethereal Ji'atrix and the void-dwelling Nicassar. More successfully than the Imperium, the Tau have mapped
a number of routes through the edges of the Reef, at least on their side of the anomaly, allowing their ships more tactical flexibility than those of their enemies and also allowing them to lay deadly ambushes within the edge of the Stygian Break.
The Tau also enjoy a rare speed advantage over the Imperium within the Black Reef as their unusual method of near-Warp travel works more effectively than completely entering the Warp and is less prone to disruption by the gravity storm.
I mentioned the White Dwarf's circa 6th edition which alluded to it, but you also had Storm of Damocles which also seems to reference Warp dives:
Storm of Damocles said:
LOCATION: CANNIS GAS CLOUD,
DAMOCLES GULF, 999.M41
Without psykers, the tau could not make translations into the warp, but they had learnt to make short hops through the edge of the immaterial and real space, sticking to pre-ordained 'stepping stones'. This particular transit point, deep in the Cannis gas cloud, was known to connect to the Sexton Sector. It was what the tau thought was a safe transit route, but its location had been known to the Deathwatch for some time.
...
As he spoke, the first of the tau ships seemed to pulse as it skimmed into the immaterium. In ten minutes they were all gone, and the space before them was empty once more, except for the light of distant stars.
This meant that -at least in certain incarnations - warp dives relied on certain routes/paths/points to travel along (adding a certain degree of predictability, not unlike the warp routes between star systems in BFG) - it can be thought that BFG might have applied those same limitations to other factions and their FTL (Necron inertialess drive, Tau Warp Dive/Ether drives) so this was always an 'intended' trait. It also makes it clear its far from instantaneous - it takes minutes to achieve the 'skip' and unlike 'true' warp translation there is no rift. Presumably the rift only occurs if you actually punch the hole through into the Warp - the 'interstitial' medium the Tau travel through might simply be thought of as temporal/spatial distortions (we know warp rifts can be temporal/spatial distortions too - one reason that translations to/from warp space can be so highly distorted by gravity and one reason why translations in-system close to planetary bodies are so hazardous)
Storm of Damocles said:
It was a week's journey back through the warp to Picket's Watch. A team of servitors re-established power for the databanks, repairing broken cables and then coaxing out the reams of tau information.
The Space Marines had little need for sleep. They worked constantly, comparing Imperial star charts to those of the tau, finding known points of reference, and slowly piecing together a picture of tau movements to and from the Agrellan Warzone.
..
When they had inputted it all, the holo-charts glowed with criss-crossing web-lines of xenos activity. Its scale and sophistication repelled them all. Supply hubs, refuelling stations, convoy protection teams, automated drone sentries, human worlds secretly compliant, all enabling the massive movement of the invasion fleet that had smashed through to Agrellan. Konrad located two new routes that had appeared only a Terran week before the appearance of the Stormsurges.
'This is how they are transporting their new battlesuits,' he said with grim conviction.
Again note that the use of routes and mapping is important for Tau Warp Dives circa 3rd sphere (Agrellan) and they are clearly covering many tens of light years in months at most. Indeed some 'routes' seem to involve a bare week difference implying transit speeds of many hundreds of c at a bare minimum. There's literally no way third sphere could play out as it did without FTL, so this is beyond dispute.
All the same, some materials try to dispute it. While the Codexes since 6th haven't explicitly forbidden FTL, the rulebooks were something of another matter. At least in 8th edition:
8th Edition Rulebook said:
Being a non-psychic race, the T'au have no understanding of the warp, so their star fleets travel at sub-light speeds. New technological innovations have steadily increased their range, allowing them to press ever further into the galaxy. Their Second and Third Spheres of Expansion were halted only due to the barrier of the Damocles Gulf and increased resistance from the Imperium of Mankind.
Making it a bit of a headache to tie together, but not impossible since there's no real context or detail attached to the comment.
Codex tau 8th said:
In order to reach those more distant systems earmarked as desirable by advanced scouts, the vast armadas of T'au spacecraft had been outfitted with the latest Earth caste modifications. The ships' propulsion systems were upgraded so that when magnified by impulse reactors, the engines could obtain faster speeds, propelling ships forwards at hitherto unthinkable velocities. To further lessen the burden on those space-faring craft with the longest journeys, the Earth caste had outfitted transport vessels with large stasis chambers, allowing Hunter Cadres or whole commands to shift to far distant battle zones months or years away without actually aging a day in the process.
This quote cropped up in 6th too, and it was hilarious then. The 'third' iteration with the impulse reactors boosting previous drive advances (namely, the horizon drive) sound hilarious. Impulse reactors push ships to 'unthinkable velocities' yet we already knew the supposedly 'sublight' Tau already achieved near-lightspeed. Getting nearer to lightspeed might provide some more relativistic effects to protect the crew a bit from the duration, but its not going to add jack shit to speed... unless you exceed the speed of light.
In keeping with that hilarious inconsistency, the Tau in fact do this multiple times since 6th. To wit:
Tyranid 6th said:
FLIGHT TO KE'LSHAN
Though the Tau fleet was pursued by dozens of bio-ships, only a handful of cadre vessels were boarded and destroyed before the Tau successfully punched through the Tyranid blockade. Unaffected by the Shadow in the Warp, the Tau's ZFR Horizon drives propelled their ships at near light speed through realspace, and arrived safely at Ke'lshan. It took the Tyranids many days to traverse the same span of space, and for the first time in months, the Tau hoped to have a chance to catch their breath and recuperate.
Yes. Their magical horizon drives actually allowed the Tau to [i[Outrun the Tyranids[/i] Now remember that while the Tyranids having warp drive post 5th was up for debate, they still had Narvahls so its baffling that the 'sublight' Tau could outrace an explicitly FTL race. Compoudning that hilarity is the timeframe - Hive Fleet
Warzone Damocles said:
Propelled at ever greater speeds by the latest Earth Caste impulse reactors, the vast armada of Aun'Va's Tau Coalition powered across the Damocles Gulf and into Imperial Space. The expeditionary force met little in the way of significant opposition, even from the Imperial worlds that rejected the offers of the Water caste's ambassadors.
This repeats the codex bits on impulse reactors, and as I said for Third Sphere and War Zone Damocles you pretty much need to be crossing tens or hundreds of light years in weeks or months... there's no way around it being FTL. The only speeds greater than near-c are going to be many time greater than c.
Given that we can speculate on a Tau drive (and FTL) progression that follows this pattern:
Tau FTL model
First sphere has them evolving the gravity drive as per BFG. This may or may not also result in the modifications that allow (retroactively) to swiftly colonize their immediate surroundings for the First sphere expansion due to weird properties (time/space dilation) and closely placed star systems
Gravity drive (first sphere). This could still result in the discovery of a crashed alien ship and its warp drive (and experiments into that technology) but nothing definite or widespread yet.
Second Sphere is where things start to get interesting. They expand further by charting routes through dangerous parts of their space (including the Damocles gulf) through trial and error. This could be the point where we actually get navigation into and out of warp rifts in some cases, and with others you simply have warped distances/pathways to travel along. This still allows them to be 'sublight' but achieve travel that doesn't take years or decades like it should.
Second sphere, however is where they start meeting the Orks and eventually the Imperium. They learn more about FTL drives (from Ork and Imperial vessels) and they perhaps begin to study the routes that permitted their swift journeys as well. Second sphere stretches out for some time and even the end is some distance into the future, so there is lots of time for additional advances. The Horizon drive would maximize their travel speeds - travelling as close to the speed of lgiht as efficiently possible means making the most out of not only navigating warp rifts but the routes as well. Other examples of this in action would be the Black Reef/Hadex anomaly from Deathwatch
Eventually they start tinkering with their drive system in other ways to achieve other effects. We can presume the grav drive is a factor in protecting them from the effects of the warp minus a gellar field (in conjunction with their low/nearly nonexistent warp souls) but the grav drive configurations may enable them to more effectively harness and shape the routes they take, and we get into the first steps of warp dives. They start out slow and less efficient at first, but over time they continue refining the process and making improvements (being able to maintain the dive for longer (Velk'Han and Deathwatch come in here.)
Eventually, they learn to artificially replicate the Warp Dive without being confined to routes - they still can't enter the warp and it may be slower than 'in-route' travel, but this allows them much more flexibility in expanding than they had. This may or may not be the 'impulse reactors' of third sphere - we might surmise these are sort of a weaker version of slipstream drive that only achieves the 'partial' translations. We might consider this the ether drive - the logical conclusion of their pre-Warp drive travel. Speeds may get closer to equalling 'average' warp travel (non Navigator) but its still potentially much slower than true warp drive even if they could maintain the dive indefinitely (which at that point, they might on at least some ships or in some locations) Smaller ships like the Manta can also be equipped with FTL drives now.
Third sphere ends with the conflagration fo the Damocles Gulf and the Tau can no longer bypass it effectively (We could surmise that any 'artificial' dives are too short ranged or slow to make this practical over reasonable timescales for the Tau to wage war. The fastest longest-ranged routes for warp-diving would be through the Gulf, much as travelling to Jericho Reach meant the Hadex anomaly and black Reef. The Tau cannot continue their progress until the creation of slipstream drive (the final evolution of the impulse reactors to emulate Warp drive without psykers or navigators) and that brings us to 8th and eventually 9th with the fifth sphere and the Startide Nexus.
And 9th edition brings us the promise of a sixth sphere expansion... courtesy of the slipstream drive:
Codex Tau 9th said:
"Or do we exercise our new-found reach to once again push beyond what the Gue'la call the Damocles Gulf, to reclaim the septs that were lost and drive deeper than ever into the western galactic reaches? Understand my guests,this is not some mere dream. Fio'vre Ka'buto and his scientists assure me that the modifications they have made to their original designs render the Slipstream module safer and more stable than ever before when deployed en masse. With such a device at our disposal, the stars are closer than ever, and oru duty to reach them clearer.'
El'Umeh couldn't believe what she was hearing.
The Sixth Sphere Expansion, she thought, light-headed with amazement. The Ethereal Supreme is considering the commencement of the Sixth Sphere Expansion, and he is asking for my Commander's thoughts on where it should occur.
Such a thing was unheard of. The battles of the Fith Sphere Expansion still raged beyond the Zone of Silence. O'Shaserra herself led the push to colonise new worlds and raise new septs beyond the fabled wormhole. El'Umeh was hardly in possession of all the data, yet she had the impression that the empire had expended vast resources already on gathering and launching that fleet. To think that it could muster a sixth expansion even while the fifth was still underway... had the scope and scale of T'au space truly grown so vast?
Setting aside the implication that the Tau are vast enough in terms of territory and industry to sustain two Spheres of expansion so closely together, we're told that they can now safely engage in large scale use of slipstream and derive the benefits of its speed in their expansion. No more limits to warp dives or ether drive. They could achieve something that matches at least some kinds of Warp travel.
This also makes clear that the Tau not only didn't lose slipstream travel with fourth sphere. It was simply limited in its scale of application. Single ships (or small numbers) might be able to harness it effectively and without danger - but large fleets (scores or hundreds) were dangerous. Now, that may no longer be so true, and that is a HUGE game changer for the Tau.
Another thing to consider is - as I said before - in many ways the 'Ether drive/warp dive' feature is describing the same essential capability, it just evolves incrementally with each step or including a new wrinkle. First you have the grav drive - which plays a role in maintaining the warp dive once they develop that technology and presumably protecting the craft and permitting some degree of navigating the charted routes in their domain. Then as per 6th you have the 'Horizon' drive which allows for rapid and effective near-lightspeed travel. If the routes allow for the warp to amplify sublight speeds into translight speeds, then maximizing your realspace speed would be the best way to optimize travel time.
Eventually late second/early third you're getting into the true Ether Drive/Warp Dives as outlined in BFG and the impulse reactor upgrade allows for that push for 'artificially' created routes/dives (and possibly leads to the truly long-distance travel like allowing Kel'Shan to reach Jericho Reach sector despite being potentially hundreds of light years away) - the grav drive helps to maintain the dive, the Horizon engines keep speed maximized during that dive. Despite being from different, unconnected sources, you can clearly treat each iteration as being an improvement of each technology, allowing the Tau to move that much faster until they reach the presumable endpoint (currently) with a fully fledged and potentially workable slipstream drive that can be utilized for large fleets - leading to Sixth Sphere.
****
Now we get to FTL comms courtesy of Shadowsun, last of Kiru's line:
Shadowsun last of Kiru's Line said:
'It is agreeable to see you, Shas'la,' she said. 'What is the status of our communications?'
Sabu'ro glanced at Kou'to before answering. The veteran's nod told him that it was all right to address Shadowsun directly.
'Commander,' he said proudly, 'we are fully capable. Local tightbeam and interplanetary tachyon arrays are both at one hundred per cent.'
'Are you able to contact the rest of the fleet?'
'It has already been done. All ships are holding at station-keeping eight light-minutes beyond il'Wolaho's moon, as per your previous instructions. Command of the armada has passed to Kor'el Kenhi'ta, who relayed the news of what transpired today to T'au via graviton data packet.' He smiled. 'After you last spoke to me, I made all vessels aware of your survival.'
'Was that news also relayed to T'au?'
Young Sabu'ro seemed confused by the question. 'Why would it not be?'
Shadowsun nodded, imagining what the reaction must have been back on the home world. First, news that a powerful warship had been destroyed with all hands lost. Then, later on, a second bulletin informing everyone that she and a handful of others were alive, but for the moment, non-recoverable. Shock, followed by sadness, followed by joy, followed by concern. The halls of the Aun't'au'retha, the supreme council of Ethereals who presided over the Empire, must have been uncharacteristically lively this day. Once again, she blamed herself.
...
'Commander, there's an incoming data packet addressed to you.' He passed the flex-screen to Shadowsun. 'A pre-recorded message of some kind, relayed through the fleet position.'
Il'Walaho was nearly one hundred and fifty light-years away from the heart of the Empire. Real-time communication over such distances was impossible, even for a race as technologically advanced as the tau. Shadowsun took note of the time stamp as the bundle of words and decompiled themselves; whatever the nature of this message, it had been sent while her fleet was in translation from T'au.
'It says here that this was made and received some time ago. Why am I only seeing it now?'
Sabu'ro shook his head as the recording began.
'O'Shaserra,' it said slowly and clearly, 'This is Aun'va speaking. As leader of the Aun't'au'retha, may I say that it brings great relief to all to hear that you have survived the destruction of your command vessel.'
We get reference to 'tachyon' communications (presumably the short-range/in system stuff) and the 'grav-wave' data packets. There are two distinct kinds of communication and calcs here but I'll indulge in a little speculation relating to Eye of Terror. A numbe rof sources (Eye of Terror website back in 3rd edition, the Deathwatch RPG) mention tachyonic bullshit, and its often tied to Warp phenomena (as is 'subspace' bullshit in the Hoare novels.) We also know that gravity and spatial distortions are closely related to warp phenomena as well. And as mentioned before, Eye of Terror indicated that in a warp-realspace interface 'lightspeed' signals (like photons/light) could be effectively translight. In that sense, we might consider 'tachyons' to be matter subjected to the translight properties of the warp, wheras grav packets might be some sort of weird modulated grave pulses that create a sort of warp 'dive' signal to relay data back to the destination (unless of course its a physical vessel. That's not clear.) It may even be that its a tachyonic signal that is manipulated the same way the grav drive helps maintain a warp dive.
Anyhow, bullshit speculatin over nature done, we go to the calcs. The first is for the ship-to ground communications which are almost or effectively instantaneous over an eight light minute distance (this will get reiterated later) and that plays out to around at least FTL communications speed of tens of c (call it 50c or so.)
The grav-packet takes longer, but it occurs well within the space of a day (twelve hours) and possibly as little as four to six hours (remember it started during morning, and now its afternoon to evening here.) so its clearly a matter of hours top, and less than a day at worst. For the message to cover 150 LY in one day (12 hours to 24) you get between 54,000-109,000c roughly. In 4-6 hours it would be more like 220,000-330,000c. That's slow compared to some and not suitable for FTL travel (even commercial astrotelepathy can cross 10-20 LY in around 11 minutes as per Eisenhorn, whereas others have realtime communication between two nearby systems and multiple light years. 1st edition has Astrotelepathy crossing 50,000 LY in seconds or minutes even, albeit with ten words or less.) But for the Tau? That's quite fast, esp considering their FTL (such as it is) would be orders of magnitude slower. Many times throughout her career, she had pictured the memorial they would erect of her on T'au following her death. It would be placed before the Mont'yr Battle Dome, of course, where it would stand among the other heroes of her people, immortalised in six-metre-high white marble. Along the base would read her accolades – Shadowsun, daughter of Kiru, hero of the K'resh Expansion War, scourge of the greenskin barbarians, bulwark against the hive fleets.
The K'Resh Expansion War was part of the Great War of Confederation which took place in 975.M41 and lasted a dozen years, meaning this is between the end of that (12 years later, or in 987.M41) and the start of 3rd sphere in 997.M41 - no more than a decade difference. Given that Third Sphere involved Aun'Va accompanying Shadowsun personally (As 6th edition outlines) from the Tau homeworld, that means Shadowsun made a round trip from the edge of the empire and back to pick up the Supreme leader (5 years both ways).

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Note: This is a series I want to create, centred around some given element or facet of worldbuilding and storytelling. Primarily, each post will either be a piece of hard science in terms of physics or logistics or otherwise core elements of the setting itself (such as military structure), or non-physical core elements of the people and their world (such as sports and personal enjoyment matters, for emotional regulation and social stability, among other reasons). In short: all the things that actually create a functional, realistic culture.
A random (meaning, I have just picked it at random for today), often overlooked element within space opera (and sci-fi in general) would be all things recreational. You might not find a good way to heavily feature this into your (say) novel, game, or screenplay, but it can be something to just touch upon, and have in your notes, as it will at least indirectly relate to the wider world you're building (so, it's worth knowing, as the author).
The logic is very simple: using humanity as a fundamental base (technically, an axiom), we can conclude that any humanoid or even alien species would have to gift themselves some kind of national sport, wargame, gambling system, or otherwise. The real-world examples literally encompass almost all of culture itself, making me believe that if your people are even remotely humanoid in their fundamental nature, then the recreational is a core facet of culture itself. This is so integrated into our real culture (rather, cultures) that we take it for granted, and don't even think about it when it comes to fiction-writing. But, it's a nice thing to add if you want added realism and stability, or an extra human touch.
For whatever reason, fantasy seems to feature invented sports and the like far more than sci-fi (unless such is the entire narrative of the sci-fi story, of course -- and, then, it's typically car-based). If we look to history, we clearly have the very creation of modern dice (India) as a gambling tool, and we have wargames (Go and Chess, etc.) as either direct military training tools (wargames proper), or abstracted wargames for more general use, since at least 3000 BC. Sports-wise, we see Blood Bowl (Warhammer fantasy sports game), Quidditch (fantasy; Harry Potter, which is akin to football mixed with netball in the air), and a dozen major examples from sci-fi, often featuring murder and cars (which we could see as a kind of replacement for the Roman and Greek sports), or else some kind of American sport hybrid. These include Real Steel, Futuresport, The Running Man, Rollerball, and Death Race (also, movies by the same names).
The aforementioned are obviously plot devices, and possibly don't have a place within your space opera setting and story. But, the fundamental drive and psychology are there. There are a few other examples from sci-fi board games and novels. Not to mention general sports and activities, such as Swimming.
Personally, I have made my national sport and recreation activity Swimming. The reason is four-fold: (1) it is a driver for both health and relaxation; (2) it can be social and peaceful; (3) for symbolic reasons; and (4) because there is likely not much water in space, yet humans still have a deep drive towards water (naturally, this is only applicable to any water-based culture, such as humans). It also occurs to me that water is a natural fitting for space, more so, if we take the TV trope, 'space is an ocean' (which does seem to be the natural categorisation, though it's not the only one). Another reason might be that it creates a reward system/social mobility, or at least the implication of such. Maybe, boarding a spaceship and taking a trip to the 'local' Swimming Centre is the week's holiday for your lower class people. On the other hand, maybe the high class types sit in Swimming Centres all the time. Not an uncommon trend throughout both fiction and history, as you might imagine.
That's just my own example, and may act as a springboard (no pun intended). You can justify dozens of real sports and otherwise activities, or invent your own. They may be readily accessible, or limited to certain classes of people or otherwise groups. There will likely be many different activities and sports for all your peoples, just as we see on Earth.
If you're writing a novel, just one trip to one sports centre or otherwise will do the trick, assuming you have planted in the reader's mind the notion that this is very normal and healthy for the culture/people. Best is to try and fit it into the wider plot, or else as a passing element (a few pages). One natural way to deal with this is to tie such into a wider theme or plot-point. Don't just have people randomly go Swimming just to inform the readers that they are Swimming. You need to work it in a bit better than that.
Depending on your culture, you may want a dozen violent/unhealthy sports and activities, or you (i.e. your culture's governing body, etc.) may only regulate more peaceful, healthy ones. I would try and tie this into the wider theme, anyway, and take into account the kind of people/culture you have. For example, you may or may not want Football with ant-like robots. On the other hand, bottle-tossing for big space Russians always sounds like a fun game.
If your culture is based on Americans or Hongkongian, for example, then you should think about their native sports and activities, and how that might fit into whatever you're doing with them in space/the future. Other than that, you need to consider the (a) disposition of your culture; (b) the history of your culture; (c) the function of your culture; (d) the state of your culture; and (e) the peoples of your culture. Although this is not an exhaustive list, it should suffice.
It also occurs to me, we just don't see enough sports in space outside of these movies/stories that are wholly dedicated to said sports, which is weird considering how sport-obsessed humans have become since 500 BC (but, especially since 1920 AD). This is often in relation to the ruling classes in rich, urban settings (cities/towns), or the average citizens in urban areas, finding a bit more free time on their hands (i.e. Scotland and England circa 1920 AD). Makes sense: you have bored, work-less nobles, or even workers with nothing to do. They need something to do; thus, they invented all sorts of games, wargames, and sports. You see this with horse-related games, ball-related games, and even something like fox tossing. Tennis was 'the game' (popular sport) of the middle classes and above by the 1880s through the 1980s (hence, most early video sports games of the 1950s through 1970s were all Tennis-based). Worth noting that most early video games were themselves sports games or wargames! Actually, most video games are wargames circa 2023 AD, with a vast number of the rest being sports. I stress this only to stress the importance of such things to human culture and entertainment... indeed, most of our entertainment is also either war-based (Boxing, etc.) or otherwise sports (Football, etc.). Not shockingly, most modern sports were invented, therefore, in the British Empire (sometimes with French or Dutch roots). Older sports are seemingly universal -- ranging from Africa to Native Americans to India -- and are typically ball-based (classically, often using heads, or else leather balls).
Of course, most sports are impossible in zero gravity, so I'm just assuming you're creating some kind of zero gravity war-based game, or otherwise sport (fundamentally throwing-based or ball-based), or your culture is on a planet or space station of some kind, which has artificial gravity.
Tron is a great example of offering some inspiration (duel type, and others), not to mention Spy Kids 3D (car race), Speed Racer (car race), and Ready Player One (car race). Then, you have combat training type games (I'll just call these 'physical wargames') and VR games (Gamer movie, for example), not to mention VR holiday trips.
Speaking of which, I'm reminded of Germany's vast, cheap, powerful cruise trip system by 1938, which saw millions of working (and fairly poor) Germans taking such Party-run trips and holidays (mostly a propaganda tool, funded with blood money, of course). In the more modern context, this is what we saw by the 1950s in America and England with various holiday sites, theme parks, modern cruise trips, and beach holidays (though these do date to at least 1920, but typically only by the middle classes and above). No less, Tolkien himself once came on holiday to the town I live in (on the coast, North of England), which was a famous holiday town back in the 1850s through 1960s. This was commonplace, including long walks through the woods and various built-up areas. Even in the 1700s, people began going to the 'sea air' for so-called health benefits. In reality, this was likely due to the fact the city air was unhealthy. The sea air was simply fresh, clean air (though, it likely is good for you, psychologically speaking, compared to the grey-state of city life). All of this to say that humans have a deep desire to be in nature, and to relax. This is true most of all for the rich and urbanised (as you can imagine).
Space theme park, anyone? Giant cinema on the Moon? Sure, why not. Titanic cruise trip across the galaxy? Doctor Who already did that, but you get my point! There is much to be done, and you only have to add a few such items, and briefly touch upon them, but I think it does wonders for the human connection, and some added realism (assuming such correctly fits your setting and themes).
There are many other activities of note, of course, including but not limited to art groups, acting/plays, drinking games, general board/video games, card/dice/token games, sword-based sports, hunting, Shooting (sport), and actual warfare.
The only other thing I should like to say is that gambling is not always wholly a negative, nor drinking. These ensure that people have something to do at the end of eacfh day/week, without rioting against the system or going insane/depressed. Gambling and drinking are about as old as modern culture itself (at least 7,000 years), so it's not a trivial matter. You may or may not want these in your setting in some manner: think that the key positive function to gambling is social mobility, as it allows poor people to climb up the social ladder by winning large sums of money (or, rather, gives them the hope of such). However, this needs to be contained, because (a) you actually need people to climb the social ladder, unless they are kept there; and (b) studies indicate that gambling doesn't actually work in this way, as most winners fall back to zero after 12 months. This assumes you have some kind of social caste system, which is money-driven, of course (which is very common). Drinking is simple: it keeps men off the streets and not as depressed, which is very good for a functional culture (despite the major negative social (and health) impacts of drinking itself according to studies). Alcohol comes to us via the Arabic, and I read that it comes from at least 7,000 BC. I read that gambling stems from many games/betting from 'knucklebones' (goats/sheep, mostly, around the Near East, then India, China, Greece, etc.), around 5000 BC (at least). I'm not sure if this was purely for gambling purposes, or the later form of divination (hence, the origin of dice). We still treat dice (such as in modern board games) as if we are fighting the gods of fate... as if we are making a bet with the future itself. This is part of 'divination', at least. This makes sense, if you think about it in a Jungian and Darwinian context (most of all, of the typical male brain pattern of high risk and high reward, clearly stemming from hunting). This would be pure speculation, but I like to think that these early gamblers were betting on Fate, struggling with the spirits of the animals of said bones (goats/sheep), maybe trying to get good omen/luck from them. We have certainly seen a great deal of such activity in the past, as evidenced by cave paintings and various omen rituals. I believe a future space human culture would have such things in place, too, just in different ways.
Right now, for example, the major form of gambling is hitting young boys via video games and their 'loot crate' systems, which is actually very dangerous and often illegal. These are almost always on war-driven games, so the connection back to hunting goats and bone-dice is not such a leap -- it's just a simulated, digital, nested form. Another major form of gambling over the last few decaes has been Boxing, which is literal combat/fighting between man. If your space opera has a primary focus on actual warfare, however, I think such sports and games are unneeded (for the most part). Only within a non-war context would your culture require such replacements (i.e. sports and wargames), but I do believe the royals/nobles of your setting would have such activities, as they are likely to have great amounts of free time, and not actively enage in warfare (though, you could primarily fill their time with politics and/or religion).
I have said enough for today. Ah, speaking of which: talking might be another consideration for your culture. This is literally as old as man, and does count as such an activity in the context of debate. You famously find this within the Jewish and Islamic worlds: likely because they don't enage with the other items I mentioned as much, and their religions require great moral debate and such. On the other hand, Buddhism requires a lot of silent thinking (which is a kind of debate, in a sense). This heavily depends on your culture's primary religion and otherwise. Some cultures are almost purely geared towards warfare, for example, like the Akkadian Empire (though we are likely a bit harsh on that). In this case, the focus would be on action. If your culture is anything like the modern West, then it's also going to be heavily driven by action, purely due to the speed of the culture and its workers. How this manifests itself depends on the type of government and culture you have in place (the Dutch Empire vs. the U.S., for example).
I'm sure I've forgotten a few key items and categories, and I'm sorry for that!
(Clearly, within a cyberpunk direction or more classical space opera context, the primary free-time activities and modes tend to be centred around sex, war, and/or slave-labour, as shown by Star Wars in general, for example. This may or may not fit your world and story, however. The other core negative item would be gambling, which is the only item which doesn't innately involve the body, though often bleeds over into various animal gambling games/activities. You may find that you have certain sci-fi/space creatures in your world, for example, and find yourself creating a gambling game out of that. Typically, you either make said creatures fight each other or race/run. This typically keeps the more lower classes engaged in the 'slums' sector (typically of a planet). Very common trope/theme, as noted in the bright-cyberpunk-space-opera sort of movie, The Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), when they go to a trading hub planet, filled with crime, sex rings, and gambling, including little weird creatures fighting each other, akin to dog fighting or such on Earth. But, again: you don't actually require this, it's just one popular way to go within the wider sci-fi context, and it serves a few purposes, in-universe.)

Ive (F18) been working at this gas station for a little over half a year (which is long term because all my other coworkers last shorter than that). 4 people quit within a month (nothing to do with management, just different paths of life), making us very understaffed. A new person gets hired, and from what my manager tells me, this lady used to work at the store. Ill call her S (F~30-50?). I was confused on why she came back because she had caused a scene before with one of our night shift workers. They had closed the store for ~20 minutes to mop and she banged on the door because she wanted wine. When they let her in, she rampaged and threw items and left.
The first time i was put on a shift with her it was fine. She praised me for actually doing my job and working, which i thought was really strange. She let off a really uncomfortable vibe and i would work away from her so i wouldn’t have to be near her. I got done with the shift and all was well in the world. I get the shift schedule for the following week and see that me and this woman have three shifts together. Great.
I had told my manager a week beforehand about an appointment coming up so she would not schedule me for that day. A previous coworker was supposed to work that day instead, but asked for additional money to work (an entirely different story); along with two other people calling out that day. Because he wanted more money, he was not scheduled for that day and i was forced to work it. This also happened to be the day S was working, so this would be our second shift together.
My manager scheduled me for a time that would go directly through my appointment, so i let her and the other person i would be working with (not S) to expect me to be late. I was a few minutes later than i anticipated, so when i clocked in i apologized to my coworker and let her leave as soon as i came in. Because it was a weekend and right in the middle of rush hour (the store is in between a high school and two colleges, one of which was hosting a graduation), i was not able to move from the register for the next hour, because S would be clocking in at that time.
When S walks through the door, i greet her and she ignores me and immediately starts changing the coffee barrels. When she comes behind the register i tell her my plan to go in the vault to stock drinks because there were slots empty. I also let her know that only one register out of three is in working condition, so it wouldn’t make sense for me to be at the front at the moment. She immediately blows up on me and starts yelling. S continues to work away from the register as people line up at it, leaving me to stay there. When she takes my spot and i start cooking and loading items on the grill (im standing almost right next to her), S yells to the customers about me being lazy and wanting to leave her to do all the work in the front of the store. I don’t argue with her because im not confrontational, and keep cooking. At this point i just change my mind about stocking drinks, because to her its me abandoning her.
I stay in the front of the store, and its been less than two hours into S’s shift. S decides she wants to leave. Because she “doesn’t feel good”. As she prepares to leave, she buys two bottles of wine, four packs of blunts, ten chicken wings, and a case of water. Her uber comes and she leaves. For the next 4-5 hours, im completely alone. It’s nearing the end of my shift, and the night shift worker who was scheduled an hour before still hasn’t shown up, which i didn’t mind because he always does this since he lives far away. I realize i have to work longer than what i was scheduled for, because S was supposed to leave an hour AFTER me, meaning i would have been able to clock out if she was there. 30 minutes after my shift ended, im still working, S comes into the store. Is she really coming back to do only 30 minutes of work? No. She came in to retrieve something she had left, and walked out of the store. She doesn’t drive. She took an uber to come to get something she left, then walked out and left in the same uber. At this point im fuming.
I was at work an hour after my shift ended, essentially taking S’s shift, because i clocked out at her time. I let my manager know about all of this, and threatened i would quit if i was scheduled with S anymore after this week. The shit part? S wont get fired for her behavior at all. No one that i know of gets fired from this place. The owner of the store PERSONALLY invited her to work at the store again. She’s only been working for a week and i hope and pray she leaves before im the first person to get fired from here.

Hey all, I am seeking advice regarding seeing the TF Angel Numbers and TFs. Lemme explain a little backstory… a week ish ago, I was in my kitchen hugging who I think is my TF. I looked at my clock (currently military time) and it was on 22:22. I was taken aback bc I hadn’t ever seen 22:22 on my clock before (or ~really~ had my attention grabbed…) and so I was like “Look! Lucky Ducks, 22!” And my possible TF replied, semi-mockingly bc he doesn’t believe in signs, etc “Oh! It’s a sign!!” And I replied, “uh, yeah it it!” So, he left for the night and I went to seek out the meaning of Angel Number 2222… less than 48 hours later, a really good friend of mine brought up TFs and said that another guy that has been in my life is my TF. I was totally shocked bc that thought had never crossed my mind - not once. Reflecting, I can see how she thinks so. Anywho, trying to finish this up, I know it’s getting long… I was hanging with ‘Kitchen Hugs’ guy yesterday and I saw 22.2 in the dashboard of his car, and the tax on my receipt when we stopped at a gas station was $2.22… so basically my Question here is this: do y’all have any input or insight on whether my real TF is the guy that I’m with in real time when I am seeing 222 or could my TF be the guy my best friend thinks it is? I was all confident about who it was until my best friend suggested and “sees” another [for real] TF in my life. Please advise! TYIA ❤️‍🔥

I had a rough childhood in almost every aspect, growing up was hard.. right from the start I was having trouble excelling in school. I flunked my first year of kindergarten, and then I had to repeat the 8th grade. It was a miracle every time that I somehow made it through. I paid attention and studied hard, but there was just something that wasn't right and I didn't understand. My parents boiled it down to me not paying attention and I would just cry because I knew that wasn't the case.. trying to talk back and have an actual conversation with my parents was impossible though.. I'd get a smack to the face from my mother, and don't let it be my father I was talking back to! He'd beat me until another tear wasn't able to fall.. my father was an alcoholic and always kept the cupboards packed with booze, when I was 14 I snuck some for myself to just see what was so good about it, and I thought it'd be a fun experience.. I was already dealing with tons of anxiety and self loathing at this age, I felt like a fucking failure and after that first night of trying alcohol- I found my cope. I started getting drunk alone in my room when my parents would go to bed at least 4-5 nights out of the week.. I was scared of being caught , but I thought that my father was getting too drunk every night to realize whether or not he drank the alcohol that was missing, I was right.
prioritizing drinking over my school work caused my grades to flunk further, by the time I made it into the 10th grade I was 18, still struggling and holding on by a thread. Literally all I could think about was getting home and drinking my problems away. I dropped out of school because it was getting increasingly harder, making friends was easy for me as a kid, but when I entered my teenage years, it's like my personality left and I felt/still feel like a walking mental illness.. I didn't know how to be happy or have fun anymore, my only idea of fun was drinking, which I did alone. After dropping out, I stayed at home most days, jacking off during the day to pass time, I was always ready for it to be night time.. I knew I was addicted, but I didn't care. Dropping out of school was the biggest mistake ever, for the next year and half that's literally all I did, drink and masturbate. My dad was still very emotionally abusive, but he didn't physically abuse me anymore.. I think because I reached his height and level of strength at that point. They harassed me about getting a job everyday and told me I needed therapy, and that they'd pay for it. I refused and all of this just led to more resentment, how are you going to offer help for what caused? I struggled with symptoms of OCD growing up, it was basically just the kind that my mind would get set on a situation and I'd end up overthinking it.. these thoughts came from a place of concern, but then I started to suffer from very very frightening intrusive thoughts- everyday my mind was plagued with the thought of killing my parents, especially my dad. The fact that my father had guns locked up in the house made these thoughts even scarier for me. I thought at one point I was going to actually end up doing it- it felt like my real self was watered down and that some kind of evil lived in me and I felt like I was barely in control of my own body. I used to stare at the guns/knives in the kitchen and just try to actually think about what it would be like.. by doing this, I thought it would scare me out of having these thoughts, but they only grew stronger.. because of this, I started to abuse alcohol even more, sleeping more hrs of the day and would go for walks randomly to put myself at a distance to protect my parents from my own self.. my family has never been been the religious kind, but I would just pray at night and ask God to take these thoughts away or at least let me die in my sleep. Suicidal thoughts never stayed with me long, I wanted to die, but I was too weak to do it myself. Every cope that I had worked somewhat, but I needed something more, I started to cut myself on my arms/thighs/and chest and it made living a bit easier. The thoughts still continued to grow and I had no options, I was either going to end up commiting a crime so evil, or accept help from my parents.. so I did.
I started to attend one therapy session a week until my therapist suggested I started seeing him twice a week.. I told him about my sick obsessive thoughts, how I've been drinking since I was 14, the self harming, and how I struggled in school.. that topic kinda stayed on the back burner for like 3 months because I was dealing with much scarier stuff at the time. I ended up getting an official diagnosis for depression, OCD and ADHD.. which probably explains a lot for why I struggled in school so much. I was prescribed Zoloft but due to his knowing of my struggles with alcohol, I wasn't able to get a narcotic for my ADHD. my OCD started to simmer down some l, but the thought still stayed in the back of my head always and was overwhelming. I was able to get a job in a factory, working in an environment like this was terrible.. I tried to avoid talking to others because I never wanted there to be a potential conflict, I was scared that if that happened I would end up being plagued with the thoughts of hurting others, it happened from time to time.. but those thoughts wore off, my thought of hurting my parents is still with me to this day. I continued to work up until I could get my own place, it was a crappy apartment, but at least being there kept me in distance from my parents, the only time I went over to visit was when I wanted to steal some alcohol.. which was often.
I had gotten a hold on the self harming, well besides drinking.. I was almost 20 at this point and then me and my therapist started to speak more about how about how I struggled in school.. how it was the spark for me falling into addiction. I then was diagnosed with dyscalculia and dysgraphia.. everything started to make sense now, I finally knew why I struggled so badly in school and now it was too late.. I never received any help, you'd think that someone in the school system would have suggested help- but no.. it was just brushed off as laziness. And the only response I got from bad grades, is a beating. After that diagnosis I started to self harm again, I was cutting almost everyday. This made my resentment grow for my parents, to the point of hatred for the both of them, especially my father.. my mother was abusive too, and I was definitely neglected as a child, but I blame my father even more.. this led me back to having the same thoughts and they were stronger than ever. I stopped going over there and eventually was able to buy alcohol from a gas station that didn't bother to ID.. I had so much built up anger and I had to take it out on someone or something.. every time I would get drunk, I'd end up punching more and more holes in my wall.. I'm afraid to move because I know I'd be sued out the ass. It's now been another year, im 21 and haven't spoken to my parents in like 7 months for the sake of their own safety.. I can't make friends, have a girlfriend, or even have a pet because I'm insanely afraid of what I could do in moments of rage.. besides the meds, I stopped going to therapy because I wasn't really getting anywhere. I feel like a lost cause and I really don't know what to do. What's there to work with? I have no intelligence, I'm severally mentally ill, realistically, I'll probably stay working a dead end job until I die alone of liver failure or something. I know this post was long, so if you read all of this, thank you.

I had this strange dream just now. There was a large cat, maybe about 3 feet long from head to butt (not including her tail), that was following me. Her fur was a deep royal blue color. At first I thought it was the sun shining off of black fur, but it was actually a deep blue color which I found very strange.
Anyway, she followed me throughout this small unknown town and I was a little nervous. She was a very large cat after all. When I turned to see where she was, she was right at my heels. She sat down, looked up at me with kindness in her eyes, and jumped! She jumped up into my arms. She let me hold her like you would a child on your hip.
The purring...oh, that deep peaceful purr that emanated from her. I felt that vibration on my chest and shoulder. It felt nice. I honestly was a little bummed that I woke up. I carried that cat through this town for a while.
I stopped at a gas station, apparently my landlord owned it. I told the man that I was going to drop off my rent check but actually had forgotten it. He was okay with it, but was very nervous about my new friend, haha.
Any idea what this deep royal blue colored cat means? She was as sweet as pie....she made me feel so comforted and loved. The vibrations of her purrs made me feel so at peace. This dream is definitely a nice change from the parade of nightmares I've had for the last few weeks. Any help would mean the world to me, thank you! 💜

After a 1940 defined by gathering strengths and refinement across the feature, the early months of 1941 bring a few troubling portents behind-the-scenes for Fox's affectionately termed Grainy Gladiator. Nothing ruinous in itself, but signs of an upcoming radical shift away from what the character represented to start.
For one, the April issue of Adventure Comics (#61) brings with it a new cover feature, Ted Knight AKA Starman, courtesy writer-artist Jack Burnley. Already the second lengthiest entry in the book at nine pages, Starman quickly managed what neither Sandman nor Hourman could during their respective years as star attractions and upgraded to a full thirteen pages by his third appearance in #63. For context, Sandman only went from six pages to ten with its upgrade, while Hourman has remained rockstaedy at eight pages, and neither took down another non-superhero supporting feature to justify the page increase like Starman did Barry O'Neil and Mark Lansing. Moreover, from Starman's second appearance on, he is only drawn by Burnley; writing duties now belong to the Sandman's own Gardner Fox.
Which loops in with two other issues at play over Wesley's tossing, turning figure. Starting with issue #61, available online sources no longer fully agree who wrote what for the Sandman feature. You must understand, outside superstar figures with major pull like the creators of Superman or Batman, very few creative teams are properly credited in these Golden Age comics - my credits the last few posts have all been crossreferenced across numerous wikis and databases who owe their credits to investigative work by fans like Jerry Bails back in the 1960s. Such work was sadly not exhaustive, and while a few places (like DC Continuity Project and Wikipedia) state or else imply Fox stayed on as writer for the next few issues, from June to November there is no consensus as to who penned the stories.
I shouldn't be surprised if Fox's involvement terminated with the March issue, for April also saw All-Star Comics shift its format slightly, with Fox writing all nine interior stories for the 64 page mag in addition to his duties on the longer Starman feature. Man would have to work double time to keep pace, even if Sandman didn't drop to eight pages with #62 in May. Either way, Fox is certainly gone following #64 in July, as that issue features the final story drawn by regular artist and co-creator Creig Flessel, who departs to work on Shining Knight later in the year. As I say, things are changing fast for Sandman, and not all changes seem necessarily for the better. Best, however, to take the stories on their own level before drawing any final conclusions!
^{Coverage note: This entry goes to July rather than June for the sake of my sanity. If I stopped midway through the year, I'd only need cover seven features here, but the back half of '41 would require coverage of eleven. A nine-nine split feels much more feasible.}

• ADVENTURE COMICS #58 (January)

Orchids of Doom - Gardner Fox, Creig Flessel, Chad Grothkopf

Once again, a socialite friend to Wes and Dian is at the center of a minor mystery with big implications - namely, how can Pedro Nogades, father to Carla, rightly claim he breeds otherwise purely wild orchids in captivity? Investigating as the Sandman, Wes and Dian find a dead man in the Nogades greenhouse with his head stripped to the bone, and in following another fellow who sniffed an orchid before promising a shipment of such to some ruffians on the bad side of town, see his own face dissolve to bare skull. A visit to the police chemist reveals the orchids on the dead men's persons were laced to release a deadly flesh-eating gas on exposure to natural air, which is enough probably cause for Wesley to enlist Carla's boyfriend Bill in staging a raid on the Nogades manor. Some close shaves and fisticuffs end with the group discovering a diorama of the local coast, laid out to assist enemy agents in an invasion. Pedro is put away and the orchids revealed as concealing microfilm copies of the coastal plans, but how do we square the mystery that started it all? Simple: Nogades was no botanist, and called the flower by the wrong name when concocting his cover story!
An alright yarn to kick of the calendar year. As per usual when Fox tries for a somewhat complicated mystery, he's no adequate means of tying off loose ends other than large blocks of text, but it's lively and keeps the situation evolving with decent justifications for mid-story action and dragging Bill along for further fisticuffs. Hooking the entire mystery on, "Oh, the bad guy misspoke," is a tad lame, if understandable in the context of Fox's passion for slipping general knowledge flexes into his stories. Flessel and Grothkopf get some good mileage out've the skull imagery that crops up whenever the flower kills, and I rather like the brief bout of fisticuffs towards the end. The minor social awkwardness when Bill gets in the car with Wes and Dian is pretty good too, and I'm sorry to report I can't add this story to the "Wesley getting shot" count, as the bad guy only plugs his hat. Kinda funny having a Golden Age Sandman story involving orchids given Neil's own pre-Sandman work with Black Orchid, innit?

• ADVENTURE COMICS #59 (February)

The Story of the Flaming Ruby - Fox, Flessel, Grothkopf

There exists a ruby of blazing red, which has driven men to rage and madness wherever it appears, and today it sits in the hand of a young man in the local jeweler's shop, who flashes it cross Dian's vision. Later in the evening, she wakes in a trance consumed with the urge to kill her father, stopped only by Sandman as he rushes in from investigating a similarly queer case. A bank teller friend from his private life has found himself driven to steal from the vault and deliver it to some crooks on a lonely road every night, all after one of those men flashed him the ruby. Wes and Dian are unable to stop this night's transaction (on account of the ruby briefly turning Dian against Sandman), but seeing the gem in action gives Wes an idea on how to counteract its effects, and go into battle during the next drop armed with blue cobalt glasses. A brawl puts down all the blackmailers except one, but Wes opts instead to go after the head of the operation, knocking him out and lurking in the dark to catch the last as he reports in, revealing the bank teller! Turns out the ruby DOES have hypnotic properties and was used to assist their robberies, but the teller - hoping by playing at the victim to lure Sandman into his cohorts' midst and rub him out - spoke as if he remembered the whole experience, where Dian forgot herself on every exposure. Oops!
Same basic mystery structure and resolution type here as last month, complete with overly-wordy explanation, although I find the hook of pitting Dian and Wesley against one another gives it a minor leg up, as does the relatively straightforward nature of the criminal operation compared to planting microfilm in deadly flowers. There's a more even balance between the rush in bust 'em up style of crime-fighting the feature has developed and the stealthy skullduggery I think suits the character best, with nice action art to match each. Dian has some silly faces whenever she wakes from her hypnosis, and the four panel sequence of Wes halting her murder attempt works pretty well. This is, unfortunately, the final pencil-inking collaboration between Flessel and Grothkopf, and much as I've kvetched over the second man's solo work, I'm sorry to see the back of him in this capacity. When the two were in proper tune, they were the best artistic team Sandman enjoyed yet.
(Stop dodging bullets, I want to see you gunshot.)

• ADVENTURE COMICS #60 (March)

Mystery at Malay Mac's - Fox, Grothkopf

^{Hey, a rare post-Hourman, pre-redesign cover appearance! That's always nice. "Hello, officer? Yeah, coupla chucklefucks right here, the alley off Fourth, can't miss 'em."}
What's this? Dian breaking into a notorious criminal slumlord's safe in the bad part of town? A safe, as Wes discovers after he scares the lady off, filled to the brim with poison gas! Evidently not, as Dian is sound asleep when Wes arrives at Belmont manor to investigate, and a subsequent visit to Mister Mac reveals the only person who'd know the safe was booby-trapped is a local kidnapping organizer. Some blind, flailing fists turns up the girl, Dian's perfect duplicate, snatched from out of state to replace Dian and gain leverage over the cops. Too bad the kidnapper's made of strong stuff, knocking out Sandman and taking both woman for a ride to get back at Mac. Fortunately, Dian leaves Wes a trail of jewelry out the window, enabling him to follow and take down all the crooks with one throw of his gas pistol, revealing in the process 'twas Mac himself who tipped Dian's duplicate to his safe, in hopes of spoiling his rival's big plot.
Art-wise, this is probably Grothkopf's best work for Sandman to date. His tendency to exaggerate is translated into some properly goonish faces for the villains and really, really strong action poses, with some properly atmospheric shots sprinkled in for good measure. He cannot draw the gasmask for piss, but there's such an improvement I almost thought this was a Flessel joint before checking the wiki credits. Makes me wish we could see what he'd do if he kept on as a solo artist - free from the impulse to treat the feature as a cartoon, he produces damn fine work. As a story, this makes good time to mention my misgivings with Wesley's tendency to burst through windows and start swinging long before he thinks to use his sleeping gas. While it's great fun to describe and hype up as the mark of a madman who's even cooler as the badass normal than Batman, it also encourages a faster degradation in the character's identity. I'm sure you'll notice it's been yonks since lurking in the shadows and thinning the ranks by knocking them out in advance has factored into the stories. That Wes handles the bad guy by literally clonking him over the head with the gas gun rather than pulling the trigger speaks to the influence other, punchier superhero features have exerted over the strip.

• ADVENTURE COMICS #61 (April)

The Menace of the Metal Gun - Fox?, Flessel

From aboard a mysterious aircraft, a madman fires upon the city with a metal-melting ray that dissolves the skyscrapers into slag! Alerted to Doctor Borloff's activities, Wesley meets with swift defeat when the rogue scientist melts his gas gun and escapes in his cylindercraft to terrorize afresh. There IS a bright side, as seeing the ray firsthand gives Wesley some idea how to counteract its effects, and he sends Dian and her father warning for the local airforce to coat their planes in sand as a silicate buffer against the ray. Alas, only one officer heeds his message, leaving Sandman alone to get aboard the machine via his new wirepoon gun and defeat Borloff from within. For his brawling process, a good midflight fight is nothing if the hero gets tossed out an open door, but fortunately he can grapple onto the lone surviving plane, recover his bearings, zip back up, and put a stop to Borloff's dreams of world conquest once and for all!
Action is the name of the game here, and even without Grothkopf's inking enhancements, I think Flessel does a fine job on his own. I'm wary of the wirepoon in the future, as by year's end it will completely replace the gas gun as Sandman's sidearm of choice in further drift from the original Christman concept, but taken as a neutral in its debut, giving Sandman greater aerial mobility does lead to some cool shots and enhance the sense Wes goes stark bananas in the mask by pulling some stunts that would almost certainly pull his arms from their sockets in real life. There are, however, some particularly stiff action shots, and in one panel Flessel cocks up the design on the mask worse than Grothkopf last ish. Based on the opening vignette, Borloff decimated millions of innocent lives in addition to all the planes he melted out of the sky, making him easily the deadliest foe Wes has faced to date, and in turn making the "We did it, gang, everything is bright and peachy again!" ending sorta offputting. They'll have to organize mass funerals tomorrow, Wes. Show a little respect.

• ALL-STAR COMICS #4 (April)

For America and Democracy: The Grey Shirts - Fox, Grothkopf

In the top-level story, the JSA learn of their mission for the FBI: a group of Nazi insurgents known as the Grey Shirts are plotting subversive and destructive activities all across America, and are now posed to badly destabilize the nation in a series of disruptive attacks. Each is assigned a mission at critical points cross the nation, though given the widely-ranging disparity in their powers, their usefulness to the cause varies equally wildly. The Atom humiliates some goons spreading Nazi ideology at a single college, Hawkman barely prevents the destruction of an aviation plant in California, and Hourman's defense of an Oklahoma oil field ends with him toppling one of the oil towers to stop his quarry. Meanwhile, Green Lantern detonates a zeppelin secretly jamming radio transmissions nationwide, the Spectre casually annihilates some otherworldly vampiric globes sympathetic to Hitler's cause, and Doctor Fate uses his magic to out every single spy on the eastern seaboard. Uneven efforts or not, the group converge on the Grey Shirts' ringleader, and with a little help from Johnny Thunder, turn him over to good ol' J. Edgar Hoover's custody. Alas, Wesley does not get the blood he's thirsting after.
(Also Doctor Fate alerts Wesley to the identity and location of the ringleader before his mission starts rather than letting him figure it out on his own like everyone else. Prick.)
For his six-page leg of the assignment, the Sandman is off to El Paso, Texas to assist a local newspaper under threat from the Grey Shirts for printing pro-democracy and anti-Hitler editorials. Of course, this being Wesley Dodds on the job, he gets this information by roughing his way into the newspaper offices, then acts on it by beating on the guard at the Grey Shirts' camp and pounding down a band of brainwashed young men to prove he's a better American than them. After sending the wannabe Nazis for a whirl by running their bomb shipment off the road, Wesley doubles back to completely break the recruits' spirits, daring them to prove their hard enough by shooting an unarmed man in Hitler's name, chiefly himself. When none can cut the mustard, he marches them back into town with collars strapped to his car, and inspires the lot to join the Army to a few shirtless bars of "God Bless America."
Cripes but jingoism produces some heady results, doesn't it? I'm not sure I can rightly condone the ridiculous levels of patriotism on display here, even against such classically anti-American enemies as Nazis, yet at the same time, look at this and tell me it isn't the hardest shit you'll see all week. Again, though I've my misgivings about Wes as a brawler no matter how entertaining the results prove, there's something endearing about him being so raring for a fight his first move is to altercate the receptionist at the place he's assigned to defend. On the whole, Grothkopf's final Sandman contribution also shows refinement from his earlier works, the broader, thicker elements of his linework now tempers on a somewhat more grounded approach. Certainly the Sandman himself keeps a consistent look better than he does in any other issue published thus far this year. I DO notice he reused Flessel's design for the District Attorney wholesale on the newspaper publisher. Since he's going and heading out on a job well done, let's not hold it against him, eh?

• ADVENTURE COMICS #62 (May)

The Purple Death Ray - Fox?, Flessel

At the nightly planetarium show, a member of the audience screams and falls down dead, stricken by a litany of strange symptoms with no obvious cause. Wesley, believing the man was killed by a death ray, examines the auditorium's projector, only to find no obvious alterations or fault. Undeterred, he purchases himself a seat next to the murdered man's for the next show, which is now occupied by another fellow who received a last-second courtesy invitation. Acting quickly, the Sandman reexamines the projector from the shadows and finds a replacement bulb screwed into the socket pointed directly at the man's chair. With assistance from his wirepoon, Sandman swings down and wrenches the man from his seat just as the show starts, the bulb bathing his seat in deadly radiation. On learning the man is a former judge and the deceased a former DA, it's not long before Wes ferrets out the killer; it's the cashier, a former scientist sent to jail for misappropriating university funds years ago, out for revenge and now stopped cold.
See, while I'm skeptical about the growing presence of science-fiction elements in the series, they make fine fodder when they play to Sandman's strengths. Lurking high above a crowd of people seeking the answer to some deadly mystery is exactly Wes' bag, and plus or minus some strange mask drawings, Flessel captures that thrill of closely examining a big deadly machine in secret before it fires. I'd submit the page where Sandman saves the judge from the beam as an easy contender for best of the year thus far, and the shot where Wes pushes Dian away from the killer's bullet is another fine piece of work. My memories of this one before sitting down to reread and write were a lot chillier, probably because I wish the series remained in crime pulp rather than raygun pulp, but a good outcome is a good outcome. Seriously, though, why is the mask going so bobble-eyed of late?

• ADVENTURE COMICS #63 (June)

The Voodoo Sorcerer - ???, Flessel

As Dian and Wesley tiff over his interest in an exotic dancer they know through a mutual friend, the woman's tail-lashing dance is interrupted when she sees a great glowing triangle materialize before her eyes. With the shock straining her bad heart, the Sandman brings her to boyfriend's house, where he reveals the triangle is a voodoo witch doctor's means of accusing someone of murder - just as news comes over the wire that the man the woman lashed with her costume tail has died! Smelling a rat, Wes rushes to the scene of the crime to find the taile barbed with poison quills, only for the titular sorcerer to bumrush him out the window. It's a big misunderstanding, thankfully: he's as shocked by the murder as Sandman, and only summoned the triangle on suggestion from an acquaintance, forgetting the dancer would know its significance through her partner. By happiest coincidence, this provides Wesley the solution to the mystery right quick, for only his friend's chauffeur would have motive, opportunity, and knowledge to frame his employers and their associates for the murder of a stock broker who owed them money.
Hmm, ah, see, on the one hand, it IS nice that the voodoo guy is innocent of everything except a lapse in judgement and the real twist is an unassuming little man exploiting the mystery and fears around the craft to cast suspicion off his person. On the other hand, eek, yike, zoinks! None good. Bad, even. Outside unfortunate depictions of non-white persons from the 1940s, the story's pretty weak for a murder mystery, as numerous elements are evidently known to the characters well in advance, yet only made clear to the reader right before they become relevant, like the exact identity of the murdered man. It's only eight pages, so there's little opportunity to piece information together on your own time, and as such it is heavily reliant on narrative cheats to generate cheap surprise. About the best thing here is the big page-dominating panel of Wesley swinging through the city on his wirepoon, unconscious woman tucked under arm. Kinda hard to convincingly raise my dander about what it means for the character and his feature when it's successfully operating on the long-standing principle of "masked mystery men swinging on a wire through skyscrapers looks really cool." S'like a solid fifth of the formula behind why Spider-Man is so enduringly popular.
(Also not a big fan of how Wes dismisses Dian from participating in the case without any adequate reason why. She calls him out over it, even, and nothing in the story justifies his decision to fly solo on this one.)

• ADVENTURE COMICS #64 (July)

The Unseen Man - ???, Flessel

Dian's purchase of paints from a local hobby shop includes quite the unusual accidental item: a paint that turns anything and everything invisible on contact. Determined to solve this mystery on her own, Dian investigates the shop with the dealer's cooperation, only for the dread Unseen Man to get the drop on her. Fortunately, Sandman is there to save her because he won't let Dian do anything on her own; unfortunately, Dian doesn't know Wes can see her attacker through his blue cobalt lenses and pulls him away, thinking him mad and letting the Unseen Man go free. As reward for her screw up, she's targeted in her home the next night, only for Wes to barge in again, having anticipated the only possible secret identity for the crook would make him likely to strike back at Dian. It is, unsurprisingly, the hobby shop owner, who Wes turns over to the police before heading out to patent his invisibility paint with the United States Army.
Alright, it's definitely not Gardner Fox writing anymore, because I cannot imagine Fox treating Dian so poorly. I gave her some dignity in summary, but this story is plain dumping all over her as a fussy, incompetent tryhard who fails at investigating on her own on account her womanly ways. Just look at the sheer antagonism between her and Wes; you two are partners, she's saved Sandman's skin like a dozen times, worn his costume and wielded his gas gun to do it once, even! Don't try to BS me into thinking Wes would run this paternalist "let me handle it, Dian, I wear the pants in this relationship" crap on her. You're only alive because she's worn your fucking pants. Otherwise, 'nother instance where the story and art alike don't give me much of note. I reckon Flessel was about done with the series with Fox gone and sorta phoned in his last few assignments. They're nowhere near the standard of his early solo artistic duties on the title. There IS another good wirepoon swinging shot, if one counterbalanced by a crummier instance with yet another weirdly-proportioned mask.

• ALL-STAR COMICS #5

The Mysterious Mr. X: The Kidnapper's Union - Fox, Cliff Young

The Justice Society are bored. Bored, bored, bored. Why are they bored? There is no crime. Not a single ruffian or scoundrel or roughneck lawbreaker anywhere in the city! Where did crime go? Crime has taken an enforced vacation, courtesy the plans of big crime boss Mister X (hats off), as prelude to his scheme for taking out the JSA and putting all his criminal enterprises back on easy street. It's quite the collection of rackets out against the superheroes - an arsonist ring for Flash, a jewel snatching gang for Hawkman, leader of the phony fortune teller underworld against Doctor Fate, even hard-pressing gym membership shakedowns for the Atom! Naturally our heroes triumph, though every one also encounters a strange little man idly strolling through their battlegrounds. He's so omnipresent despite his mousiness, he's even there when they convene at the police station to organize Mister X's (hats off) arrest. Except this unassuming slip of a man? He IS Mister X (hats off), and with the Justice Society having taken all the fun out've crime, he's turning himself in to live comfortably on the state's dollar in jail. WHOOPSY-DOODLE!
For his six-page part in the game, Sandman must contend against the kidnapper's union, who naturally enough have abducted Dian to get his attention. Not only have these lowlives taken Dian hostage (though she doesn't particularly mind), they've taken out phony accident insurance claims against themselves should the hero injure any of them en route to his untimely death! Nobody quite expects Wes to avoid the sniper-guarded roads to their remote hilltop hideout, though, and a quick wirepoon swing over the canyon (complete with Mister X - hats off - sighting) puts him right in the criminal den. From there, it's a simple biff wham boom to take down the punks and disarm their supporting fire. Alas, Sandman is once again only in the loop on the true nature of the threat against the JSA because someone notifies him from their own investigation, this time Flash via telegram. Let him do his own detective work, you pricks!
Right. You see these panels? You see Dian being calm and collected in the midst of a kidnapping operation? You see Wes trusting her with a submachine gun to keep watch on the fools who mean them harm? Yeah, THAT'S Fox writing Dian. Whoever's writing the Adventure feature at this time ought've taken notes. Artistically, Young makes a fine replacement for Grothkopf and Flessel in Adventure - he can match the first for goons, the second for action, manages a nice turnaround effect before Wes swings on his wirepoon, and even gives us a by-now all-too-rare heavy shadow shot on Wes and Dian. I'm a big fan of the lead kidnapper who calls the JSA the "Justiss Sassiety," and find this instance of Mister X (hats off) the second best in the book, behind only his appearance in the Hourman story, which I think speaks for itself. Probably the only time I'll express preference for something Hourman related over Sandman.
The loss of all three major contributors to the Sandman feature across early 1941 and the crunch down to eight pages has certainly made the Adventure Comics side of the Sandman line a rockier experience. It's still possible to derive enjoyment from the wonky mysteries and higher-concept criminals, but one must accept atmosphere and and particularity have been near-entirely sacrificed for generalized bombast and louder appeal. Don't misunderstand, I've become a fan of Wesley Dodds, Fist-Swinging Bullet Sponge, and my past praises for him aren't diminished by the realization of what this has done to his integrity as a character circa today's stopping point. The trouble is, while I enjoy this half-mad, impossibly reckless read on the character, it simply no longer bears any resemblance to the early days' lurking and creeping through the seedier parts of town. There's a great series of justifications running through the Sandman concept - he's no powers, so he uses the gas gun, so he needs the gas mask, which hides his identity so perfectly it frees him to wear the ordinary business suit, which highlights his vulnerability. Fling him around like a ragdoll who knows no fear of injury or death, although I'll clap for the bravado of it all, I must object if it means any notion he should be sneaky or cautious degrades.
Especially if it means the gas gun vanishes from the character. It hasn't met its final end just yet, but for this seven month block it's proven a very perfunctory aspect of the strip, hung by his side and occasionally brandished without acting as an integral part of the action or storytelling. The wirepoon has subsumed its function as the sidearm, and while I must stress there are plenty aces shots of Wes swinging that fully justify its prominence, taking precedence over the thing that makes him the Sandman, Crimefighter What Fights Crime By Putting The Criminals To Sleep plain rubs me the wrong way. Be awful nice i we could have both without the new toy putting the old out to pasture, y'know? It's not led to anything I'd full-throatedly object over just yet, but... ach, you'll see next time. Speaking of...
Next time! 1941 comes to a close as Wesley picks up another feature to his name, and also a stupid, ugly new costume!
(Previous write-ups: 1939, 1940 pt 1, 1940 pt 2)

Tokyo - Yokohama - Nagoya - Kyoto - Osaka - Tokyo

Hi all, going to go through our trip covering golden week and time around it (: It was myself (F21) and my partner (M24) and the reasoning behind the timing was mainly due to bank holidays in the UK being unfortunately placed perfectly in line with golden week this year! Despite this, I feel we actually got pretty lucky with it all. I'll put an emoji to note which days were for golden week but for the tl;dr we weren't affected that much.
Other important contexts, both interested in Japan for a few different reasons. Anime isn't a small one but I'm also a huge fan of the Yakuza games, he's into the JDM car scene, and we just enjoy travelling in general. We didn't do many things like Universal, Disneysea etc. but hopefully there's some things in here that people will enjoy hearing about! I'll go through some tips/recommendations for the casual readers first before going into the trip in depth - please let me know if there's anything else you want to know about!

Tips + Recommendations

Yamato Takkyubin Luggage Forwarding If like us you are going to be staying in quite a few different places, this service is so so so good I cannot overstate it. We had two big suitcases and one smaller one, we sent just the big ones for two of the trips and then for the final trip from Osaka to Tokyo we sent all 3 and just used our backpacks to bring essentials for the night.Pretty much all hotels will allow you to use the service, some may request you pay them with cash for the actual service but for all but one of ours we could use card. We sent Yokohama -> Kyoto, then Kyoto -> Osaka, then finally Osaka -> Tokyo. There are options for same day delivery I believe however we did both the next day and for a few days later. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments and I'll answer if I can!
Trip Planning I've been fortunate to be able to travel a lot so wasn't nervous about the actual travel, however Japan is such a far away country that I didn't want to go and get there then not know what to do and waste my time. In the past holidays with family were more about relaxing on a beach, or with my partner our city breaks are short as they are other European countries and so easier to return to if we wanted. I wanted to take a different approach to this trip so I made a big Google Sheet and Google Map with all the places I wanted to visit/see. It was never meant to be a strict itinerary as some people I showed seemed to assume 😅 But it really helped me to visually see where things I wanted to go to were, and then make a rough plan in case I did get stuck at some point.Anyway it was a really good idea in hindsight and I'm very glad we did it for this trip as our first time going! Here's a picture of the map looks like, we didn't necessarily do everything but we did most things - https://i.imgur.com/2xLyy7Y.png. I used mymaps.google.com, to be honest there's definitely betteeasier to use tools out there but I got this to work for me so I stuck with it.
Walking People aren't kidding about the amount of walking, although I think our top amount was still under 30k so don't worry too much. That said, if you don't walk a lot anyway then your feet are going to hurt. My partner was fine, I was awful. I thought my shoes would be fine and apparently they weren't so if you can pack walking boots please do. The other thing is I think the way you walk affects it too, my partner and I both had multiple pairs of shoes with us but where his converse boots were fine, the soles of my feet were awful in the same types of shoes 😭
Driving I am not a driver but my partner is. He has a full manual UK driving license and insurance, and so for Japan all he needed was to get the International Driver's Permit a little before we went. We rented a car for three different occasions, two times from the same place then the final was for a JDM rental. All was fine, the JDM place was confused for a moment as my partner has a Polish passport + UK license but we translated Poland for him and after that there were no issues! You'll need to check what you need depending on where you're from, it's easier for us due to the same driving side although when we rented for Daikoku and the Nagoya drive they did give us an automatic so just be aware of that if you want to request/drive manual. The rental places we used were Orix rent-a-car for the Daikoku and Yokohama -> Nagoya trip and we had a Mazda 2. For the JDM rental we used Omoshiro.

Trip Report

Tokyo

25/04 - Airport, Shinjuku hotel, Shinjuku We followed a similar first day that I'm sure many of these reports will begin with - arrived at the airport, we had filled out the VJW forms and had both QR codes ready to go. Immigration had about an hour wait so longer than normal but we were also near the back of our plane and there was at least another full plane in front of us. Actually going through immigration was a complete breeze. Once through and picked up our luggage, we got a Welcome Suica, then headed to Shinjuku. We reached our hotel about 4 hours early for check-in, wasn't sure what to do for that time but they were happy to take our bags until we could go to the room (something that is consistent with all the hotels we went to thankfully). Jetlag was pretty bad, I was flagging by afternoon but we pushed through it and took the few hours to just walk around and see the sights. We spent some time in Hakone-yama before heading back to the hotel and getting cleaned up/accidentally falling asleep too early.
26/04 - Akihabara, Golden Gai Of course woke too early by not being as proactive as we should've with warding off jetlag but used that to leave early for Akihabara. After getting some breakfast we saw the Yodobashi Camera and went in there for about an hour just looking at all the floors 😅 It was raining a ton but it surprised us with how warm it still was and quickly realised why people prefer umbrella with no raincoat!! Spent pretty much the whole day in Akihabara, went round a ton of shops and also went into our first of many many arcades we'd go to. We went back to the hotel to return the items we'd bought then walked to Golden Gai as our hotel was about a 15-20 minute walk ^^ Had some delicious ramen, unfortunately didn't drink as my partner was finishing antibiotics for the first few days but it was still great to be there. Slept a lot later which was good.
27/04 - Kabukicho, Shinjuku National Garden This was more a day for me to fufill my Yakuza game sightseeing. Being so close to Kabukicho I was so excited to visit a city and be able to make my way round without a map loool. It was just the end of the blue festival so the iconic arch was still blue although I did get to see it red at the end of the trip so I wasn't too bothered about that. We went around Kabukicho, the square, again spent tons of time in the arcades and discovered how much we enjoyed the MaiMaiDX machines. Ended up getting one of the passports that save your progress and give you an extra play so if you like arcades then I recommend them!! After this and some lunch, we were going to do a walk to the national garden then realised I went the wrong way so we took the train. As a side note here, the Suica and train system is so useful. Very similar to using a card for the underground except it's actually clean. Walked around the national garden, it was very sunny and warm. Didn't know it had it before going but there's a starbucks in the middle of the garden and we managed to join the queue about 10 minutes before they stopped taking new orders. Had a nice time watching the sun set in that garden before heading back to the hotel.
28/04 - Teamlabs Planets Wasn't something I was going to initially go to however I checked out tickets the day previously and saw some for this day and decided we could do it as we had a ton of free time. I had chosen 2:30pm for an entrance time however it was such a nice day so we left early and spent time just walking around the docks. It was so so sunny, the area didn't have loads going on however it was still very pretty. We spent time in the parks and walking alongside the water. Teamlabs was pretty cool, I did enjoy the water based sections although dodging both influencer and family photos might detract from your experience. This was also where I realised I'd already become the stereotype tourist and was sunburnt :') I guess I had to learn my lesson physically and I did thankfully stop any further burning after this with diligent sun cream appliance afterwards pretty much every day. After this we went back to Shinjuku and after food we packed up ready to go to Yokohama.

Yokohama

29/04 - Bashamichi, Daikoku, Cosmo Clock ✨Showa Day Left our hotel at 11 and hadn't yet discovered the wonders of luggage forwarding so we brought all our bags with us on the train to Yokohama! Not too bad though, we got to our hotel a little early but they took our bags as we went and had lunch before the room was ready. Went around Bashamichi (another game location lol) before taking the train to central Yokohama. We had pre-booked the rental cars all before we left to ensure availability but there weren't any problems. This was also my partner's birthday which is something the rental staff realised whilst we were sorting out all the documents 😆. For Daikoku, we didn't need to pass through any ETC gates from Yokohama but it was the first time on the Japanese roads. It was a little nerve-wracking at first as there's very slightly different rules to UK roads but in general driving is fine. We reached Daikoku PA around 20 past 6pm, and it was about 2 hours until police moved everyone along. My partner was in dreamland with the cars that we saw, if you're into the JDM scene at all or just a petrolhead then you'll love it but it is a bit of luck with what you'll see. After we left Daikoku, we went back to our hotel. We'd checked in with them previously that we could keep the car with them as the hotel we had chosen had parking available for an additional cost. We left the car at the hotel then went out for drinks and to see the cosmo clock. Didn't ride it but it was very cool seeing it all lit up over Yokohama. We bar hopped a bit, then went back.
30/04 - Recovery... Not much to say about this day, my partner was fairly hungover so we returned the car to the rental place and then spent the day just chilling at our ryokan hotel and around Yokohama. No drinks this time round as we had a very long trip the next day!!

Nagoya (Road Trip from Yokohama)

01/05 - Expressways, Onshi-Hakone Park, Expressways, Shinshiro, Expressways, Nagoya I'll condense this one a bit otherwise I'll type forever but this was a really fun time. The driving totaled almost 6 hours by the end so it's not for the faint hearted haha. The point was that we'd stop a few times along the way though which is what we did end up doing. We sent our luggage with the forwarding service (to the hotel after Nagoya as we were just staying the one night), then had an early start as we went to the car rental for 8. We chose the same place we rented from for Daikoku and had the same sales rep sorting out any documents so it was a bit quicker although this time we did get a quick explaination on the toll gates. Anyone going on the expressways will need to know how to use them, we were a bit confused the first time but once you've done it a couple times it'll be smooth sailing (and it's such a good system for people with the automatic cards too). We left Yokohama and set our location for Nagoya. We went for about 2 hours before stopping in Odawara for a quick snack and pee break. Pretty overcast day but despite this we still decided to do a stop in a park on the way and went to Onshi-Hakone Park. It was very cool/bit scary going up the winding mountain passes but wow the views are incredible. We spent again probably a couple hours at the park, had some lunch, no view of Fuji but we could see a lot of the other mountains around which are breathtaking in their own rights (: It's right on Lake Ashi so we did get to see the pirate cruise going round. After this break we did another couple hours or so driving before stopping slightly outside of Shinshiro. Something I will say about the expressways is that it is insane how fast people go 😂 We're not about to try anything so it was sticking to the 120 on the signs for us but people just whizz by. Anyway, we stopped at a familymart in this village for a quick break and I know I've said it already but the views are so beautiful. It's green in the UK but it's something else, I kept wondering if it's just viewing through rose tinted glasses/greener on the other side but I don't think that's true at least about those countryside views. It was also one of the reasons we wanted to do the road trip instead of train at least this time round, we could stop in these places and take it in. After our stop there, it was back onto the expressway until we reached Nagoya. It was roughly 6pm when we reached Nagoya, we had intially booked the car for the whole day with return the next morning but they allow early return with Orix so we did that instead before finding our hotel and having some dinner. Not too much time in Nagoya but it was the first time seeing the bullet train which was cool. Nagoya itself has some nice sights, we were thinking about going to Liberty Walk the next day but instead we just decided we'd head to Kyoto once we left the hotel.

Kyoto

02/05 - Shinkansen, Kyoto, Nishiki Market It was a really lovely day and we were taking the shinkansen for the first time. The shinkansen from Nagoya is only 34 minutes but we did end up buying reserved seats as the station was pretty packed. This is probably the main thing we noticed with Golden week, everything else was busy but not insanely so. Nagoya station was a lot busier but otherwise fine. We didn't have JR passes as when I used the online calculator it didn't come out to be worth it for our particular travel so it was full fare for us. The shinkansen itself was good, we would be using it again for Osaka back to Tokyo but due to Nagoya being closer to Kyoto I didn't reeeally think I'd need to book early. It's probably a good idea still lol but it worked out fine for us to book same day despite how busy Nagoya was. Once in Kyoto we took our time walking down to our next hotel. This was another ryokan style so that was nice, we also passed a garden which we noted to go to the next day (Shosei-en Garden). Our luggage had arrived and was waiting for us at the hotel already so we got refreshed then went out for the evening. We went up to Nishiki market then walked back towards our hotel again. Had a sushi train small dinner as we hadn't had any sushi yet and I've also only had a train once before. It might not be the best Kyoto had to offer but wow was it still better than anything I'd had in the UK!! We then spent hours once again in an arcade, if you like games the MaiMaiDX machines really are addictive :')
03/05 - Shosei-en Garden, Higashi Hongan-ji, Tō-ji Temple, Nijō Castle✨Constitution Memorial Day We woke up early, had breakfast at the ryokan, then went straight for the garden. It was a beautiful day once again so plenty of suncream applied. The Shosei-en Garden isn't the biggest but it's so beautiful, they have this pond that looks so still but my partner spotted a turtle and then you start to see more and more. They have some historical buildings around the place, we spent about an hour there before going to the next place. We walked down the road to the next place, this was Higashi Honhan-ji temple. Both locations weren't really that busy to be honest. Seeing this temple was nice but personally I did prefer the gardens. We next went Tō-ji temple. This is one of those locations that are on the 'must-do in Kyoto' but I did like it a lot. The 5 story pagoda was a cool sight. It wasn't so busy although we were going around lunch time so hungry crowds were likely taking a small break (: We spent an unreasonable amount of time just looking at the koi fish in the moat not even in the temple area 🎏 Finally we went to Nijō Castle. This was quite busy although we were one of the latter groups going around as it was nearing the end of the day. Another of the listed must do's but again I would say it's a cool place to see. If you do go, the tour around the main house is interesting and if you decide to climb the walls there's some nice sights of the area around. We finished up this day heading back to the market area and had dinner including a matcha beer. I'm not really a massive matcha person but I was up for trying all the different things, the beer sort of just tasted of normal beer but it looked exactly like a matcha-green coloured guinness.
04/05 - Arishiyama ✨Greenery Day This wasn't really a packed day as we were heading to an airbnb for a couple of nights. We used the luggage forwarding from the ryokan where they were concerned that we wouldn't get our luggage as soon as we wanted due to Golden week. I then let them know we were looking to get it sent for the 6th and they completely relaxed and said that would be perfectly fine 👌 For context if you've not been to Kyoto, the train system is alright but pales compared to Tokyo. Getting to our airbnb wouldn't be too long, about an hour, but as we didn't really have anything planned and only had our small suitcase with us we decided to walk to the next airbnb instead and waste time along the way. This way when we arrived it wouldn't be before check in time and it would keep us out and about. The walk was about 3 hours total although we lengthed it by stopping a few times. There were some celebrations happening due to Greenery day and Children's day being the next day. We stopped to listen to some music, stopped to have a starbucks, then finally we reached out airbnb in Arishiyama. The place was really nice, and it was fun to have a whole place for a few nights instead of a hotel. If you're wanting to, looking at airbnb's is a completely valid option when staying in Japan - you just might get warned before you arrive not to talk or laugh too loudly or the neighbours might complain/call the police 😅
05/05 - Fushimi Inari Shrine ✨Children's Day Initially were going to do both the bamboo/monkey forest and Fushimi Inari but ended up leaving a little later than planned so just committed to only Fushimi Inari. I was expecting fairly large crowds considering the day and the station was..... not great. That said, the station was very small and so although it was crowded we were also out of there fairly quick. This review of Fushimi Inari is going to follow almost everyone's - it was busy at the bottom and as you go up you'll get a lot less people. Even it being Children's day didn't stop us getting moments of just myself and my partner being alone so don't be deterred if the bottom is busy! Beautiful views, we did the full routes going to the top. It was a bit tricky at times but it's not a race, and you'll feel good doing the full thing. We reached the top, were able to partake in the prayers there, then had a great time going back down. There was a little area near the end with a bunch of cats; we turned a corner and saw one and a bunch of people crowding round to take a photo. Maybe only a few steps later you realise there's about 4 more just chilling around the place. It was a cool experience and definitely worth doing at least once if you're there.

Osaka

06/05 - Local train, Dotenbori, Den-Den Town We took a train from our airbnb to Osaka and went via the local train rather than the shinkansen. It was fine, we reached Dotenbori and our hotel was not far from the station. We got there a bit early again but our room was already available and our luggage had arrived too (: After getting refreshed we went out for the afternoon to Den-Den Town. This is Osaka's version of Akihabara, and we spent a lot of time with my partner looking in all the card shops. It was pretty rainy but not really a problem between the Lawson's umbrella and ducking into lots of shops ;) We spent time in an arcade for a while before heading out to Dotenbori market area and the bridges for the evening/night. Yet again another location in the Yakuza games so I had fun pointing out different places like the Mega Don Quijote or the crab restaurant. We had some food and ended up in a drinking place that used a QR code and website for ordering to the table which was dangerously easy to use haha. Had some really tasty sushi there too, I'll try and find the name if anyone is wondering! Took tons of photos there, the rain at night gave the city that classic look reflecting the neon lights everywhere.
07/05 - Kobe day trip We went to Kobe for the day, lots of rain but the main market area is all under cover so that was handy. My partner was looking for a new phone which he found, we also went to one of those places where they grill the food in front of you for dinner. It was great going in a scruffy elevator up to the restaurant and stepping out onto a really beautifully designed restaurant, and it wasn't very busy so we were able to go without reserving beforehand. Kobe itself is cool although we didn't explore too much outside the market areas due to just how hard it was raining, I think it was the heaviest on this day unfortunately.
08/05 - Nara day trip, Todai-ji We went to Nara and although the advice is to go early, we went for more mid-day time. It wasn't crowded at all so that was fortunate. We ended up walking past that famous mochi stall that you see on all the tiktoks of Nara. I wasn't expecting to see the making of the mochi and wasn't going to wait for it either however they started about 2 minutes after we found the stall so we did stay and watch and it was cool to see in person (: We tried the mochi, it's pretty good although for me it was a bit too dry from the powder. Was still tasty!!! Walked through towards the deer park and saw the pagodas around. When we reached the deer park of course we had to get some crackers and feed them. Oh my god they're so pushy!! It was actually so funny to interact with them, one tried to nibble me and we got headbutted a bit when we had the crackers but once you've given them all out then they'll leave you 😆. We sat on a bench for a bit and watched some other poor souls go through the same thing. Saw quite a lot of young fawns too which is cute. We kept walking up to Todai-ji, stopped for an ice cream, then went to the temple to see the huge Buddha statue. It was a good experience to see this temple, but at least for me it wasn't my favourite part of the trip. I know for many others though it's really great to see so don't knock it off your list if you're interested in it! I'm glad I went once but probably won't return. Spent some more time just chilling around Nara and looking at the temples and shrines around the place. We went back to Osaka for around 4pm. Spent the evening in Osaka again, no rain this time! Oh this was about the time I was developing a sore throat, a little bit nerve wracking but fully vaccinated + boosters and have had covid previously so was fairly certain it wasn't that. Even so, my partner was coughing a bit which is the start of the cold we both had for the rest of the trip 😔
09/05 - Osaka Aquarium, Dotenbori I didn't put the aquarium on my plan initially but we had another spare day in Osaka and I do like visiting aquariums + my partner likes penguins a lot and they had a lot there. It was a cool experience, a lot of families as to be expected but it wasn't packed so lots of opportunities to see the animals and fish :) The two whales were very cool, they're so massive. We also got to see their rockhopper penguin conservation area, you could see them sitting on their eggs. I recommend the aquarium to any families planning to be in Osaka, it's pretty easy to get to and the station gives clear directions on where to go to get to the aquarium and the nearby lego park. After the aquarium we went back to Dotenbori and looked around the various book-offs as my partner was looking for screen protectors. If you're interested in any Japanese media I can recommend them too, I found some games in there that were a lot cheaper than you find in the West in much better condition. Our coughs worsened by evening which wasn't great, we weren't doing much more in super crowded areas but it's obviously not good anyway. We were wearing masks everywhere beforehand but it made it more important. We did end up getting some Bron, if you're in Japan and have a cough then I do recommend it but just be aware that it contains codeine. We got some from a place that specifically had a pharmacy section, you bring the box to the cashier and they'll give you the actual bottle from behind the counter. Really really great stuff, much better than anything you can get without a prescription in the UK which was annoying as my cough was subsequently worse for about 5 days once I got back!! It's pretty much gone now though (lasted longer likely due to asthma but it was gone for my partner after a couple days of being back). Overall I really enjoyed Osaka, all the cities we went to were cool but for me Osaka was my favourite :)

Tokyo

10/05 - Shinkansen, Airbnb We left Osaka for Tokyo and took the Shinkansen back. We did splash out a bit and took the green car with seats on the Fuji side. I fell asleep for most of the trip but woke in time to see Fuji for the roughly 6-7 minutes it was viewable for. It was my only time to see Fuji due to the weather being almost clear that day aside from a single cloud going right across the mountain. It didn't block the peak though so I don't feel too robbed 😆. If/when we visit Japan again I would like to see it again closer but it was still a great sight. Once we reached Shinagawa station, we switched to the local train to head to our airbnb in Shinjuku once again (although closer to Shibuya this time whereas we were more North before). We were staying in a pretty close knit residential area but did a bit of a hello to the neighbours which was nice. We had done the luggage forwarding again but had set it to come the next day so we would be the people available for receiving it. Spent the time around the airbnb and also tried having an uber eats delivered (which worked great lol).
11/05 - Shibuya, Shinjuku We spent most of this day around Shibuya as we wanted a few souvenirs for family and also hadn't visited Shibuya properly. Went to the crossing, then spent time mainly shopping and going around one of the Donkis. Pretty rainy again but not a problem for a shopping day.
12/05 - RX-7 Day Trip (Lake Hinuma, Ibaraki Flower Park), Kabukicho We used Omoshiro Rent-a-car for the RX-7 (for those interested, here's the car - https://i.imgur.com/HRX4DYy.png ) and they were great. We had it pre-booked again before we arrived in Japan as it's a pretty sought after car to rent. Bit banged up but nothing major, and we had it booked for I think 8 hours? We did return it a little early as we didn't really have anything else to do and didn't want to be late with a return as the shop closed at the time we'd be returning it. A funny part of the terms you agree to is no Initial D style driving. For the trip itself, we didn't have anything major planned so I made a makeshift plan to just go a bit out of Tokyo and visit somewhere different. I found this lake on maps that'd be not too far, didn't realise until we were there that it's less a lake for sights and more for fishing 😅. No worries though, as the main reason was to get some driving in and enjoy having the car (which was achieved!). Got some snacks from a 7/11 then went off. We had a lot of time left so we drove to Ibaraki flower park, yet another quick find from scrolling around Google Maps. It was a very beautiful park, they have a rose market there as well as selling some fresh produce. It's a small charge to go in the park but it's worth it for the hour or more you might spend there and will go towards the park maintenance. Also being the middle of Spring of course it's going to be beautiful with all the new blooms (: We spent time there admiring the countryside and being sad about going back home the next day. We went back to the rental place afterwards, also during this drive was the time where we were finding it so funny how we were sticking to the speed limits in this beautiful car and being overtaken by massive trucks going so much faster. We did have a moment that was like from a movie though, we entered the expressway after the tolls and as we were pulling in an older Honda NSX was being driven next to us. The guy driving looked over and gave us a nod with a straight face before pulling ahead a little so we could be behind him. We ruined that movie mood by both being so excited by how cool the moment was but hey it's one of those things that won't be forgotten at least!! He zoomed off a few minutes later but we weren't risking anything to keep pace ahaha. We returned the car then went back to Shinjuku for our final evening in Japan. We went back to Kabukicho and I was able to see the arch in red :') Took photos of the karaoke place that's in the games, would've gone in but my throat was killing!! So we just stuck to being outside. We went back to the area around our airbnb, had our last dinner there then went and packed up ready to go home.
13/05 - Home :') Our flight was leaving a little before 9am so we were leaving the airbnb for 5ish. Early start but as we'd gotten packed up it wasn't too bad of a walk to the station. Grabbed our train, it was fairly early on one of the lines that goes direct to the station so we were able to get on with ease. The train was rammed by the time we reached the station. No problems getting through the airport, got to our gate and then flew home.

Final Notes

I had such a good time in Japan, I loved being there and hope to return within the next few years if life permits!! We definitely missed some of those 'must-do's' such as Osaka Castle, any of the theme parks, Arishiyama Monkey Park, actually doing Karaoke, and some of the food options due to my own anxieties walking into places lol. That said, I don't regret the things we did end up doing and it just means I'll have to fit some of those into my next trip 😉. Although my partner would like to visit more Northern areas like Hokkaido or Sendai so we'll see!
We didn't have probably as much packed into each day as could've been but for me this was perfect and a great time for my first time. If you managed to read all this then thank you very much, and please let me know if you have any questions about the trip!! I'll be happy to answer. Thanks for reading!

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Just Die Already
ken follet
Kingdom: Classic
King Oddball
Knights of Pen & Paper 2
Knight's Retreat
Labyronia RPG
Labyronia RPG 2
Laser Disco Defenders
Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail
Lemuria Lost in Space
Levelhead
LIBERATED
Little Misfortune
Livelock
Lostwinds
Lovecraft’s Untold Stories
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Lust for Darkness
Luxor 3
Mages of Mystralia
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Mini Ninjas
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco: What’s Yours Is Mine
Moon Hunters
MotoGP 15
Morkredd
MOUNT & BLADE
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Memory of Us
Mystery Loss
Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
Nba Playgrounds
Neon Chrome
Newt One
Nex Machina
Neverending Nightmares
Neverout
Niffelheim
Night Call
Nowhere Prophet
Odallus: The Dark Call
Of Orcs And Men
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Racer
Out of Space
Overload
Overlord II x 2
Pac-Man 256
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm
Particula
Pathway
Pawnbarian
Payday 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Perfect Universe
Pesterquest
Pickers
Pikuniku
Pirate Pop Plus
Pixel Heroes
Pixplode
Planet Alpha
Planet of the Eyes
Police Stories
port royale 3 gold
Post Master
POPUP DUNGEON
Prehistoric Tales
Quantum Conundrum
Radio Commander
Rapture Rejects
Rebel Galaxy
red orchestra 2
Re-Legion
REMOTHERED: BROKEN PORCELAIN
Remnants of Naezith
RESIDENT EVIL HD
Rezrog
Retimed
Ring of Pain
Road Redemption
ROCK OF AGES 3: MAKE & BREAK
Röki
Roombo: First Blood
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RRRR
Rustler
Sakura Agent
Sakura Angels
Sakura Beach
Sakura Beach 2
Sakura Fantasy
Sakura Magical Girls
Sakura Shrine Girls
Sakura Spirit
Samorost 3
Serial Cleaner
Seven enchanted edition
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
SIMULACRA + SIMULACRA 2
Sins Of The Demon
Shadowrun Hong Kong Extended Edition
Shoppe Keep
Shoppe Keep 2
Smile For Me
SKULLY
Smoke and Sacrifice
Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing
Soulblight
Space Pilgrim Academy: Reunion
space run galaxy
Speedrunners
Spellspire
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
StarCrossed
State of mind
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stealth Bastard Deluxe x 2
Steamburg
Still Life 2
Storm Of Spears
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Sudden Strike 4
Sundered
Super Hexagon
Supraland
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Swag and Sorcery
Syberia
Syberia II
Syberia 3
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tabletop Playground
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Telefrag VR
Teslagrad
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
The Amazing American Circus
Tharsis
The Ball
The Deed
The dropping of the dead
The Dwarves
The Hex
The King's Bird
The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition
The Lost Crown
The Purring Quest
There Came An Echo
The Haunted Island, A Frog Detective Game
The Signal From Tölva
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
ToeJam & Earl Back in the Groove
Tomb Raider IV: The Last Revelation
Tomb Raider V: Chronicles
Tomb Raider Legend
Tomb Raider Underworld
Tooth and Tail
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Tropico 4
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Underhero
Unrest
Valnir Rok Survival RPG
Vane
Velocity Ultra Deluxe
Vertiginous Golf
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Wanderlust: Travel Stories
Wandersong
warlock 2
war tech fighters
Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
Without Within 2
Whispers of a machine
Wings of Vi
Yoku's Island Express
Youropa
Zoo Park
TIER 4
Acceleration of SUGURI 2
Age of Wonders III
Alien Spidy
Almost There: The Platformer
Angvik
A New Beginning – Final Cut
AtmaSphere
Battle vs chees
Circuit Breakers
Corridor Z
CreaVures
Cubicle Quest
Dagon – The Eldritch Box DLC
Dashing Dinos
Death Fungeon
Drawful 2
DungeonUp x 2
Earth 2150 Trilogy
Enclave
Endless Space – Collection
Evergarden
Formula Car Racing
Fluffy Horde
Gorky 17
Guts And Glory
Hacknet Deluxe Edition
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Holy Potatoes a Spy Story
Homefront
Horizon Shift
Joggernauts
Journey of a Roach
Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle
Left in the Dark: No One on Board
Leisure Suit Larry 5 - Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work
Leisure Suit Larry 6 - Shape Up Or Slip Out
Little Racers STREET
Lock Parsing 2
Love is Dead
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Memoria
Moss Destruction
NAIRI: Tower of Shirin
NeuroVoider
No Time to Explain Remastered
One Finger Death Punch
OneShift
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Pesterquest
Purrfect Date – Visual Novel/Dating Simulator
Raceland
Regions Of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball x 2
Rencounter
Renoir
Return to Mysterious Island
Resort Boss: Golf
Rym 9000
Seraph
Shooting Stars!
Silence
Sky Break
Space Pilgrim Episode III: Delta Pavonis
Space Pilgrim Episode IV: Sol
Spandex Force: Champion Rising
Steel Rats
Super Daryl Deluxe
Sword Legacy Omen
Taxi
The Adventure Pals x 3
The Deed: Dynasty
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Spiral Scouts
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
Tiny Troopers
ttv2
Twilight City Love as a Cure
Two Worlds: Epic Edition
Tumblestone
Unhack
Unhack 2
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
White Noise Online
World Keepers Last Resort
Zombie Party x 2

​
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Banners of Ruin
Biped
CORPSE FACTORY
DUSK ’28: ULTIMATE EDITION
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dishonored
Eldest Souls
Gedonia
Hero’s Hour
Lamentum (HL 4,70 zł)
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus
Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee
Oddworld: Munch’s Oddysee
Oddworld: New 'n’ Tasty with Alf & Abe DLC Packs
Oddworld: Soulstorm Enhanced Edition
Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath HD
Rain World
Röki
THE GAME OF LIFE
The Ascent
The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
Trolley Problem, Inc.
​
Fanatical Mystery Bundles Leftovers
​
Noitu Love 2: Devolution x 2
OUTBUDDIES DX
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Adventures of Chris
Serial Cleaner
Dark Devotion
Kingdom Rush Frontiers
Everhood
The Town of Light x 2
Crumble
Dead End Job x 2
Valfaris
Garbage x 2
Alchemy Garden
Double Kick Heroes x 2
Nihilumbra
Dub Dash
Stick it to The Man!
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Reventure
Iron Marines
Beasts of Maravilla Island
Weaving Tides
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
White Night
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Doodle Derby
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Tesla Force
The Black Heart
Police Stories
From Space
DESOLATE
Just Die Already
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
​
TIER 0
Back 4 blood eu
Destiny 2 Planet of Peace Exclusive Emblem
Dirt Rally 2.0 + 3 DLC
F1 2012
F1 2019 Anniversary
Grand Theft Auto Vice City
Remnant from the Ashes
Road to Guangdong - Story-Based Indie Road Trip Driving Game
the wolf among us
​
TIER 1
Absolver
Bloodstained Ritual of the Night
borderlands Game of the year enhanced Edition
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection EU
Darksiders genesis
Doom Eternal
Duke Nukem Manhattan Project
Elex
Endless Space 2 – Deluxe Edition
friday the 13th
Geometry Wars 3 Dimensions Evolved Mystery
Genital Jousting
Grid Autosport
Grid ultimate edition
Golf With Friends
GoNNER BLüEBERRY EDiTION
guild wars 2 heroic edition
guild wars nightfall
Hitman Absolution
House Flipper
Just cause 3 XXL
Kingdom Rush
Kerbal Space Program x 2
Legend Of Grimrock
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
Little Dragons Cafe
Mafia III: Definitive Edition
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Maneater
Mordhau
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Outward US x 2
Overcooked 2 + Surf and Turf + Too Many Cooks
pathfinder wrath
PGA TOUR 2k21 x 2
Phantasmagoria
Portal Knights
Pro cycling manager 2019
Project Cars
Project CARS 2 + Japanese Cars Bonus Pack
Risen
Sairento VR
Scum
Second Extinction
Sonic Forces
Spyro Reignited Trilogy x 2
Starbound
Star Trek Bridge Crew
State of Decay 2
streets of rogue
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Tales of Zestiria
Team Sonic Racing
Tekken 7
The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion GOTY
The Division + DLC US
Tomb Raider GOTY
Total War: MEDIEVAL II – Definitive Edition
TRINE 2 Complete Story
TRINE 3 The Artifacts of Power
Tracks - The Train Set Game
WARHAMMER 40,000: Gladius- Relics of War
Warhammer 40000 : Mechanicus
Wasteland 2 Directors Cut
Wasteland 3
valkyria chronicles IV Complete
X-com 2
​
​
TIER 2
ABZU
Armello x 3
asterix obelix xxl3
Band of Defenders
batman arkham knight
Battle Chasers: Nightwar
Beyond Blue
BioShock Infinite
Book of Demons
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Choice Chamber
Chess Ultra
Cities skylines
civilization IV Complete Edition
Civilization 5
Dead by Daylight
Degrees of Separation
Drake Hollow
Driftland: The Magic Revival x 2
Endless Space 2
Europa Universalis IV
eXperience 112
FEZ
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Forced
From Space
Gamedec
Gato Roboto
Golf With Friends
Gunman Tales
Hotshot Racing
human fall flat
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Just Cause 3
Killing Floor 2
King's Bounty: Crossworlds
King’s Bounty: Warriors of the North - The Complete Edition
Last Oasis
Manhunt
Megadimension Neptunia VII
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 - War Chest Edition
METAL SLUG 3
Metro Last Light Redux
Miscreated
MO:Astray
Morphopolis
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Natural Selection 2
NecroWorm
Neo Cab
NEOVERSE
Not For Broadcast
Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
Odyssey - The Story of Science
OF MICE AND SAND -REVISED-
One Step From Eden
Opus Magnum
Overcooked
Overgrowth
PATHOLOGIC 2
Pillars Of Eternity
Phoenix Point Year one edition
Planespace Torment Enhanced Edition
Plunge
Quantum League
Quest of Dungeons
Railroad tycoon 3
Rise of Industry
River City Melee Mach
Roarr! The Adventures of Rampage Rex
Sanctuary RPG: Black Edition
Scribblenauts Unmasked
Scythe Digital Edition
Serious Sam 3 BFE
Shadowrun: Dragonfall - Director's Cut
Shing!
Skullgirls
Sinking Island
Slinger VR
SNIPER GHOST WARRIOR CONTRACTS
Sonic All Stars Transformed Collection
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Starbound
Star Wars Galactic Battlegrounds Saga
STAR WARS Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy
STAR WARS™ Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
STAR WARS The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
Star Wars Kotor 2
Star Wolves 3: Civil War
stick fight the game
Stronhold Crusader 2
Struggling
Styx Master of Shadows
SUPER TIME FORCE ULTRA
SurrounDead
Surviving Mars x 2
Swords of Gurrah
Tannenberg
THE KING OF FIGHTERS XIII STEAM EDITION
The Technomancer
tilt brush
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
The Bard’s Tale IV: Director’s Cut
The Beast Inside
The Gardens Between
The Incredible Adventures of Van Hesing
the long dark survival Edition
The Stillness of the Wind
The Swords of Ditto: Mormo’s Curse
The town of light
The walking dead the new frontier
The Wild Eight
Train Valley 2
Trüberbrook
Tropico 5
Tsioque
Unto The End
Valfaris
Voidship: The Long Journey
volcanoids
Wargroove
WARSAW
West of Dead x 2
Wizard Of Legends x 2
Worms Clan Wars
Without Within 3
XCOM: Chimera Squad
Yooka Laylee
Zwei: The Arges Adventure
Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection
​
​
TIER 3
112 Operator
911 Operator
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Ageless
AI War 2
Alan Wake's American Nightmare
Alien Shooter 2 Conscription
Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
angry video game nerd
Arcana Hearts 3
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
arma X
As Far As The Eye
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Atari Vault
AVEN COLONY
Before we Leave
Belladonna
BLACKHOLE
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Boomerang Fu
Bomber Crew - Deluxe Edition
Boreal Blade
Borealis
Bridge Constructor Playground
Broken Age x 3
Brothers – A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood
Cally's caves 3
Callys Caves 4
Capitalism 2
Carmageddon Max Damage
Cast of the Seven Godsends
Cepheus Protocol
Chaos Reborn
City Siege: Faction Island
COLT CANYON
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
Crazy Belts
crazy machines 3
Creeping Terror
Crowntakers
Crying Suns
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Cyber Hook
Dad Quest x 2
Dark Heritage: Guardians of Hope
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Death Squared
DESOLATE
Detached
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Dimension Drifter
Distrust : Polar Survival
Double Dragon IV
Draw Slasher
Duke Nukem Forever x 2
Dungeons 3
Dungeon Siege II
DV: Rings of Saturn
EarthNight
EarthX
Eliza
Enforcer: Police Crime Action
ENSLAVED™: Odyssey to the West™ Premium Edition
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Etherborn
Etherlords I & II
Evergarden
evoland
F1 2018
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Farming World
Fire
Fort Triumph
Fury Unleashed x 2
Garfield Kart
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Goat simulator
Golf Gang
God's Trigger
Go Home Dinosaurs
Going Under
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
GRIP: Combat Racing
Guilty Gear Sign
Gunscape Standard Edition
Hacknet + DLC
Heaven’s Vault
Heavy Burger
Heroes of Annihilated Empires
Hexologic
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hive Jump
Hopiko
HORACE
Hue
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
In Between
Innerspace
INMOST
Inside My Radio
Iris and the Giant
Iron Fisticle
John Wick
Just Die Already
ken follet
Kingdom: Classic
King Oddball
Knights of Pen & Paper 2
Knight's Retreat
Labyronia RPG
Labyronia RPG 2
Laser Disco Defenders
Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail
Lemuria Lost in Space
Levelhead
LIBERATED
Little Misfortune
Livelock
Lostwinds
Lovecraft’s Untold Stories
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Lust for Darkness
Luxor 3
Mages of Mystralia
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Mini Ninjas
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco: What’s Yours Is Mine
Moon Hunters
MotoGP 15
Morkredd
MOUNT & BLADE
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Memory of Us
Mystery Loss
Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
Nba Playgrounds
Neon Chrome
Newt One
Nex Machina
Neverending Nightmares
Neverout
Niffelheim
Night Call
Nowhere Prophet
Odallus: The Dark Call
Of Orcs And Men
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Racer
Out of Space
Overload
Overlord II x 2
Pac-Man 256
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm
Particula
Pathway
Pawnbarian
Payday 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Perfect Universe
Pesterquest
Pickers
Pikuniku
Pirate Pop Plus
Pixel Heroes
Pixplode
Planet Alpha
Planet of the Eyes
Police Stories
port royale 3 gold
Post Master
POPUP DUNGEON
Prehistoric Tales
Quantum Conundrum
Radio Commander
Rapture Rejects
Rebel Galaxy
red orchestra 2
Re-Legion
REMOTHERED: BROKEN PORCELAIN
Remnants of Naezith
RESIDENT EVIL HD
Rezrog
Retimed
Ring of Pain
Road Redemption
ROCK OF AGES 3: MAKE & BREAK
Röki
Roombo: First Blood
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RRRR
Rustler
Sakura Agent
Sakura Angels
Sakura Beach
Sakura Beach 2
Sakura Fantasy
Sakura Magical Girls
Sakura Shrine Girls
Sakura Spirit
Samorost 3
Serial Cleaner
Seven enchanted edition
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
SIMULACRA + SIMULACRA 2
Sins Of The Demon
Shadowrun Hong Kong Extended Edition
Shoppe Keep
Shoppe Keep 2
Smile For Me
SKULLY
Smoke and Sacrifice
Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing
Soulblight
Space Pilgrim Academy: Reunion
space run galaxy
Speedrunners
Spellspire
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
StarCrossed
State of mind
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stealth Bastard Deluxe x 2
Steamburg
Still Life 2
Storm Of Spears
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Sudden Strike 4
Sundered
Super Hexagon
Supraland
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Swag and Sorcery
Syberia
Syberia II
Syberia 3
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tabletop Playground
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Telefrag VR
Teslagrad
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
The Amazing American Circus
Tharsis
The Ball
The Deed
The dropping of the dead
The Dwarves
The Hex
The King's Bird
The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition
The Lost Crown
The Purring Quest
There Came An Echo
The Haunted Island, A Frog Detective Game
The Signal From Tölva
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
ToeJam & Earl Back in the Groove
Tomb Raider IV: The Last Revelation
Tomb Raider V: Chronicles
Tomb Raider Legend
Tomb Raider Underworld
Tooth and Tail
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Tropico 4
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Underhero
Unrest
Valnir Rok Survival RPG
Vane
Velocity Ultra Deluxe
Vertiginous Golf
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Wanderlust: Travel Stories
Wandersong
warlock 2
war tech fighters
Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
Without Within 2
Whispers of a machine
Wings of Vi
Yoku's Island Express
Youropa
Zoo Park
​
​
TIER 4
Acceleration of SUGURI 2
Age of Wonders III
Alien Spidy
Almost There: The Platformer
Angvik
A New Beginning – Final Cut
AtmaSphere
Battle vs chees
Circuit Breakers
Corridor Z
CreaVures
Cubicle Quest
Dagon – The Eldritch Box DLC
Dashing Dinos
Death Fungeon
Drawful 2
DungeonUp x 2
Earth 2150 Trilogy
Enclave
Endless Space – Collection
Evergarden
Formula Car Racing
Fluffy Horde
Gorky 17
Guts And Glory
Hacknet Deluxe Edition
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Holy Potatoes a Spy Story
Homefront
Horizon Shift
Joggernauts
Journey of a Roach
Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle
Left in the Dark: No One on Board
Leisure Suit Larry 5 - Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work
Leisure Suit Larry 6 - Shape Up Or Slip Out
Little Racers STREET
Lock Parsing 2
Love is Dead
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Memoria
Moss Destruction
NAIRI: Tower of Shirin
NeuroVoider
No Time to Explain Remastered
One Finger Death Punch
OneShift
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Pesterquest
Purrfect Date – Visual Novel/Dating Simulator
Raceland
Regions Of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball x 2
Rencounter
Renoir
Return to Mysterious Island
Resort Boss: Golf
Rym 9000
Seraph
Shooting Stars!
Silence
Sky Break
Space Pilgrim Episode III: Delta Pavonis
Space Pilgrim Episode IV: Sol
Spandex Force: Champion Rising
Steel Rats
Super Daryl Deluxe
Sword Legacy Omen
Taxi
The Adventure Pals x 3
The Deed: Dynasty
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Spiral Scouts
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
Tiny Troopers
ttv2
Twilight City Love as a Cure
Two Worlds: Epic Edition
Tumblestone
Unhack
Unhack 2
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
White Noise Online
World Keepers Last Resort
Zombie Party x 2

An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Banners of Ruin
Biped
CORPSE FACTORY
DUSK ’28: ULTIMATE EDITION
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dishonored
Eldest Souls
Gedonia
Hero’s Hour
Lamentum (HL 4,70 zł)
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus
Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee
Oddworld: Munch’s Oddysee
Oddworld: New 'n’ Tasty with Alf & Abe DLC Packs
Oddworld: Soulstorm Enhanced Edition
Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath HD
Rain World
Röki
THE GAME OF LIFE
The Ascent
The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
Trolley Problem, Inc.
Fanatical Mystery Bundles Leftovers
Noitu Love 2: Devolution x 2
OUTBUDDIES DX
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Adventures of Chris
Serial Cleaner
Dark Devotion
Kingdom Rush Frontiers
Everhood
The Town of Light x 2
Crumble
Dead End Job x 2
Valfaris
Garbage x 2
Alchemy Garden
Double Kick Heroes x 2
Nihilumbra
Dub Dash
Stick it to The Man!
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Reventure
Iron Marines
Beasts of Maravilla Island
Weaving Tides
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
White Night
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Doodle Derby
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Tesla Force
The Black Heart
Police Stories
From Space
DESOLATE
Just Die Already
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
TIER 0
Back 4 blood eu
Destiny 2 Planet of Peace Exclusive Emblem
Dirt Rally 2.0 + 3 DLC
F1 2012
F1 2019 Anniversary
Grand Theft Auto Vice City
Remnant from the Ashes
Road to Guangdong - Story-Based Indie Road Trip Driving Game
the wolf among us
TIER 1
Absolver
Bloodstained Ritual of the Night
borderlands Game of the year enhanced Edition
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection EU
Darksiders genesis
Doom Eternal
Duke Nukem Manhattan Project
Elex
Endless Space 2 – Deluxe Edition
friday the 13th
Geometry Wars 3 Dimensions Evolved Mystery
Genital Jousting
Grid Autosport
Grid ultimate edition
Golf With Friends
GoNNER BLüEBERRY EDiTION
guild wars 2 heroic edition
guild wars nightfall
Hitman Absolution
House Flipper
Just cause 3 XXL
Kingdom Rush
Kerbal Space Program x 2
Legend Of Grimrock
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
Little Dragons Cafe
Mafia III: Definitive Edition
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Maneater
Mordhau
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Outward US x 2
Overcooked 2 + Surf and Turf + Too Many Cooks
pathfinder wrath
PGA TOUR 2k21 x 2
Phantasmagoria
Portal Knights
Pro cycling manager 2019
Project Cars
Project CARS 2 + Japanese Cars Bonus Pack
Risen
Sairento VR
Scum
Second Extinction
Sonic Forces
Spyro Reignited Trilogy x 2
Starbound
Star Trek Bridge Crew
State of Decay 2
streets of rogue
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Tales of Zestiria
Team Sonic Racing
Tekken 7
The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion GOTY
The Division + DLC US
Tomb Raider GOTY
Total War: MEDIEVAL II – Definitive Edition
TRINE 2 Complete Story
TRINE 3 The Artifacts of Power
Tracks - The Train Set Game
WARHAMMER 40,000: Gladius- Relics of War
Warhammer 40000 : Mechanicus
Wasteland 2 Directors Cut
Wasteland 3
valkyria chronicles IV Complete
X-com 2
TIER 2
ABZU
Armello x 3
asterix obelix xxl3
Band of Defenders
batman arkham knight
Battle Chasers: Nightwar
Beyond Blue
BioShock Infinite
Book of Demons
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Choice Chamber
Chess Ultra
Cities skylines
civilization IV Complete Edition
Civilization 5
Dead by Daylight
Degrees of Separation
Drake Hollow
Driftland: The Magic Revival x 2
Endless Space 2
Europa Universalis IV
eXperience 112
FEZ
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Forced
From Space
Gamedec
Gato Roboto
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I don't really know where to start either, so I guess I'll start by saying I am a survivor.
Through no one's fault that lived in the house I grew up in, our childhood was very difficult. It was chaotic, turbulent, and often we had no running water. Our Parents split up when I was very young and there were periods of time where my father was simply not in the picture and my mother was more often than not in her room, so my siblings and I mostly managed that time on our own. When my mother pulled herself together and managed to raise us mostly alone, she attended college and earned her degree, becoming a special education teacher. As you can imagine, raising 4 kids on a teacher's salary, one with with severe disabilities, was incredibly hard for her to do. While my father did pay child support, he didn't make anywhere near enough to really help and his contributions was hardly enough to buy food for a month. Although I'm incredibly proud of my mother for working so hard to earn her degree, it was simultaneously the best and worse thing that could have happened to us. We had been receiving help from our state for my special needs sibling, and with her new job, we lost all the aid we had been getting for him and insurance refused to cover anything we had for him before the change. Things went downhill the years that followed and without going too deep into the details, cps was involved as the situation was becoming too dangerous for us all and my sibling was taken as a ward of the state. My father at that point has cleaned himself up and had been much more involved in our lives, but very early into my teen years he had to move away from us to find more work, and my relationship with my mother had become sour due to our resentments toward each other, so by the time I'd met him, I was desperate for any amount of love or attention.
I met him in while in a dark period of my life, my high school sweetheart, my ex-husband, he was my rock. I felt like he was the only person that held any interest in me, that would talk to me and listen to what I had to say, and he always knew how to make me feel better. But things didn't seem right to me, he would often talk badly of my family, but I was so angry and hurt at the time, I'm sure I didn't paint them in the best light so I didn't think anything of it. He would want me to do things with him, even when I was uncomfortable or tried to refuse, but I'd always give in eventually because I was afraid to lose him. He'd make comments about my body and make me feel like I was unworthy because of my body hair and my shape and I thought I was ugly. He'd broken up with me at one point without any explanation and only tried to date me again after I'd started dating someone else. When we did get back together, I tried even harder to keep him, and that's when I should have known what was actually happening. His comments came up more, he was more aggressive about what he wanted, and while at that point he had never hit me, he made me sleep with him when I said I couldn't do that/didn't want to. But I stayed because I didn't think anyone else loved me and I didn't know that what he was doing was wrong. My parents and I never talked about that kind of thing and my parents were single for most of my life up up until that point, and I didn't have step parents until I was in my late teens, so I didn't know that my experience was not normal in a healthy relationship.
As we grew older and graduated from high school I discovered that he had tried dating a girl I was close with and she warned me what he said and did so I broke up with him and started college on my own, only to learn we had the same psychology class and he pulled me back in. I wasn't doing well in school and tensions between my mother and I had only gotten worse, so when his parents offered for me to move in with them, I jumped at the opportunity. The only rule being I had to go to school or at least be working, which I followed, but at that point he had quit school and was constantly either quitting jobs or just stopped going altogether, and started volunteering at a VFD, so I felt obligated to earn an income for us in order to stay so I quit school and stated working. I was never allowed to see our bank details, I was never given the login nor would he let me see the account so I never knew where the money was going, but I didn't complain because I had food, running water, clothes, and a roof over my head and that was enough for me. I know that it paid for the car insurance for his vehicle, and an awful lot of subway, but I don't know what else he spent the money on. Eventually I needed dental care, which my family and I had not been able to get much of, and he needed access to mental health services and my income was not enough to cover either of those so I married him and I joined the military as I felt I didn't have any other options. He was ecstatic, but my family took the news hard and it only caused more discourse.
After joining, things did not improve. I remember finishing up bootcamp and being so excited with how much money I would be earning, I thought we'd never have to worry about it again, and I was so happy to be able to provide for him in ways that I had not been able to before. I would be earning a free education, getting health care, and eventually maybe I could raise a family like I always wanted, but felt was out of reach for me. It was only after I graduated that I learned he spent everything. He only returned some items he had bought because one of my siblings found out and made him give some back. After the graduation he wanted to move to where I was training for my job, so he drove up with all our things and stayed in a hotel room close to base. As you can imagine, that was also very expensive. We eventually got housing, but we had almost nothing when we moved in. He got a job on base and would watch all the women as they did PT, would drink every night at home, and things only got more turbulent the longer we lived on our own. Eventually he quit his job and would drink all day and get upset with me when I'd come home from work because I was too tired to do much and I was struggling to keep up in training so I was studying late at the school house almost everyday.
Eventually our relationship broke down after I had made a horrifying discovery, something so terrible that I couldn't even look past it. At that point I had made up my mind that the marriage was over, I couldn't be with him anymore, and I left to stay with a friend for a few days. During this time I had made a terrible mistake and cheated on my ex-husband. Not because I wanted revenge, but because I wanted someone to care about me, even if it was for the wrong reasons, but it only solidified my decision. After building up the courage to go home and tell him everything, the cheating, that what he was doing was wrong, and that I couldn't take it anymore and that I wanted a divorce. I didn't even get a chance to tell him before he told me if I ever left him like that or ever tried to end the relationship he 'would be upstairs with a gun in his mouth'. He had never threated himself or others before this so I believed him and I ended up staying and keeping everything a secret out of fear of what he would do. I took apart the gun he bought with the money I had earned and hid them in different parts of the house to keep him from killing himself and I told him he needed to stop drinking, seek therapy, and either get a job or work on school/trade school, and I would seek therapy for myself. I asked for marriage counseling, but he refused and said he'd do therapy on his own. He only went to a few sessions before quitting. I went to receive services on base for my marital issues and as I started talking to a counselor, she made it very clear to me that what he was doing was abuse and she would not allow me to leave the building unless I filed some kind of report on him, and me not clearly understanding how reporting worked in the military entirely, panicked and filled a closed report on him so at least there was a paper trail. I never went back because I was in denial about the abuse and I did not think I was a victim, if anything I felt as guilty as him.
As my career progressed, things did settle down for awhile. I had finished up school and at that point we had moved to my first duty station, he was still drinking, but not as often and did start working again part time and I had started becoming more relaxed. I met the division I would be working with and I loved them all. They were the first real experience I had ever had with stability and it was something I needed. I became more of a workaholic, volunteering to stay later to accomplish more tasks as we were shorthanded and I wanted to be more helpful to the division. Things had been going well for the most part, but I was still deep in denial about things he was doing. He had taken out credit cards without telling me and even took one out in my name without me knowing, I only found out after they called me to apologize for the card being late and that it was on the way. I was so shocked I didn't correct her and he maxed out all the cards. I still had no access to the account, but at this point I could text the bank to get the balance, but still didn't know where the money was going. He started to be more aggressive about intimacy and demanding more and more of me, and there were times where I'd wake up to him touching me or he would just wake me up for sex so I wasn't able to sleep much and I was tired all the time. I didn't say anything or try to stop him anymore because I felt like I deserved it for what I had done, and it was easier to give him what he wanted than to try to fight him or make him stop. I was afraid of what would happen if I ever said no.
After this point in time, we finally had an idea of when I was to be deployed and things began to ramp up. I was away from home more often, but it was still several months away from deployment and with the holidays coming up, we decided to go big that year and make thanksgiving dinner. A few days after thanksgiving, I wasn't feeling well and was experiencing abdominal pain, but with my PCOS symptoms I just figured my cycle was coming and was hitting me harder than usual, but he recognized that something was wrong and made me go to the hospital and I had emergency surgery for my appendix. I remember him wanting to take a picture of my stomach because 'I would never look the same again', all I could think about before that was how scared I was of the surgery and how long it would take for me to go back to work, but after that it made me feel even more ugly as it was one of the only things he ever really said he liked about me and I felt vain for worrying about the scars. The surgery didn't go as planned, and instead of the small incisions I was told I would have, I woke up to a massive scar right down the center on my abdomen. My appendix had been too close to bursting and they had to make a larger opening to remove it, and all I could remember was the blinding pain as they wheeled me back to my room where I was left alone with him. I did not receive any pain medication for several hours after and it was the worst pain I'd ever experienced in my life. When they finally did give me something, it wasn't enough and I was put on Dilaudid to manage my pain. The second night of my week long stay, my husband was lying in bed with me and asked me for sex. I was in so much pain, all I could think about was how horrible I felt, and I said no to him for the first time in nearly two years. That I needed to get better first and I didn't think I could handle it with the pain I was in, but he kept touching me and begging, saying the Dilaudid would keep me from being in too much pain and I felt so scared that I said yes because every time before I had said no he took what he wanted anyway and I was afraid that he would hurt me. All I can remember doing was looking out the window and the night, watching the cars drive away on the the highway and the cars leaving the parking lot and as he pulled up my gown, and I pushed the button for more medicine, but it wasn't enough to stop the pain. I remember the visitors I had after, I remember my division getting me flowers and a get well soon card with so many kind words that I kept all this time and all I could do was push the button for more medicine, but it still hurt so much. I had to walk after and every day to keep clots from forming and to start recovering, but my pain never diminished and I was discharged from the hospital.
In the months that followed my pain changed and seemed like it was spreading, but it never stopped hurting, sometimes it wouldn't be so bad, but others were so bad I couldn't get out of bed. He was still asking for sex and other favors, but with less frequency as he seemed more frustrated that I couldn't preform. Every time I had to, I was in so much pain I could not function at home or at work and it affected me very deeply. We tried getting help for my pain and to try and figure out what was going on, but all the doctors I saw accused me of drug seeking behaviors and wouldn't offer me any help or send me to someone who could help me. It got so bad that I started begging them for help and begging them not to give me anything until we knew what was wrong, all the while deployment was fast approaching and I was afraid that I would either miss the deployment, or that I would go, but still not know what was wrong and drag my division down. I became very depressed and started drinking as we made more appointments. I remember the 3rd or 4th time they sent me to gyno for my issues I had become so frustrated and angry that I laid everything out with the doctor, every single little thing I could think of I told them (all with the exception of my ex husbands treatment) and she didn't ask me any questions, she didn't ask me about the details of my many symptoms at this point, or try to understand how I was feeling. She instead asked me how my relationship was with my father was. All the while he was sitting in the room with us, the real cause to all my pain in aguish, just casually listening in, waiting to complain how I wasn't having enough sex with him as he did in most of the appointments and I became enraged. I defended my father, and I put my uniform back on and said I'd like to speak with another doctor and asked her directly how to file a report, not against my ex, but her for saying something so horrible about my Dad, the only man in my life I loved more than any other in the world. After I left I called to make another appointment as I couldn't see anyone else that day.
When I was finally sent to pain management, deployment was two months away and I was terrified. I wanted to go so badly because it meant I could get away from him, I could finally leave him and he would never be able to reach me so long as I was on the ship and safe with my division, but nothing worked out the way I had hoped for. I was told it was Fibromyalgia. That this condition was life long and there was no cure, that I'd not only be removed from the ship, but that I'd have to leave the military all together. I was devastated, and the little patience he did give me while we tried to get a diagnosis quickly disappeared. I was put on several different medications to manage my symptoms, but he continued to make me have sex, even when we were told not to so I could have a chance to let my body recover, and things got worse the more I pushed back. The medication was meant to help me sleep because my pain could be better managed if I slept better, but he would wake me up at night and hurt me, and it never stopped. One night, when I was on Ambien, I had gone to bed and I remember falling asleep next to him, but I woke up to him on top of me, inside me, it hurt so much and I was in so much pain and it was so dark I didn't recognize him. I tired to fight him off me, but the medicine was so strong I couldn't stop him and he pinned my arms down. I couldn't stop crying and he finally stopped. I can't remember if he finished or not because I fell back asleep crying and flaring up. He continued this kind of behavior for the months that followed and although he never went that far again, he did continue to make me have sex and continued to hurt me in my sleep to the point of waking me up, claiming he loved me too much to stop. I didn't feel safe enough to take Ambein anymore and eventually stopped it all together, I didn't sleep for 4 days after that. All of this was happening as I was removed from the ship and placed on limited duty orders to await my medical board, placed in therapy, physical therapy, and many other appointments and medication changes to try to get my symptoms under control, but things became harder for me to manage and my drinking only got worse. When I finally escaped him, with the help of my now husband, I stopped all treatments and medications to manage my symptoms. To this day I cannot bring myself to be in a hospital, doctor's office, or take anything other than the things I took as a teen because I know how they work and that I can defend myself when I take them.
I can't bring myself to write anymore tonight, but there were so many things that happened that it's too much for me to write it all down and while I know he did many terrible things, I also was not innocent and I broke my vows. I will never defend myself for cheating, I know it was wrong and to this day I punish myself for it, but I do not regret finally learning that sex was not something you take from someone you love, that it was not something that is forced on you, it's not supposed to hurt you. Rape is not a consequence for cheating, you might destroy your marriage, you might end a relationship or somehow work it all out and stay together, but you do not deserve to go through that even when you make such a terrible mistake. If they can do so many awful things and you stay with them, forgive them, and still try to make it work, why give them so much grace and not give yourself even the smallest amount? You are a human being who is deserving of love and dignity, you do not deserve abuse. If anyone reads this please know that if you feel alone, if you're in this situation still, know that I love you and that when you are free, things will get so much better for you I promise. You are worthy of love and your deserve better.