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2021.05.04 00:30 rwstamper A subreddit devoted to reality news from

Delivering top reality news, images, and headlines from Soap Dirt on 90 Day Fiance, 1000-Lb Sisters, Little People Big World, MBFFL, and more.

2019.03.31 03:45 badon_ r/AAMasterRace: Since 1907, 98% market domination. AA batteries are the best thing ever.

Future-proof your life. If you use only AA batteries and you want 3 spares, you only need 3 spares. With 5 different batteries, you need 15 spares plus chargers. With AA you can carry it all in your pocket. AA-compatible devices can include AAA, AAAA, C, D, F, 14500, 18650, 21700, 26650, 32600, 32650, etc. Right to repair was first lost from tolerating proprietary batteries, pay per charge, and self-destruct explosions. To regain right to repair, you need the right to put in standard batteries.

2023.04.01 12:58 Dot2366i What's the Edicate for changing Characters?

Etiquette*, stupid bed brain.
Hey guys, sorry if this is a bit of a noob question. I've been into RPGs for a long time, I used to DM stupid homebrew games without a proper system back in high-school, joshed around with some of the online games, and have even recently gotten into DnD around a year ago. In that time I've found myself, somehow, getting to DM a campaign on the side, and for the first time, actually be a player!
I was still unused to the system and decided to go rather simple. I made a Goblin Battlemaster Fighter who wanted to become a knight, fighting against his monstrous urges to do battle against evil for the good of the land and to prove his old master didn't waist her time in training him.
I love the little dork, but it's starting to get a bit stale. I built him to be a melee mulching machine who can chat up a storm, namely to boast of his deeds and rally the people, but he's got a 10 in wisdom and an 8 in intelligence, meaning that whenever the party is negotiating or researching, he's little better than a growling dog who fails every arcana, nature, or investigation check.
Plus, while plentiful feats and the different maneuvers do help, I can't help but finding myself drawn to trying out other classes... A dementia ridden dampir paladin who hasn't even realized he broken his oath, and is just chatting to his risen dead as if they were his couriers...? Yes please!
So I'm left wondering.. How would I go about swapping characters? My goblin, through sheer boneheaded bluntness, has become rather pivotal to the overarching campaign, basically being the driving force behind getting the kingdom to realize there is an internal threat while rallying forces to combat it using oaths and bargains.
Ontop of his importance to the current story, my DM has been rather kind with letting him have story beats, and two players in the party afore the Goblin as their mascot, and another outright refuses to let him go... His "licking things to see if they're magic"-Arcana checks have rather endeared him to the Sorcerer.
I don't want to burden the story, and I'd hate to be a drag to my friends in the party, so what should I do?
submitted by Dot2366i to DnD [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 12:54 Lovedd1 So sad I had to turn down the NICEST client today. I was unable to do a short notice walk for her and she sent me a $10 gift card 😭

So sad I had to turn down the NICEST client today. I was unable to do a short notice walk for her and she sent me a $10 gift card 😭 submitted by Lovedd1 to RoverPetSitting [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 12:50 Deafbok9 Milo crossed the rainbow bridge today.

Milo crossed the rainbow bridge today.
Today, I am broken.
This year has had one emotional gut punch after another, from not making the SA Deaf Rugby world cup squad to personal issues to needing a full kitchen rebuild...and now today.
Goodbye is the hardest thing to say.
Milo crossed the rainbow bridge at 08h37. He went peacefully and easily in our arms after spending a last glorious morning in a patch of sunshine. He knew he was loved to the end - and let us know he loved us.
He was the first dog I had that was mine. The little idiot moved out with me when I left my parents' home because he kept tangling with their German Shepherds - the worst fight resulted in him getting a puncture through his snout, & when the skin slipped over the break...He swelled up like a balloon. Looked like one of those animals in the "If animals were fat" comic short animations.
So, on moving day, my mother announced that either my brother or I would have to take him.
So, that was it. One potato dog & a bachelor in a tiny wooden hut.
He was my companion throughout my 20s. He was there when I started dating my wife, & I think managed to capture her heart as much as I did.
He was full of rubbish. Came to us addicted to coffee & tea - used to whine & get the shakes for it if we didn't give him the last little bit in the mug!
Always loved just being with us.
He managed to surprise us often, though - at an SPCA dog walk/charity event, this lazy little couch potato WON an agility competition! He'd never so much as done a course before in his life, but went with my wife & flew over all the obstacles.
Won a few months' worth of food for himself off that one, which really helped my student budget...
When we got married & moved to Westville, he bullied our landlady's Great Danes mercilessly. Schmuck.
Then there was the Dassie incident. He cornered it behind our flat.There was much barking. As we got up to investigate, he came flying back, blood everywhere, before turning around and hurtling out again. I had to guide the very upset rodent to the gate with a broom, & the sausage added another scar on his nose to his collection of battle scars.
He also chased a few alpacas on a visit to a friend's farm. Never did actually click to his actual size, and always, always was larger than life.
There were scary moments, too, like the time he almost drowned after falling in our landlord's pool the first day after we moved in.
A move down to Durban North meant trips to the beach. We also got to meet "Uncle Pete", our last landlord, who took a real shine to him & would often take him with on adventures with his dogs whilst we were at work.
As he got older, the walks got shorter, & eventually he became the talk of the Umhlanga promenade because dad had to carry him every time - eventually in his own shoulder-slung bag.
He was there for our engagement, our wedding, and every anniversary.
He helped us through the tough times, through the fights and the tears and the disappointments that life throws at you.
He kept us sane during lockdown...(Did he really..?)
At long last, we landed in our first home that was ours. One blind, deaf, but faithful old boy in tow, with Bakkies, a rescue cat we'd picked up along the way. They tolerated each other, with moments of affection. Bakkies went first.
This week, we knew it was the end.
We had one last glorious day.
Break-up day at school, so mom & dad were home early. We got to sit outside in the sunshine in our little garden together.
We went to the park & got spoilt rotten.
Chimkin nuggets. Biltong. All the cuddles.
We got a hoof, our favourite treat.
Then we sat outside with mom and dad, and got to have coffee again after years of "sobriety", having been weaned off his addiction soon after we got married.
A beautiful morning for our last day on earth.
We got to sit with mom and dad for a few hours in a patch of Sun. There were head scritches and tail wags.
A last dance with mom.
An hour or so just sitting on dad's lap.
In the end, he slipped away peacefully - one last lick, tail going slowly, as he fell asleep in my arms.
Farewell, Milo.
You were the best dog anyone could have hoped for.
submitted by Deafbok9 to Dachshund [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 12:48 TheFallenWater AITA for not wanting to talk (and connect) with my family?

Before beginning this whole text of a heckhole, I want to mention: I am aware that I am the bad guy to an extent.
I think I want to start this whole ordeal from the beginning. I (20 F) am a second-year university student, studying an asian language. I was born in the capital city of our country and most of the closest maternal family members live there as well. Due to my paternal family living 2,5 hours away, and my father wanting to help them out, we moved to the countryside where my brother (18) was born.
I remember that around the time my brother was about to be born, I think I felt neglected and there are stories about me getting jelous over stuff with him, which also continued well into our teenager years. That's not particularly important, but I wanted to mention this, because the feeling of jelousy also came from the neglect that I might have gotten from my parents. My father wanted to have kids but he didn't really tend to us physically, nor mentally. I understand that there are people who just can't deal with kids and their world, the way they keep talking etc. Around the time my brother was born, my father went abroad to work there, and continued to come home every weekend. Due to the language barrier, which he continuously tried to close, he didn't have much of a patience. My mother had a very deep depression after my brother was born, which came down to me, a very outspoken little girl being quite annoying. My first trauma might have come from that, and also, my father didn't even try to help my mother get out of depression as far as I'm concerned, only my maternal parents (who moved with us to the countryside) were taking care of her.
Either way, I always felt that my brother got everything he asked for, while I always had to work really hard and even then I was always reprimanded that I have to take care of my brother while our parents are away (me 5-8, my brother 3-6), have to grow up, have responsibility towards my actions. Due to this I always felt like I wasn't really able to understand and get into the fun groups of my peers.
Backing up a bit, we had the old school discipline, slaps sometimes, verbal abuse sometimes, but the main things that I remember are stuff like: I was around 4-7 and wanted to play with my father. He said no multiple times but I really just wanted to connect with him and play. After maybe the 3-6th no, he got really mad and he shouted at me to get out he didn't want to play. Another time was when my mother asked me to give our dog (house with big garden, so dog lived outside) fresh water, but instructed me that the season being winter, I have to get the ice out with warm water and then give the dog a not so cold, nor warm water (maybe?). Either way, I did it the good way, however my father was outside the whole time, when I just finished changing the water he got there, misunderstood the whole situation and slapped me saying "what are you giving to the dog" or something along the line. A couple of seconds later I somehow communicated to him that I did it the right way so...yea.
I wanted to be fun to be with, to make lasting relationships, to be important to others. That's why at the age of 10-13 I got into a group of girls with whom I spent my time, etc, and also on whom I spent money. Foolish, yes, but I was desperate and wanted affection and appreciation. Someday I just realized that those same girls were whispering about me and blatantly looking at me while doing so. I became really sad and mad, which escalated into a shorter period of depression. (I have been going to therapy for another thing in the past 2 years, but recently my psychologist made me do a test about depression, so yes, the result came out pretty high which made me realise that even that event and before that I had some sort of depression, I/we just didn't realise that)
My mother was the first one to notice something was wrong and made my father (with whom I really didn't want to speak) give me a speech about how I should never think of myself as nothing and that I should just study and get better than everyone else. This was in 7th grade. That speech gave me motivation and my grades became much much better, I got into my desired high school, after which came uni. No, that experience of bullying was not in the least good, but without it I wouldn't be here, where I am.
Putting that aside, I wasn't really allowed to go to my classmates' parties etc, but I was almost fine with these during primary school. Getting into high school, I became friends with two groups of girls and I really enjoyed my time there. However my private life, my parents relationship to be precise, got worse. They argued a lot and in 10th grade, one night I was going to shower, my brother was locked up in his room, while our parents were arguing in the kitchen. I was already crying but I suddenly heard a thud, picked up a towel and finally went out to a scene where my mother was sitting, crying, my father standing next to her, one of his hands holding hers, the other one just up in the air as if trying to hit. I shouted to stop, my brother rushed out of his room the same time I did from the bathroom. It took a couple of seconds but my father finally looked at us and I swear I could see a kind of cloud getting out of his eyes. I mean I almost saw the rage cloud... I don't remember what exactly happened after that but that was one of the scariest things I have ever witnessed in real life.
Another major thing before getting into the present is that, (I am a summer child) I was 16, when 5 of us, all girls thought about going to the beach for one day. There's a lake around 1-2 hours away with train, we would have just gone for 6 hours at most. I asked my mom (nail artist) and her client where it would be allright to go, since out of 5 of us, it was only my father who maybe wouldn't have allowed me to go. My mother actually wanted to rush me out and just go, she was so happy haha. So everything was set, now I just had to call my father up and ask him so I did. He said that "I know you are a cool, strong girl, I believe in you but I think we should wait until you are 17" (literally 1,5 month away. I said okay, but later he said no again. I got over it pretty quickly but after about a month my mother told me that he actually called her up how it would be bad, what if I got a boyfriend, got pregnant and ruined my whole career and life, etc. She has been fuming for a while, but after knowing this, I immediately became even more reluctant of wanting to just not talk, interact with my father in any sort of way. Basically not even be near him. Nothing.
Fast forward, it was the week of exams, I got sick, so couldn't attend the math exam, so I had panic attacks wich stayed (and stay) with me for a long time after that. My father basically didn't even care, thought it was nothing, etc. But in the end, I graduated, it was all fine.
I moved to the capital for my studies and finally felt... Alive? Definitely a bit safer and much free than before. Like a dog finally getting out of leash haha
Depression and anxiety have been with me since childhood, but this time it got the best of me so the first semester of uni is the one I'm not very proud of. Didn't attend much of the classes, didn't study, and so on.
Now I'm in my fourth semester, my parents decided on buying an apartment near a bigger train station so that me and 2 other girls could live here. Since it's not yet complete, only I live here, but even though I live near the station, even the university is 30 minutes of transportation away, I do not under any circumstances want to go home. I'm an introvert, to be honest, I don't even have the motivation and energy to go to university sometimes. I do go, and I enjoy it very much, but I feel like I'm a huge failure of a human, can't study, I'm not fun to be with and so on. The exams, the stuff we have to learn and the homeworks are just so much I can barely keep up. Finally I managed to create a fairly good schedule when to do homeworks, relax a bit etc, but all I care about is the university with the homeworks because that's everything I have energy for.
I forget calling my parents, and to be honest, I don't want to talk with them because i feel like if I do, I always get back into the controlled situation. I get nervous, and even with my mother and brother I get very awkward.
To sum it up, I didn't have a normal childhood, always had to take responsibility and my subconscious just wants to live through that phase now. I want to be free, call my relatives when I feel I have enough energy for them and aside from that, just live life. But this "not even having a conversation" situation is why my parents say I'm a brat, unfaithful and so on. Yes, I have been brat like for a long time, that is true.
(Sorry for the long story!!)
Am I The [email protected]?
submitted by TheFallenWater to AITAH [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 12:34 PupBeau How concerning is my dog's bloodwork?

submitted by PupBeau to AskVet [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 12:30 FappidyDat [H] TF2 Keys & PayPal [W] Scary Games to Play in the Dark

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2023.04.01 11:53 Much_Addendum327 i’m fourteen years all and all i’ve ever wanted was to be liked by something or someone

tw - sh/ sa
ever since i was 8 years old i wanted to die so badly, though at the time i was being sexually abused by countless people at the time so i guess that would’ve encouraged that thought but right now i’m trapped, my friends are horrible to me, they hang out people i tell them hurt me like this one guy who groped me on the bus when i was 11 they keep talking to him, and i have no one else to go to when they go up to him at school so i just say i need the bathroom and cry there, also my friend told my crush i liked him even though i told her that if he ever rejected me i would kill myself so i would rather not know his response she did it anyway, lucky he didn’t really give out much of a response and just said something irrelevant and ran away embarrassed but that same friend also humiliated me in front of him in role call saying i called him so big he could fit inside of my little sisters suitcase (the suit case was very wide and was probably 4’11 long) when i never said that, all i said was that my sisters suit case is so big a person could fit in there but she made it seem like i was calling him fat. the person i said i’d kill myself over him not liking me due to him being the only thing i live for she decides to say i called him fat. whenever i try hanging out with someone else other then her she gets mad, saying she feels sad that i don’t hang out with her and saying she feels left out and i’m a people pleaser so it’s really hard to stay away from someone and tell them to go away i just usually do whatever people want me to do it’s not something i can handle, also i’m not even safe when o go home my dad has bipolar and he used to not take his pills so he’d scream at me and my sisters, one time he smashed my older sisters phone and threw metal pipes at her at beated her then threw shit down the stairs breaking the window and one time when i was getting back from primary (elementary) school i saw him grab my dog and throw it outside a open door which the dog got his head stuck on the fence and almost choked to death and other shit he did i can’t remember but he takes his pills now just in terrified of him and my mom used to hit me whenever i did something bad but now she just yells at me, i think she still very badly just wants to hit me again because she said she doenst hit me anymore because it illegal and she really tries her hardly to just yell at me for every small tiny thing i do no matter what she will try to yell and ridicule every small thing i do, i can’t move, think, breathe correctly near her it’s gotten to the point where i get genuine heart dropping fear asoon as i hear foot steps coming forming the stairs , anything im doing i just drop it, quickly clean it all up and run to my room and wait for her to go back upstairs . i can’t even go to my grandma because she’s even worse one time i was at her house and i was extremely sick i couldn’t move or eat properly because of how much it hurts my body and my throat especially it hurt way too much i was crying from trying to eat and my grandma udndt care she just said it was all my fault for ruining the trip( i get holidays when i go to my grandmas house because she actually takes me outside unlike my parents) all my grandma did was give me pain killers and let me sleep for hours in her bed not even awake for probably 20 minutes i just slept for the entire day and entire night . i’m safe no where my most safest place is the library or the toilets at my school because in the library and toilets no one bothers me, looks at me, hit me or screams at me there i can be alone without constant stress but atm that’s the only thing i have and i only have 2 more years of school so it’ll be stripped away from me . i don’t know how to get a job no one will help me with it and i don’t understand it. i’m not covid vaccinated either because my mom thinks i’m not worth it and it’s too expensive. my mom also doenst care for a single problem i have i keep telling her i see shadows of people in the corners of my eye or even afew times someone very clearly just with a weird non human face or they disappear when i blink or turn my head away, she thinks i make it up and doenst care she thinks i do it for attention,i hate myself aswell i think i’m extremely ugly i have so many pimples i just want to rip my face off atp i hate my face i just want to be pretty honestly i jsut want atleast for my crush to like me maybe you know to have just someone to like me but i feel and look too ugly i think . i don’t understand why i can’t have anything i can’t live a day without my friend embarrassing me RIGHT INFRONT OF YHE MAN I WOULD KILL MYSELF OVER I TELL THEM THIS AND THEY JUST DONT FUCKING CAREEE when i told them to stop fucking doing thsi shit and al they did was roll their fucming eyes and give me an annoyed face like what the fuck did i do to deserve this fucking life I JUST WANT TO DIE ALREADY I HATE THIS SHIT WHY CANT I BE FUCKING AHPPY I AHVE YEHDJJHSSVUO
i cry almost every night just thinking of being in a friend group like in year 6 when i had a friend who used to actually care and listen to me. but they never come to school anymore. they can’t handle school and just don’t come anymore.
i have many self harm scars all over my body because of this one time this guy i used to date for in year 6. i got pimples and said he doenst want to date me anymore because i got ugly. i want to die
i will kill myself im sorry if you can’t read some of this im typing this at 8pm while i wait for my mom to go into her car for work so i can go to the kitchen and eat food im happy if anyone even reads the title
i’m so scared of killing my self but death seems to relaxing.. finally getting to sleep without loud noises and alarms i really wish i could die in my sleep so peacefully and not messy but i can’t just do that and i heard overdosing hurts so i don’t know what to do i just want and need to die i have nothing i just want peace
submitted by Much_Addendum327 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 11:46 lilcookiecrisp I keep "last suppering" myself and it's driving me nuts - posting for accountability.

So I've managed to lose around 17lbs since the middle of January. I'd lost as much as 26lbs, but I've been gaining and losing the same 9lbs over the last month or so.
I've been following CICO (calories in, calories out) and managed to nail what I was doing, which lead to consistent and quick results, but I keep backsliding.
I know I need to get back on the horse, but I can't seem to get myself out of an eating cycle I'm in. It's not even a binge eating cycle, as I'm not eating the huge unhealthy amounts that I used to, it's just that I'm not sticking with the CICO or moving my body.
My problem is something I call "last suppering". I make a promise to myself that I'm going to have one last high calorie meal, or day, and then I'll get back on track the next day. Having my own indulgent last supper, if you will. But then I wake up, and my brain wants to do it again, and so I do it every day. I don't want to do it anymore but I can't seem to stop myself, so I'm telling you guys about it for accountability. My trigger seems to be whenever I have money e.g. pay day. While I grew up without ever wanting for food, there was a lot of emotional neglect and trauma, and I also watched Mum battle with her weight and the self-loathing it brought. One of my grandparents was very restrictive with food, and kind of did the same to me, when it became evident that I was going to be a chubby tween/teen unlike my sister who was always slim. As a grown up, I experienced poverty, and I think it's a mix of subconscious worries about scarcety, a lot of negative messages about food and about my body as a kid, and binge eating related to trauma.
Since losing around 17lbs I have experienced some amazing benefits. I can walk more easily and without getting out of breath. I love walking, and since becoming so overweight I'd missed the outdoors. I also found that my clothes all fit better, they were all loose, and I went down a dress size. My tummy wasn't bloated, my face shape came back, and I started to look like me again.
To compound things, I had a hard talk with one of my best friends the other night. We'd been out at an event and had a great night, and I was so happy to have been able to stand and dance for three hours, without feeling tired or uncomfortable. But, because I wasn't able to conceal my eating or weight gain from my friend, they started asking questions about how I was getting on and it all came out. Because I've become ill since getting so big (hypertensive crisis and type 2 diabetes, both now medicated) she's been getting worried about what might happen if I don't keep going with my weight loss journey. She said that if I was happy and flourishing at this weight that she wouldn't have mentioned it, but that she can see that I'm unhappy, I'm ill, and that I don't want to be where I am. I appreciated her honesty as it must have been a tough thing to bring up.
So, where we're at, is that my friend has agreed to bring me on a walk that I've always wanted to do, but which I'm currently not fit enough to do, due to its length and involving three hills. I just need to get to a fitness level where I can handle it. She said she'll support me and cheerlead if I share my successes, and remind me of all the work I've done on the issues that got me to this weight.
I am going to get back on plan tomorrow - a fresh new day - and I'm going to start adding in the other bits that I should be doing e.g. a little walking every day. I need to not get distracted by whatever is going on around me. I've decided on an easy, flat, walk that I can do each day. My eating plan and tracking is easy to jump back into. My bluetooth scales await me.
I promise myself - no more last suppering. It's time to do this.
submitted by lilcookiecrisp to SuperMorbidlyObese [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 11:26 escortTotheAssholes I didn't think he could reach me anymore

Hello all. I rarely ever post here but I need to get this off my chest and I can't even begin to talk about it to anyone I know. I'm very much so ashamed/disappointed that I let him get to me, after all these years, the way he did. And it wasn't even really him saying the things to me.
So I grew up with mom, dad and a brother. My brother was the typical golden child and I was..not. we'll refer to my mother as t father as m and brother as b, because I hate calling them my parents. Anyway, I wouldn't say I had the worst childhood. M and t always doted on b, their athletic, handsome, could do no wrong son and always gave me the shit end of the stick. I will say we wanted for nothing. It always felt kinda like M was making up for his meltdowns and hrs long lectures that included the chest pokes, kicking and hitting things, yelling until his voice cracked and gave out, forehead veins popping, the works.
Ms dad died when I was 15. That's when things really got bad. He no longer had the man he idolized as an outlet to turn to when he felt like exploding. He'd given up on taking wellbutrin which he was taking to quit smoking but it definitely did make a difference. You never knew what would set him off. A stack of papers, a soda can (this would really piss him off and on several occasions my brother and I were forced to drink the soda that had been open/out for days at a time even when it wasn't ours. One time I was forced to drink one that had cigarettes in was traumatizing), t not fucking him. That was one of the worst things too. She had female issues and ended up having a total hysterectomy and no longer wanted sex and it hurt (yes I was informed of this at like 13) so if she didn't give it up he'd explode. Several times he'd lock himself in the garage for hrs not answering anyone and then he'd walk out leaving his Neuse behind as a kinda look at what T almost made me do kinda thing. Then came the silence. It was the best part bc he wouldn't talk to any of us for weeks at a time.
When his dad died and things got way worse, I turned to drugs and alcohol. I'd take anything you'd give me. By 17 I'd tried pills, weed, coke/crack, lsd, shrooms, alcohol, experimental pharmaceuticals, uppers, name it I tried/dabbled in it. I graduated high school addicted to several substances. He didn't care. As long as no one else found out and I stayed away from him, all was good.
I really never knew how much those weekly if not daily meltdowns really affected me until I started dating and anytime my late husband would so much as raise his voice, I'd shut down or start bawling. M Apologized exactly one time saying "I could've done better by you two" when he was drunk. Ofc I told him he was a great dad and he came back with "I gave yall anything you wanted and made sure you got to travel and never wanted for anything." That's true. We did travel. I have loads of memories of hus meltdowns in a ton of US cities and Canada! Anything he ever gave us would be held over our heads, including but definitely not limited to my education.
He's the kind of person to tell an awful story with a smile on his face and pride in his heart. "Yea when ETTA was 15 she kept talking back to her mom and I told her once and she did it again and I snatched her ass up and beat her ass real good. Ain't that right ETTA?" Sure is. But why are you telling my inlaws this at my rehearsal dinner? "B thought he could do whatever he wanted cause dads stupid isn't he? Until I caught up with his ass. I beat his ass so good the board snapped in two, didn't I B?" Also true but why say it at a dinner table full of Bs friends, gf and gfs family? I swear he'd say the shit with the biggest smile like it was a point of pride to treat another human like that.
For a while after I moved out, finished college and had my babies, all I wanted was to make him proud. Getting my RN didn't do it bc I wanted to enjoy my babies first few years and be a stay at home mom. My husband worked and kept us afloat so that's what I did. Then my husband got unjustly fired and started collecting unemployment. All I ever heard from M is how my husband needed to get to work and anything is better than unemployment, he's lazy, he's worthless. And I just wanted M to be happy so that carried over to my marriage and i pressed the issue so my husband got a job. That paid minimum wage. Because something is better than nothing. Except now we were struggling because we were getting less than half of what he was making on unemployment.
Then he threatened to sue me for the college he paid for. In reality he paid for less than half and the state paid for the rest bc I was a single mom in a high demand field..but let him tell it and he paid every last dime. And if I didn't get my lazy ass to work, he was gonna make sure he got every last dime back. So I went to work.
My husband and I both worked 2nds. I would get the kids up in the morning, get them fed and dressed and drop them at m and ts house because they wanted me to work so they offered to babysit. That didn't last long before I was hearing "I raised my kids. These kids need a mom not someone that's always working and has no time to be a mother to them. You get them up and fed and then theyre here all day this isnt working." By this time I was making way more than my husband and minimum wage wasn't gonna cover anything more than child care so my husband stayed home so my kids would have a parent at home.
At first I just really wanted to impress m. I worked 7 days a week, 8-16hr shifts varying. Now he was disappointed I didn't have any time for my kids and my husband was lazy and good for nothing. He just never stopped. Then his mom died. That hit me hard. Although I had quit doing all but weed when I got pregnant, I started dabbling in pills and alcohol when my grandma passed. She was the most kind amazing gentle woman.
Pills turned into more pills which turned into heroin and later fentanyl. I became a sex worker to support my habit and kids because it was too hard for either my husband or I to maintain a job when we'd be sick halfway through a shift. I ended up meeting this guy that beat the shit out of me and then decided that he was gonna tell any and everyone I was an addict. Honestly, it was the best thing that could've happened for my kids, eventually. They had necessities but we were homeless and living in motels at one point and they were old enough to know something wasn't right. When they were taken I had got us into a 3 bedroom house. They had their pets back, their own rooms, tablets and tvs and toys and our cabinets were always full. I was doing better for them but I was still deep in addiction.
When CPS came and asked about support systems I told them I didn't have family. I couldn't see how deeply i was affected by him then but (don't take this as me passing the buck, I picked up drugs on my own accord, he didnt force me but it was a coping mechanism I'd learned because of him) I knew I didn't want to subject my kids to his meltdowns and psychotic behavior. So my kids ended up going with their paternal family. Until their uncle decided he needed a break and called my brother who called my parents.
It really surprised me that B called them. He hadn't talked to them in years bc T had snapped when his mother in law tried to help her with a dinner and M had snapped on B and that was the final straw for B. I feel like it's important to mention that after a couple years struggling with alcohol B got his shit together. He now owns his own very nice home, married with 2 beautiful children that M and T have never even met.
So my kids went to live with M and T. It was horrible. I'm not going to put my kids business out there but I have recordings she sent to me after he pushed her so far mentally she had to be hospitalized. In one recording he's yelling that all my youngest does is eat (her weight is okay now but she had struggled with body issues thinking she was fat early on and he knew that) and that my oldest wasn't sick she was sick in the head. That they ruined his life. I have several recordings of him yelling that he's going to send them to foster care, which he weaponized frequently. My oldest rebelled and everything just spiraled. Luckily my distant cousins took her in a year ago. With proper Healthcare, diagnosies, medication and a calm understanding environment, she's done a complete 180. Just recently M and T decided to send my youngest to be with her sister thank God.
I haven't got my shit together. I'll be the first to admit I am fucked up. I chose my path and I know how people look at drug addicts like they're scum of the earth. I've done my best to affect those I love as little as possible. My children have hurt the most and I'll never forgive myself for what they've gone through as a result of my actions. My husband died in 2021 so its just me now. The whole reason I started prostitution is so I wouldn't have to be a scumbag and have other support my habit.
When they first got word of me being homeless they stored my things for me. In my things were my husband's tools and at the time he needed them to start working along side a handyman. I had called M and said I need to go to the house and get my tools can you tell me the code to the garage? He said no, you can wait 5 mo until we're home. I couldn't wait, the job wouldn't wait and it was before I started hooking. So my husband and I went to their house, popped the lock on the garage door, took our bag of tools and left. That is the only thing I did in addiction that has directly affected them. I didn't touch any of his shit despite there being thousands of dollars of tools and toys in the garage. I just needed the tools and I took t hem. Did I go about it wrong...yea I did. But did I steal from them? No.
Today I was talking to my daughter and she said when she first got to their place she asked to spend the day with me (visits had been 2hrs a week for months prior to them getting my kids and the judge made m and t tell him they would keep them up. They immediately cut visits completely out). She said they told her things like "how could she do this to us?" That I was horrible and I stole their crossbow (he gave it to me after a dog mauled my cat incase the dog returned and never asked for it back) and that he wishes he could've skipped having kids and went straight to having grandkids. That he wished he never had me or B.
How could I do this to them? That's the most narcissistic thing I've ever heard. Like everything in life revolves around him and is directed at him. And he wishes I was never born? I have to admit that's why I'm here. After 6 years NC, mourning the loss of my doormat mother, accepting that I don't have family, I read that and it broke me all over again. I cried. And then I cried because I let him get to me.
Ik this is long. TLDR my sperm donor asked how I could do this to him in regards to my addiction that hasn't ever affected him aside from him voluntarily taking in and traumatizing my kids before sending them to another state to live with family. He said he wished I was never born and I feel like I'm 15 again, choking down cigarette butt pepsi with a fat finger thumping and bruising my chest.
I don't want him to have this power. It's got me thinking about turning up at his house and blowing my brains all over his porch with a little note taped to my shirt, "your wish is my command"
Sorry for the wall of texts. I'm sure I won't get many if any replies but writing this out has been somewhat cathartic.
submitted by escortTotheAssholes to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 11:24 Noname___0 Can my new puppy and in laws old cranky dog coexist in the same house?

It’s a bit of a confusing situation to explain, but my husband and I live in the basement of his parents house. They own a 13 year old cattle dog who is mostly an outside dog and our part of the house connects to her yard. We decided to get a puppy after talking it through for a bit, thinking that we’d be able to work around this. (I should have been smarter.) We have introduced them in a neutral place and it has gone better with her than we thought, because she has been very interested in the new puppy and very gracious with her space. As far as we can tell they get along, but they do not rest around each other at all. We let them run around together a couple times a day to try to get them used to one another and let the novelty wear off, but it has been nearly a week and they still do not settle when together.
Now we have to try to figure out how to live in this basement with a puppy without setting off the older dog (who can see us in the house through the sliding doors), as well as deal with all the adjustments of having a new puppy and little sleep. It has been very mentally draining even despite the dogs not hating each other.
We have talked about giving the puppy to my husbands cousin, or another family, but I feel so responsible for this puppy and don’t think it deserves to be tossed around. I want the very best for him and would love to keep him, but the puppy blues and complicated housing situation are making me question whether we should have him. I feel horrible that I didn’t trust my gut and now have put all of us in this situation.
submitted by Noname___0 to puppy101 [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 11:23 lousy_writer Galactic Season 3: A Guide: Doing Seasons on all servers

DISCLAIMER: This is an updated version of an older post of mine that dealt with grinding 100 Galactic Season levels on multiple servers.
The Galactic Season has one particular perk some people might not be aware of (I certainly wasn't until I read about it in this very sub towards the end of season 1; unfortunately it was pretty much over by then): You have one reward track per legacy, and not just for your entire account: Which means that you can get 10,000 CC overall and 25 random crates on top of all that other stuff if you soldier through the track, because you'll get the CC-rewards mostly towards the end.
(This is a departure from how it has been in seasons 1 and 2, where you got 4,000 CC on each legacy evenly distributed over twenty 200 CC-chunks which you got every 5 levels - which means that it also paid off to do or even buy just a few GS-leves: doing, say, 30 levels on every server was a perfectly viable approach during that tie because you still managed to get 6000 CC out of it back then; an approach that isn't feasible anymore.)
So, where to start:
1) To subscribe or not to subscribe
  • The bad news first: Since I am operating under the assumption that you have literally nothing on most or all other servers, subscribing for an initial month is highly advisable - simply because you need to be able to hold more than 1,000,000 credits in your hands. (If you already did this, ignore this part.)
  • the rewards on the subscriber track are what you want: all of those sweet 2000 CC are there, and most of the season tokens. This means that even if you don't start as a subscriber, you certainly have to finish the season as one (the good news is that subscribing retroactively unlocks all rewards on the subscription tracks, including those you earned while you were not subscribed). If you don't want to fork over the subscription fee at all, you might just as well stop reading here.
2) Creating characters and starting the game
  • Generally, this guide assumes that RP or playing through the story is no priority of yours; and neither is an optimized legacy (my guide for that is here ) - this is just about getting through the Galactic Season with as many legacies as possible in relatively little playtime.
  • Unsurprisingly, stealth classes are most convenient for this endeavor - whether you are doing FPs, do the usual 8 quests/100 mobs-thing or whatever else that isn't a space or GSF mission, you're best off with a stealther - ideally a Shadow/Assassin (since they get crowd control a lot sooner than the tech stealthers), but a Scoundrel/Operative will do as well.
  • create one character per faction - as a rule, you don't need more than these two (and in fact you should concentrate your efforts on these two because anything else tends to be a waste of time). Occasionally you will have to create new alts if a weekly objective asks for it, but these are little more than deco for your legacy otherwise.
  • In addition to this: If you are one of those people (like me) who never bothered to blow their character boosts, now is their time to shine: A legacy that consists exclusively of fresh characters is somewhat limited in its options and might have to resort to skipping weekly objectives because the respective planets or FPs are out of reach; a level 70 character however can do pretty much everything as long as it isn't faction-exclusive (also, they get a heap of conquest points simply for reputation increases, which is the easiest way to get the daily 25k). I would strongly suggest to prioritize Leviathan and (if you have a second boost left) Tulak Hord for these - not just because of the language barrier, but also because these two servers are less populated than the English-speaking realms. It's particularly jarring on Leviathan where even during peak time you might have a hard time finding a group for world bosses or FPs, so having a high level character here is immensely helpful.
3) Getting started, getting to level 10, finishing the first two planets
  • as soon as you enter the game, activate "exploration missions" on your map interface.
  • get a companion from your collection (more on that under #6). At the very least you should have universal access to Amity, since you only need GS level 1 on your main legacy and unlock that compantion for your entire account. (unlocking Amity costs 60 CC).
  • as soon as you get your first +25% XP boost, activate it.
  • once you're level 8, get to the fleet:
  • there you learn a few gathering skills (preferably bioanalysis and scavenging among them since you're most likely to use these)
  • then you buy a speeder (this part is most important)
  • and you may buy your faction's capital stronghold.
  • return to your starter planet and do all the quests there (they're generally quick and easy), without any double XP event currently active, you should be around level 17 before you move on to your faction's capital world.
  • once you finished the starter planet, pick up the stronghold quest from the hologram; if you haven't bought a stronghold yet, do it now. In this stronghold, you place a legacy cargo hold (reward from the hologram quest mentioned above), Felusia Stato (same), a mail box (same), and finally a personal cargo hold (available for 15k at the security key vendor). If you can't afford this right now, definitely do it ASAP.
  • This should have taken a bit more than an hour or so. Rinse repeat for the other faction's character.
  • Depending on this week's objective, you might want to complete the class story on the capital with at least one character: if, say, space missions are needed, you need to get your ship first.
4) What about guilds?
  • One of the things you should definitely do soon is finding a guild - if only for the XP bonus and the weekly conquest yield. Bigger guilds are of course better (maxed out XP bonuses, Flagship perks and large yield invasions are quite helpful), but small ones will do as well as long as they're invading something. This also means: if you get ninjainvited by a huge guild on a starter planet - even if you otherwise hate that, now is not the time to be picky.
  • with "soon" I mean before your first weekly reset: you only start collecting conquest points on behalf of your guild after the reset, and you'll get your first conquest yield the week after that. I.e. only in week 3 you will start to capitalize financially. All the more reason to not drag that out.
5) What about legacies?
  • I wrote extensively about optimizing your legacy in my guide for fresh legacies, but this doesn't apply here: With only two active characters which you won't level more than necessary, you can also forget about leveling your legacy - i.e. no perks, no heroic moments, no bonuses. After getting to level GS level 100, most of my legacies were around level 7 at the end of season 2 and around level 12 at the end of season 3. Go figure.
  • This also means that the only useful thing you can buy is the rocket boost, on a 2 minute timer (yayyy...) - if you have enough money (unlikely, at least in the beginning). Once you hit legacy level 2, you can buy Fast Travel I (minus 2 minutes on your fast travel CD), which is actually worth the 100k.
6) What about companions?
  • apart from their usual role (supporting you), a very crucial element of companions is that they're a source of conquest points via the daily "Influencer"- and "Benefactor"-objectives, which you'll need unless you have a character over level 50 (for the Reputation-objective). While it's easy to do in the beginning, the higher your companion gets the more gifts you need to push him further. For that reason you might want a wider selection of companions.
  • apart from Amity, you have your first companion plus your ship droid, and if you don't level your character's class story, that's pretty much it for you unless you have a bunch of companions in your collection. If you don't, one way of collecting those is buying them at the Galactic Season vendor - they change on a weekly basis and cost 5 (or was it 6?) tokens, and unlocking them for your entire account is pretty cheap. Which means that while you may not be able to afford them in the beginning, once the season has progressed far enough that you have 6/15 tokens on every server, you can basically buy half of them in one swoop, and can still save tokens on your main server for stuff like the penthouses.
7) Leveling
  • since currently there's no dual XP event, leveling is relatively tedious, even with aforementioned 25% XP token and the 15% guild bonus (and since you have neither the legacy level nor - at least in the beginning - the money for the legacy perk "class mission experience V", this isn't really an option either).
  • I suggest to level as far as you need for the easily available objectives. For example, for the "Terrors of Taris"-objective I had to bring the imperial character on every server to the mid 30s. Other than that, I would leave them where they are unless you have some spare time.
8) Finances
  • For bullet point #9 (strongholds), you need loads of cash - not very much for a seasoned player with a lot of charcters, but a lot for a legacy that's essentially virginal - getting enough money without a sponsor and exclusively by yourself is out of question, especially after the cuts for weekly conquest.
  • I suggest to sell your encryptions, legendary embers and whatever else you can turn into credits as soon as possible. In my experience and right now (April 2023) encryptions sell for between 10,000,000 and 12,000,000 - depending on the servers of course. If you manage to sell those for a decent price, you should have enough cash to afford your 150% stronghold bonus after a few weeks.
  • if you did enough GSF weeklies (and therefore collected a bunch of fleet commendations) you might also buy epic equipment for space missions relatively early on. Those are so expensive on most servers that even if you manage to sell one piece faaaaar below the averge price, you end up wealthy enough to afford six fully expanded strongholds (and since there isn't really anything you can do with anything you acquire on those other servers, that loss in cash doesn't really hurt you).
  • another option would be a "galactic season pact", if you manage to find trustworthy people: you trade around 50 million credits with someone from another server (which is very little if you have an established account in today's economy), then both of you can buy six fully expanded strongholds right off the bat. If you can repeat this on all other servers, this would be 200 million - for multibillionaires not that big of a deal; but one that saves you a lot of conquest grinding time down the road.
  • For more on finances during Galactic Season check this post.
9) Strongholds
  • if anything, getting your 150% stronghold bonus is even more important than usual: depending on how you do it, up to ~50% of your 800 GS points may come from the daily quest (25k conquest, always available) or the occasional "Marching Through the Galaxy"-weekly (200k conquest, pops up occasionally). So you want to get these 150% as soon as possible.
  • You get up to 25% for one fully expanded stronghold, so in order to get there, you need at least six strongholds (but more likely seven, since partially expanded strongholds might do the trick as well). Here is a table for the least expensive combinations.
  • unlike all the others, the Umbara stronghold is only available on Odessen. If you know how to get there with a low level character, let me know.
  • the strongholds are the reason why being subscribed is advisable: Without a subscription, you're capped at 65% since you can't spend more than 1 million credit at once (which limits you to 9/9 Coruscant, 9/9 Dromund Kaas and 5/9 Nar Shaddaa).
10a) Getting to season level 100
  • a Galactic Season lasts 20 weeks- this means that you have to gain at least 40 points per week on average if you want to complete the reward track (800 points) just in time, more if you start later.
  • as a subscriber, you gain: 8 points per smaller objective, 12 points per larger objective, 8 points as a 4 day-login bonus, and 2 points for the daily objective. So, if you do at least 2-3 small goals per week, and regularly log in for the "influencing the galaxy"-objective, you get between 38 and 46 points per week.
  • as a non-subscriber, you gain: 6 points per smaller objective, 10 points per larger objective, 4 points as a 4 day-login bonus, and 2 points for the daily objective. So, if you do 3-4 small objectives per week, and regularly log in for the "influencing the galaxy"-objective, you get between 36 and 42 points per week - and between 46 and 54 points per week as soon as you resubscribe for the last month. Because even if you are trying to minimize your subscription fees and only subscribe for cashing out on a completed reward track, you still don't want to wait until you have hit level 100 with every legacy, but subscribe quite a few weeks before that (around the 600 points-mark, depending on how many GS points you can reliably make within 4 weeks and 2 days as a subscriber) and finish while you are still subscribed.
  • since every week has 10 possible goals, you don't have to do the bare minimum - I would always try to do as many as you can comfortably do (well, up to 7 objectives, that is): it enables you to take a break, do fewer objectives than required, or finish earlier. Personally I pick those that take the least amount of time, but if you like specific mission times better even with fresh characters, you might also do those.
10b) Time spent on objectives
Fortunately, it seems that the objective structure is for the most part the same as it was during GS 2 and 3 (I am working under the assumption that most of the objectives that haven't popped up yet will appear in the future, so I am sticking to my GS 2-guide here). I will update this part of the post if necessary, depending on how many new objectives appear, or how many old ones have been shelved.
  • "Influencing the Galaxy" is the daily objective that is always available; and it requires you to get 25k conquest points - and it's also the main reason why you want that 150% stronghold bonus. Because with that bonus, all you need is "Influencer" (just level a random companion with cheap level 1 gifts; buy a bunch of those in advance at the fleet), "Crew skill up" (just send a companion to do a yellow quest) and "Decorator" (just move one piece of furniture around 5 times); if you have less than 150%, you may want to do a few more objectives ("Benefactor", 5 crew skill missions and using a taxi are the best suited). But if you have a character of level 50 or higher, you can do the daily simply by raising your reputation with any faction. This quest yields around 18k-19k conquest points even without a stronghold, over 25k once you have around 45% stronghold bonus, and almost 44k if you have the 150%.
  • "March across the Galaxy" only requires you to regularly do "Influencing the Galaxy" (which yields at least 175k per week) and get a few extra conquest points on top of that. Time invested: practically 0.
  • the collecting 40 notes-objective can be achieved as a side effect of just doing your thing. Time invested: practically 0.
  • the 1000 reputation with Amity-objective can be achieved by just trading in enough notes with her. Time invested: practically 0.
  • "Ace of the Armada" just needs you to do the very first escort mission four times, and since that only takes 3.5 minutes, you can do that quest in around 15 minutes. More importantly, as long as your starship doesn't get shot down (and with some cheap ship armor and shields this is basically impossible), you can AFK this mission because all you need is survive - you don't even have to protect the ship you're supposed to escort. Read something or watch youtube or whatever and only get back to the game every 4 minutes until you're done with that objective. Downside: only available for characters with a starship (i.e. those that have finished the capital world class story).
  • doing 15 quests as a specific class is fairly simple: just create a new toon and do every quest you find with them. Takes around 30 minutes. (Unless of course it's a class you already have.)
  • simple tasks like "kill 25 mobs without a companion", "affect 15 mobs with usables" etc. are super easy, barely an inconvenience. Do them. (Bonus tipp: "This will do nicely" can be done in 1 minute by doing the Coruscant H2 "The Republic's Most Wanted": just enter the phase, get to the room on the left, trigger the usable, get out and reset the phase. After the third explosion, you have done it.)
And then there are those objectives that are judgment calls or may be out of reach for your characters:
  • those grindy regional objectives (doing 8 quests/100 enemies on a planet) are fairly straightforward; especially with stealthers. Shouldn't take much longer than half an hour, possibly even less. Downside: You need a sufficiently leveled character for this - but since you get a selection of planets, this shouldn't be that much of a problem.
  • world bosses are generally easily done for the points they give (the exceptions are Ossus and Voss), but finding a group might be a bit tedious. The bigger problem however is that you may not have a character that is high enough, which means that you either have to skip that objective or level your respective toon.
  • "Legacies of..."-objectives require you to run instances - either once with bonus bosses, or twice without (since unlocking the bonus boss - if available - can be extremely tedious, I personally stick to doing them twice). By the way, if an FP has a storymode available, it counts as well; and these can be super quick if done with a stealther - "Boarding Party" or "Assault on Korriban" for example take around 10-15 minutes. Ultimatelly, I actually ended up doing all FP objectives since those were pretty convenient and easily done - there's always at least one FP that doesn't take too long or can even be solo'd.
  • Daily Sweep quests depend on which area you're sweeping. Doing 2/2 CZ-198 dailies was pretty chill (even though I had to do it on two separate days, which I usually am not too fond of), but I skipped everything else.
  • 6/6 starfighter matches may take around 1 hour - assuming you win as much as you lose, it takes 4 games to meet the goal; and if each game takes a bit longer than 10 minutes on average, that's where you end up. Even though I like GSF, after my experiences during GS 2 I ultimately came to the conclusion that the juice isn't really worth the squeeze here - 20 GSF matches on five servers (assuming that you win as much as you lose) in a week are simply too exhausting if you ask me. However, if you still want to do it - don't forget to do "Introduction to Starfighter" and then regularly the daily/weekly for upgrading your starfighters! (Also for Fleet Commendations.)
  • something similar can be said for the 8/8 PvP matches.
  • medal collecting-objectives (both for PvP and for GSF) aren't something I would recommend unless you are really good at it.
My personal experiences:
  • Season 2: It took quite some time in the beginning, because a lot of objectives were effectively behind level restrictions (which means that I had to level my characters every once in a while), and I had to get enough money to get the 150% conquest bonus - but once I had gotten there, it was pretty easy and most obejctivess little more than a formality; and it became a breeze once I had one character over level 50 (i.e. was able to do the "Influence the Galaxy" with a single click as long as I had rep tokens).
  • Season 3/4: This one was a bit easier since I already had at least on level 50 character on every legacy, but the objectives were harsher: While GS 2 had a pretty forgiving start with plenty of low level objectives, GS 3 required you to have characters in their 30s or 40s pretty on. Same goes for the beginning of GS 4: My legacies are pretty solid by now, but the first week already starting with objectives that include killing the Voss WB is pretty harsh.
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2023.04.01 11:12 Dryadversity Thoughts on the ecosystem of Caelid (and Mohgwyn), and the significance of Radahn "howling at the sky"

Thoughts on the ecosystem of Caelid (and Mohgwyn), and the significance of Radahn
Blood and flame
The first thing I'd like to discuss is the relationship between Caelid and Mohgwyn, which is beneath its eastern side. The theorist Quelaag posited that the blood in Mohgwyn might be the result of the blood from the conflicts and wars fought in Caelid seeping into the soil and into the underworld. My first thought was that the red in Caelid in scarlet rot, not blood; but I still think she could be right.
This gave me some ideas on what the burning stone structures found in Caelid are, and what their purpose is. Throughout the region is something called the "Smoldering Wall", which just looks like burning rocks—kind of like charcoal. There's also the Smoldering Church found at the border of Caelid and Limgrave, which has the same fiery and stony constitution.
the Smoldering Wall
The theory I had went like this: Scarlet rot drives people to madness (e.g. Radahn), provoking them to shed blood and slaughter each other. In alignment with Quelaag's theory, this blood seeps into the soil and drips into the underground, filling Mohgwyn with blood. This blood is then lit aflame with the power of the Formless Mother—which can be seen in Mohgwyn, as the same fire architecture is present here. The fire burns and rises back toward the surface, inciting more conflict and inspiring more bloodshed, thus creating a blood-cycle analogous to the water cycle. In this framework, liquid water is gas, and gaseous water is both a) boiling blood and b) fire.
My take is that the boiling blood is just blood just hasn't been heated enough to become bloodflame. You might notice that the Sanguine nobles' blood emits steam; since they are lesser officials in the dynasty's hierarchy, it would make sense that their blood would not be as powerful, or hot enough to ignite.
Picture by LittleChurchLore; you can see the heated, steaming blood of the Sanguine Noble.
The Formless Mother and god of rot
I think this blood cycle could be more evidence for the view that the Formless Mother and god of rot are the same entity, or closely related. In a recent post, I talked about how the purple and green amorphous patterns visible in the Lake of Rot's map depiction support the theory that the Lake of Blood is analogous to cursed or rotted blood, and is being stabbed with the Ainsel River like the unalloyed gold needle. This is because the same purple and green coloring is found on Morgott's cursed sword, which we know contains the cursed blood of the Omen. So rot is compared to cursed blood, which I think can be brought back to the idea of rotted blood.
In the comments of that post, user ElA1to suggested this design on the Lake of Rot could also be representing the blood of the Formless Mother. I wasn't immediately convinced, because I didn't recall any mention of the Formless Mother's blood being cursed; plus, if the Formless Mother seeks out cursed blood as the game says, this might suggest her own blood doesn't have this quality. Why would she seek it if she already has it? Does she just want more? However, ElA1to's comment gave me the idea that the blood of the Formless Mother might be equivalent to the blood of the Omen, as a result of their symbiotic relationship. I think the Omens' and Formless Mother's blood might go through a blood cycle of its own: one in which the Omen sacrifice blood to her by wounding themselves, and in exchange, receive some of it back as powerups by wounding her in battle; the blood of the Formless Mother is actually their own blood returned to them.
So, there is quite a bit of information linking the Formless Mother to the rot god. As ElA1to mentioned, the Lake of Rot might be the blood of the Formless Mother, or analogous to it. Both rotted blood and cursed blood are something that is often suppressed by the afflicted, i.e. in the second phases of Malenia's and Morgott's fights. Fire architecture, which I think is interspersed with bloodflame, is found in both Mohgwyn (Formless Mother) and Caelid (rot). There are red geysers in both Mohgwyn, and in the Swamp of Aeonia. As Gideon the Half-Knowing noticed, there are only two "exultation" talismans in the game: the Kindred of Rot's exultation, and Lord of Blood's exultation. And finally, as I just discovered, the Mohgwyn swamp even contains scarlet rot.
I haven't been able to find scarlet rot anywhere else in Mohgwyn; it might just be this one spot.
All that being said, there's good reason to object to this theory of the two gods being the same. I'm sure there are multiple valid counterarguments, but the one I'd like to bring to attention is the antagonistic relationship between fire and rot. The description for Radahn's great rune reads: "The Great Rune burns, to resist the encroachment of the scarlet rot." Some have claimed we can see Radahn using this rune in the trailer (since he's on fire), and I think this is probably correct. Nonetheless, Elden Ring is a game with a lot to say about combining things that contradict each other. Even if the Formless Mother and god of rot are not the same, it does seem they share a particularly close relationship. Maybe, if bloodflame burns rot, this is another example of a war between gods, and parallels the conflict between Melina/The Greater Will and the Frenzied Flame?
Here's an additional angle, while we're on the topic: If rot is indeed the blood of the Formless Mother, then maybe this is why she seeks Omen blood—because Omen blood burns, and can resist scarlet rot. This would potentially make Malenia a mirror to the Formless Mother, and Miquella a mirror to the Omen.
More on the smoldering architecture, and its significance
Another idea I had on the fire architecture is that it represents ambition. As mentioned, the wall and church are both described with the word 'smoldering'. Morgott tells us:
"I see thee, little Tarnished. Smoldering with that wretched flame of ambition."
So the flame of ambition smolders. This actually appears to relate to the cut content of the Smoldering Church, in which Bernahl's maiden could be found. In the restored content, she is seen covered in bandages, likely because she burned herself at the forge, or because she was preparing for it with lesser burns. Since becoming Elden Lord requires burning the Erdtree at the forge, there is a clear relation between the ambition of ascending to the Elden Throne, and fire. That appears to be the idea this church once, or still represents.
picture by Laurelinarean
There is a second hint in this line of Morgott's: the word 'wretched'. This word is used to describe the swamp in Mohgwyn. The last part of the description for Mohg's great rune reads:
"Mohg and Morgott are twin brothers, and their Great Runes are naturally similar. But Mohg's rune is soaked in accursed blood, from his devout love for the wretched mire that he was born into far below the earth."
I believe that when Morgott calls the flame "wretched", he is referring to the bloodflame rising from Mohgwyn. I also believe he is expressing his loathsome feelings for his brother, as well as himself, since like Mohg, he also possesses the flammable blood of the Omen. Still, I do think the wretched flame Morgott speaks of could also be the giant's flame, and the fire of the Crucible. I don't think there is necessarily a contradiction between these interpretations; Morgott seems to view all fire as bad.
The latter two interpretations, i.e. of the giant's flame and Crucible, actually have some evidence of their own, in the fire architecture I've been describing. I forget who it was (I'd cite them if I did), but someone noticed that the Mohgwyn mausoleum actually appears to be sitting atop, and embedded in, a petrified tree.
from the website Attack of the Fanboy
I'm not sure if they mentioned this part, but you can only see the fire on this petrified texture; the regular rock walls do not contain flames. If the theory is true, which I believe it is, then it's the fourth example so far of a region in the game being placed on or identical to a petrified tree. The other two are the Mountaintops of the Giants (credit to Eredin), Raya Lucaria, and Mt. Gelmir.
It's not hard to apply this new information on burning, petrified trees to Caelid. The smoldering wall and smoldering church might not be stone at all. Instead, I think it's more likely they are burning, petrified wood—once again, relating to Morgott's fear that the Tarnished will burn the Erdtree. This in turn could imply that all of common churches in the Lands Between are made of petrified wood.
Giants, scavenging, and dragonrot
It's been observed that the giant dogs in Caelid have some similarities with the crows. They kind of walk like birds, and have been compared to T-Rexes, which were likely ancestors to birds. And so, I find it interesting that Gurranq, who is found in the region of Caelid called Dragonbarrow, is sort of like a combination of a dog and crow. Gurranq is a wolf, but the armor he wears, particularly his headpiece, resembles the body of a crow. Furthermore, Gurranq is a giant wolf, and giants are also found in Caelid. So I think you could argue that he's like a synthesis of various creatures found in this region.
Something interesting about the larger animals in Caelid is that they are known for being scavengers. Crows are scavengers, as are some dogs. The theme of scavenging ties into Caelid because the whole area is rotted; and rot arises from corpses, which actually makes Caelid something like the ideal habitat for these creatures. Radahn is also depicted as a scavenger, since he is explicitly said by Jerren to gorge on corpses.
A similar argument could be made for Gurranq. This is because Destined Death, which Melina calls "death indiscriminate" is able to consume (because it's fire) soulless bodies and spirits alike. (This is based on the idea that Destined Death can kill both body and soul, and is in this sense indiscriminate). To destroy whatever is left of the self (body or soul) is arguably similar to scavenging, since scavenging involves taking what's left of an organism, the body, and consuming/destroying it. So Gurranq, as well, is a kind of scavenger. Even more evidence for this is his appetite for Deathroot; if you eat something that is dead, that makes you a scavenger.
Gurranq: a combination of giant dogs (scavengers) and giant ravens (scavengers), who has the power to dispose of the remains of living (or half-living) things, and eats death
As the last part of this section, I wanted to share a thought I had on the dragons, and why Caelid (more specifically Dragonbarrow) contains so many of them. I believe it has to do with the poison-resistant attributes of great dragonflies, and that the regular dragons actually have some poison-resistant qualities as well. The great dragonfly head item description reads: "Head of a large dragonfly. Material used for crafting items. Long believed to have the ability to neutralize poisons." This neutralizing power is proven through the neutralizing boluses and immunizing cured meat, both of which require great dragonfly heads as ingredients.
Howling at the sky
Radahn imitates Godfrey, who is associated with lions. Radahn even identifies as Godfrey's lion, which might be an expression of admiration, or a more specific reference to Serosh. Yet, lions do not howl; they roar. What animal does howl? A wolf. This is likely why Jerren, earlier in the cutscene, likens Radahn to a dog:
"Now he gathers the corpses of former friends and foes alike, gorging on them, like a dog."
More evidence that that links Radahn's howling to wolves includes similar behavior from Gurranq and Blaidd. Depending on the conditions, Gurranq can be found outside the Bestial Sanctum, howling at the sky. It may not be a coincidence that this location is right next to the Wailing Dunes. Blaidd also howls at the night sky, on top of Mistwood ruins. So "howling at the sky" is a pattern that establishes Radahn as a character with lupine qualities.
Why is this important? Recall this text from Radahn's armor, which is unique to his helm:
"Helm of the golden lion, with flowing red hair. Worn by General Radahn.
Radahn inherited the furious, flaming red hair of his father Radagon, and is fond of its heroic implications.'I was born a champion's cub. Now I am the Lord of the Battlefield's lion.'"
Radahn used to be Radagon's "cub", since a) he is his child, and b) Radagon is associated with wolves, e.g. in Marika's description of him as a "leal hound", and in Radagon's red wolves.
So Radahn used to be Radagon's cub, and in adulthood, he imitated the Elden Lord he admired most: Godfrey. However, "now", after losing his mind to Malenia's scarlet rot, he is left wandering, scavenging, and howling like the dogs in Caelid. He's been reduced to a contradiction; someone who still wears armor emblazoned with lions, but who no longer has the strength to properly identify with one. To put it one way, he has regressed.
Fire is arguably Radahn's primary visual motif. As the aforementioned description states, Radahn inherited Radagon's "flaming" red hair. You may recall that fire is depicted as a regressive force, e.g. through the Frenzied Flame, and in Radagon himself, who tried to undo the shattering of the Elden Ring through smithing—another process that involves fire. In line with this idea of regression, I believe Radahn not only regressed from lion to wolf, he also regressed to a wolf cub; a child.
Radahn howls at the sky because he has regressed to a childlike state. I don't think this is meant to represent immaturity, exactly, just the often-pitiable emotional states children experience, and their dependence on adults; I also think it's meant to reference the tendency for infants to cry. I believe Radahn is crying out in pain, for someone to kill him, and for his father, Radagon. I think he's expressing these cries through howls—as this is the language that another wolf would surely understand.
Finally, I'd like to mention a parallel that the conflict between Radahn and Malenia, and the former's regression to a cub, has with Sekiro. In Sekiro, when you die to Lady Butterfly, she says: "You were still just a puppy." Of course, Lady Butterfly is similar to Malenia, because Malenia is also a butterfly, and is associated with them. So in both games, you have butterfly women attacking characters associated with wolves, and reducing them to cubs. Also, the fight takes place in a burning room with flaming columns, which kind of resemble the fire architecture seen in Caelid.
The Red Lion
From what I've found, in alchemy, the red lion represents the maturing of the green lion after it's swallowed the sun, and corresponds with the tempering of primal instincts. This didn't sound like it matched Radahn at first... but the part about the red lion being "matured" does remind me of the wolf-to-lion evolution described earlier. Another factor is that if Radahn is taking after Godfrey, he might have admired his restraint just as much as his strength. Again, he seems to have compared himself to Serosh, who inhibits Godfrey's bloodlust.
It's worth noting that the green lion symbol in alchemy is sometimes depicted as having seven red stars along its side, which may connect to Radahn's role as the starscourge. Furthermore, the green lion is depicted eating the sun, which is a star. If the green lion eats stars, could the other stars along its body represent other stars that it's consumed? Maybe this is in fact what turned the green lion red—the consumption of red stars. (Or maybe this was just the interpretation FromSoft went with.) It could also tie into Rykard's goal of devouring the gods, since he is Rykard's brother, and the sun and stars were frequently identified as deities in ancient times.
the Green Lion with red stars, devouring the sun
It might be important that the final color of the lion, if the alchemical process continues successfully, is gold. Godfrey has a stronger association with the color gold than red, and Radahn may have been trying to reach this final state of development, only to regress back to a red wolf cub. Alternatively, it's possible the red lion imagery was intentional, and that Radahn was trying to fuse Godfrey's iconography with that of his own lineage and father.
A final thought on Radahn and regression
Bosses in FromSoft's games have a tendency to unleash whatever powers they were previously suppressing, as part of their second phase. I believe this became a trend after Bloodborne's The Old Hunters DLC, which features Lady Maria as one of its bosses. The fight is well regarded for integrating the story of Maria's self-loathing as a Vileblood, and her eventual decision to abandon her dignity by using her cursed blood against the hunter in her second phase. This exact narrative can be seen in Morgott's and Malenia's fights.
In Radahn's case, what he is "holding back" are the stars. Thus, it is entirely fitting that he introduces his second phase by becoming the thing he fought: a falling star.
by Yzzlthtz
In this case, since the stars are something are external to Radahn rather than something he was withholding as a part of himself, the transformation is not technically regressive, but it can be more aptly compared to Nietzsche's famous line on becoming what you fight:
"He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself; and if you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into you."
This is highly applicable to Radahn's narrative, for multiple reasons. First, as mentioned, Radahn becomes the thing he fought. Second, Caelid is where most of the dragons live; the Wailing Dunes are technically located in Dragonbarrow. And third, Radahn literally did stare into the abyss, since holding back the stars would surely involve looking into space, which is often described as an abyss. Plus, Radahn is a Carian, so staring into the abyss is something he was likely doing from a very young age.
link for the thumbnail:
Gurranq howling:
submitted by Dryadversity to EldenRingLoreTalk [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 11:00 Particular_Ad317 Crying, screaming, hating everything

Just venting. My mum and I are picking up my sister in France, where she was on an exchange for the past 2 weeks. I'm here to surprise her because tomorrow I'm leaving to go back to uni. We wanted to split the drive, I started. I'd say I'm a pretty good driver, and I've also done some long distance driving by myself. But I swear to God I cannot take it if someone tells me what to do when I'm driving.
And my mum is particularly good at riling me up. We are driving through Luxemburg and I never went there on the Autobahn, just through the city, so I said that. But I also said, that I'd probably be able to find it through reading signs, even if it weren't for the navigation we have on.
Bit then she started saying stuff like, look there it says, Luxembourg, like I can't fucking read. Like the navigation hasn't been telling me fir the past three minutes to make a right in 1km? Wtf
It's always stuff like that. Right after we left, like literally two minutes into the carride, she's like can you at least act like your holding the steering wheel correctly, excuse me that I'm driving in a straight line without having both hands in the correct position Mrs is sit on one of my hands while driving.
So when we went to get gas we were discussing how she gives me that advice and she's like it doesn't matter to you how little or how much I say you're always pissed. I tell her it's not about the quantity but the content of what she tells me that pisses me off.
That goes back and forth for a bit, and them she's like, that's enough now. And I'm like yup because I'm not gonna drive any further, so now I'm sitting in the back with a grudge and over two hours left to drive before be get to my sister.
I'm pissed
submitted by Particular_Ad317 to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 10:58 heyuiuitsme i was hungry when i wrote this

So, at the end, you know. When my house was flooded with sewage and i was sickened with an infection from it, well, i tried to straighten my life out, i had money, that wasn’t the issue
It was time. I needed more time off and the manager at work was being a real fucking cunt about it. The manager-manager was out with covid, so i couldn’t go over her head, or i fucking would have. I had all these pto days that had to be used by the end of the year or i’d lose them and she wouldn’t let me use my time without a dr’s note
And, i needed to go to the doctor, like no fucking joke. But, i had to keep going back when it wasn’t wholly necessary to get the notes, just so i could try to save my stuff from getting ruined with sewage.
I was just so mad at her, i quit on a holiday without notice. That’s how mad i was. Like, i’d been really clear with mgmt that i wasn’t real happy, you know. With compensation. Over and over all the fucking time.
Heather’s on her own at work is as bad as any union ever was. You know, idk, i advocate for myself in terms of money, or hours i need to scheduled, all kinds of shit. You know, i negotiate that shit.
If they’ll have it and if they want … well, have fun getting along without me and if you’ve been a dick to me the whole damn time i’ve been here, i’m going to stick to ya when i leave. That’s according to my work history
But, if you’re fair, i’m fair. You know. That’s how it is.
So, anyway, i was outside smoking and they were going over to wendy’s. I mean, you know. Still the best price for what you get. Five dollars. Idk, it’s still a real good deal. Idk, i usually get a #1, Dave’s Classic Single. Just the way it comes. It’s good. It’s a good burger.
And, wendy’s chicken sandwiches were my fisrt great love. Idk, i cheat on that spicy chicken sandwich with the asagio one. They’re both real good. I didn’t mean for this to be a wendy’s commercial. But, we were outside talking about it.
Dave Thomas is a popular topic of conservation in East Tennessee. Probably cause he’s an essay topic in 8th grade tennessee history. An oral report that we had to give about a famous person from the area that does a lot of good deads. Dolly is also a popular subject in these reports.
Like, one report every six weeks about different essay topics and you had to read your report in front of the whole class. In Tennessee History. Oral Reports. Essays. We did it in the 7th grade, too. But, you don’t have to read them aloud in front of the whole class, but you can for extra credit if you want to.
That’s how teachers used to do it, like everyone has to do an essay and then read them to the class. Idk, if they still do that or not. That’s how most of our class time in the 80’s was spent. Listening to other kids give reports.
I wonder if when my kids eat at wendy’s if they think, “ahhhh, mom’s cooking”
I swore off fast food like, the day before yesterday. Too much sodium. But, i really super love wendy’s food. And, arby’s. Idgaf what late night comedians say, arby’s is fucking great. These got these wraps you can can take to work and have for lunch. It’s like, you know, if someone gave a shit and packed your lunch. Those Arby’s wraps are great, and super convenient and easy to pack for lunch.
If you work 2nd or 3rds. You know. That’s how people do. They stop and get something that will hold over in the fridge. Wraps are great, all the fast food restaurants should recognize that market. I mean, when i was working up there, that’s how i packed my lunch like, most days.
Wendy’s salads or arby’s wraps. How 2nd shift packs lunch. Idk, maybe that’s just me. Subway, too. But, i can’t eat subway in my car. I probably could if i didn’t ask them to put so much stuff on it. But, i get leaky subs at subway.
Also, i need to stop spending so much on that, you know. So, i got these .. real food from the grocery store. Ugggghhhhhhhhh. I hate that.
It’s fine. It tastes fine and it’s better for you, it’s just not as fucking yummy Arby’s curly fries. Beef and cheddar add lettuce and tomato. Both sauces, horsey and arby’s sauce. That sauce on those fries. Omg. i shouldn’t be having any little cups of cheese, that’s high in sodium.
It’s about moderation, lol. In shit you should not be eating any fucking way, but i love it. But, now it’s a special treat. It’s 1:31am. Past time time either of those things are even fucking open. I wonder if Hardee’s is open.
They got great burgers, too. But, for real. It’s thoe biscuits at hardee’s. They have the best breakfast. When my sister was pregnant, i would take her to the doctor down that way. We’d stop at hardee’s on the way and grab some biscuits.
They’re all fucking good. Chicken, yes. Sausage, that one. Sometimes they got that country fried steak biscuit at hardee’s. I just about live for that. Omg, when that comes back. Way better than mcrib.
I think it’s seasonal. Or, something like mcrib. They don’t always have that country fried steak. Or, maybe they do. Idk, seems like there’s seasonal biscuits there. Cause sometimes they have that pork chop biscuit. Omg, good as hell. All those biscuits are always fucking good.
Expensive. Little bit.
I like to stick to the restaurants that have real sweet tea. Those are my favorites. Where the tea is good. And, pepsi-co subsidiaries, your tea sucks. And, so does yours burger king.
Arby’s does have good tea. It’s better than mcdonald’s tea. And, wendy’s. Both those teas weak and mcdonald’s uses too much sugar or something. Idk, i think they’re using some kinda liquid sugar. I don’t like mcdonald’s tea no more. That lemonade is really good though, it has pulp in it.
I’m starving. And, i don’t want my save money meal. I said i wasn’t going to doordash anymore. After i got the … suspicious food. It didn’t make me sick or nothing. And, they gave me my money back. But, you know. Left a bad taste in my mouth
Mostly cause i still can’t figure out where they hell it came from. I been showing it’s picture around. You know. In the neighborhood, hey, you know where this food came from. Nobody that live down here knew where it was from.
Then, I accidentally ordered a meal kit service in a scrolling accident. That comes monday, and i have to eat it cause, you know. I mean, i’m trying to save money. Ok. and, overall it was cheaper than going to the grocery store. But, that’s just an introductory rate. You know.
Tricky website, though. Scammy kind of, i mean, i was trying to see the menu cards before i ordered and accidentally ordered, then there’s no way to cancel until the trial period is over. I set an event in my phone to remind me to cancel it.
For serious, i thought it was the other one that i did want to order. Like, one of those, you don’t even have to cook the food. It’s just like, fresh food tv dinners you just put in the toaster over.
And, i was like, holy shit that’s perfect, but then, idk, i couldn’t remember the name, and also, it’s not exactly that, but that’s what i want, but i mean, this is a diet for me. Ok. like, this is the diet.
The companies that do do the exact thing i want only make healthy food. And, i mean, what the fuck, isn’t that fatty descrimination. I don’t want no keto or vegan or none of that kinda shit. Just like, you know. Like, frozen dinners that have never been frozen and made of fresh food that i can put in a toaster oven.
I mean, why can’t someone make that. I got some at the grocery store, not a lot of variety. Both of the ones that i’ve tried so far, good. Could use some seasonings. I mean, really. But, fine. Not as yummy as pizza.
So, i need a step plan to, you know. It a diet step plan where i will eat ever so slightly healthier, and maybe slightly less take out and fast food. It’s my new year’s resolution.
But, really i’m just looking for food that doesn’t suck for as cheap as humanly possible. Wendy’s is at the very top of that list. I still get those $5 biggie bags, too. Idk, comes with nuggets and a burger and fries and a soda. Maybe the 5th thing is a cookie. Idk. used to be a cookie and they wouldn’t let you trade your nuggets for a cookie instead. No, you can’t trade out any of the items. That’s how that works. At wendy’s. They won’t let you trade items in the biggie bag.
There’s an extra charge to put lettuce and tomato on your burger, but they will do that.
That’s the part of being a mom that no one tells ya, like, having to explain fast food restaurant policies to toddlers. That’s the best. It’s like customer service, but if you had to live with the karens. Those four for fours. That’s how my kids graduated from happy meals. Like, idk, i’d ask them that or a happy meal and they’d be like, four for four.
Rather have the nuggets than a toy.
They’ll let you alter the topping on the burger. It comes with mustard, ketchup, onion, pickle, bacon, and cheese. You can take anything away from that or you can add lettuce and/or tomato
Those are wendy’s rules. I can’t help it. Omg, it has mayo on it. Sorry, it’s mayo and ketchup, not mustard and ketchup. Yeah, i’m the car with the particular ass burger order. That’s probably all of them, idk about everyone else, but i’m always adding shit that don’t come on it or taking stuff off.
submitted by heyuiuitsme to LackOfModeration [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 10:17 CranberryEconomy6044 42 [M4F] - Central MI, Spooky sober seeking same for ltr

Hello. I'm making a post here I've been looking for a while and I've talked to a few people but haven't found my person yet.
I'm 42 I live alone with my dog. Never married, no kids, little family and non religious. I'm sober but I am 420 friendly. Slightly adhd and i have a variety of hobbies including cooking, movies, video games, sculpting, painting, drones, I want to start with stained glass soon. And anything outdoors in the sun or water for sure! I would consider myself a logical person over feelings. I want to believe in as many true things as possible and as few false things as possible. I love science and thinking about physics and philosophy.
I have somehow carved out a fairly simple life for myself. I work in a bakery in a college town. I work 3rd shift a few nights a week. Come home, play some Warcraft, watch some TV, do some cleaning, rinse, and repeat. I am currently in the process of remodeling my grandfather's home, who recently passed and left it's in my possession.
Physically, I'm 5 ft 11 in. I weigh 173 lb. I'm not overweight, but I have a little extra but I'm working on. Recently lost 60 lb after quitting drinking a year and a half ago. I've always felt fairly attractive but also felt little attention. But I'm shy af so that doesn't help. I've got tattoos, quite a few. My forearms are covered, and I want more. I would consider myself slightly emo/spooky. I think there should be more than one Halloween.
Just thought I'd throw this in there. I was on SSRI anti-depressants for a while. And it's sort of killed my libido somewhat and it never quite recovered. I make do and things work like they should. But I'm not 18 anymore. It takes my while to warm up and be comfortable with someone.
I've been in a handful of relationships but I can honestly not tell whether I've ever been loved. So it's very important for me to find someone that wants to be with me. I would like to continue running my bakery and living in this area I'm in. It's a nice rural country area. College town. Geographical anomaly in that it's 40 minutes from everywhere. I would like someone who is introverted like myself. Doesn't mind lazy nights in. Enjoys working in the outside in the garden with me or just wants to be a homebody. Really love trying new food and restaurants, going to movies, live music, disc golf, being at the lake is a happy place.
My taste in music is truly schizophrenic. I grew up listening to heavy and death metal. But in the 2000s I started going to Rave parties and grew a huge appreciation for electronic music. I even enjoy some bluegrass. I love Depeche mode, of monsters and men, ghost, Fiona Apple , Odessa , Meg Myers recently , The Cure , Mr kitty, disturbed, Phil Collins , John denver, Sarah McLachlan, type o negative, the misfits, deadmau5, a bunch of various one-hit wonders. '80s music Etc. I do not like is post 90s rap or modern pop and country
This is me
And another :)
I feel like I'm rambling. If this post is up shoot me a message and we'll exchange pictures and maybe get a dialogue going. I hope to hear from you.
edit: I have posted here before. using my real account. Things got weird, so I will use this account until trust is built ;)
submitted by CranberryEconomy6044 to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 10:14 BZthrowaway_hibiscus WIBTA if I would sue my parents for animal abuse?

Hello, throwaway for obvious reasons.
I (18F) am from Germany and it is a crime (animal abuse) if your dog gets overweight, especially when he shows symptoms that are caused by obesity.
5 years ago we got our dog, a maltese. I wanted this dog the most, my little sister joined me. My parents (40s) got the dog only for us. However, it happened that my parents, especially my mother, took the main care for him. I said I would do all the care outside of school time but yeah, my mother wouldn't let me. She does the feeding, bathing and so on. My father, little sister and I do the walking. I am the only one doing big walks, my father and little sister only do small walks with him. My parents, especially my mother, give him a lot of food outside of his meals (my mother always gives him food from the table).
Combine too much food and not enough walking, he got overweight. It is not the worst at the moment but you can definitely his obesity.
I will move out during summer because I will start studying, so no one will do big walks. My parents said they'd keep him. Now I am unsure if I'd rather take him with me and I don't know if my parents would play along. I love that dog so much and I regret getting him. He is just not healthy. He doesn't show any symptoms yet but it will not get better either. Another problem is, he is a "country dog", hates cars, bikes, etc. and jumps at them. However, I still think it's better for him to live with me in a city than stay with my parents and get more and more obese.
I would move to the city where my bf studies and we would both take care of him. We won't be able to afford a big apartment, probably only a 2-room apartment at most but we would take care of the dog and his obesity and make sure he loses weight again.
I wanted to give my parents an ultimatum. They either sort things out and make sure he loses weight or I will take him with me. If they don't oblige I will sue them for animal abuse.
WIBTA if I did that?
submitted by BZthrowaway_hibiscus to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 09:53 healingihope told my parents

I told my parents about my cousin (this time the reason why I didn’t want to see him) they immediately comforted me and told me it wasn’t my fault, and they’ve been gentle with me the past few days. I’m not really sure what they’re planning to do but they’re not acting rashly thankfully. I might send them some resources. I think they’re putting on a brave face at least a little (we’re nothing if not good at hiding deep seated emotions). They suggested I talk to my sister to maybe find out if anything happened to her but I’m undecided. Pretty sure it didn’t happen to her but might want to talk to her anyway. That was the victory part though the next bit is kind of sadder and more morose jsyk.
I’m glad that I did but everything else is just so hard right now. I miss my partner and I’m afraid I’m going to lose him. I’m seeing my doctor next week to hopefully get new meds. I’m afraid I won’t get new meds. I don’t want to find a new doctor right now, it’s really difficult to find one currently around here.
soon we’re going to do couples counselling again which has helped in the past and hopefully will help now. Also I think I really need some more time off work because all this happening at once is so goddamn much. I can’t add the stresses at work right now (some of which are system wide and really fucking serious). I feel like I’m really going to get burnt out there if I do.
A lot of recovery feels like fake it till you make it which does work on some levels but sometimes, even though I have more solid friendships and stuff now I just feel so fucking down and like the worst person and that I’ll never be normal. I think the layers and layers of shame and secrecy over most of my life were suffocating me and I’m just so tired from untangling it all. I was doing this wheel of emotions thing for therapy and one of the comparisons I drew is that worry and shame feel like those occasional times in summer when it’s really warm outside and it rains, and instead of being refreshing the rain is warm so it just feels kind of gross, and you still just feel dirty and sweaty after it stops because it’s still humid. That’s what it feels like sometimes trying to convince myself I’m not all bad. I can’t change the past but I hate what it did to me, and that it made it so hard for me to ask for help for so long. I didn’t fucking ask for this.
I’m trying to use my tools I’ve developed more consistently. Reading Patrick Melrose is helping too.
submitted by healingihope to adultsurvivors [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 09:48 ThingsINeverDidSay i think i had a small mental break/existential crisis earlier

i felt really weord and "zoomed out"/vibrationy during and after this. like it wasnt really me speaking or thinking. i dont know. heres what i wrote
Crisis, .001
God. I am the god of my own universe. So is everyone else, of their own little universe. We warp and shift and leave imprints and marks and scars on each other's universes. Every interaction is a permanent brush of color in someone's stained glass window that is the glass they view existence through. How many have stepped far enough back from the glass to watch those artists in their work, painting away your own glass window? How many can step back and see the shaky hands those strokes are painted with, or especially the intent of their maker?
There is a higher god of some kind. Not an individual, no man or anything that would ever be able to be consolidated into a comprehensible imagery or explanation. The mass of consciousness. The bundle of souls. The lifeblood of the world and everything in it. Everything has a spark, an existence, a tie to it. Everything IS it, and it is more than everything. It is existence, and beyond. All encompassing, to unfathomable extent, literally impossible to conceive of extent.
We are all own gods, but even gods must bend the knee to something. We bow to ourselves and every bit of matter, every in-between space, every realm, every thought, every plane, every universe, everything that is and is not, and is that which is neither, both, and in-between. That same bundle of stars, pulsing energy, souls, sparks.
All of us gods have that spark. It may dim, it may waver, it may sputter, it may flare or pulse or shine so bright that it leaves your world looking dull and dusty when it calms. But it can never go out. No more than a dog can sprout wings on a whim.
When we die, we are reunited with the mass of sparks from whence we came. And it will be glorious. Heavenly, if I dare to compare it. There is no hell, for there is no right nor wrong. There is just existence. The concept of right and wrong, correct, incorrect, is ridiculous when it comes to morals. There is no good or bad way to interact with the world. The concept is meaningless. You are existing. There can't possibly be a bad way to exist. The terms are simply inapplicable in the sense that I speak of.
I. Me. God.
I. Me. God, sure, but who am I? I am not a god of fertility, love, war, rain, sun, moon, earth, fire, water... What is the concept that I refer to when I say "I"? Who AM I? Who is "I"? "Me"? My soul, my thoughts, my actions, my beliefs, my experiences? The blending of it all? My stained glass window?
I will have no concept of these menial things when I die. When I die, what will happen? I think that when you die you have an eternity's time in the fraction of a millisecond that your brain stops in. You will experience whatever it is you believe you will experience, because you are your own god. You have full authority over your experience of existence. But if you know this, what happens? Do you have full control over your eternity like a lucid dream? I think so. In that time that never is nor never was nor will be, for time is an odd construct, I get to play god. That is what my lingering human consciousness will comprehend. My soul shall rejoin the it of the universe and I shall be so happy, to be reunited in full, though I will never comprehend it in a meaningful way that I can express with a human mind. Or even conceptualize of a concept of a concept of.
But I will be, twice and once and never at all, and it will be bliss. True, unadulterated bliss.
Ego. I think I know it all. I don't. But, then, to know you do not know... Do I? Why shouldn't I? There are no rules. Unless there are, and that is the very thing which I am not yet aware of...
Awareness. Such a fickle thing. Most are not aware, or think they are more aware than they are. I fall into both categories.
Language modifies the brain's pathways, connections, and abilities. What would it be like to have no communication of this sort? Raw. Unrefined. Real. True. Natural. Synced. In harmony. A blessing but a curse.
submitted by ThingsINeverDidSay to venting [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 09:38 BuyWonderful My sister, Ava.

It was raining when she came. Dark skies had threatened a downpour all day, claps of thunder intermittent but the rain itself had held off until nightfall, until after we had gotten home, tucked into pj's and sheltered from the storm.
Hearing the door chime didn't surprise me, but it should have. My home is not central to anything. You need to travel dirt tracks and winding roads. Unless you know where you're going, I'm very hard to find. I wasn't expecting anyone, but still I rose from where I'd been sitting on the couch, trying to unwind after a long day. I wasn't psychic or anything, but I had a peculiar feeling all day that something wasn't right and hearing the knocking had cemented that for me.
She was dressed in a green sundress, sandals, a very strange sight considering the weather. And as the wind and rain danced violently around her, whipping her long, wet, dark hair around in every which direction, she simply looked possessed, like a crazy person. But still, I didn't flinch. Instead I opened the door, taking a step back to allow her inside. She glared at me as she stepped inside, dripping water onto the wooden floorboards, and making squelching noises with every step she took. "I'm not here to play games, Thomas. Where is he? Where is my son?"
For a moment, I'd had hope. Despite how she had arrived, despite the look in her eyes. I took a long breath, trying to compose myself, to keep my voice from breaking as I told her the news she had never been able to accept. "Ava, your son's gone, he's in heaven now. You.. You killed him."
The rage in her eyes broke me, sending shivers down my neck. She screamed like a wild animal caught in a trap, running to find the first thing she could grab hold of - my glass coffee table - and lift it and throw it as hard, and as far as she could against the wall. We were silent, breathless, as we listened to the glass shatter into a million pieces.
I'd never been close to my sister. She had been born years after me, after my mother had passed away and dad remarried, I was 15 when Ava came into the world. I remember holding her awkwardly, feeling something between love and contempt for this scrunched up, pink skinned and blue eyed little human.
I was moved out, living my own life by the time she learnt to ride a bike, by the time she started school. I saw them occasionally, holidays like Christmas and we would make awkward conversation over the phone on birthdays, but as time passed it was like they all were strangers to me, we had nothing in common, my dad and my step mum were busy with teenager Ava, and I was busy trying to start a family of my own. Life just got busy, I guess.
When I got the phone call saying dad and my step mum had been killed in a car crash, I was devastated. I kicked myself for not spending more time with them, and then my thoughts went to my sister, to Ava, 16 years old and now, all alone. I got on the phone and told her I was on my way to her, ready to help my little sister in any way I could. I realised I was about to become a guardian of a teenage girl who I basically knew nothing about, a teenage girl who was grieving the death of the only family she had ever known.
I needn't have been so rush in my decision to jump in the car, by the time I arrived it was clear that Ava was basically fine. It had been less than 24 hours since her parents death, but she was sipping on a daiquiri by the pool when I arrived. I cried to her and she held my hand in cold disdain. I never saw a tear.
It was only a mere few weeks later that I got another call, this time from a worried neighbor. The police tape cautioned off the childhood house I grew up in, a dozen or so officers roamed the yard and trailed in and out of the house, bringing out bags marked as 'Evidence'.
I wasn't sure what was going on. I knew dad and my step mum had been killed in a car accident, I wasn't sure if it was protocol to search the home of a deceased accident victim, I had no idea. So when I eventually saw little Ava sat in the back of one of the patrol cars, my heart dropped into my stomach.
I went over to the car to talk to her. To ask her what the heck was going on, but before I can get a word out, a beefy officer is standing between me and the car, his arm outstretched in a stop signal. "Sorry, I just wanted to talk to my sister. This is my parents house and -" The cop looked incredulous, shaking his head slowly then quicker with every word I spoke. He didn't respond to me in anyway once I finished talking, just started me in the eyes as he took his walkie talkie off his belt, and spoke into it. He asked for his boss, Stat.
I'm lead into a cop car myself. Although I'm not arrested, or cuffed, I still feel anxious getting inside. I wonder how scared Ava must be, and the thought makes me mad. Why the hell are they interviewing us in the back of a damn cop car? I fired my question at the Sargent and the cop in the front seat, and watched as they passed a look between themselves.
"I'm sorry no one's explained the situation to you, sir. Your sister isn't being interviewed. She has been arrested, and once the boys have finished up with the evidece bags, she'll be heading down to lock up. She is being charger with murder, so if you have a lawyer, how will probably be the time to get in contact." "Mm-murder? What are you talking about? I was told my parents had been killed in a car accident and now you're telling me my little sister had something to do with their death?"
"Sorry, sir. I should have been more clear. You're correct, your father and his wife were killed in a motor vichele aciident. This is relating to something... Ah, someone else, entirely. Now I need to ask you a few questions while we've got you here, if we aren't done by the time the others are ready to leave, we can continue this down at the station. That okay?" I nod numbly, not taking in what they're saying. The first question he asks me, is if I knew my 16 year old sister had been pregnant. I look out the window and catch Ava's eye. She smiles and waves at me, and even though I feel sick to the stomach, I plaster on a fake smile and wave back, as well.
Now, in this moment, I make Ava tea. She has showered, now warm and dressed in one of my old dressing towns. She cries as she sips the tea, saying she's sorry she's sorry she's sorry. She didn't do it. She didn't do it. She didn't do it. I give her a look of comfort and tell her it's okay, it's all going to be okay. She eats the lemon biscuit I brought out with the tea, between mouthfulls she tells me about living in the psychiatric ward, about how the people there scared her and the medicine she took made her feel sleepy and dull.
She asks me if she can stay here for a while, and I tell her of course she can. She's my little sister and I love her, no matter what. I tuck her into the spare bed, telling her things we be better in the morning, but she's already snoring by the time I finish my sentance. I close the door, sliding the lock behind me. As I prepare the evenings snack, I am feeling relived. I knew Ava wouldn't be having a great time in that place, but whenever I called up to see how she was going, she would only ever say things were fine, opting to always end our conversation before the allocated time was up.
I could hear the sadness in her voice, the desperation to get out, and it broke me. I would offer to come visit, bring her anything she felt like but she said with the contraband ban, there was no point. She never felt like having a visitor, refusing my requests and when I asked the nurses about it, they told me she spent most of her time staring off into space, they couldn't force her to accept visits, and that was that.
She would be out when she turned 23, after serving the 7 year sentence for the manslaughter of her newborn. Everyone said she was lucky to not get jail, but after hearing her voice in the psychiatric ward, I wasn't so sure I agreed.
Now she's here, out of that awful place. I'm going to really take care of her, something I should have done all those years ago. I'm her big brother after all, and it's up to me to make sure she's looked after. I go down stairs, this time carefully carrying a tray, with warm milk and few of the infamous lemon biscuits.
Karl is sitting up cross legged in his race car bed, concentration vivid on his little face as he plays a game on his Xbox. A moment later he let's out a little whoop, and I can't help but to smile at his excitement. "Kicking everyone's butts still, I see." Karl laughs at my comment, blushing but pleased. I can tell he's chuffed, and it makes me happy seeing his genuine joy.
I place the tray on his desk, and sit next to him to watch him play for a while. He offers me the controller and asks if I want to have a turn? I shake my head, and thank him, telling him its time for this old man to be getting to bed. He grins at me when I call myself an old man, and shakes his head laughing as he calls me silly.
"Milk and biscuits here when you're ready. Remember, lights out in an hour. I love you, son." "Okay, thanks dad. I love you, too."
As I walk out of his room, I ponder for a moment, wondering and hoping it wasnt, if it was possible he had heard any of that commotion upstairs, but eyes still glued to the screen, Karl seemed as happy as ever and basically impervious to anything apart from the car racing game he was playing.
It was me who'd asked her to babysit. Begged her, really. Told her how much Jennie and I had been fighting, how hard the baby was on our relationship. She said she really wanted to help her big brother out and she even said it would be a welcome distraction from the finals she was studying for. No mention of the parents she had recently lost.
She told me she felt a bit nervous about it all, but she felt it would be good for her, as well. I agreed. We organised a time for an evening a night away, and that was that, my plan was in motion. Done all over HiddentextApp of course, so there was no trace of our conversation.
It was all the rage with the kids these days, according to Google, so when I suggested it to my sister, she hadn't batted an eyelid. I knew she had been having trouble sleeping, and honestly, for the both of us, it seemed like the easiest way.
There would be no one to blame, it would be a simple, cruel act of nature that no one would even consider questioning. She could of said it was an accident, and everyone would have believed her. I didn't think she would do what she did. I asked her if she was still okay to babysit, feigning guilt and worry, and she had nodded. Our fathers and her mother's death had not seemed to greatly affect her. She seemed bored of talk of them. "A distraction would be great." I thanked her with a close, tight hug, and told her I'd brewed her some green tea and made a batch of an old recipe my mum used to make me while I was growing up, lemon biscuits.
Once Ava was settled on my couch, Netflix on the tv, with her snacks and mug of green tea. She had baby monitor on hand so she was ready to hear the cries that would never come. I expected silence when I got home. I expected Ava, sleeping peacefully, still on the couch where she had first sat down.
But she wasn't. And the house was not silent, instead the sound of an electric saw penetrated the halls. Maybe the shock of losing both parents, perhaps she felt bad for the fact they were out on the roads that night, they would have been safely tucked up in their bed if it had not been for their teenage daughter needing to be picked up. I don't know, seeing the baby like that.. Well, I guess that honestly would've broken anyone's soul.
At the start, I tried to explain to her, calmly and using soft voices, but she was beyond contemplating my words. It was as if what I was saying to her, she just simply could not comprehend. I tried to stop her, honestly I did, but she was a force that could not be reckoned with and truly, Ava had basically already finished when I arrived home.
The walls were painted red. My hacksaw now lay disgauardrd to one side of Ava, who was just as red as the walls. I didn't notice the noise had ceased. All I could hear was the hammering of my own heart in my chest. She cradled something white and rubbery to her chest, blood making it slippery to keep hold of, and once I realised what it was, I'm throwing up and crying and screaming as well.
When I catch my breath I ask what the fuck she has done and she tells me it's her son, her son, her son. She loves him. She loves him to pieces and she's never going to leave him. She was fixing him. Fixing him. Fixing him. She laughs and smiles. I take her home, with what's left of the baby wrapped up in a towel. She holds the towel as we drive, singing to it, cooing.
The scene is stuck in my memory, a picture I have tried hard to forget, but it greets me every time I close my eyes. I sit in the car and watch as she cradles the bundle in one arm, still singing softly to it, and let's her self inside my empty, parentless childhood home.
Now she is back, and this time she is a threat to my family. To my son, who can never ever know what this woman has done. She's still sleeping when I go back into the spare bedroom.
I am not surprised, because I did give her enough sleeping pills in her green tea to knock out a grown man. But, I had no choice really. If only she stayed away..I sigh to myself as I place the pillow over the top of her head. She could have started her life all over again. But no, she couldn't. As a good big brother, it was my responsibility to help her, in whatever way that meant.
I knew she would never accept that her son was dead or that she had been the one to kill and dismember him. I knew her life would be a constant battle of heart break and pain. I was doing her a favor. And keeping my family safe, as well.
It's almost daylight when I return home. I am straight into the shower, dressing quickly for my day before I head into the kitchen and get started on Karl's favorite breakfast - banana pancakes with maple bacon on the side.
He beams as I pass him his plate and thanks me for being the best daddy in the whole world. It's always the moments like this that I feel a pang of guilt. I wonder if his brother would have the same opinion, had he still been around. In my mind I picture the two of them, identical twins, sat side by side with me at the table.
Would Rory had liked maple bacon? I ruffle Karl's hair as he finishes eating, telling him he better get a move on if he doesnt want to miss his bus again, and he laughs and goes to get dressed for school. Before he left, he flashed me a grin and crinkled his green eyes with happiness. I think of last night, of Ava, those same green eyes staring up at me in panic when she woke up, managing to push the pillow off her.
She glared at me, opening her mouth to scream, or maybe ask me why, but I placed the pillow back in place and leaned down before she could speak. Her eyes were open when I eventually took the pillow off again, this time the green eyes were bloodshot and vacant,staring at nothing. The exact same eyes I had seen on Rory when I walked into the twins bedroom to check on him. He was blue, his eyes that blazed green were open, unblinking. I stared at him for a long time, until Karl's crys woke me up, brought me back to reality. I took Karl down for his bottle, placing a blanket on his brother, who was cold to the touch. I knew it was too late. I knew it didn't matter anymore. But to me, it would always matter.
I was a good dad, really I was. I had wanted to be a dad for so long, that when I heard my baby sister was pregnant at 15 years old, I felt sick with anger and disappointed. But my dad and step mum had pleaded for me to take the babies, to raise them. Ava didn't want them, she wanted to get rid of them, but it was too late in the pregnancy.
They told me Ava had her whole life ahead of her. They told me I could have what I had always wanted, to be a dad. We didn't have to tell anyone. It would be a family secret. Just better for everyone that way, my dad had said. So I agreed.
I had never wanted to hurt Ava. I had given her sleeping pills so she wouldn't go searching for her son. So she could simply fall asleep, and I'd come home later that evening, and together we would discover the absolute heart breaking news that baby Rory had passed away in his sleep. Which is what had happened, just a few hours before.
She had questioned why their would only be one baby to look after, but when I explained that Karl had been a bit under the weather and we wanted to keep a close eye on him, she didn't give it another thought. She never even asked why Jennie wasn't around, given we were supposedly heading off for a mini getaway sans one child.
I hadn't told anyone we'd separated, after she decided having kids just wasn't for her. I felt guilty, but not too guilty. Ava had given the babies away without another thought, not even bothering to check in on them or ask how they were growing. I didn't think it would truly affect her so much. And so.. Badly.
But in a fucked up way, it all worked out in the end, I guess.
Karl was safe then, because the girl that was his mother had truly lost her mind and she was kept away in a place she couldn't reach him, even thought it seemed as if she had completely forgotten of his existence, I always had the idea in my head that she would one day remember there had been two bright green eyed boys, not just the one.
And what if she wanted her other son back, as well? I've kept him safe, unlike I was able to do for his brother. And I wasn't about to start letting someone mess with the sweet natured and gentle boy I'd raised.
I saw things in Ava that made me realise I had never known her, only knew what I thought she was, what I wanted to her to be, the sweet, sweet little sister. Instead, my sibling had been a devil in disguise. As we leave the house, ready to make our trekk to the school bus stop, I glance at the window at the fresh mound of dirt thats waiting to be spread when I get back.
Karl notices it, and asks if he can plant some roses there when he gets home. I tell him that's a wonderful idea, wondering if and how he could possibly know that flowers were Ava's favorite flower.
I shake the idea from my head, and together we walk down the dirt roads, hand in hand.
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2023.04.01 09:37 RPA031 Pit pup bites vet and owner (March 2023, Pineland, Texas USA)

Pit pup bites vet and owner (March 2023, Pineland, Texas USA) submitted by RPA031 to BanPitBulls [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 09:32 IceHot5152 Thinking of dazai’s bondages as previous post owner got deleted

Sorry great person that reading it but you maybe a little bit not logical or never seen self harming people. And mostly possible option that he was Hanging himself, it leave purple marks, and as we look at dazai’s bandages position on neck it could be highly possible, as for his wrists it high and simple way of self harm , cutin, but then other question comes, he not hiding it at all. As most know of people do self harm they disinfect it and cover In bandages, or If they are lazier they skip this process and just cover by long sleeves , or one of this tight thin long gloves , so scars ain’t visible. But what about dazai? Why he showing it, it could be possible that he is not ashamed of it and got used to people not caring about it. Then question comes why would he harm himself if he could easy unavailed himself with his genius mind by finding fyodor and allow him to kill dazai. But no, he keep hurting himself and get out it all as joke, he could be type of “sad clown” phenomenon, when person acts all funny on public , but inside and when he is alone he is emotionless or sad . If we think farther why he keep himself alive? What is his goal, he saying his goal is to кіll himself, he had many opportunities. And yet he is alive, so it’s highly possibly that he have some end goal, not suicide, but something that he still living for , staying alive for and going for. There is some chance that he want to get book to get back his dear Oda Sasunoske, but with his type of mind he would know that his friend won’t like it. So as we going in story of bungou stray dogs, we will find slowly and through high logic, mind usage we will find many answers to different questions and this question will be answered too. ( p.s.f someone read this far thank you for reading, and it’s only my opinion that I just made up through getting out what we have to get this, and I’m writing it at 2:33 am and my writing get out of my standards so sorry for hurting you people, and may the wisdom and truth come along with you in your long adventure called life)
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2023.04.01 09:24 Sinpleton025 [Rifts of War] - Chapter 9

Expedition report from RG-5
Area of recon: Shore of Meilume due east of Galdush
Report carried out by Lieutenant Eric Ross
Report states: RG-5 has encountered an elven outpost on its way to the shore. The purpose of these outposts is to act as checkpoints for the Imperial army as well as to maintain surveillance within an area. The outpost encountered by RG-5 had thirty soldiers guarding it. RG-5 attempted peaceful contact, however, the elves engaged and RG-5 retaliated. All enemies have been neutralized and RG-5 has suffered no casualties and the outpost has been searched. Upon reaching the shore, RG-5 made peaceful contact with a local fishing village. They helped in local affairs, such as hunting down several feral welfen and repairing their equipment. In return, the locals gave them information on the coast south of the North Alston river. There are seven villages between the river and the Alston kingdom border and three more north of the river, which make up the fishing community of the southeast coast of the empire. The southeast coast and shore are patrolled by the Imperial third fleet with its center in the port city of Cheemo. Further information is required.
Other news: The airstrip has been finalized and drones have been sent to various locations. New findings include the official location of the river city Kuruk to the north and Imperial fort Mundus to the west. A large cluster of Imperial soldiers has been seen gathering on the opposite side of the North Alston river. Numbers count between one hundred and one hundred and fifty thousand, including auxiliary troops. No signs of any movement south of the river. Will continue to observe. The CIA has been able to establish a network in the Meilume capital and the leading agent, Edward Garcia, has confirmed that the nobility is attempting to flee the area. RG-3 is advised to speed up. As for the city itself, the population is estimated to be roughly six hundred thousand with fortifications and a force of ten thousand soldiers. No elements of any Imperial spy network have been discovered.
28th day of late yellow season, 3000th cycle
Meilume capital, Empire of light
General Laeroth's words reached the nobility of Meilume and they heed its instructions. Lord Bellon Belus rushed his family and the guard commander followed. Servants carried bags and soldiers formed a formation to escort them to Una, where they will meet with the army that will bring them to the other side of the river and then to the city of Imslone. Bellon was always a father and husband first, and lord second. Nearly two hundred thousand soldiers were slaughtered in less than a moon cycle. That was proof enough that he needed to leave the capital and save his family. Abandoning his city in the face of the enemy was an act of cowardice, often severely punished, but he would take any punishment for those he loved. He would not be like his father.
Bellon walked through the halls and double-checked every room. "Hurry up! Leave anything not of use! Leave the valuables, they are only dead weight!"
"Bellon!", a woman called him.
"Nimriel.", he said.
"Must we leave? This has been our home for cycles. And our family's home for far longer. Leaving it is-"
"It is the only way. The only way for us to live. We must, Nimriel. If we do not, the enemy will take us."
"But Bellon-"
"Think of our daughter, Nimriel. Think of Taria. What if those barbarians breach the walls? After they're done with the peasants, do you believe they will spare us? I will not allow such a thing to happen."
And speaking of the devil, Taria appeared from the corner, wearing a battle uniform with a sword sheathed on her left hip and holding a helmet in her right hand. "I am ready father."
Bellon couldn't say he was shocked too much. Since she was little she used to sneak into the courtyard and train with the guard commander. He knew and let her do what she wanted. It made her happy. But this was uncalled for.
"Stop fooling around Taria.", Bellon said, "This is a serious matter."
"Then take me seriously!", Taria responded, "The enemy is coming and I must be ready."
"You are not staying. You are coming with us to Imslone."
"I am not. I will not commit an act of cowardice and leave my post."
"Your post is beside me. I am your father!"
"I am not a little girl anymore! I have trained with Aego for over a hundred cycles! I am ready!"
"This enemy destroyed two armies and bested two generals! We stand no chance! Our only choice is to flee as far as we can and let the armies deal with them. The best we can hope to do is slow them down."
"You dare doubt our guard like that, father! These soldiers are just as strong as those of the Imperial army and our walls have held off the Rosians and ferals! We can-"
"Do you not hear me you stupid girl!", Bellon's voice boomed through the walls and made the servants and guards stop in their tracks, "I do not care for your illusions! The enemy is real! Wars are bloody and repulsive and not a place for you! You are the daughter of a lord! You are the heir to Meilume and a member of the Belus family! You will cease this foolishness at once and act accordingly!"
This was the loudest Bellon ever had to shout. He could feel his throat hurting. Taria could only feel tears falling down her cheeks as she lowered her head in shame. In truth, she just wanted to prove she was as capable as she claimed. That despite being a girl she could live in the world of men. But her dreams would have to wait. Bellon groaned and shook his head as he kept walking down the hall. Nimriel hugged her daughter and tried to reassure her everything will be alright, but her words fell on deaf ears.
As Nimriel left, someone else walked over to Taria from behind. As he placed his hand on her shoulder, Taria turned around and saw a man she thought of as her second father. "Aego.", she said through tears.
"Do not be saddened, my lady.", he said as he wiped her tears, "Your father said what he said because he cares. You are his only daughter, more valuable to him than this entire world. He only wants what is best for you. And right now, the best for you is to go to Imslone."
"B-But the enemy. What will you do?"
"I am coming with you, my lady. I left my first captain in charge. He will make sure these otherworlders bleed for this city."
Taria hugged him, still shedding tears, "Thank you Aego. Thank you."
Aego hugged her back.
29th of June, 2070
Since the Rift Groups programs have been initiated, soldiers all around have been eager to join. Some more than others, some less. But none were as stocked as sergeant Emma Davis. The second youngest member of RG-1, she was nicknamed 'Trigger-finger' for a reason. Great results in the shooting range, but not much else. Still, when she heard the 'Prodigy' was joining she couldn't control herself. Ever since they left for Alston, she's been clinging to Logan like a leach.
"Sir, how many people have you killed?", she asked.
"I lost count.", Logan answered.
"Sir, why have you joined the army?"
"It's a family tradition."
"Sir, have you been shot?"
"Sir, may I see it?"
"Sir, why did you leave the special forces?"
Logan didn't answer that one.
"Emma shut up already.", Jacob said.
"Yeah, I think you're getting on the captain's nerves.", Michael said.
Staff sergeant Jacob Brown and corporal Michael Hoilman, Emma's friends since high school and pretty much the only reason she's not in jail. They've stuck by her side, being her big brothers for years, and kind of grown attached to her. It was like having a little sister.
"No I'm not.", Emma said.
"Yes you are.", Jacob said.
"You hold your captain in quite a high regard.", said Krolm, the leanoid, "Why?"
"Are you kidding me?", Emma said, "He's Logan Connors. All of Fort Bragg and the rangers know about him."
"Are rangers perhaps elites in your army?", asked Kai, the welfen.
"We're rangers.", said veteran sniper sergeant Nick Harper aka 'Bullseye', "We're a strike fast group made for quick attacks and quick action. We're not like the rest of the army that fights on the front lines. We fight in forests, towns, cities, forts, you name it. We hit fast, hard, and take care of our mission."
"Hell yeah we do!", shouted corporal Lamar Jones, the 'Heavy gunner'.
"Interesting.", said Clara, the lepian, "So that's why you have us with you. It makes sense, you don't really need us on the front lines when you got your large cannons and these armored carriages."
RG-1 wasn't just a normal group. It was the only group with sixty-six soldiers, a captain, and twice as many vehicles. This made them quite a force and that was necessary since they were being deployed to the border of Alston. After prince Bodin agreed to assist REC he chose three people who would aid him. Gregor Bachwich, son of Herwin Bachwich, the baron of the border town of Afa. He will be important in establishing first contact with the Rosians. Lieutenant Pallius Blazewing, son of Lor Blazewing, a great military figure in the Opherin army. The Opherin kingdom prides itself on great military history, having fought more battles than any Rosian kingdom or duchy in history. And finally, a youngster named Matheo Calo. There was nothing special about him besides being prince Bodin's personal squire. He's been with Bodin for years and the two became more than just prince and servant. Furthermore, Bodin promised Matheo he would bring him back to his mother in Olinor. Prince Bodin himself didn't choose to come along. His reasoning was that he wants to present himself in front of all the kings and dukes when they all gathered together. One more person did come with them. Ambassador Eugene Anderson. Together, they will establish peace. Or war.
Right now they were on their way to Afa, only several more minutes. In the LAV where the tribals were, private first-class Ethan Williams sat, writing in his journal. He was the youngest and newest addition to the group. Fresh off the academy, he graduated to be a sniper and was eager to learn from both Logan and Nick. But something kept him from them. Next to him sat Carla, who kept eyeballing him and his weapon. Ethan was nervous, he wasn't used to girls sitting near him, or even looking at him, and Carla seemed interested.
"What is this weapon?", she asked.
"O-Oh Ummm, this?", he stuttered, "This is a modified and modernized Mk22 ASR sniper rifle. I know there are older models but my granddad taught me how to use this one. It can hit a target from about twenty-two hundred yards away. In your measurements, that's four leagues."
Carla's ears went up, "Amazing! I bet I could hunt a lot of meat with it."
"Well, um. It takes a lot of skill to use it. I could show you, sometime."
"Oh?", Carla raised an eyebrow and moved closer smiling, "I think I would like that.". She purred a little which made Ethan stutter and sweat. Across from them, Lin watched with her arms crossed.
"What?", Carla asked, "Envious?"
"Not at all.", Lin said as she grabbed Lamar's arm, "I prefer strong males.". Lamar opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He and Ethan just stared at each other.
"Before your boners brake your belts and that LAV becomes hotter than a pizza oven at Papa John's, I wanna let you know we're almost there.", said lieutenant James Wilson over the comms from the leading JLTV3, the most veteran among them, chosen to uphold discipline.
"Thank you.", said Logan.
"They seem to be getting along.", said ambassador Anderson.
"Indeed.", said Gregor, "I must say, you humans are more strange than you are frightening. The way you use words with one meaning for another. And your expressions as well. Definitely not the savages Canus described."
"I'm glad we could prove that to you. And it appears we are about to prove it to the rest of your kingdom.". They were nearly at Afa. This town serves as a fortified stronghold against the empire should they attack. Its walls were tall and thick, with bastion towers and a single entry gate. It would be difficult for the elves to take it.
"The town currently has a thousand soldiers protecting it. It's usually three thousand, but two thousand went with me through the rift. Most likely on the orders of the elves, my father would never allow it."
"Only three thousand?", James asked.
"Three thousand official soldiers, but should the need arise we can recruit militia fighters from the residents. The town itself has a population of eighty thousand."
"That's a lot of people.", Eugene said.
"Yes. Luckily, it is able to support them, even if barely. The elves aren't exactly sharing people."
"That will all change soon."
As the convoy approached the gate, a ballista javelin hit the road in front of them. The city defenders had assembled on the wall and aimed their weapons at them. While the vehicles are armored, the JLTVs have weak spots a javelin can pierce.
"Hold it!", shouted a man on the wall, presumably the commander, "Present yourselves immediately."
"I'll take care of this.", Logan said as he exited the JLTV with his hands raised, "I am Captain Logan Connors of the Rift Expeditionary Corps! We are from Galdush and have come to make peaceful relations with the kingdom of Alston!"
"Why should we listen to you!?"
"If not me, then how about someone more familiar!".
At that moment, Gregor stepped out of the JLTV3 and, to put it mildly, made the defenders' hearts skip a beat. "Commander Barion! It is good to see you!"
Barion couldn't even speak for moments. His young baron was alive. Against all odds, he made it back. "Y-Young baron!", he finally spoke, "You... You live! How!? And what are you doing with the enemy?!"
"I assure you, they are not the enemy! I will explain everything, but first, I need to ask you to open this gate and let these soldiers in!"
Barion hesitated for a moment, "B-But young ba-"
"Commander, do not make me order you!"
He immediately understood, "Open this gate immediately! Let them in! Someone inform the baron!"
The gate opened and the convoy made it in. Luckily, there was enough room to fit all of them in. Barion and his men, as well as the people, could only stare in awe at what was before them. Truly, people from another world. The commander stepped down and greeted them as well as Gregor.
"Young baron, you have a lot of explaining to do.", Barion said.
"All will be explained soon.", Gregor said.
"Gregor!", shouted a little girl as she ran towards him.
"Elora.", Gregor said as he hugged her, "My little sister. It is good to see you.". Behind her came his mother and father, who at first walked slowly with tears in their eyes, not believing it was him.
"My son.", Herwin said as he hugged Gregor, "By the heavens. You live."
"Mother. Father. I have returned. Let me introduce you to someone. This is Lord Ambassador Eugene Anderson from the land of America on the other side of the rift. He is here to represent his country and the humans."
Herwin immediately walked to him and bowed, "I am Baron Herwin Bachwich. Thank you for sparing my son's life. It is an honor to have you here, Lord Anderson."
"The honor is mine baron.", Eugene said, "I hope we will be able to discuss peace with you and your kingdom."
This confused Herwin, "Peace?"
"I have much to tell you father.", Gregor said, "The prince lives."
Completely frozen, Herwin took a few moments to process that before replying, "He lives?"
"Enemies!", shouted a soldier from the wall. Commander Barion and Logan rushed up the wall. Logan grabbed his binoculars and observed the enemy from a distance. They came from a treeline, their camp was behind it, otherwise, RG-1 would have spotted them.
"I count five hundred.", Logan said, "Various races. Elves, Rosians, ferals."
"How?", Barion asked.
"These are binoculars. They allow me to see things from a distance. Try it."
Logan handed the binoculars to Barion, who observed them for a few moments before putting them on his eyes and facing the enemy. "Incredible."
Barion handed them back but Logan refused, "Keep it, I have a spare. I get the elves, but why are your people attacking you?"
"Those bastards aren't our people. They are traitors and thieves who think the kingdom is done for. So they run to the empire and beg them for forgiveness.". He spat in disgust.
"And the elves. They don't look like the army."
"They most likely were. They call themselves rogues, those who stray from their so-called 'Path of light'. Both of these traitors sicken me."
"Then let us help you."
"Why would you help us?"
"If we're gonna be at peace with one another, we have to establish a certain level of trust, don't we?"
Barion pondered for a bit before answering, "Very well. I am eager to see the army that defeated the elves."
Nodding Logan walked to the edge of the wall and faced his men. "Jones, take your men and mount the machine guns! Davis, bring the ammo! Williams, Harper, get to higher ground and shoot anyone that looks important or a large threat! Wilson, take Green and set up the mortar! Move it, they'll be here in minutes!"
RG-1 immediately went to work. Jones and his men carried the machine guns from the trucks and mounted them on the walls, Williams and Harper climbed up the tallest tower they could find and got into position. Wilson set up the 60mm mortar in the town square.
"I think we should get to safety.", Eugene said.
"You are right.", Herwin said, "Follow me."
Logan got into position with his Mk4 SCAR chambered in 7.62mm. "Commander, I need a favor."
"What is it, captain?", Barion asked.
"If these guys fire arrows, we don't have shields to defend ourselves. You think your men can take of that?"
"Certainly. Get the shields ready! Protect their soldiers!". In moments, each ranger had a Rosian soldier behind him or her with a shield ready. It was time to fight.
The horde moved closer and closer. First, they walked and then picked up the pace as they put shields above their heads. Naturally, the ferals ran towards the wall like rabid animals. "Hold!", Logan said as he gripped his gun, "Wait for them to get closer!". There was one elf on a horse swinging his sword and giving commands. Not for long.
"It's all you kid.", Harper said as he watched Williams aim his shot.
Letting out a breath, Williams pulled the trigger and splattered the elf's brain all over the field. "Boom boom motherfucker."
"Weapons free! Light them up!", Logan shouted as the rangers opened fire on the ferals. The freaks fell by the dozens as bullets pierced their chest, heads, legs, and arms and turned them into cold, dead corpses. The mortar fired at the enemies behind them, who stopped in their tracks, clearly confused and terrified. The rangers aimed their weapons at them and started cutting them down.
"Get some, blueberries!", Davis shouted, "Come closer! I dare ya!"
The few dozen that survived retreated back to the trees. The rangers cheered, but the Rosians didn't cheer as much as they stared in awe. Now they see why the elves lost, these people are powerful.
Commander Barion walked to Logan, "Thank you for the assistance. But I doubt this is the last we have seen of them."
"I know.", Logan said, "That's why I'll have one of my guys scout those trees with a drone along with Lin and Clara.". Logan walked down to the two of them, "Scot! Get over here!"
"Coming!", Scot answered. Scot Green aka 'Mechanic', was the group's engineer. He was also their drone pilot. "Yes sir?"
"I need you to pilot the Fly into those tree lines and scout for the enemy.". The SPFD Fly was a small recon drone invented by DARPA to save both room and energy. Solar-powered and long-lasting battery, coupled with its long-range and small size made it a very useful tool to have in recon missions. "Lin, Carla, you two are also going. I need good eyes and ears over there."
"Sure thing, sir.", Lin said saluting the best she could.
"You two do know how to use a radio, right?"
"Of course we do.", Clara said, "We're not idiots."
"Good. Go.". Lin and Carla ran to the trees as Scott maneuvered the Fly.
The baron and his family, along with Ambassador Eugene walked over to the soldiers. The baron was first to speak, "That was... most impressive. But I must ask. Why peace? Surely you seem powerful enough to take the kingdoms by force."
"Because my people aren't barbarians, baron.", Anderson said, "If peace can be made, then we will do anything to make it a reality."
"I see. And the prince? What does he say about this?"
"You can ask him yourself.", Anderson said as he nodded to Logan who signaled his men to set up a desk and a large screen. "With this device, we can talk to the prince and even see him."
"Amazing.", said Herwin as he eagerly awaited to see his prince. After some preparations, the screen was ready and it turned on. The lights slightly startled the Rosians before the screen was clear and on it was prince Bodin himself. "My... My prince.", Herwin said as he knelt, "It is a miracle. You truly live."
"Baron Bachwich.", Bodin spoke, "Please, rise. I am not before you just yet. This is strange for me as well. Am I correct to assume the human soldiers have arrived?"
"Yes, my prince. They recently just helped us crush an attack from a bandit horde."
"Do you then see why I have chosen to make peace with these people?"
After a momentary pause, Herwin nodded, "I do, my prince. It is incredible to see that a nation so powerful is willing to make peace with its enemy and not subdue it."
"We are not their enemy, baron. The elves and their empire are. This is why they chose to make peace with us. They understand we are just vassals forced to fight. I suggest you hear Lord Anderson out."
As they were talking, Scot called for Logan, "Sir. I have a visual."
Logan nodded, "Alright. Commander Barion, would you like to see the enemy?"
"Yes.", Barion answered, "Show me."
Scot pulled up the video feed on his screen, "This is their camp. I count roughly three thousand. Lin and Carla confirm."
"Where are those two?", Logan asked.
"In the trees."
"Call them back and give me the radio.", Logan took the radio, "Galdush base. Come in Galdush base. This is Captain Logan Connors of Rift Group 1. Do you copy? Over."
After a few moments, the radio spoke, "Copy Rift Group 1. Sitrep. Over."
"Galdush, we have made contact with border town Afa. Upon entry, we engaged a third party, designated rogue elves, and bandit Rosians. Half a battalion attacked us but we drove them off. We confirm the enemy numbers in three thousand, various races. What's the status of our air forces? Over."
"Three air squadrons of Invictus ACs and a Boeing Stratofortress is currently being fueled and should be ready in half an hour."
"Galdush I request a tactical bombing run. The area will be marked via drone. How copy?"
The radio went silent for a few moments before speaking again, "Affirmative RG-1. Stratofortress will be up in the air as soon as possible. Make sure to mark the area. Galdush out."
"Copy that Galdush. RG-1 out."
"What was that?", Barion asked.
"You're gonna get another demonstration."
"Captain!", Carla shouted as she ran towards him. "I have eliminated an enemy scout.", she said as she extended a severed head toward Logan.
Logan smacked his lips before replying, "I see. Get rid of it."
"Yes sir.", Carla said as she tossed the head into a nearby pile of trash.
'At least she's helping', Logan thought.
(Two hours later)
The bandits and rogues were sitting in their tents, trying to plan an attack. The otherworlders were an unexpected problem, but hopefully a problem they could be dealt with.
"Alright, listen.", said an elf, "We'll strike at night. It didn't work last time because there were too many of them, but I reckon there can't be more than a few dozen of them."
"That doesn't matter.", said a Rosian, "I've seen what that few can do."
"You attacked with five hundred to scout their defenses. You were never supposed to win. Besides, we can use the tribals to deal with them. As we are attacking the front, they will go to the sides and strike."
"Are you sure this will work?"
"Yes. Soon, Afa will be ours."
At that moment, an elf rushed into the tent, "Sir, you must come and see this!"
They left the tent and came to the center of the tent. The one who called them pointed upwards into the sky. There they saw something flying. A wyvern? No, it was too big. Its wings didn't flap. What could it be? As it flew over them, something fell from it. Many egg-like things started falling and as they fell to the ground, they engulfed the camp in fire and shook the earth. In moments, the whole camp was on fire and everyone was either dead or dying. The ground was turned into a burning pile of scorched bodies.
If there were any doubts about the power of the otherwolders left, they were long gone now.
Road to Una
The Belus family along with commander Aego and two hundred soldiers were on their way to Una. Taria did not wish to ride with her father and so she rode on a horse alongside Aego. Their hopes were that they would reach Una in several days and then cross the river.
"My lady.", Aego spoke, "Are you certain you should be riding alongside me and not in the carriage?"
"I do not wish to speak to my father.", Taria said, "At least not now."
"I assumed we cleared this matter."
"We have but... I still need time."
Aego sighed, "I understand. Still, you should not hate him for-", he stopped and halted the soldiers.
"Something is not as it should be. This outpost is quiet.". The soldiers tensed up. They could also feel that something wasn't right. In a split second, Aego was shot by an arrow in the side.
"Ambush!", Taria yelled out. Suddenly, elves, welfen, and leanoids ran from the sides and the outpost. The soldiers prepared but found themselves overwhelmed by the enemies' numbers. Rogue elves fired arrows at them while welfen and leanoids exploited weaknesses and struck. Still, the soldiers fought hard, making sure the traitors and savages suffer. The enemy numbers were dropping, but not quickly enough. Taria used her training and cut down several rogues before crouching down to help Aego.
"Aego!", she yelled, "Aego hold on! You will live! Please!". She cried as he struggled to breathe. He grabbed her arm and pushed her to the side, just in time for her to dodge a spear from a leanoid. She watched as Aego spat blood before dying, his life leaving his body. In pure rage, she screamed and struck the leanoid in the side. Pulling out her sword she blocked a strike from a rogue, stepped closer, and headbutted him before slitting his throat.
Turning to her left she saw the rogues and tribals dragging her family. "Father!", she yelled, but couldn't help as a rogue hit her in the back of the head, knocking her down on the ground. Her blurred vision faded away as the rogue smiled down at her.
"Sweet dreams, little girl.", was what he said before she passed out completely.
End of chapter 9

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